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Wonder what it will be like after haveing them removed.

I am scared not but really serious about this.

I plan to be done in the next few months.

I am very serious about this and looking foward to this.

I hope that things work out well and all goes nice.

I am feeling a little scared about getting fat and things but have heard some guys like it and are very happy.

Guess losing the sex frive may help and I will learn how to control sexual impulses.

I am hopeing that I will be happy with no testicles and I will be able to function ok with non.

Also I wonder how HRT will do for me if required.

Androderm androgel depor t etc.

What doses I wonder are average for a younger guy like me in my ealry 20's?

I sure hope I make a good decision before it is too late

I am bring honest and have the funds saved now to be done.

Oh yea Kimmel does not keep record of patients sometimes but has thm sign the consents and all.

I wonder how this will work out for me?

I am not sure what to think about how I will feel after.

I will admit I am scared.

NON TG though at this time.

Wonder if I will end up in a puzzle factory or be unable to work and end up with disability for psychosis or some form of chronic depression or something.

I am scared what should I do I wonder.

Please anyone befroe it is too late and I cant turn back can you help with my procedure affects and what it is like after.

I need a week off then I guess?

Wonder why Dr;s have a ahrd time with RX of androgens.

I am scared please help me.

I want to be freidns and be supportinve to others.

Thanks so much!

its fairly clear you have doubts because you do I say DONT DO IT any doubts will quickly turn into self hate so again DON'T DO IT

Thanks very much!

I need to think about it. I am just a little butterflied it is a scarey thing to do I guess.

I just wonder what it will be like after is all.

I hope that I feel good.

I wonder if antidepressants will keep me from being depressed after?

I wonder the diffrnt things I can do to stay happy?

Thanks1

may172001 (imported) wrote: Thu Sep 29, 2005 4:31 am I need to think about it. I am just a little butterflied it is a scarey thing to do I guess.

I just wonder what it will be like after is all.

I hope that I feel good.

I wonder if antidepressants will keep me from being depressed after?

I wonder the diffrnt things I can do to stay happy?

As long as you're uncertain and concerned about whether chemicals can carry you through a period of depression following castration, why would you ever do it? Save your $. Continue to have fantasies.

I consulted with many docs over the years. While I can't say I was 100% certain I'd have the same quality of life in other respects afterward, I only went through with losing my balls because I knew that the discomfort and pain I felt in my crotch would be gone forever, and that's the way it's been.

Lets not get off track here. This is Philip's story... If you have an issue to discuss, please start another thread. Thanks...

decision made about my thread......it stays.

now a note:

This Eunuch thing is not fun its not easy and its not anything anyone should do just cause it sounds good. I am satisfied with the results but would I wish this on even an enemy HELL NO!! I know you may call that a regret but it isn't I'm just stating a fact. Mood swings suck because you never see them coming, hot flashes are getting REALLY old, and taking ten pills a night is for the birds. that said I would do it all over again in a HEART BEAT because I am now truly myself and I like me. I may have good and bad days and the bad ones may seem really bad but the good ones are always way better than the bad. and as many have witnessed I still have my temper but it is slower to reach boiling point.

Phil,

I think your thread is very important to EA and those considering castration. If you feel the need - or even don't want it to become - a "dear Abby" type thing, that is up to you. But I think what you are doing is very good and entirely relevant to the rest of us here.

Thanks.

Phil--

You may already have looked into this, and concluded that it doesn't work, but I thought I'd mention it, as I remember reading that some people had found it useful. A few years ago, I read several articles about alpha wave conditioning, as a way of modulating mood swings, shaping attitudes, and generally counteracting some less pleasant psychological phenomena. I really don't know much about brain wave conditioning, and perhaps someone with a background in psychology--Krister, for example--could tell you more about the conditioning process and whether it works or not. I would assume it is one of those things that works for some individuals and not for others, and perhaps psychological phenomena which are derived from hormone properties, aren't substantially affected by the conditioning process. If I recall correctly, you have to use an encephalograph until you learn to control the waves, and then asserting effective control just takes effort and concentration. I don't think the conditioning would do anything for hot flashes. I always had the impression that, for women, they usually fade out after a year or so. As I guess you know, there are a wide range of treatments for the flashes, some of which work for some people, some for others, and some people don't seem to get relief from anything for hot flashes.

