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today is my three month point.

Everything has been going just great, I couldn't ask for anything more.

Three months later; the hot flashes have all but gone. I haven't had one in the last month.

My weight gain has stopped. I say my body is going thru a bigger-bigger-bigger-smaller stage. bigger stomach, bigger chest, bigger hips, smaller penis.

I have lost about 50% of my length and girth down there. Somethings I haven't been losing size on are my muscles or strength. If anything they are getting bigger because this new lifestyle has forced me to take better care of myself. My right wrist and forearm do seem to be losing their definition.... My diet is better and I exercise more. Im not losing weight though, just maintaining, and that's fine.

Our Jesus sent me the "eunuchs" documentary. I found it very interesting, Z and thefraj both came across as very nice eunuchs. It made me feel special because I am a part of this family. I dont think i am as interesting as the people on the documentary but we are all characters and have our story to tell. I love all you guys.

Speaking of Jesus; I will be going on a mission a lot sooner than I had planned on. 4 circumstances came together just right at one moment this week. I will be taking a leave of absence from work this week, and I will be out doing personal missionary work very soon. This is my first mission, so everything is new and exciting. Please keep me in your prayers.

God has been putting people in my life right and left to witness too, some under odd conditions. That is something i consider very precious to me so I wont get into details here. Castration has helped me grow in so many ways spiritually. Before i was consumed with my flesh, now it is easy to stay in the spirit. Before I was consumed with lust, it seems something I have to deal with now is doubt.

One Christian off the board has been challenging me on my castration. I asked him if he realized i was already castrated and seeking to convince me I am wrong is a purely evil thing. But our dialogue did make one thing more prevalent to me; that my castration mirrored a Jewish man's badge of devotion to God. Both are a sign of spiritual devotion, but mine is also a badge that I will stay perpetually single and devoted to God alone. Married men pay attention to their wives and what they want. I will pay attention to God and what He wants.

My lusts have been quenched as a by product of this devotion. It was all part of a perfect plan. It is just great and I am happy to see what awaits me ont he missionary field.

My brother has come back to Christ, he always has questions for me when we hang out. He was saying how he knows the bible but not really, like he doesnt know anything about jeremiah, ester, or a lot of the people in the Old Testament. I started to tell him about the story of ester and how it is the only book in the bible without any of God's names in it. He seemed interested in it and we started reading it together. The first 4 chapters mentioned eunuchs about 8 times, and after the first time reading "the king's eunuch.." he looks at me and says, " guys with no balls, right?" i just said, "mm hmm." Although i wanted to know his opinion on eunuchs, i didnt say anything. Basically if my brother knows about me being a eunuch, my mom will soon know also. She wouldnt understand it at all and i think it would cause some sort of unspoken rift in our perfect relationship. I could really relate to thefraj's story about his "mum."

One thing I am going to address here for one last time, is the regret question. No, I never regret what i did. If i could push a button and have them back attached......no deal howie.

grace and peace

randy.

randy (imported) wrote: Wed Aug 06, 2008 10:36 am today is my three month point.

Everything has been going just great, I couldn't ask for anything more.

Three months later; the hot flashes have all but gone. I haven't had one in the last month.

My weight gain has stopped. I say my body is going thru a bigger-bigger-bigger-smaller stage. bigger stomach, bigger chest, bigger hips, smaller penis.

I have lost about 50% of my length and girth down there. Somethings I haven't been losing size on are my muscles or strength. If anything they are getting bigger because this new lifestyle has forced me to take better care of myself. My right wrist and forearm do seem to be losing their definition.... My diet is better and I exercise more. Im not losing weight though, just maintaining, and that's fine.

Congratulation on your first 3 months. What you are going through is very common and normal. The amount of change will always vary some from one to another. You will keep going through changes for some time yet. I am very happy that it is working out good for you. The muscle will turn to fat in most cases. It is just part of being a eunuch. Hope things keep going as planned for you.

great news

keep centered on Christ great things await you in the missionary field

you are in my prayers

Congratulations Randy on the 3 month point. The emotional changes are the greatest changes. The whole thought processes of your brain seems to change. That's the part that I like.

