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Hash (imported) wrote: Wed May 04, 2011 11:46 pm Wonderful great news, congrats! Hope they let you go very soon. Keep us posted, your journey is remarkable and it's so beneficial to our community. Along that line, if you're not going to use any testosterone therapy, I believe your stump won't be a stump in a very short:) time. Without testosterone supplementation, it will shrink a lot and possibly, depending on how the reroute is made, you won't feel the need to have it removed. I understand your desire to get rid of every minuscule part of your penis, I just don't like surgery and if I don't see a penis and don't feel a penis, then it's not worth the surgery, but that's me. I also realize psychologically, that you might not be able to live with any part or piece of your penis still attached to you. Whatever you choose to do, I prayerfully wish you the best of luck.

Castr8edmale, tribes.net, continued to use testosterone therapy after he amputated his penis and the erecting stump bothered him terribly, so he had it removed. I don't know what happens now to a complete nullo who has had everything removed but continues to supplement with testosterone. I'm not sure if there's any sexual feeling left and if there is, how one would satisfy this graving.

Hi hash, thank you for your post. I have more great news. My surgeon just visited me and said I can go home tomorrow. I asked I him about my next procedure in August (to remove the stump) and he said I don't need another op. HE SAID HE HAD ALREADY REMOVED THE STUMP!! He wanted it as a surprise for me. I almost killed him with joy and he was smiling from ear to ear.

Regarding testosterone: I find that a man's sexual lust is felt in the penis and perhaps the prostate. My theory is that when the WHOLE penis is amputated, that throbbing lust sensation should disappear. I will be able to tell in a couple of weeks.

Just before I came to hospital (last Thursday) my stump was irritating me tremendously. It was 3 times more sensitive to stimulation than when I had my whole penis. I could orgasm by just lying on my stomach. I was so disappointed as being sexually 'dead' was my goal. That's why I'm so ecstatic when my surgeon informed me that he removed the stump.

Ok, so I'll report later my feelings (sexually) in a few weeks, after feeling returns to my groin area. I will be on 2cc testosterone hoping the benefits of it will do it's work but without sexual frustration.

If successful, all that remains is the battle of the mind. :-\

Later...

Hash (imported) wrote: Thu May 05, 2011 1:32 am Always the curious one, I forgot to ask, "What's the purpose of lipo-suction on your groin?" I thought lipo-suction was to remove fat? Without your penis, scrotum, and testicles, was he lipo-suctioning some blood or fat combined? I'm theorizing that in order to get the groin region as flat as possible, for the sake of the urethra relocation, he lipo-suctioned the area as much as he could.

Hi Hash, I think you've got it right. I also think by removing the fat will create more skin to work with. I would imagine the Uro removed quite a portion of skin when he removed my parts.

Anyway, removing fat is a bonus for me as my medical insurance wil never pay for it when done as a cosmetic procedure.

Hozit guys.

I just left the hospital this morning and I'n back home.

There is a curios matter which I would like to mention. Upon my doc's visit yesterday afternoon, I informed him that I experienced (on three occasions) a sharp pain close to the urethra. I told him I suspected that I had involuntary erections which caused the sharp pain. It was at that point he told me that erections (of my stump) was impossible as he removed the stump.

This morning I experienced that pain again. I explored my groin area and can swear I felt the stump, swollen (erected) and about 3cm long. Could the doc have lied to me? Could it be something else that felt like the stump?

I'm visiting the doc at his office on Monday. Pray that I don't preach the gospel to him in a hostile manner.

Later...

Thanks for sharing so much about your recent surgery and continuing saga of your on going transformation. It has been especially beneficial for me. I doubt that your doctor would lie to you about removing your stump, I suspect that what you're feeling now has to do more with it's removal, but you never know. If he lied, he'd be risking his license here in the U.S., but you'll know whether it's truly gone very soon because when the swelling goes down and healing takes place, using even a small amount of testosterone can erect the stump. So if you can't feel a stump erection and if you no longer feel sensitive in your groin and if there's no orgasm, then your penis is gone completely. However, you might have a phantom erection even though your penis is completely gone.

From castr8edmale:

Hash (imported) wrote: Tue Mar 22, 2011 10:59 pm http://www.eunuch.org/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=1

6091

#4: After a one month, I consulted an agent that got me in contact with a clinic in Mexico. I was having constant erections of the stump and they were very painful. My urologist here in the states said that I did not need the stump removed and to live with it. The stump was causing me mental anguish, besides freaking me out plus it made for a distorted look when I was aroused. If I was going to be a nullo, then I wanted to be a smooth nullo.

