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Yup. I don't know that people who start out looking younger than their age stay that way. When I was young, people thought I looked "mature." Now that I'm 57, people tell me I look like I'm in my 40s. I suppose that's a blessing. My mother's 93, and has passed for 70. Of course, men have to "perform ...

IbPervert, I've never heard that before. I remember psychological research showing that smart or good looking people tended to keep their brains or their looks (measured by others' perceptions) longer than others. I like to think of the advice that Dr. Tyrell gave the replicant in Blade Runner who ...

Ib, are you talking about Dick Development, or going over my head?

Since I know nothing about you other than what you've written here, any advice I can give you is limited by my ignorance. That said, here's my take:

In any primary childhood relationship, a person learns two roles - the one he takes, and the one taken by the other. You learned how to be beaten; you ...

Paolo, your nephew has been blessed by the Pubic Fairy. (You'd recognize him - he looks like Tom of Finland drew him, with wings. He hangs out around gyms and the West Village in Manhattan.) Few of us have this distinction. When I was a lad, it sufficed to be fecund like one of the lesser rodents ...

Ah, the further reaches of the grass! What a sweet picture! I remember a junior high coach saying the only reason a student would be in the thick bushes surrounding the athletic field would be "cause he was playin' wit' 'is yo-yos." He was right.


I always feared and loved the locker room

too ...

A stick shift! That's good! Vroom, vroom! I'm amazed they got away with it. Was it only once, or several times? I wonder if the dick was not imaginery when they were alone.

Locker rooms have always been a torment for me. All those gorgeous, but hetero, guys! I want to look, but there are rules ...

Here are two closely related fantasies I often have. These have no literary merit, and I haven't tried to polish them as stories, but they're deeply exciting to me. Both are from my days in junior high school. (I'm 57 now.)

When I went to junior high school, the most sexually precocious boys got ...

Lovely.

Still, a beautifully imagined tale.

After the sexual ecstasy induced by your nice penectomy, what will you do for the rest of your life? That's the trouble with castration if done for a thrill - it can't be repeated. You might consider sexualizing and then losing other parts of your body. Eventually, you might retain only those organs ...

Now Riverwind, your denials fool no one. We all know you secretly desire to bear Michael's next child. Just think of it - swept up in the vortex of Michael's virility! The two of you could wear matching military outfits, moon-walk together, and the paparazzi would trail you to all the chic parties ...

Are you the Luke who wrote the three "Karen and I" stories? The English of that writer seems good. If that's not you, then please tell me where else I might see your writing.

Cher ami,

One wants to be free of the burden of hope - to fall without weight and without fear of hitting bottom; free of courtship, marriage, parenthood, and "settling down"; free of the need to seem like John Wayne; free of frustration and sexual failure and humiliation; free of needing to be ...

With apologies to Robert Burns for my altered version of his classic poem "My Love is Like a Red, Red Rose" -

My Mike is Like a Red, Red Rose

0, my Mike is like a red, red rose,

that's newly sprung in June.

0, my Mike is like a melody,

that's sweetly play'd in tune.

As fair Mike is, my bonnie ...

Now Gil, as someone whose avatar is a little rubber ducky, are sure you wouldn't want Michael to initiate you into the mysteries of sex?

Old Softee, the person in your avatar is a certified cutie. If he weren't so busy pruning his hedge, he might be of real use to me. If only Michael knew how to ...

It seems like I won't have trouble selling tickets for a chartered bus to Neverland.

Cropped close to the ground. I know what you mean. Oh, to run a roaring power mower across a field of waving genitalia. And Michael's precious winkie-dinkie dead center with a pink ribbon. After that, it could become a hood ornament on a vintage car at Neverland.

I can't believe it! Am I the only one here who wants to dress up as a five-year-old, complete with propellor beanie, all-day-sucker, and shorts, and then take a "nap" with Michael and feel his - ungloved! - hand sliding beneath my waistband? I shudder with joy at the thought. Oh well. Each to his ...

My attorneys have instructed me to say I have no intentions with regard to Michael Jackson's butt.

"Who would have thought that you could destroy my beautiful wickedness" - The Wicked Witch of the West.

Michael! Don't be offended! Come back, come back! Oh, now you meanies have gone and driven him ...

OK, so it's disgusting. It still beats intercourse with a lawn mower.

Still, and all, he's such a pretty dishy little nance, it's hard not to savor him just for the purity of his perversions. Had the mainstream not deluded itself, it would be obvious that Michael Jackson is our greatest drag queen since Liberace. The trick is to remold your sexual aesthetics around ...

On your bad days, you're like the young Paul Newman as Fast Eddie Felsen? You're making me salivate like Pavlov's dog. Your big stick can knock my balls around anytime. In fact, you've just suggested a new perversion. Wow! (We like to maintain an elevated tone here at EA.)

Bobov is a town in Poland where one of the major Hasidic sects began. A few years ago, I saw a documentary about the Hasidim in which the Bobover Rebbe appeared to be an inspirational leader of his people. At the same time, I was trying to create log-on names for myself at several web sites, and ...

Jackie Gleason would be tickled by your pen name. Do you have some secret affinity with The Great One? Bus driver? Fat? Schnook? Rather spend time at the Racoon Lodge than with "your woman?" Are you strangely drawn to men who wear vests over their T-shirts? I just watched Mr. Gleason last night in a ...