EA Forums

Skimming through the comments this one stands out

How you feel is the point.

I had the knowledge that I would likely end up loosing one or both testicles at the age of 19. I was still a virgin at that point and I actually did not care that much. I actually asked the urologist to remove the right one when I was 20. She refused at the time due to my age and I think that was the right choice at the time. At 27 I ended up having the right one out anyway, but I was married with an 18month old son at that time.

Even though I had known for about 10 years at the time I had the right one out.... It was still a shock for some reason, I thought I would have been ready in my mind. I had massive body issues for about 18 months after. I really was in an odd place for a long time.

However, the left on I had out in 2010. I was 32, my wife had a radical hysterectomy, (ovaries, uterus and cervix) so not only had we been sexless for about 5 years at that point, she was completely sterile as well as being asexual. Thus, for so many reasons having the left testicle removed made sense. I did a lot of research and the archive did save me a lot of time there. I had a couple guys on here I contacted directly.

So. Waking up the next day after surgery I felt great. I got a TRT shot and felt amazing. The next 1 year was hell with trying to get the dosages figured out.

Now I am pretty good. I will be 38 this year. I have the TRT figured out as to what works for me (not chasing numbers) and I am finally good with what I am.

It is not automatic and it does take time. I did have a year long addiction to prescription benzodiazepine (they do give that out like candy in Japan) as well as sleeping pills. But I did manage to kill that off cold turkey. I have just passed 4 years without anything.

As is so often said on this site. "your milage will vary".

DerKastrierte (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 01, 2016 7:17 am TvK - nobody will be able to answer how YOU will feel after castration. Every indivdual reacts different. So, if you wanna go for a test chemical castration is an option indeed. You should try at least 6 months - maybe with Androcur - but with no other medication involved. Thereafter you should have at least an idea and the good thing is, it reversible. While taking, take good care of your liver! You will find Androcur threads here.

Good luck!

You are absolutely right, no one can tell me how I would feel. But that is not the question I've asked. I just wanted to know how common regrets afterwards are.

That can't tell me how it would be at me, but I think it's an interesting question which may give at least some kind of insight into how things CAN BE, not guaranteed they also WILL BE like that.

In my case nullification feels like the only way that can open a chance of leading a much better life than in the past. I simply don't feel male, but gender neutral. My brain always tells me I'm neutral, but my male body parts are contrary to that. So it seems to be necessary to remove them, as I seem to be not able to solve this struggle while living with these parts. At least that's what became clear in the past 20 to 25 years. I've done a lot of thinking during this time, but the results were always the same.

The greatest current problem is that I simply don't know how to become a nullo in a safe way and also get it done professionally with an aesthetic convincing result.

The point I was trying to make is that even if you think it is what you want and you think you are ready in your mind the reality is always different.

I personally do not believe in regret. However I wish I had had more information and better support/ doctors and been more of an aggressive advocate for myself

Personally, I believe that nothing is more ridiculous than saying, "I know how you feel."

No, you don't.

The subject of said feelings is irrelevant. Only YOU know how YOU feel.

T van Keel wrote: Sat Apr 02, 2016 7:43 am The greatest current problem is that I simply don't know how to become a nullo in a safe way and also get it done professionally with an aesthetic convincing result.

1. Get a therapist letter of support. Though I don't know how you would go about this in Germany, but I suspect there is a way as you surely have transgendered folks in Germany getting these letters.

2. Find a willing surgeon. You may have to travel to the US, but we have surgeons here willing to nullify men after they get that letter of support.

3. If you're not independently wealthy, save some money. You'll likely have to cash pay the surgeon, I'm guessing something around $20,000 US, EUR 17,500. Plus the expenses associated with staying in the US near your surgeon for a week or two and travel to the US.

T van Keel wrote: Sat Apr 02, 2016 7:43 am You are absolutely right, no one can tell me how I would feel. But that is not the question I've asked. I just wanted to know how common regrets afterwards are.

That can't tell me how it would be at me, but I think it's an interesting question which may give at least some kind of insight into how things CAN BE, not guaranteed they also WILL BE like that.

I can honestly say that I have ABSOLUTELY NO REGRETS AT ALL, but that said, not everyone will feel as I do. My castration was due to severe pain after a vasectomy which I fought for many years before finally deciding that Castration was the right way for me to go. Post castration, just over 2 years ago, my only regret is that I didn't have it done years ago.