Lonely eunuch,

Bubba left Sunday for Florida, he will be there for two weeks. I don't know how I will be able to stand being away from him but I must.

I am still having hotflashes but the are infrequent and fairly mild. Moodswings are less frequent too I think I may be leveling off (knock on wood). Bubba and I have been adopted by a little black dog named Lucy and we love her to bits so the being apart is not so bad.

BUBBA'S HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!

I am glad to say that. I missed him terribly I have him all to myself now I am so happy!!!!!

Think Lucy will have a bit of Bubba as well.

Wow, Phillip, that was an amazing post. Thanks you for sharing it. You're a brave person.

well were back

I am thankfull that Tal has saved the most important data for this site and that we can all take part in the rebuilding with new posts and threads.

now to a pertainant post

I can hardly beleive that almost a year ago I was castrated I am a totally different person compaired to the person I was before castration. I am happier I enjoy life more intimately and I give love more freely.

Yes there are draw backs but weighing the drawbacks and the benefits I am certain I made the right decission in becoming a eunuch.

I am Phil-Eunuch in the chatroom and I am willing to answer any questions you have

philip1 (imported) wrote: Fri Feb 17, 2006 7:58 am Yes there are draw backs but weighing the drawbacks and the benefits I am certain I made the right decission in becoming a eunuch.

Could you please elaborate on the draw backs? I find myself thinking more and more about finishing the job that began about six weeks ago (loss of one testicle during emergency surgery). At my age, sex is the far from my active thoughts, and I am learning from others about the eunuch calm and apparently more interest in relationships, etc. I do understand that everyone has different results and reactions; I am just curious what your draw backs were/are.

There are many drawbacks:

.Depression

.Heart disease

.Diabetes

.Osteoporosis

.Depression

.Hot Flashes

.Mood Swings

.Depression

.Being ostricised By family (I've been lucky here but not all are)

I mentioned Depression three times on purpose because it is the most dangerous

philip1 (imported) wrote: Fri Feb 17, 2006 11:29 am There are many drawbacks:

.Depression

.Heart disease

.Diabetes

.Osteoporosis

.Depression

.Hot Flashes

.Mood Swings

.Depression

.Being ostricised By family (I've been lucky here but not all are)

I mentioned Depression three times on purpose because it is the most dangerous

Wow!! Do you mean to say that becoming a eunuch causes things like heart disease, diabetes, etc. (as shown on your list), or that it would simiply increase the risk of getting them?

I have read about the significantly increased risk for osteoporosis. Also, I have already experienced some (very low grade, in my opnion) 'hot flashes' since I lost one nut. Things have stablized for the most part now, but we are watching my hormones closely via blood tests, and will continue to do so for a long time into the future, probably at least for a year.

I am not very familiar with depression. I hear a lot of people talk about it. Are there clinical indicators that help one identify depression? Also, I put 'mood swings' in the same category as depression, but that is because I don't know much about either one of them.

Apologies in advance for so many questions. This web site has become a very important resource for me (and I assume others). You've been there, and experienced it, and so you are a very credible information resource.

Thank you.

the heart disease and diabetes stem from the slowed metabolisim of eunuchs. so it is a contributing factor. osteoporosis happens to eunuchs just like it happens to post menupausal women. The drop in hormone levels removes the coding that tells the body to build up the bones and......

Mood swings are just that, one extreme to the other and they happen suddenly. Just like a 40-50 something woman

Depression is caused by many things and amplified by the huge drop in hormone levels. Depression is often (in my experience) the feeling of being worthless and that the world would not miss you. Everyone who has been castrated will tell you that depresion is a fact not a myth the sevarity differs but the fact that it happens is set in stone.

