EA Forums

myra (imported) wrote: Wed May 10, 2006 12:01 am 2% of world population is asexual. There is no specific reason for them to be asexual, as there is no reason for someone to be gay. They just are.

What is your source for this statistic? Ties in with my interests in reading and researching. Curious minds want to know.

pinquita (imported) wrote: Tue May 09, 2006 4:20 am Budleybear. I understand what you say. Are you an eunuch by choice?? or are you a eunuch by reasons of physicall condition?

If a person decides to be asexual by choice, that is perfectly ok. But is has to be achieved by mastering your body, and controlling yourself.

There is no need to castrate and or mutilate your body to achieve that goal. To do that would be the equivalent of saying, I am a good person, because I have a 24 / 7 body guard that keeps me out of trouble. By castrating yourself you take away choice, and you have that " body guard " in place 24 / 7 .

In my case, It hurts to know, beautifull women that I could meet, the woman that could be my companion for life, that posibility is been taken away from me. Choice is choice. Corraled or forced to a line of thought is not a choice.

Look, pinquita,

Being judgmental is one step away from exertion of control or the attempt thereof.

I am convinced that you feel sorry in this way for yourself. It is unfortunate that you feel as you do, and perhaps you DO need to seek counseling to help you to work out these feelings.

There is absolutely NO reason why you cannot find a beautiful woman who you will be happy with for the rest of your life, and your self-esteem needs bolstering because you need to realize that there are people in this life who are MUCH worse off than any of us here.

There is nothing wrong with you. You may be different than others but you are not better or worse, you are just different. IT's the DNA idea, you know? You need to have a little FAITH and realize that there is a power higher than you and that that power is benevolent in all ways.

Help yourself. We are doing all that we can do.

A-1

...

A-1 (imported) wrote: Wed May 10, 2006 9:06 pm Being judgmental is one step away from exertion of control or the attempt thereof....

Another, in my opinion, "heap powerful" insightful comment on this web site. Wow. You guys are really causing me to think about things in new ways. Thanks!

Pinq.:

A few things I'd like to know -

If you're 36, as your profile states, why can't you do anything about the eunuchoidism issue? Other than fertility, replacement hormones can solve the issues, with the exception of reversing any long bone growth you already have. Unless you're like me, and your body has a problem with HRT, then get some. The main reason I won't use it is the anxiety and temper issue. If I had a full count of T., I'd be in prison or dead - one or the other.

If cost or lack of insurance is a factor, I've found the simply way to come up with a couple hundred bucks is simply not pay a few bills on time. When the collectors call, just tell them to come and get whatever you're paying on, offer to deliver it in person. I'm two months behind on my truck payments. It worked with them; they shut up fast when I offered to deliver it. It also freed up about $340 real quick that month or two.

As I read your posts, I am still lost on your problem...or did I miss it somehow? That's entirely possible, with all the chaos being created around here with all the ambient testosterone floating around in the air from the 3 of 5 boys that are around here and in puberty. Sometimes it's like a burning incense stick, it's so bad.

But back to your problem, can it be corrected? If not, then why? Please tell us more so that we can attempt to give you some good advice. Certainly, as A-1 points out, there are those out there worse off, and those here who can probably help.

Pinq.:

Paolo wrote: Wed May 10, 2006 10:43 pm A few things I'd like to know -

If you're 36, as your profile states, why can't you do anything about the eunuchoidism issue? Other than fertility, replacement hormones can solve the issues, with the exception of reversing any long bone growth you already have. Unless you're like me, and your body has a problem with HRT, then get some. The main reason I won't use it is the anxiety and temper issue. If I had a full count of T., I'd be in prison or dead - one or the other.

If cost or lack of insurance is a factor, I've found the simply way to come up with a couple hundred bucks is simply not pay a few bills on time. When the collectors call, just tell them to come and get whatever you're paying on, offer to deliver it in person. I'm two months behind on my truck payments. It worked with them; they shut up fast when I offered to deliver it. It also freed up about $340 real quick that month or two.

