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ballsontheline (imported) wrote: Wed Apr 23, 2008 8:35 am I was 16 when I got my first real castration fantasy. I sucked a few cocks and then one day my mom told me that 13 year old Todd was telling people that I was a cock sucker. I told her that it wasn't true and she told me that I needed to have a talk with Todd. Later that night, my dad came home totally plastered. He was talking about me and I didn't get all of what he was saying. But he was talking about his hunting knife and he told my mom that he should cut off my nuts. I was both scared and excited at the same time. Then I heard him coming up the stairs. My mom got him to go back downstairs without even entering my bedroom. I jerked off twice and then after an hour, I went downstairs to go to the bathroom. My dad's huge hunting knife was laying on the table. I took the knife into the bathroom and put the sharp blade at the base of my nut sack. I put it back and then went up to bed. Two weeks went by with no talk of castration. Todd's cousin Stephen was 12. I had seen his big dick in the locker room at the pool. He had a nice dick and a growing bush of sex curls. I went into his locker and took his underwear so I could smell them. I kept them and asked Stephen if he wanted a blow job. I sucked him. He must have told Todd and Todd did some talking again. I was sleeping nude in my bed and my dad was at the town bar again getting drunk. He came home and entered the house through the back door. He came into my room, pulled my covers off, exposing my nudity, and then he grabbed my nuts. It was at that point that I woke up. He had me by the balls so I was helpless. My dad told me that his beer buddies had told him that I had sucked cock. I told him that it wasn't true. He had his knife on my balls during his question and my response. My mom heard something and came up. She calmed him down and got him downstairs.

The rest of the summer went by without any more incidents with my dad. The castration fantasy, however, was firmly established in my brain. September arrived and with it my school physical. The doctor found a hernia and scheduled surgery. He spoke to both my mom and my dad about exactly what was wrong and how he was going to repair it. One night, after my dad came home drunk, I heard him talking to my mom about my surgery. I heard him say: "Just one slip of the scalpel during the operation could castrate our son." Then he wondered aloud if the surgery would impact my cock or my balls or both.

I went into the hospital. The male nurse shaved off all of my pubic hairs. I had to hold my dick as he shaved me because I had an erection. I had the surgery and it went well. I went up to my room eventually. My dad was with me from the SICU up to my hospital room. Once we were alone, my dad lifted the sheets and my gown to reveal that I still had both my cock and my balls. My dad went out for a smoke and the doctor came in while he was out. The doctor looked at the scar and my penis and testicles. I asked him, " DOC, My penis looks even smaller than it did before the operation. I think my balls look smaller too. First, why are they so small to begin with and second, did this operation make them even smaller?" The doctor explained that there are a range of penis and testicle sizes on men. He assured me that the operation had not changed them in any way. I responded in frustration: "But Doc, my sex organs look more like a boy than they do a man. I only have 4 inches when I am totally hard" It was only then that I noticed that my dad had been listening to the entire conversation.

He came to my bedside with a huge grin. "I never knew you were so concerned about the size of your little pee pee. If your mother saw that shaved little thing she would be so surprised because your pee pee really hasn't grown that much since she was giving you a bath. I spoke to your best friend Kerry yesterday. He told me that you have sucked his cock on more than one occasion. I want it to stop. I don't believe that a cock sucker deserves a cock or balls."

I got through that year and went off to college. My dad and I didn't talk about the cock sucking. I dated some girls and the talk stopped because I was at college. I continued to fantasize about getting castrated. It got more intense when I was in NYC one weekend. I missed the bus back to the school and so I had to stay the night in the city. I was jerking off with a bondage magazine and a few other gay magazines. The guy started talking to me. He was a puertorican in his twenties. He got me to tell him my fantasies as he fed me his dick off and on. Then he asked me: "Do you want me to tie you up and have total control of tthat cute little penis and those boy balls?" I was so horny that I told him to tie me up. I had told him about the elastrator that I had just bought. Once I was tied up on all fours, he got out the bander and banded my nuts. He then put a gag in my mouth so that I could not yell for help. He was jerking my dick while he talked dirty to me. At one point he twhispered in my ear: "Should I let you keep your balls? Do you want to keep them? I bet you do. I think that I want something else. I think I will let those tender balls go. I want your penis instead." Just at that moment he grabbed my dick and put his knife at the base of my tiny manhood. Then he cut off the band that was on my nuts. 'Jerk off for the last time bitch. Once I cut off that little cock, your balls will churn with desire but you will have no way to get relief." I came with real intensity. He did untie me. I was hooked on the idea of penectomy as well as castration in my fasinations. I think that seriously, I want to have my balls cut off at some point. I have had the fantasies for over 20 years and I still have my cock and my balls.