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Last year, I started a project to minimize my T level. I tucked my testicles into the canal and kept them there 24/7 and supplemented the effort with Saw Palmetto to drive the level down even further. I went on Black cohosh , an estrogen stimulant, because I was having hot flashes. Now I feel ...

💡I am preparing for GRS. I want more mucus membrane in the vaginal cavity than can be harvested from the outer urethra. I am thinking of stretching the outer urethra to about 16mm using catheters and later vinyl tubing when the catheters become too small. Through constant tucking and herbal ...

I am going to play the game, and go with reassignment surgery. I almost died trying to be a girl when I was little. I have nerve damage in my groin from repeated kicks from that incident. The incident came to visit me the other night, for the umteenth time. Since I retired, all that shit is coming ...

I went to my therapist of twenty years. I handed him my COGIATI score and a couple of things I have written about coming out. He told me he'd been expecting me to come out for years. He wasn't in the least surprised. He read my novel. He says I should explore the true self for as far as I need to ...

I have wanted all of it gone since childhood. I look forward to my outside matching my inside. Inside I am Helga, a submissive woman who cooks sews and nurtures. Outside I am a lie thought up by the people around me. The lie conjured up for self preservation in an intolerant world. I look forward to ...

My son is having a great deal of difficulty processing and accepting my push for the truth. As of now I am back to being more female... kind of like New York where I was basically a female in drag. I was uncomfortable in the gay scene, as they were just too flamboyant. I have my transition team in ...

It's all up to us to represent ourselves. Relationship, like genitals are nothing but trouble, usually. Genitals can be gotten rid of. Even if we don't like people, relationships are necessary. It takes work to weed the good ones from the bad. I wonder how many of my relationships will be intact in ...

I am putting together a blog entry about the whole story, and will post it here. I wish our country were more accepting, as closets are suffocating places. I feel safe here. I am deeply grateful for your concern. I still haven't figured out how to break it to my wife, as she's ignorant of the whole ...

After 60 years of therapy, I finally took the test. COAGIATI score 280. My blood pressure is through the roof. I don't sleep well. Tired of making excuses and lying to myself. The closet is slowly and painfully killing me. I should have done something in 1965, when the paperwork was easier. I should ...

Investigate transplants for disabled veterans. There are many young veterans who had their genitals blown off with IEDs in the middle East. The surgery is almost perfected, but there is a lack of willing donors. You could investigate that angle, and have the process done for free. I am looking at ...