One thing I do not remember reading about is how castration would effect my sleep. In the last month or so my sleep pattern has been greatly effected. Has anyone else experienced this?

in what way

I hope the sleep problem resolves, but you seem to achieved most of what you have sought with becoming a eunuch....

randy (imported) wrote: Tue Aug 12, 2008 1:07 am One thing I do not remember reading about is how castration would effect my sleep. In the last month or so my sleep pattern has been greatly effected. Has anyone else experienced this?

randy (imported) wrote: Tue Aug 12, 2008 1:07 am One thing I do not remember reading about is how castration would effect my sleep. In the last month or so my sleep pattern has been greatly effected. Has anyone else experienced this?

I have had problems with not dreaming and my DHEA levels were below normal. My doctor put my on 50mg of DHEA (Oral Tabs) and the dreams came back like I've never had them. Vivid! Then she noticed my Estrodiol rising a we cut out the DHEA. No dreams and I was waking up tired.... DHEA taken by patches appears to not raise the E2 (Or BioIdentical cream) so thats what I'm doing now. What sleep issues are you having?

randy (imported) wrote: Tue Aug 12, 2008 1:07 am One thing I do not remember reading about is how castration would effect my sleep. In the last month or so my sleep pattern has been greatly effected. Has anyone else experienced this?

I know you may need more sleep sometimes, this is also normal with age, but we are still young.

You need to try and get a good nights sleep, I take it as you need more sleep.

You need to get a minimum of 8 hours of sleep a night normally a little more would not hurt.

mrt (imported) wrote: Tue Aug 12, 2008 3:23 am I have had problems with not dreaming and my DHEA levels were below normal. My doctor put my on 50mg of DHEA (Oral Tabs) and the dreams came back like I've never had them. Vivid! Then she noticed my Estrodiol rising a we cut out the DHEA. No dreams and I was waking up tired.... DHEA taken by patches appears to not raise the E2 (Or BioIdentical cream) so thats what I'm doing now. What sleep issues are you having?

I know you can actually get DHEA Cream online without an RX as well, a Physican can as well prescribe a compound DHEA Cream for you also.

I think Pregnenolone is also helpful for making you feel better, you can also get this over the counter normally 50-100 MG is what is used or recommended, these hormones should help you to adjust more easily.

I have heard of a few guys around our ages who have used this as a sole HRT who have been happy with it, but at 50-100 MG which is a lot of over the counter cream I would normally use 25 or 50 mg in the morning then another 25-50 at night, just depending, if you do not feel anything or much then it needs to be increased.

If you are having problems sleeping then I would recommend Melatonin normally 1 mg is good to start out with and if that does not work then increase to no more than 3 MG normally.

These are my opinions no medical advise is intended, just some helpful information I am passing on.

dancinggizmos (imported) wrote: Tue Aug 12, 2008 7:58 am I know you can actually get DHEA Cream online without an RX as well, a Physican can as well prescribe a compound DHEA Cream for you also.

I think Pregnenolone is also helpful for making you feel better, you can also get this over the counter normally 50-100 MG is what is used or recommended, these hormones should help you to adjust more easily.

I have heard of a few guys around our ages who have used this as a sole HRT who have been happy with it, but at 50-100 MG which is a lot of over the counter cream I would normally use 25 or 50 mg in the morning then another 25-50 at night, just depending, if you do not feel anything or much then it needs to be increased.

If you are having problems sleeping then I would recommend Melatonin normally 1 mg is good to start out with and if that does not work then increase to no more than 3 MG normally.

These are my opinions no medical advise is intended, just some helpful information I am passing on.

Beware otc DHEA cream. There is a type made that is synthetic supposedly so that it does not convert to testosterone (true) it also doesn't do anything. Another which is intended for women and filled with junk like Black Cohosh and other things with Estrogen like effects.

The reason to get your doctor to prescribe it from a compounded pharmacy is you get DHEA and no weird additives plus you really do want a doctor to monitor your levels and adjust the dose.

I agree very much about the 1 to 3 mg of melatonin if you have problems sleeping. But of course its better to avoid that *or any drug) If you can.

mrt (imported) wrote: Tue Aug 12, 2008 11:05 am Beware otc DHEA cream. There is a type made that is synthetic supposedly so that it does not convert to testosterone (true) it also doesn't do anything. Another which is intended for women and filled with junk like Black Cohosh and other things with Estrogen like effects.

The reason to get your doctor to prescribe it from a compounded pharmacy is you get DHEA and no weird additives plus you really do want a doctor to monitor your levels and adjust the dose.

I agree very much about the 1 to 3 mg of melatonin if you have problems sleeping. But of course its better to avoid that *or any drug) If you can.