#5: In late February I drove to Tijuana to meet with the urologist and then set up a price and a date to do the procedure.

#6: In April I had the procedure done. I had the entire stump removed. I did not realize that the bulb had been removed also. I had thought that that was not going to be removed and it was not until about a month after the surgery and the swelling dissipated that I realized that the bulb was gone. I actually have the entire penis, root, bulb completely gone.

#7: The final look is unlike anything I had ever hoped for. I can feel the pubic bone and the bone surfaces of the pelvis. I do get phantom erections when I get aroused. But you cannot feel any type of erection under my skin. It's like I never had a penis, scrotum or balls. I can say that the phantom erections are incredibly erotic. I feel like I have an huge erection but there is absolutly no erection anywhere...not even a bump under the skin. its totally mental.

I think you have to let all swelling go down before you can really assess what is still there (stump etc.). I had a fairly minor penis surgery (you can see my thread on that elsewhere on the forum), and six weeks later there is still some lumps of swelling. The swelling can be quite hard and is your body's protection mechanism for the injury. Swelling especially will occur in a cavity created by moving an internal part of the body, so it is quite possible that the area of the stump is just filled with fluid under enough pressure to feel like flesh.

On the other hand, I think your doctor's behavior is a bit weird. In both operations he isn't doing what you expect (once didn't take out enough, second took out more "as a surprise"). So guess you'll see -- he may be motivated to lie.

By the way, "total penectomy" doesn't usually mean that the stump is entirely removed. Total penectomy often is flush to the pelvis, or because it is usually done due to cancer just enough is removed to give a good margin from the cancerous region. I think the idea of "total" is just a question of degree -- more than 75% the penis removed is probably considered "total" in most cases.

I'm still healing after six weeks from my minor surgery (still some scabbing, some infection, some pain and itching sensations and lot of loss of feeling due to severed nerves, and so I can't imagine having to heal up from such major surgery, especially two surgeries on top of each other.

Keep us posted and good luck!

Thanks guys, I think you're right. I'll give time for healing and re-access the situation. I must say that so far my groin area looks FAR better than before. The doc did do a good job. I pass urine extremely easy now. Last time I had to apply great pressure to urinate.

I'll post some media on tribe.net this weekend. Will give the link through shortly.

PS. One other MAJOR concern is that my pee-hole looks like a vagina. Hell I hope after the swelling those two lips will smooth out!!! D Although I pee like a girl (as I have too), I absolutely DON'T want to look like one.

Peace...

YodaNell (imported) wrote: Fri May 06, 2011 1:27 am Thanks guys, I think you're right. I'll give time for healing and re-access the situation. I must say that so far my groin area looks FAR better than before. The doc did do a good job. I pass urine extremely easy now. Last time I had to apply great pressure to urinate.

I'll post some media on tribe.net this weekend. Will give the link through shortly.

PS. One other MAJOR concern is that my pee-hole looks like a vagina. Hell I hope after the swelling those two lips will smooth out!!! D Although I pee like a girl (as I have too), I absolutely DON'T want to look like one.

Peace...

If you don't shave that area no one should be able to tell. But having the penis shaft removed the shin may sink in as it's nolonger supported there, but time will only tell how it will look.

Good LucK

_g

Hi guys, I created a profile in Tribe.Net

Click http://people.tribe.net/f9e9a815-3213-4 ... 512b55642b to go there.

I've disabled comments on my profile. Please leave comments here on EA. I don't think I'll be able to handle peoples snotty comments who don't share in our interests.

Later...

Your Tribe profile is very informative, YodaNell. I don't think you need to worry too much about receiving snotty comments there or here on EA.

It's fortunate you were able to get the dead penis removed before poisons spread. That could have been dangerous. But your most recent post-op Tribe photo looks really wonderful. It's been good of you to share your progress with everyone. I know yours was a long and often difficult journey, but with time you'll surely be very happy with the results.

weestub (imported) wrote: Fri May 06, 2011 8:54 pm Your Tribe profile is very informative, YodaNell. I don't think you need to worry too much about receiving snotty comments there or here on EA.

Thanks weestub, aslo, I think you're right. Coming to think about it, I think I read those horrible remarks on A BANNED LINK WAS POSTED!A BANNED LINK WAS POSTED!A BANNED LINK WAS POSTED!A BANNED LINK WAS POSTED!A BANNED LINK WAS POSTED!A BANNED LINK WAS POSTED!A BANNED LINK WAS POSTED!A BANNED LINK WAS POSTED!A BANNED LINK WAS POSTED!. Those people who comment sites are VERY rude to eunuchs.

