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Yeah, self medication is necessary if one is young and wants to take immediate action against the menace that is Testosterone.

If nobody helps me, I can just keep self medding. If self medding becomes illegal, the darknet exists and will sell estrogen and cypro (if I even have balls when or if that happens).

The self diagnosis bit is laughable. Do you really think someone would take HRT for so many years, and want to be a girl their entire life, without being transgender? Turns out my self diagnosis was spot on btw, according to my therapist.

How am I sabotaging my care plan by being willing to take the meds they are willing to offer? That sounds more like "helping someone quit self medication" than "this person will sabotage everything and make me lose my job"

I may not have been clear enough, so I will say it again:

Literally no doctor on this planet would hear about my plan to continue self medication should they deny me meds. They deny meds, I quit seeing them, and they are none the wiser. They also wouldn't hear about my plan to check my hormone levels from their meds against accepted ranges for transgender people in medical literature. They don't even know that all I have to do is go see Arnkoff or get a letter from my therapist (easy) and I will have no more balls. That's the end of my physical transition, after which getting estrogen prescribed will be a joke. My desire to remove my penis is from sexual abuse. I don't want SRS due to the difficulty and expense of the procedure, the lifelong maintenance, the huge gamble on good results. Ive seen enough results to know that most likely I would wind up with something that I couldnt see as a real vagina, and that many would see as, at best, a mutilated one. I did originally want it, until I looked very deep into it over the course of years. Maybe stem cell lab grown sex organs will be a thing in my lifetime. That I would go for.

If you knew more about young MtFs, you would know many of us reach our true goals without ever seeing a doctor about it. I can reach my goals without worrying about gatekeeping. I already have reached my most important goal: saving my body from destruction. If you were one of us, you would understand, that when it comes to our bodies, we (young MtFs) don't f*** around and let cis people delay us (which they are extremely prone to do).

Of all people the eunuch community should understand the need for body sovereignty. Anyone should be able to ask for estrogen and castration and receive it. If they wind up not wanting it later, too bad. That's how things should be. Professionals are on a hunt for cis people who accidentally fell into trans things... a very preposterous thing which harms more than it helps.

Look man, you just don't see things from my perspective, and that's fine, I wouldn't expect you to. You can reply with counterargument if you like but I see no point really. You see things one way, I see them another, hopefully you at least understand I'd drop a doctor without them risking a single thing. If not, I don't really care to try convincing you. I know from first hand experience, that even having a gun held to one's head can't convince a person of something. Words can't do it either. If one is rooted in their beliefs firmly enough, nothing will uproot them. No point in further discussion on the matter, no hard feelings, just do you and I'll do me.

Many doctors have tried to convince me to stop, in person. All have failed, and it never matters if I succeed with one. It would be nice to get their assistance, but I don't need it ultimately. A nurse on a forum is not going to sway my thoughts on this stuff, when a doctor can't even do it in person, no offense meant.

It seems to me that most of the serious members of this forum are either self medicating (or have been), or are having / had to find doctors away from the medical mainstream who are willing to assist them in achieving their goals.

If everyone had taken 'no' for an answer I don't think that there would be very many 'fully qualified members' here!

Anyway, please feel to correct me if I'm wrong. I'm not going to get into an argument, I have nothing but love and best wishes for everyone...

Now, where can I find a doctor willing to replace my legs with a very large spring?!!

I for one have self medicated trialing chemical castration before being castrated , it was the only option available to me as a male not wanting to change gender, I did not want on my medical record any mention of it, for possible future employment, insurance, medical reasons i might face etc. Especially as at that stage I wasn't one hundred per cent sure it was what I wanted,

Not all things remain private with hackers and leaks of information and now the possible sale of medical information to insurance providers here in the UK. Also I would not have been given it and would probably been referred as having some mental problem, would I want that on my notes for life, no thank you.

Since being castrated I am also more or less self medicating, I have been given a prescription for testosterone and more or less told to get on with it, in fact I was told by my GP to be pro-active in my treatment he more or less has washed his hands of it . I am only one of 3000 patients in his practise here in London so he does not have the time or expertise to follow up every thing. I think i know more about it than him anyway but then that is not surprising why would he.

I just got back from my doctor.

She's fine with me self medding cypro until I get an orchi. She put it in her records she advises against it. Orchi will have to be out of pocket. $6000 locally (yikes) so it's Arnkoff for sure. Just gotta save up or find other ways to pay. Being trans is officially in my medical record now.

So Losethem, it turns out some doctors are totally accepting and willing to work with me knowing everything. Pretty good news I think. None of this existed when I began self medding years ago.

I need to go to a clinic and get my bloodwork done, which she ordered and which I'll do tomorrow. Then she will prescribe me estrogen assuming my organs are functional, lol. Judging from the extensive bloodwork and urine testing done when I went to the ER, they probably still are.

Yippy Skippy I'm a happy camper.

Tibergrace (imported) wrote: Fri Jan 05, 2018 9:23 am I just got back from my doctor.