Repost of a lost entry by Phil in this thread:

Almost 45,000 views

I could never have immagined that this little thread could have grown to be so big. I am greatfull for the people that have helped me through the bad times. I know that there will be trials in the future and I am going to accept them head heald high. I am and will be for all of the future a eunuch. I am proud to have found out who I truly was ment to be . I am glad that this forum and the chatroom were able to help me find true love in Bubba. I thank you all and I will continue to post here for the forseeable future.

Phil glad to know u are through the experience the next part will be of interest to us all please let us know how u are and the detail that u are o good at it will give a true reflection on what is truely an life altering experience, which many of us crave and maybe are not as brave as you. Keep well do nothing to hinder your progress of getting well

philip1 (imported) wrote: Sat Feb 18, 2006 5:13 am the heart disease and diabetes stem from the slowed metabolisim of eunuchs......Mood swings are just that, one extreme to the other and they happen suddenly. Just like a 40-50 something woman....

Depression is caused by many things and amplified by the huge drop in hormone levels. Depression is often (in my experience) the feeling of being worthless and that the world would not miss you. Everyone who has been castrated will tell you that depresion is a fact not a myth the sevarity differs but the fact that it happens is set in stone.

My experience is that slowed metabolism, which occurs with aging in all organisms in any event, can be mitigated. Exercise! Eat less and more healthily. Castration is not necessarily a contributor to heart disease.

My own experience has not included depression.

I have nothing to add to this thread anymore so....................eh.

Hey Phil!! Please keep posting, even if it's just to let us know how you're feeling or any thoughts you have.

I think this 'diary' idea is truely wonderful; both for the diarist - being able to express feelings and thoughts which can often make a person feel better, and also to help others come to terms with the feelings and emotions.

It also helps people see traits that are common to people with whatever "this thing" is. Carefully re-reading your first entry (after starting my own diary) I noticed a few things which were almost identical (though worded differently!)

philip1 (imported) wrote: Tue Aug 03, 2004 3:26 pm Every night I prayed to God that I would wake up the next morning without my boy parts.

Originally Posted by thefraj

I would often pray I could go to sleep and wake up with them gone. No pain, no suffering

philip1 (imported) wrote: Tue Aug 03, 2004 3:26 pm Eighth grade I began to tuck my genitals between my legs I really loved looking down to see... nothing.

Originally Posted by thefraj

I often would telescope my penis, and - when a little older - would push my testicles into the canal.

philip1 (imported) wrote: Tue Aug 03, 2004 3:26 pm After high school I started to find ways to damage my genitals. At first it was a simple rubber band or two and wait till I could no longer stand the pain.

Originally Posted by thefraj

I'm not sure where the self-harm started ... At 16 and 17 it had developed into a sort of compulsion...And it became a secret ritual that would occur with no-one else around. Sometimes eroticised, sometimes not. I would try to find ways of removing my testicles, or pray that - somehow - it would work.

Anyway, please keep posting! Even if I don't write anything, I'm always reading carefully!

Last friday I had another fight with my mom she tried to tell me what a good man was and that I was not any of that.....I kind of stomped on her hard and told her I was greatly offended by her comments. she apologised and I have established boundries with her as to where she can and can't go in conversations.

Personally I don't care if people think I'm not a "man".

philip1 (imported) wrote: Tue Mar 07, 2006 6:22 am Last friday I had another fight with my mom she tried to tell me what a good man was and that I was not any of that.....I kind of stomped on her hard and told her I was greatly offended by her comments. she apologised and I have established boundries with her as to where she can and can't go in conversations.

Hi Philip:

I've been thinking a lot about this statement heard often at work. "Be a man!" What exactly does your Mom think being a man "is" that your not doing? I'm curious. What defines "being a man?"

I have a theory that too much Testosterone (for example) does not make a "man" a better, bigger man. It makes them gigantic jerks. *With exceptions? I dunno. For me, too little testosterone had similar mental effects.

BTW I got upset when a kid asked if our dog was a girl or a boy. My wife insisted our dog was an "it" which I thought was incorrect and very degrading.