On a lighter note... I can now understand how women can do the splits far easier than men. I think I'll be able to do it as well, with a little effort. D

YodaNell (imported) wrote: Fri May 06, 2011 7:34 pm Hi guys, I created a profile in Tribe.Net

Click http://people.tribe.net/f9e9a815-3213-4 ... 512b55642b to go there.

I've disabled comments on my profile. Please leave comments here on EA. I don't think I'll be able to handle peoples snotty comments who don't share in our interests.

Later...

Yoda,

You really did a real mess of that thing. The new pee hole will probably eventually ok, even if slightly depressed. However, it will be a big improvement over what you had.

You said that it works well for peeing while sitting. That is what is really important. I would like yo see a picture when it is completely heled.

Yoda,

Mac (imported) wrote: Sat May 07, 2011 1:44 pm You really did a real mess of that thing...

Yeah! Imagine what I'm capable of if i get tired of my mind! ;)

Yes, things are improving greatly now.

Last night, though, I had an awful time. I had strange phantom feelings which will drive me insane if it last for ever. After some investigation I discovered it was two things:

1) My urethra is much shorter than when I had a penis. One can actually sense the difference. When one have a penectomy, the brain 'forgets' about the penis' tissue. As some of the urethra remains, the brain does NOT re-wire the urethra because it is still there, but it does sense that it is shorter. Now you do 'miss' that part that is cut away. I remember having the same sensations after my penectomy, but it went away a day or two later. I guess I'll quickly get used to it.

2) The groin's skin's sensation are returning. That skin was totally numb since the lipo-suction. This feels weird. I feel little bubbles dancing under the groin's skin.

These two feelings together makes for weird phantom feelings. But it's much better now this morning. My brain will re-wire in a few days.

I must say that I am extremely glad that I went through this. I feel like a new person; smooth, clean, pure (sexually). I have some serious work sorting out my mind in order to become completely asexual.

Hope you have the courage to go through penectomy as well. The result is definitely worth it!

Peace...

Amazing pictures, thanks for providing them and updating us on your progress. I'm glad you've passed through this journey and are doing well. Interesting that you're a musician, I am too, play guitar. I wonder if there's a connection between artist types and these sexual struggles that push us toward asexuality? Hmmm? Well, thanks again and God bless.

P.S. Is picture #4, Post Op Penectomy, what you meant by "skin flap" in a previous blog?

Hash (imported) wrote: Sat May 07, 2011 7:49 pm Amazing pictures, thanks for providing them and updating us on your progress. I'm glad you've passed through this journey and are doing well. Interesting that you're a musician, I am too, play guitar. I wonder if there's a connection between artist types and these sexual struggles that push us toward asexuality? Hmmm? Well, thanks again and God bless.

P.S. Is picture #4, Post Op Penectomy, what you meant by "skin flap" in a previous blog?

Hi Hash,

1) I'm sure about 90- 95% of all musicians EVER were gay. I'm not sure about asexual though. Traditional musicians, mostly, struggled in life. Most musicians between 1500 and 1600 did music out of love for the art. They tought music for an income. There are those like J. Strauss who were the 'Michael Jackson' sort. They made a business out of music. So, the Mozarts were 'poor' and the Strausses were rich. I guess their women got were frustrated with their poor husbands and left them. Maybe they did not have enough money to pay the harem. Some composers also liked young boys (which the church condemned), so I guess the prospect of being asexual (sexual frustration & sexual guilt) looked very inviting. Who knows?

2) That 'skin flap' was a piece of the scrotum the surgeon for some reason did not remove. It was triangular in shape and irritated the hell out of me. It's gone now!

Regards

YodaNell (imported) wrote: Sat May 07, 2011 11:34 pm 1) I'm sure about 90- 95% of all musicians EVER were gay.

I'

d have to disagree with this. Is the rate higher than that of the general population? Almost certainly. But the overwhelming majority? I doubt it highly. I know far too many musicians who are either relatively normal straight guys, or outright abusive womanizers, for this to be the case. If you said 50% I probably would have stayed silent, though I don't think it's even half.

Even within the community of musicians, there are still segments that are intolerant. Why do you think it took Ricky Martin so long to come out of the closet, when I personally knew he was gay ten years earlier?

