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A lot of people get confused about this, but let me explain. When you have testosterone, the aggression, libido, and energy are very different. I personally like it a lot better, and like you said it can feel more "laid back". But don't be complacent -- here's how to look at it.

When a low ...

I think that the testosterone itself will create some changes, but you have to be careful not to let it just create more sexual frustrations and other bottled up energy -- if you go for more testosterone in your system, I highly recommend that you consciously seek behaviors that provide a natural ...

It sounds as if your situation is fixed, don't break it :)

Have you had your T levels tested since you've been on the Androgel?

The concern on hypogonadism2 group on Yahoo, from the folks that are using HCG, is that they worry that the leydic cells in the testicles may do more than just create ...

Hi Janekane,

It is hard for me to follow up with an appropriate response. You certainly have a flair for words and discourse!


In my view, oversimplifying a complex situation may lead to undesirable outcomes. The regulation of testosterone levels in "intact" human males is a seriously complex ...

I totally agree, and have been recommending the same to others -- if you're into castration but not transsexual make sure you try to maximize your maleness before going to castration. I spent years with a serious obsession with castration which was rooted in a general discomfort with my male urges ...

Guy26,

Here's something you need to consider and think about. If you still have your testicles, they will begin to shrink, because the topical testosterone will shut down your normal testosterone production, then you'll have to use more topical testosterone until eventually your own testicles won ...

I havent read your past posts, but I am glad to hear that you are feeling better about yourself, but I am also a bit confused. If you had normal T levels before you started the artifical T and now on an artifically high dose it doesnt seem to me that your issue was actually with T. It seems more ...

Guy 26,

Like tugon, I remember your posts. You were really in quite a state. I am glad to hear that you have found a means to correct the problem. As others have stated, taking a supplemental testosterone may cause your body to reduce production, so be watching out for a drop in your T level. For ...

Oh one other thing I just thought of...if your testicles do shutdown from taking exogenous testosterone, you may need to increase your dosage. Initially you benefit from both the T your body is making as well as the additional amount. When the testicles stop producing your levels can go down again ...

Guy26 I remember some of your early posts and I am glad you found your correct path in this life. I am happy for you, congratulations.



Thanks Tugon! I appreciate that. It has been quite the journey to get to this point. My last two therapist appointments have felt almost like a celebration. My ...

What was your starting Testosterone levels? Were they low-normal or normal? I suffered from low testosterone and know going on T has made a positive impact on my life. It didn't affect gender, but had plenty of positive effects. One of which is mental clarity/acuity, It didn't make me feel more ...

I have heard your story many times before. You are not alone at all. The only difference is, I heard it from female to male transsexuals. So neutral to male makes perfect sense to me as well. I suggest you go to a few transsexual websites that have large female to male memberships. If you have ...

Ever since I was a young teenager I have been driven toward castration. I never truly felt like a guy, but I sure as hell didn't feel like a woman either! (Not that there would be anything wrong with feeling like a woman, but it would be a much more difficult journey.) Once I hit puberty, I largely ...

I wanted to provide a short update. Yesterday went MUCH better. It is likely that my mood will be entirely unpredictable, but a near perfect day is great. I had one minor hallucination that lasted about 5 seconds. It was kind of funny. I was leaving a long 2 hour meeting with a bunch of my coworkers ...

Hi gjvr2001,

Yeah, if you don't have insurance than injectable testosterone is WAY cheaper. If I recall, a 10cc bottle is about $60 or so. At an average of 1cc/week, it is reasonable in cost especially if you do the intramuscular injection yourself. It really isn't that hard to do an intramuscular ...

One minor thing that has changed is that I am slowly losing body weight. I'm not 100% certain as to why. I normally weigh 141lbs +- 3lbs. And it is super stable. My weight has dropped to 133lbs. I haven't weighed this amount in years. I don't think I have changed my eating patterns, so I'm not sure ...

I was just going to provide a small update on the state of things, but it seems a bit longer. It is pretty obvious that I was flipping the f*ck out a few days ago. In some ways it was entirely justified, but on the other hand it isn't overly productive to flip out either. At least, not when you can ...

I should be working, but I can't stop thinking about my situation. It has been two days since ceasing the daily subcutaneous injections of 1mg/.2mL of leuprolide acetate. I went for the full 28 days without missing a single dose. My doctor wanted me to taper down, but I'm not sure he actually wants ...

Today is day 6 of being on 1mg/day of leuprolide acetate. I began to notice some changes, but not because of low testosterone. The most prominent thing that I have noticed is waking up at 3 to 4 am with a very hard erection and being excessively aroused. I'm not kidding. I pretty much have to take ...

Hi experiment,

Thank you for relaying your in laws experience with leuprorelin. From everything that I have researched, it sounds spot on. Today I finally found what I was looking for on pubmed. I knew that there was an increase in testosterone levels followed by a crash, but I didn't know exactly ...

Thanks nullorchis,

I have had a journal for a little over 5 years now. It is quite hefty as is. It is around 130,000 words by now, so it could be turned into a book of sorts. It is a mixture of both my struggles with bipolar and the surrounding issues of being driven toward castration. I generally ...

I might mention that my mood has been noticeably up for the last couple of weeks. I'd say that it is above base line and I'm in hypomanic territory. The mild hypersexuality lately only adds to my impression.

I'm really not for sure how my mood is going to react or change to this trial of leuprolide ...

My pharmacy finally got my
prescription for leuprolide acetate

in yesterday. It was WAY more expensive than I thought it was going to be. I'm willing to pay that kind of money once, but not twice. It took some investigation to find out why it was so much more than I expected and what I priced ...

I am finally complete

Hi Riverwind,

Do you know what the basis for your desire was? Maybe BIID or a kind of GID issue or maybe something else? When you say, "I am finally complete," that makes me wonder if it was more of a BIID issue.

Hi Hash,

I have wanted to write back for a while, but I'm just now getting around to it. The joy of procrastinating. :)


you're really psychoanalyzing yourself, which isn't a bad thing, but you can over do it.



I suppose I am doing a kind of psychoanalysis on myself. Writing has a way of ...