She's fine with me self medding cypro until I get an orchi. She put it in her records she advises against it. Orchi will have to be out of pocket. $6000 locally (yikes) so it's Arnkoff for sure. Just gotta save up or find other ways to pay. Being trans is officially in my medical record now.

So Losethem, it turns out some doctors are totally accepting and willing to work with me knowing everything. Pretty good news I think. None of this existed when I began self medding years ago.

I need to go to a clinic and get my bloodwork done, which she ordered and which I'll do tomorrow. Then she will prescribe me estrogen assuming my organs are functional, lol. Judging from the extensive bloodwork and urine testing done when I went to the ER, they probably still are.

Yippy Skippy I'm a happy camper.

That's fantastic news, I'm very happy for you.

x

Tibergrace (imported) wrote: Fri Jan 05, 2018 9:23 am I just got back from my doctor.

She's fine with me self medding cypro until I get an orchi. She put it in her records she advises against it. Orchi will have to be out of pocket. $6000 locally (yikes) so it's Arnkoff for sure. Just gotta save up or find other ways to pay. Being trans is officially in my medical record now.

So Losethem, it turns out some doctors are totally accepting and willing to work with me knowing everything. Pretty good news I think. None of this existed when I began self medding years ago.

You do understand my objection was self-medication without doctors knowledge. In your case, you've notified the physician, and they can take it into account in the care plan. The idea being that if you are self medicating with whatever chemical/drug, they need to know. That way they do not prescribe you something for this condition or another, that would potentially cause you serious illness or death. It's quite easy to get a cross-conflict in drugs/chemicals/medications, if you're not up front and honest with them, which can do you serious harm.

Frankly in your case, since the doctor knows, so long as you continue to notify them of any changes in what you're doing, i'm not going to have a lot of disagreement with it. It's the self medication without knowledge of the physician I find problematic.

So on this point, good on you. It's the right thing.

Question for Losethem,

I've just spent a few hours reading through older posts on the forum. At every stage of your transition to nullo has it been fully medically supervised and through 'regular' medical channels? No DIY meds or docs that don't require letters?

I didn't know that was even possible.

It would explain why I've received a more positive reaction from my GP and therapist than I was expecting.

Losethem (imported) wrote: Fri Jan 05, 2018 9:31 am You do understand my objection was self-medication without doctors knowledge. In your case, you've notified the physician, and they can take it into account in the care plan. The idea being that if you are self medicating with whatever chemical/drug, they need to know. That way they do not prescribe you something for this condition or another, that would potentially cause you serious illness or death. It's quite easy to get a cross-conflict in drugs/chemicals/medications, if you're not up front and honest with them, which can do you serious harm.

Frankly in your case, since the doctor knows, so long as you continue to notify them of any changes in what you're doing, i'm not going to have a lot of disagreement with it. It's the self medication without knowledge of the physician I find problematic.

So on this point, good on you. It's the right thing.

You seem to have misread my posts. I explicitly stated I inform doctors of my self medication. If they didn't want to help with hormones I moved on to the next doctor. If I'm not seeing them for trans related things, I tell them what medications I take and if they ask I say I am self medding. If they tell me not to, I tell them "I don't care lol" and "let's move on and treat me for whatever medical concern I'm actually here for." They then treat me for whatever I'm there for because they had their opportunity to record it. What I don't do is tell them I am transgender, as that is none of their concern.

Maybe I could have been more clear, I thought I was pretty clear about things. I'll say it again: I inform all doctors of my self medication.

It should have been clear from my previous posts.

Not a single doctor goes without knowing I take 12.5mg cyproterone acetate every other day and 2mg estradiol validate every 12 hours.

I don't want drug interactions.

I don't tell them I am trans unless I am there for trans related things, since that is not important info.

In the U.S. the cost of SRS is now being covered by the U.S. military and the Medicare program for senior citizens and persons who can no longer be employed because of a disability. This social advancement is driving some people nuts, no pun intended.

Hyperion92 (imported) wrote: Sun Dec 31, 2017 11:14 am Good evening. I have seen references to Dr. Ankoff . on many posts on this site but am wondering if anyone knows of a doctor in the North East of the USA who is well regarded for performing bilateral orchiectomy in or near New England. Thank you very much for any input.

Going back to your original question. Being from the UK I'm not in a position to know what's available in your part of the world, but I get the impression that if you're not going to seek professional help then Dr Ankoff is probably your best option. Have you considered talking to your GP about this? If you're referred to a gender therapist and can get the necessary letters then I think you'll find you have a lot more options.

I totally understand why you might be nervous about doing this, it's taken me until I'm 46 to start dealing with my gender identity issues, frankly because I've been too scared to seek help. It's a big thing to do. It was only when I reached crisis point (drinking a bottle of vodka a day) and my doctor asked me what the problem was, that I finally talked to her about it. It's beginning to look like it's the best thing I've ever done, and my only regret is that I didn't have the courage to speak up years ago.

Losethem (imported) wrote: Fri Jan 05, 2018 9:31 am You do understand my objection was self-medication without doctors knowledge. In your case, you've notified the physician, and they can take it into account in the care plan. The idea being that if you are self medicating with whatever chemical/drug, they need to know. That way they do not prescribe you something for this condition or another, that would potentially cause you serious illness or death. It's quite easy to get a cross-conflict in drugs/chemicals/medications, if you're not up front and honest with them, which can do you serious harm.