Had I known what I know now and had it been possible, I would have been castrated back in 1998 instead of having a vasectomy.

I would say that my regrets are very closely linked to the low T depression that I've been dealing with off and on since my orchi in October. I've been trying to avoid going on TRT, but am realizing that my very will to live may require me to go on TRT. When you are falling down into a bottomless black pit, it is hard to be enthusiastic and happy about the decision that led to your fall.

Just recently went back on E in order to pull myself out of the pit. It seems to be working. Will probably be contacting my doctor next week to go on TRT.

Hopper,

I finally gave in and went on TRT after almost 2.5 years and it is ok as some of the results have remained or at least remained diminished but most of the really bad effects are gone and I feel great! TRT is not the same as the real stuff which is good for me! In stating this I still have NO REAL REGRETS at all.

PM me any time.

A longer time ago I thougt it would be absolutely necessary for me to be without T. But as time went by, my mind changed a bit and now I recognized that it is mostly the male parts that cause my problems and not so much the T. So I think I wouldn't be against TRT, or maybe even need it.

Losethem (imported) wrote: Sat Apr 02, 2016 4:09 pm 1. Get a therapist letter of support. Though I don't know how you would go about this in Germany, but I suspect there is a way as you surely have transgendered folks in Germany getting these letters.

2. Find a willing surgeon. You may have to travel to the US, but we have surgeons here willing to nullify men after they get that letter of support.

3. If you're not independently wealthy, save some money. You'll likely have to cash pay the surgeon, I'm guessing something around $20,000 US, EUR 17,500. Plus the expenses associated with staying in the US near your surgeon for a week or two and travel to the US.

Thank you. This general way is not unknown, but there are some issues that make it difficult:

1. I try to get a letter of support since October 2013, but my therapist is not willing to write anything so far. Yes, we have transgendered people here in Germany, and many of them get their reassignment surgery already being only 18 to 20 years old. But from the view of the currently applied standards of care I am not transgender, because I am wether MtF nor FtM, but MtE. And MtE isn't covered by any applied form of treatment, so it is really difficult here.

And pretending I'm MtF wouldn't make any sense, as any therapist would discover it is not true and furthermore I don't want any kind of feminization.

2. Finding a surgeon might be possible here. But currently this is step two.

3. Money is a big problem. In the upcoming 5 to 10 years it is absolutely impossible for me to save so much money. Normal life must go on and costs a lot of money, too. So my big hope is that I will be accepted as a special form of transgender, as this could open the way for being covered by public health insurance.

By the way, I don't know why surgeries are so expensive. 17500 EUR equals almost 4 monthly brutto wages, but a surgery takes only some hours!

Exactly, on the one hand you know what you feel like and what you are. On the other hand you would like to get insights into possible regrets, while you know that for you personally everything could be completely different than others have experienced. I can understand your trouble perfectly, but as I wrote before you only will know when you are done and I'm totally aware of the fact that this can be too late.

T van Keel wrote: Sat Apr 02, 2016 7:43 am You are absolutely right, no one can tell me how I would feel. But that is not the question I've asked. I just wanted to know how common regrets afterwards are.

That can't tell me how it would be at me, but I think it's an interesting question which may give at least some kind of insight into how things CAN BE, not guaranteed they also WILL BE like that.

In my case nullification feels like the only way that can open a chance of leading a much better life than in the past. I simply don't feel male, but gender neutral. My brain always tells me I'm neutral, but my male body parts are contrary to that. So it seems to be necessary to remove them, as I seem to be not able to solve this struggle while living with these parts. At least that's what became clear in the past 20 to 25 years. I've done a lot of thinking during this time, but the results were always the same.

The greatest current problem is that I simply don't know how to become a nullo in a safe way and also get it done professionally with an aesthetic convincing result.

Here's a story about a guy who probably regrets not being castrated.

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/nationa ... -1.2584416

Another life destroyed by sex.

DerKastrierte (imported) wrote: Sun Apr 03, 2016 6:17 am Exactly, on the one hand you know what you feel like and what you are. On the other hand you would like to get insights into possible regrets, while you know that for you personally everything could be completely different than others have experienced. I can understand your trouble perfectly, but as I wrote before you only will know when you are done and I'm totally aware of the fact that this can be too late.

