TheWannabe (imported) wrote: Sun Mar 25, 2007 9:40 am
The Old Man: You have no idea how badly I would like to have or have had a girl friend (as in just a buddy). It's always been a dream of mine. Never happened.
And the thing about 50/50 sub/dom is absolutely not some sort of requirement. I would GLADLY accept a 100% submissive or 100% dominant girlfriend. But it's not happening.
I draw the line where I don't feel attracted to a girl. Maybe I'm being picky, but what the hell? I can't be together with a girl who I am not attracted to, can I? Many girls actually turn me off just by their terrible looks.
It should be noted that I have tried hitting on those as well. No luck.
Get rid of your libido as I suggested, so you won't be confused by lust. Then try talking to women, not as sex objects, but as people. You think men have it hard. Think about the women your age. They have poorer judgement about picking a man than thirteen year old girls do, as you can easily see if you look at who they date.
I suspect that part of your problem is that you haven't had enough female friends in your life. I have been blessed with two long-term (25-50 years) female friends who are much closer than any of my male friends. Don't forget that you need to be a good listener, not just ask questions, and listening isn't always easy. Hearing a friend describe being raped isn't easy. Neither is hearing about what has caused a divorce.
Note that close friends of the opposite sex are usually harder to find than girl friends or wives. I might have been able to turn either relationship into a sexual one, but I considered both far more valuable as friends than they would have been as lovers.
Another warning. Others are right to say that things will get easier for you, but you can't wait forever. Men rarely make new friends after age 35, and finding a new wife during in your fourties doesn't usually work out as well as hoped.