Frankly in your case, since the doctor knows, so long as you continue to notify them of any changes in what you're doing, i'm not going to have a lot of disagreement with it. It's the self medication without knowledge of the physician I find problematic.

So on this point, good on you. It's the right thing.

I think most people on here if they are at the self medication phase are bright enough to realise that certain drugs don't mix well with others, by the time most take some sort of hormone or anti -hormone drug they have read everything there is to know and in my case i would certainly have been more knowledgeable than my own doctor, the assumption that people in the medical field know everything about everything is quite frankly wrong.

You may know about it because it is of particular interest to you but my own GP has far less knowledge than me as he is a general practitioner and i am the only patient he has ever had without both testicles even in a city as large as London, it is rare even amongst those with testicular cancer, most get it in one testicle not both, I know as he told me that i am the only one and he has been practising as a doctor for forty years. Self medication is the only way a lot of men who are not changing gender can trial androcur etc, not all of us want things on our medical records forever. Also the assumption you put across is that we take this step lightly without investigating it before we do, wrong on both counts with me.

It's easier here in the more conservative (sic!) part of Europe, i.e. Baltics. I've found a couple of doctors willing to prescribe me antiandrogens. Thus, I think it is not so much an ignorance of the trans matter, but rather the stupidity prevalent in the West nowadays, that high sex drive and lots of sex are somehow the ultimate good thing.

lightening (imported) wrote: Sat Jan 06, 2018 9:09 pm I think most people on here if they are at the self medication phase are bright enough to realise that certain drugs don't mix well with others, by the time most take some sort of hormone or anti -hormone drug they have read everything there is to know and in my case i would certainly have been more knowledgeable than my own doctor, the assumption that people in the medical field know everything about everything is quite frankly wrong.

You may know about it because it is of particular interest to you but my own GP has far less knowledge than me as he is a general practitioner and i am the only patient he has ever had without both testicles even in a city as large as London, it is rare even amongst those with testicular cancer, most get it in one testicle not both, I know as he told me that i am the only one and he has been practising as a doctor for forty years. Self medication is the only way a lot of men who are not changing gender can trial androcur etc, not all of us want things on our medical records forever. Also the assumption you put across is that we take this step lightly without investigating it before we do, wrong on both counts with me.

I guess that if you think that castration is right for you, then you have to be prepared for resistance and lack of understanding from some members of the medical profession. It never does any harm to get a second opinion (or third, fourth, etc..!), and if you can find doctors who are prepared to work with you, then it can't be a bad thing. Though of course for some this can prove to be very difficult.

But I think you have to be pragmatic and keep an open mind. If every doctor you see tells you that you shouldn't be doing this because you have say a heart condition, or whatever, then it's most likely in your best interests to listen to them. If on the other hand they simply have a moral objection, or think that they know the best way for you to live your life, then it makes sense to either keep looking or take matters into your own hands. Just be very careful, and if you f**k things up then you've only got yourself to blame..!

Anyway, I saw this quote somewhere and I rather like it...

"Sometimes the people around you won't understand your journey. They don't need to, it's not for them."

Thank you to all. Zebedee, I think you are right. Having another opinion may not hurt. I think if i am to make any progress, then at least consulting my doctor would be constructive. I get the sense he would not immediately brush aside my case as he is a very reasonable person. I guess what I am saying is that I should start by using the resources available to me and see where I get from there.

Have you considered chemical castration first? You make no mention of it, and going straight for surgical castration without a 'trial run' is risky to say the least. You may like not having balls and no sex drive, but what other side effects will you have to cope with? People's experiences seem to vary a lot. If you're unlucky you may find that you put on weight, have unbearable hot flashes, barely have the energy to get out of bed, and develop an overwhelming urge to watch every movie ever made starring Jennifer Aniston... This is serious stuff, could you cope with it? She's been in some terrible films!

Also, don't forget that those still posting on here who went straight for the surgical option, are most likely the ones who it worked out for. Although I only recently joined the forum I've been lurking around here for years, and there seems to have been quite a few members who not long after castration disappear, never to be heard from again. Hopefully it worked out for them and they are living happy lives, and they haven't gone on to develop an unhealthy interest in lengths of rope and wobbly chairs.

I do understand where you're coming from, a few years ago I was seriously considering the surgical option. At the time I think a Dr Spector in Philadelphia (or something like that) was offering the service. I had the money and a friend lined up who was prepared to come with me, but in the end I was crippled by indecision. It could have been the best thing I ever did, or the worst decision of my life. I don't know why I didn't consider trying chemical castration at the time, I guess that I just didn't know much about it or how effective it can be. Anyway, I've now decided that I'm going to give it a go and if it's right for me I will consider surgery, but only after a year or two of full time chemical castration. It may be that it's enough and I don't need to take things any further. If it's not for me then at least I didn't do something which is irreversible. Of course long term chemical castration can cause damage to testicles, but I'm not going to be staying on it if I don't like its effects.