As I read your posts, I am still lost on your problem...or did I miss it somehow? That's entirely possible, with all the chaos being created around here with all the ambient testosterone floating around in the air from the 3 of 5 boys that are around here and in puberty. Sometimes it's like a burning incense stick, it's so bad.

But back to your problem, can it be corrected? If not, then why? Please tell us more so that we can attempt to give you some good advice. Certainly, as A-1 points out, there are those out there worse off, and those here who can probably help.

Paolo. There is nothing that can be done past the age of 17 to 19. Read this article.

http://www.britannica.com/eb/article-75 ... elayed&ct=



I will wait untill you read it. It will help undertand this issue better.

Thanks>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

A-1 (imported) wrote: Wed May 10, 2006 9:06 pm You need to have a little FAITH and realize that there is a power higher than you and that that power is benevolent in all ways.

Help yourself. We are doing all that we can do.

A-1

thanks for your words A1....my confusion starts when I think of a higher power. What I went through in this life, was more than humilliating, it is hard to believe that a higher power would do such to anyone. My life, my outlook on life could had been drastically changed, by sexual preference could had been altered. I remained straight in my outlook ( I respect every and all people, I am not anti nothing, do not get me wrong, just describing my case).. but I could had easily gone another direction, I could had been raped, I could had been swayed into anything that I was not, and, you know what??? the enemy was withing me, it was seeded inside me, becasue the insecurity I had , compounded by facts, my ambiguous body, was eating my soul away like cancer.....it would be hard to understand, I guess, unless gone through.

It is hard to believe a higher power would do something this ...disgusting....but....I guess that is my only hope, that there is a higher power that planed this for me.

At the same time, my experience has made me doubt everything, becasue if we are the direct result of our bodies performence, then, is our fate sealed??? and is it is...what is the purpose of going through a life that has a paved road planned???

where is this boat taking me....because I can not steer it.....

...

pinquita (imported) wrote: Fri May 12, 2006 4:03 pm it is hard to believe that a higher power would do such to anyone....

...the enemy was withing me, it was seeded inside me....

...It is hard to believe a higher power would do something this ...disgusting.....

...then, is our fate sealed???

...

pinquita (imported) wrote: Fri May 12, 2006 4:03 pm and is it is...what is the purpose of going through a life that has a paved road planned???

...where is this boat taking me....because I can not steer it....

Based on my experiences in life, and perhaps my learned-in-mid-life spiritual outlook, I definitely agree with A-1 when he wrote:

Originally Posted by A-1:

A-1 (imported) wrote: Wed May 10, 2006 9:06 pm You need to have a little FAITH and realize that there is a power higher than you and that that power is benevolent in all ways.

How you look at your lot in life will help establish the principles by which you make decisions. Of all of the creatures on this earth, humans are the ones blessed with "choice". At any given point in time you are likely NOT to know what your role in life is supposed to be; that role will be revealed to you when appropriate. For me, I am still learning, but I have been faced with several really serious decisions, and often wondered why God would "do this" to me, until I realized that I may not yet know what I am supposed to achieve here while in a physical inicarnation. But when I realized that maybe I am not supposed to yet know, I achieve an inner peace that is really hard to describe.

I am not saying that your conditions are trivial. The real issue is how you choose to look at your conditions. I believe that it is God's good grace to give us joy, happiness, and unbounded love (agape type love, not necessarily the same as carnal love).

Nothing says life is supposed to be easy, and each life is unique in its own way. Consider as an example Beethoven who, as you know, was a great classical composer and artist. He was totally deaf when he wrote his 9th Symphony, which is considered to be one of the greatest musical pieces ever written. There are many more examples, but hopefully you get the point. And so you do steer your own ship (even if you think otherwise) because you have choices to make along the way.

I am dangerously close to sounding "preachy", which is not my intention. I just offer a few words that may trigger you into reconsidering how you look at your situation. You can continue to think as you do, or change. You have choices to make along the journey that we call life.

I truly wish you well and hope that you find your inner peace, which is yours for the taking when you are ready to receive it.

BudleyBare (imported) wrote: Fri May 05, 2006 3:23 pm I truly do NOT mean this reply to be confrontational, but I simply do not nor cannot agree with this statement.

