How long did it take you to become a eunuch?

[Nulloguy]

I knew when I was a child something wasn't right, "down there." It took me years to formulate what it was. At first, in high school, I went looking through the library during my library study hours at things related to my feelings. The only stuff we had at the time were mentions of AMAB men who didn't like their testicles would have gender surgery to become women.

That didn't seem to fit.

Then when I got to college, the Internet was starting up, and I found a Usenet group called, alt.eunuchs.questions. This was before the Internet had wonderful GUI and graphics, it was ALL text. I knew what a eunuch was, and thought it was all an ancient relic thing to do, but when I got to the AEQ group, I found a few men who had actually had it done. The light switch went on, and it was obvious where I fit in - I could have my genitals removed and still remain male. BINGO!

I graduated, then ended up in the army for a while. I struggled with this. Do I really want it? What does it mean? All that stuff we all go through.
Not only was I struggling with my gender issues, I also fully became aware I was a gay male whilst in the military, and the last year I was there I finally concluded I wanted to have my genitals removed.

This was very difficult, because this was the, "Don't ask, don't tell" era. If I said anything to anyone, I'd be shuttled out and homeless. And if that's how they treated homosexuality, what would they do if on top of that they found out I had a desire to cut my cock and balls off?

While in the military, I had a room mostly to myself, so I could spend evenings cruising the early Internet and discover more about all this. The original EA started up the last year I was in the army.

When I got out I was 27, I got castrated just after I turned 35. So from making the decision this would eventually happen to getting the castration done was about 8-9 years. To have the nullification completed was 18-19 years, as I had that done about 10 years later.

It's been about 30 years since I figured it all out, at this point.

[sftineun]

I knew when I was a child something wasn't right, "down there." It took me years to formulate what it was. At first, in high school, I went looking through the library during my library study hours at things related to my feelings. The only stuff we had at the time were mentions of AMAB men who didn't like their testicles would have gender surgery to become women.

That didn't seem to fit.

Then when I got to college, the Internet was starting up, and I found a Usenet group called, alt.eunuchs.questions. This was before the Internet had wonderful GUI and graphics, it was ALL text. I knew what a eunuch was, and thought it was all an ancient relic thing to do, but when I got to the AEQ group, I found a few men who had actually had it done. The light switch went on, and it was obvious where I fit in - I could have my genitals removed and still remain male. BINGO!

I graduated, then ended up in the army for a while. I struggled with this. Do I really want it? What does it mean? All that stuff we all go through.
Not only was I struggling with my gender issues, I also fully became aware I was a gay male whilst in the military, and the last year I was there I finally concluded I wanted to have my genitals removed.

This was very difficult, because this was the, "Don't ask, don't tell" era. If I said anything to anyone, I'd be shuttled out and homeless. And if that's how they treated homosexuality, what would they do if on top of that they found out I had a desire to cut my cock and balls off?

While in the military, I had a room mostly to myself, so I could spend evenings cruising the early Internet and discover more about all this. The original EA started up the last year I was in the army.

When I got out I was 27, I got castrated just after I turned 35. So from making the decision this would eventually happen to getting the castration done was about 8-9 years. To have the nullification completed was 18-19 years, as I had that done about 10 years later.

It's been about 30 years since I figured it all out, at this point.

Thanks for sharing your journey. So good to hear about others' struggles with coming to terms of our desire to become nullified.

[fusion]

For me the 18 year thing lines up sort of. I found out about castration around 13 years old and wanted to be an eunuch since then.Was finally able to get castrated when I was 28. So 15 years between discovery and then surgery.

[Aunuch]

In my case, I always knew something wasn't quite right, but without the language to describe my feelings I didn't wind up connecting the dots until I was 17

My dysphoria got markedly worse during puberty and only worsened as time passed, until I wind up so depressed that I considered suicide (my second time considering it, as I had a prior instance), which made me think about ways to stop the things that bothered me most, that being sex drive, which led me to eunuchs and castration, and eventually Nullification

After my mother had passed, I had made the preparations to get the surgery done, and finally, wound up getting it done on September 21st, at the age of 20