I will agree with you on that, some of them are actually for females, however I guess some of the DHEA's are better than others.

I would say also it is best to have a Physician you will Prescribe you the compunded Cream from a reputable compounding Pharmacy.

It however can be hard to find a good Physician, Natural MD's an NMD may be helpful in such treatment though I would say.

Some herbalists can even be helpful just depending on the individual situation.

I think we need a section perhaps for hormones as well, to provide helpful as well as useful information that some of us can use and need.

mrt (imported) wrote: Tue Aug 12, 2008 11:05 am Beware otc DHEA cream. There is a type made that is synthetic supposedly so that it does not convert to testosterone (true) it also doesn't do anything. Another which is intended for women and filled with junk like Black Cohosh and other things with Estrogen like effects.

The reason to get your doctor to prescribe it from a compounded pharmacy is you get DHEA and no weird additives plus you really do want a doctor to monitor your levels and adjust the dose.

I agree very much about the 1 to 3 mg of melatonin if you have problems sleeping. But of course its better to avoid that *or any drug) If you can.

From what one Knowledgable Physican pointed out at a seminar as well as to other Physicians, was that DHEA is not a steroid and should not be considered a steroid as it does not turn into Testosterone.

Congress has made such a big ordeal about Testosterone, however it is naturally prodcued in the body some members of congress have had thoughts of trying to come up with the same thing in regards to DHEA.

**My opinion no medical advise intended or medical recommendation.**

dancinggizmos (imported) wrote: Fri Aug 29, 2008 6:02 pm From what one Knowledgable Physican pointed out at a seminar as well as to other Physicians, was that DHEA is not a steroid and should not be considered a steroid as it does not turn into Testosterone.

Congress has made such a big ordeal about Testosterone, however it is naturally prodcued in the body some members of congress have had thoughts of trying to come up with the same thing in regards to DHEA.

**My opinion no medical advise intended or medical recommendation.**

From my understanding I had always thought DHEA converted into Testesterone to some degree, however I guess progressed medical studies need to be done.

It though is a hormone which is helpful in regars to a HRT therapy in some cases.

**My personal opinion no medical advise or recommendation intended.**

dancinggizmos (imported) wrote: Wed Aug 13, 2008 4:33 pm I think we need a section perhaps for hormones as well, to provide helpful as well as useful information that some of us can use and need.

There is one. Try looking at the forums main page. It needs more information. Feel free to contribute there.

dancinggizmos (imported) wrote: Fri Aug 29, 2008 6:06 pm From my understanding I had always thought DHEA converted into Testesterone to some degree, however I guess progressed medical studies need to be done.

It though is a hormone which is helpful in regars to a HRT therapy in some cases.

**My personal opinion no medical advise or recommendation intended.**

I don't have it handy but DHEA has been studied pretty well and "real" DHEA does convert. Enough btw that I had to stop taking oral forms and switch.

The oral forms tend to convert "wrong" ie men get more Estrogen and women get more Testosterone. The solution that I've read in the medical reports is to use types that are creams that are rubbed in or patches.

The FDA made Testosterone a Class III drug mostly due (I gather) from abuse by "Athletes" and I put that in quotes because I have low regard for anyone who uses hormones to cheat on sports.

BTW DHEA is not available in Canada because it is a hormone and apparently abused as sadly is so much other stuff.

well it been a little over 4 months now. it seems a lot longer.

in the last month things have been getting harder, especially in the way of fatigue. i now know why parents go to amusement parks and seem to enjoy the benches the most. there are sometimes when i wish i had T back in my system. i could get it if i wanted to but i dont want the sexual desires that come along with it. i guess between this month and last i reached another stage in the side effects. the weight gain, subcutaneous fat, feminization, loss of focus and the fatigue have all gotten bothersome lately. they went from "meh" to "ehhh." the hot flashes are pretty much gone, and depression never hit me.

personally, i have been in seattle for the last week on vacation and i just got back home. i took the southern california sunshine with me. before the vacation i went to a picnic at my brothers church. i got beat at all the sports for the first time in my life. im slower and less competitive now. while in seattle i stayed on 5th n Union and walked about 10 times to the piers. lots of hills and 5 flights of stairs. i kept up pretty well but i was sore every night. God's creation was really magnified to me on the trip. it was a really nice vacation when it was all over.

i am still on a leave of absence from my job in So cal, because i was doing missionary work in No cal. im not sure if i should just quit and move to Nor cal. I will be going back northerly, possibly as soon as next week. I am just living off my savings now, and i miss getting up for work in the morning. My mission has been going fine so far. there isnt anything rillyrilly interesting to post about it.

my power cord on my computer broke and i didnt want to pay for a new one so i am just going to give up on it. im not bringing it with me up north, that'll be one less distraction. lately, partly due to my eunuchood, i have had my priorities very straight. hopefully i can make it and ill see you at the m.o.m.

good night

kristoff wrote: Fri Aug 29, 2008 9:52 pm There is one. Try looking at the forums main page. It needs more information. Feel free to contribute there.