I'

hdlss_hrsmn (imported) wrote: Sun May 08, 2011 6:00 am d have to disagree with this. Is the rate higher than that of the general population? Almost certainly. But the overwhelming majority? I doubt it highly. I know far too many musicians who are either relatively normal straight guys, or outright abusive womanizers, for this to be the case. If you said 50% I probably would have stayed silent, though I don't think it's even half.

Even within the community of musicians, there are still segments that are intolerant. Why do you think it took Ricky Martin so long to come out of the closet, when I personally knew he was gay ten years earlier?

Hi, first of all I made a guess. I also talked about musicians from the 1800's back to 1500's. Most 'serious' musicians where employed by the rc church.

I just have to look here in SA and notice that MORE than the majority of organists are gay. Even most of the lecturers in the universities. The other night, one of our organ (Church Pipe Organ) maestro's gave a performance in St. Anne's here in Cape Town. Almost all the organist in the Western Cape attended. Most were gay.

Our military bands have fewer gays (although in the military being gay is generally kept to oneself). One band is predominantly gay and they don't hide it.

In MY experience, musicians (orchestral and church) are art musicians and are generally finer in nature. They are not all macho. There are womanizers (or rather party animals), but mostly in the orchestras.

Here in South Africa, gays are quickly getting out of the closet because of our gay rights. Gays are EVERYWHERE! I'm beginning to wonder if being straight is not unnatural.

Again, I'm definitely guessing at the numbers.

Hi folks, I just added some more pics to Tribe.

They are of my testes 'popping' and castration.

I will add more pics when I heal up more.

Later...

Thanks, wealth of information and pictures say it all. Your journey has almost ended and I pray you'll finally be at peace with yourself and with the Lord. One thing we know is that at the resurrection, believers will be "like angels" and angels are sexless, Matt. 22:23-32:

That same day the Sadducees, who say there is no resurrection, came to him with a question. "Teacher," they said, "Moses told us that if a man dies without having children, his brother must marry the widow and raise up offspring for him. Now there were seven brothers among us. The first one married and died, and since he had no children, he left his wife to his brother. The same thing happened to the second and third brother, right on down to the seventh. Finally, the woman died. Now then, at the resurrection, whose wife will she be of the seven, since all of them were married to her?" Jesus replied, "You are in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God. At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven. But about the resurrection of the dead—have you not read what God said to you, 'I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob'? He is not the God of the dead but of the living."

This picture (

YodaNell (imported) wrote: Fri May 06, 2011 7:34 pm http://people.tribe.net/f9e9a815-3213-4 ... 512b55642b

/photos/47e93055-af6f-473a-89de-dda4b571c09c) is made of pure win. (Not for the squemish though).

Yes, it's interesting how the corpus cavernosums filled in, I'm guessing the blood solidified. When I had my left testicle removed, I sliced it in half to see what it looked like on the inside. Didn't take any pictures back then, but it was weird looking, really weird looking, espcially knowing it was your own testicle.

Hash (imported) wrote: Tue May 10, 2011 7:46 pm Thanks, wealth of information and pictures say it all. Your journey has almost ended and I pray you'll finally be at peace with yourself and with the Lord. One thing we know is that at the resurrection, believers will be "like angels" and angels are sexless, Matt. 22:23-32:

That same day the Sadducees, who say there is no resurrection, came to him with a question. "Teacher," they said, "Moses told us that if a man dies without having children, his brother must marry the widow and raise up offspring for him. Now there were seven brothers among us. The first one married and died, and since he had no children, he left his wife to his brother. The same thing happened to the second and third brother, right on down to the seventh. Finally, the woman died. Now then, at the resurrection, whose wife will she be of the seven, since all of them were married to her?" Jesus replied, "You are in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God. At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven. But about the resurrection of the dead—have you not read what God said to you, 'I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob'? He is not the God of the dead but of the living."

Thanks Hash, yes, I know about the

Hash (imported) wrote: Wed May 11, 2011 5:09 am angels and that quote. The angels must be so pure.

Yes, it's interesting how the corpus cavernosums filled in, I'm guessing the blood solidified. When I had my left testicle removed, I sliced it in half to see what it looked like on the inside. Didn't take any pictures back then, but it was weird looking, really weird

looking, espcially knowing it was your own testicle.

It IS really weird to cut & slice parts of my penis. Just to think it was part of me. I have those pieces in a glass jar. It has shrinked considerably and is dark of color. Will display on Tribe soon.