Ri

Atreyu69 (imported) wrote: Sun Apr 03, 2016 10:27 am ght, but nevertheless people like you go for castration

Here's a story about a guy who probably regrets not being castrated.

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/nationa ... ck-turner-

guilty-rape-article-1.2584416

Another life destroyed by sex.

Hmm, I just can't see what rape has to do with my question. Furthermore, I can't find any word of regret in that article.

I do not regret being castrated. I wish i had had a penectomy done before i was castrated, and then castrated a few years later. Still wanting to have that done, and staying on HRT. Just need to convince the wife.

Exactly! Once it's done I can let you know if I regret. If I do, I'm quite optimistic I can adjust things with HRT. Physically I definitely won't miss my balls.

Right, but nevertheless people like you go for castration

T van Keel wrote: Sun Apr 03, 2016 11:16 am Hmm, I just can't see what rape has to do with my question. Furthermore, I can't find any word of regret in that article.

I'm on a chemical castration med called depo lupron that has essentially gotten rid of my sex drive and I'm quite fine with it. I'm in a position where i will probably never have enough money for a physical castration but with the depo i don't really think about it anymore. so all in all for the 5 or 6 months ive been on the depo lupron i havn't regretted starting it at all without my sex drive i no longer feel the need to be nullified

I've made some kind of evaluation across the answers in this thread. The result seems to be that about 88 % do not have regrets about being castrated. That is quite impressive, knowing this is just a snapshot - and tells nothing about how it would be at me.

Recently I had a meeting with an other therapist, but there is still no big hope to get a letter of support if one is MtE like me. It still seems to be more or less impossible here in Germany.

There may be a problem with the results and responses here. Perhaps many not happy with the results, drop out on the site. Those pleased with the results and have no regrets might still want to stay connected. There is no way of knowing who is still online.

True, that's a possibility. But I tend to think a majority is actually happy with the results as a castration normally is considered very thoroughly.

micdavi24 (imported) wrote: Sat Apr 02, 2016 7:36 pm My castration was due to severe pain after a vasectomy which I fought for many years before finally deciding that Castration was the right way for me to go. Post castration, just over 2 years ago, my only regret is that I didn't have it done years ago.

That's actually what caused my problems that lead me down this road.

experiment (imported) wrote: Wed Apr 06, 2016 10:26 pm There may be a problem with the results and responses here. Perhaps many not happy with the results, drop out on the site. Those pleased with the results and have no regrets might still want to stay connected. There is no way of knowing who is still online.

You're exactly right.

Hi

I don't have much to add other than I do have regrets, I should have been done at 40 not in my 60s. I think with the experience of castration for the last 18 months I really would have been better off

I have been for almost 3 years be three years next month and have no regrets!

Still happy being a eunuch, in fact happier now that I have healed up more. Onwards and upwards! But not the erections up I mean!

One point I'd like to make about regrets. I state in my bio that I've been trying to castrate myself since I was 13. While that is completely true, I should also point out that that I had trying NOT to castrate myself for just as long. Every few years though I would get strong urges, come to EA, try to castrate my self, and then once I wasn't able to I'd be fine for another few years. I'm not sure if I ever expected to really be able to castrate myself. The issue I faced was CaCl made it so easy to self castrate that I was able to actually go ahead and do it. Something to consider if you are looking to avoid regrets.

hopper44 (imported) wrote: Wed Jul 20, 2016 9:23 pm One point I'd like to make about regrets. I state in my bio that I've been trying to castrate myself since I was 13. While that is completely true, I should also point out that that I had trying NOT to castrate myself for just as long. Every few years though I would get strong urges, come to EA, try to castrate my self, and then once I wasn't able to I'd be fine for another few years. I'm not sure if I ever expected to really be able to castrate myself. The issue I faced was CaCl made it so easy to self castrate that I was able to actually go ahead and do it. Something to consider if you are looking to avoid regrets.

If you have some urges to castrate yourself to that extent wouldn't it be a good idea to have a consultation with the doctor in America who does an informed consent only castration? His prices are really low considering he has many years of medical knowledge and experience along with a team in a surgical room in case things go wrong.