There are many things in life -- for me -- that are as beautiful, and in many cases even more beautiful. For instance, to see a well honed human body in its natural state is wonderful beyond words. And then there are some scenes, views or vistas of mother nature at work (e.g., some sunsets/sunrises in the area of the Philippine Islands, colorful fall folage in eastern Canada, a vista of the valley/volcano/Pacific ocean from my living room [sala], etc.) that can only convince one that there must be a higher power at work in our universe, or even the smile of an innocent, newborn baby, a genuine hug from a close friend, some selected musical interludes (consider Bach, Beethoven or Tchaikovsky), etc., etc.

I find beauty in a lot of things and places and feelings, not just one. But then, maybe you were just trying to emphasize a point. Again, please do not be offended by my response; you just hit a hot button with me.

Yes there are a lot of beautiful things in life, for me its holding one of my grandkids. I also think a marage with kids family the whole thing can be very beautiful indeed. Each of us will find something different as the most beautiful thing, we are all different. This holds true for our reasons for being castrated or wanting to be. Its not what we find beautiful its that we do.

River

Budley Bear well said cognisance of the higher power is the safest sandpoint to work from once acknowledged it seems to give a whole new meaning to life ie what we can do and what is best left undone

Dear Pinquita,

You said,

pinquita (imported) wrote: Fri May 12, 2006 4:03 pm where is this boat taking me....because I can not steer it...

That, my friend, is exactly the point. God or a higher power did not do anything to you. Things happen that have nothing to do with a Higher Power. Your misfortune is not the fault of anybody, least of all, you.

You cannot change what has happened, a higher power is not responsible, and the only thing left is to make the best of what you have. In life we are not made by what happens to us, rather our strength of character and our souls are FORGED by how we react to it.

If we are bitter and sour, we leave that essence in whomever we meet. If we live in misery, our misery is sufficient, and we must not pass it on to the world. We must not spread it. We must make sure that it stops with us.

It is the little things that you can do that make people happy. It is the small things that make large differences in our lives. The greatest burdens are made tolerable when we find that we possess the inner strength to ignore them and to do good to others.

I am sure that you will find your way. I am sure that you can be happy. Sex is but a small part of life, and it is a part that many do not have and that some do not even recognize as significant.

I do not want to minimize your situation, because it is very significant to you. What you must do is take the small, faultering steps down the road that minimizes it's impact on your existance. All the time, remember that when we trick ourselves into missing the most that which we do not or cannot have, we do ourselves and humanity a terrible injustice by depriving them of our good deeds because of our bitterness.

Life is glorious. It has so many aspects, that concentrating on one deprives us of a full existance.

Live well...my friend...

A-1

Hy Myra,

Hmmmm, well I know you've made comments about what an "asexual" is. But I'm wondering about you. I guess you lack drive and arousal. Can you think of a phychological reason for why that might be? It's hard sometimes to consider this, because you exist within yourself. But can you think of some influences in your upbringing which may have led to this? Or do you not feel any "pleasure" from your sexual components?

Men are different by design. We're designed to prowl and impregnate. But a lot of women are more into the "closeness" and intimacy that comes with sex, and that is what they value even over great orgasms.

You needn't answer but I ask because I'd like to explore a deeply intimate and loving relationship with a woman. But wonder if this is even possible without the dimension of sexual union.

Do you desire to marry? Have a child? Have a husband? Are you attracted to men in any way other than sexually? Would you be interested in a LTR or marriage with a eunuch? Why?

Before I answer your question Myra, I must address pinquita's post. I've been married (off and on) for thirty five years. I've had an asexual relationship with my wife for the last 20 years. We have a very LOVING relationship. To keep this short I won't go into the reasons.

Now on to my answer. Although I two came to eunuchism though no action of my own, but from a side effect of chemotherapy, It was a God send. I've struggled all my life with hypersex drive. If it moved I wanted to have sex with it. Being castrated has solved that problem. The emotional clam, empthyic veiw of life and being comfortable expressing my feminine side are just pluses.