My soul IS at peace. As I'm healing, things are starting to look much better! It's really fantastic to be a nullo.

Keep well...

There's a Yahoo Group called, "guyswithnodicks" and a nullo like yourself, named "thunderic2" said this when asked about his penectomy:

"It was all removed at once, although I went back in to get the inside of the penis removed down to the bulb. (They leave that cause it's too easy to damage the prostate if they try to take it out.)"

He's been a nullo for three years. I'm wondering if your surgeon left the penile bulb in you Yoda, but what do you need a prostate for if you no longer have a penis or testicles? I thought the prostate was necessary for erections and for supplying ejaculate fluid? Why not remove the prostate along with the penis?

O.K., here's what I found. There is no reason to keep the prostate if you are a nullo; castrated and penectomized. The prostate plays a role in sexual function and ejaculation, so if you no longer have a penis or testicles, there's no role or use for the prostate. It's also interesting that prostate cancer is stopped or stops advancing at least for awhile, if the testicles are removed. That's why the gold standard for years, in men with prostate cancer, is to cut off their testicles. Castration, which removes the majority of testosterone, prevents prostate cancer from advancing. So a nullo doesn't need it. Eunuchs who don't use HRT also lessen or greatly reduce their chances for prostate cancer because they're castrated. However, because the prostate withers/atrophies from the lack of testosterone, it's not essential to remove it, though every year thousands of prostates are either completely or partially removed. http://www.careflash.com/video/prostate-removal

Hash (imported) wrote: Wed May 11, 2011 7:38 pm There's a Yahoo Group called, "guyswithnodicks" and a nullo like yourself, named "thunderic2" said this when asked about his penectomy:

"It was all removed at once, although I went back in to get the inside of the penis removed down to the bulb. (They leave that cause it's too easy to damage the prostate if they try to take it out.)"

He's been a nullo for three years. I'm wondering if your surgeon left the penile bulb in you Yoda, but what do you need a prostate for if you no longer have a penis or testicles? I thought the prostate was necessary for erections and for supplying ejaculate fluid? Why not remove the prostate along with the penis?

O.K., here's what I found. There is no reason to keep the prostate if you are a nullo; castrated and penectomized. The prostate plays a role in sexual function and ejaculation, so if you no longer have a penis or testicles, there's no role or use for the prostate. It's also interesting that prostate cancer is stopped or stops advancing at least for awhile, if the testicles are removed. That's why the gold standard for years, in men with prostate cancer, is to cut off their testicles. Castration, which removes the majority of testosterone, prevents prostate cancer from advancing. So a nullo doesn't need it. Eunuchs who don't use HRT also lessen or greatly reduce their chances for prostate cancer because they're castrated. However, because the prostate withers/atrophies from the lack of testosterone, it's not essential to remove it, though every year thousands of prostates are either completely or partially removed. http://www.careflash.com/video/prostate-removal

Hello, my friend.

I agree with you. I already thought about removing my prostate, maybe next year.

That Yahoo group guy also had a problem with his first surgeon. He also needed a second op to repair things...he writes:

"...Yes, it was done all at once, but badly. I had to have a second surgeon clean up what the first did..."

The prostate has another function...sexual pleasure. I f I were to remove the prostate AND maybe my nipples, I'd be totally void of sexual feeling.

Do you agree?

Well, from my perspective, without testosterone or very little of it, I don't think much about sex and I'm not sexually minded. In fact, when I meet women now I don't look at them as sexual objects. Yesterday I met a beautiful woman and didn't think at all about her sexually. Everyone is different, but I use a low dose regimen of compounded testosterone. My testosterone level is usually around 120-130, higher than most women, but well below the normal range for men. The only thing that's remotely sexual is my desire to remove my penis. I want to have it removed and think about it almost daily. I believe that after castration the mind has no need for the penis or the rise of estrogen pushes the eunuch to remove the last vestige of his maleness. I suspect that I'll be a nullo soon, though I can't say when, I just don't feel as though I should have a penis, but unlike my castration compulsion, my penectomy desire is not as strong. I don't hate my penis, but it doesn't feel right to have it, it's as though I shouldn't have it or that it's wrong to have it. I prefer cutting it off quickly, rather than banding it, but it's the aftermath that prevents me from doing it. I'm not ready to go to the ER and deal with all of that stuff. As for my nipples, they've never been a part of my sexuality. Wish you continued happiness as you progress in your life. Stand firm and persevere.