Thank you with my free time I will take a look and contribute, I will be more than happy to do as much as I can to help.

Hope things are going well for you Sister, I remember the last time we had a chat sometime back your truck was stolen.

I hope everything is going well for you.

Sorry I have been so busy with work, then trying to continue to work with a Physician due to keeping my testosterone levels in check as I do not do well at all with low Testosterone, as some do much better.

Dear Randy,

When I first read your story I was very afraid. I told this before. I, and many others then knew you would have negatieve effects. Hence the very negative reactions in the beginning.

Afterwards I thought you had really the things lined up, and in fact I still am persuaded of this. I reckon it is very normal to have such changes in your body. These things will certainly flatten out, especially when you have a healthy life syle.

Above all I hope you found the peace you were looking for. If yes things will be no problem, I guess.

Take Care !

Vesal.

Randy, I believe your life will only improve more and more. You sought becoming a Eunuch for the right reasons.

Be careful what you wish for is one of those curses like "May you live in interesting times."

You might want to have someone close to you take an inventory on how you behave. I know that some of the changes that came with low Testosterone were a mystery to me. When my wife and friends came clean on how different I really was I knew I needed to resolve it.

Best Wishes.

randy (imported) wrote: Sat Sep 06, 2008 11:28 am well it been a little over 4 months now. it seems a lot longer.

in the last month things have been getting harder, especially in the way of fatigue. i now know why parents go to amusement parks and seem to enjoy the benches the most. there are sometimes when i wish i had T back in my system. i could get it if i wanted to but i dont want the sexual desires that come along with it. i guess between this month and last i reached another stage in the side effects. the weight gain, subcutaneous fat, feminization, loss of focus and the fatigue have all gotten bothersome lately. they went from "meh" to "ehhh." the hot flashes are pretty much gone, and depression never hit me.

personally, i have been in seattle for the last week on vacation and i just got back home. i took the southern california sunshine with me. before the vacation i went to a picnic at my brothers church. i got beat at all the sports for the first time in my life. im slower and less competitive now. while in seattle i stayed on 5th n Union and walked about 10 times to the piers. lots of hills and 5 flights of stairs. i kept up pretty well but i was sore every night. God's creation was really magnified to me on the trip. it was a really nice vacation when it was all over.

i am still on a leave of absence from my job in So cal, because i was doing missionary work in No cal. im not sure if i should just quit and move to Nor cal. I will be going back northerly, possibly as soon as next week. I am just living off my savings now, and i miss getting up for work in the morning. My mission has been going fine so far. there isnt anything rillyrilly interesting to post about it.

my power cord on my computer broke and i didnt want to pay for a new one so i am just going to give up on it. im not bringing it with me up north, that'll be one less distraction. lately, partly due to my eunuchood, i have had my priorities very straight. hopefully i can make it and ill see you at the m.o.m.

good night

I hope all is going well for you, I guess my reply did not go throughm however I wanted to say I am glad depression has not occured.

I hope that you do well and I wish you good luck in regards to your mission.

Sounds like you had fun on the vacation, I had noticed increased body fat as well as decreased energy, however depression occured with low Testosterone for me.

Take Care.

i forgot to mention that i wont be flying ever again. that was the last of me and airplanes. if california prop 8 doesnt pass and someone needs me to be their best man at a wedding, youll have to give me like a weeks notice to i can ride the bus. people tell me just to have faith and not be scared. but Jesus said, "lo i am with you always." so that is exactly where i am going to be..... LOW!

Every time I have arrived at an airport, which is twice, Jesus was there.

Bobbie recently took me on roller coasters. I was scared to say the least. The feeling of being upside down with just a bar or two holding me in place. Ugh. But it reminded me; when the rapture occurs, we as Christians will be swept out of this world in flight in the twinkling of an eye.