becoming a eunuch

[fredoregon (imported)]

<<

Depression is caused by many things and amplified by the huge drop in hormone levels. Depression is often (in my experience) the feeling of being worthless and that the world would not miss you. Everyone who has been castrated will tell you that depresion is a fact not a myth the sevarity differs but the fact that it happens is

set in stone.

>>

-----> 'TheFraj' wrote: << Hey Phil!! Please keep posting, even if it's just to let us know how you're feeling or any thoughts you have. I think this 'diary' idea is truely wonderful; both for the diarist - being able to express feelings and thoughts which can often make a person feel better, and also to hel

p others come to terms with the feelings and emotions. >>

- and I 100% agree with him(her?), cause you seem to be experiencing heavy depression, so keeping your writing, put you thoughts down and communicate, having people take interest in you, all this definitively has to be of great help to you, your sanity, your self-image and your self-worth (as you mentioned the feeling of being worthless)

Everyone is unique (but not eunuch -I had to do the pun, sorry and not everyone respond the same way to castration apparently... Your own way to respond, what your body does to you, your mind, your neurones... is entirely based on your own genetics and physiological potential.

This said, I think it is imperative that you would keep in touch, so not to fall too low in your feelings of depression. I think we all agree on that...

So, keep it up Phil, YOU are as important as anyone else, here and anywhere: cause our worth isn't based on what we accomplish, but on what we are inside. If you keep your heart from falling into disgrace, chances are you model grace and humility, which are the two qualities God Himself is searching in us all.

alf

.

[philip1 (imported)]

I am posting again but I have little to say. I will say that I do not view myself as male I never did I do view myself as a person who needs to get their fat butt in shape I am a eunuch I have always been one inside so to demand that I "Be a man" I find insulting. I expressed that to my mom, she may not like it but I am not a little boy that can be told what to do, I am an adult and I take the responsibility for myself. I will continue to post although it may be eradically. I will not go off and die on ya'll. I will continue to document how castration has affected me and continues to change me.

I still to this day have Zero regrets for going through with my castration

[_g (imported)]

Glad to see that your still kicking. I hope you are doing well.

_g

[philip1 (imported)]

I am planning a trip to see my family over the Easter weekend I hope things go well.

[may172001 (imported)]

Glad you are doing well phil. Good that you are kicking it and so much help to us. Thanks! I am still trying to debate on this. It is a big decision to make. Take Care!

[farharbour (imported)]

Thanks for contuning to post. It seems that many of the guys who get castrated drift away... leaving us wondering how they are doing... I really can identify with your decision ... not having to pretend that you are something that you are not and ending the expectations of others that you might eventually conform to what society would expect from a good looking, masculine man... The idea that you opening accept your new state of being and reject manhood compltely seems very healthy...

[philip1 (imported)]

I guess I can post an update now

I have been doing well. I have noticed that in the first year I have less strength but I cope, I have less energy but I compensate with DHEA and caffeene, I have no enthusiasim for anything sexual and thats fine by me, but the best thing is I am in complete controll of my temper. When I do go off it is more of a pop than a nuclear bomb.

All in all I am glad I chose this life rather than continuing to hate myself which would have ended badly

[JesusA]

Phil,

It's always wonderful to hear from you. Even when YOU think you have nothing to say, each post gives yet more insight for other readers of the Archive. Your thread is the most read one here for very good reason. Thank you for keeping it up.

[philip1 (imported)]

This last month I have embarked on a project I never thought I would have the "balls" to do.

I started a car club in my city and I have even organized the first event. a year ago I would not have the gumption not to mention the sheer guts to do this, now... well I've been to hell what could possibly be worse than that, so why not.

[philip1 (imported)]

I find it odd the way intact males view the mere mention of the word eunuch. today at work a coworker found the drffinition online and was pointing it out to me and snickering at the thought. Little did he know he was standing next to exactly what he was laughing at. I did not react to it at all how he expected in that I just nodded acknowlegement of the definition and went on to my work.

Males are so stupid most of the time.

[thefraj (imported)]

Phil, I hope this isn't intruding to post some thoughts here (feel free to remove if it is!) but I know exactly what you mean.

A work friend gave me a similar humerous response when the subject of eunuchs came up. Almost everyone I work with knows I'm a eunuch, and I don't particularly mind. This guy was one of the few who didn't.

_______________________

Firstly, it's part of the ideology we live in that we are frequently led to believe "eunuch" is a negative thing... words like "political eunuch" are frequently used to describe a leader with no power.

Imagine the response, if we described someone as a "political woman"!?!?

We need equal rights here, and to help challenge this ideology that feels:

Eunuchs don't really exist in modern times,

Due to the first point, it is okay to make fun of this term.

At the fear of sounding bitter, whenever I hear the term "eunuch" used in such context in online news articles, I almost always right to the editor to express my upset.

_______________________

Anyway, getting back to the work collegue; I told him politely that eunuchs still exist today, and always have.

Eunuchs even existed before Jesus did. (around 2000 years to be more accurate, in the Sumarian (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sumer) city of Kagash (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lagash)) (quoting a friend who wrote) : Over the millenia since, we have been wide variety of functions in many different cultures; including courtiers or equivalent domestics, treble singers, religious specialists, government officials, military commanders, and guardians of women or harem servants.

And the only reason we have lost our social footing today, is thanks mainly to the pro-masculine Roman Empire, their male greed and their treatment of eunuchs.

Sorry if this turned into a bit of a rave. I just pray for the day when eunuchs are acknowledged and accepted in the West. I'm sure that day will come. In our lifetimes? I'm not sure.

[philip1 (imported)]

I appreciate any input you have Rog, I am still quiet at work about my eunuchisim but the days of my silence are drawing short.

[philip1 (imported)]

I think it is time to remind those reading this thread that Castration is NOT for everyone infact it is probably the worst thing you can do to your body. I want each and every one of you to remember Castration affects more than just you. Everyone you come in contact with is affected in some way, some it is so minor that you don't notice, others it may be catistrophic and ruin relationships. When you are castrated everyone you know is castrated a little (sounds weird huh) its true if they know you well enough they will know.......

its not like you can hide your mood swings your mental breakdowns your bawling about nothing they will know. They may not be able to put their finger right on it but they will know.

So when you think about getting castrated think about who it will affect and ask yourself "Can I live with this?"

[BudleyBare (imported)]

I think it is time to remind those reading this thread that Castration is NOT for everyone infact it is probably the worst thing you can do to your body. I want each and every one of you to remember Castration affects more than just you. Everyone you come in contact with is affected in some way, some it is so minor that you don't notice, others it may be catistrophic and ruin relationships. ....

Just curious, is this reminder based on a recent unpleasant experience in your life?

[kristoff]

Just curious, is this reminder based on a recent unpleasant experience in your life?

One might want to start at the beginning of the thread, and follow the evolution of Phil's experience. It has been an odyssey we have all been following, and is very telling for many of us.

[BudleyBare (imported)]

One might want to start at the beginning of the thread, and follow the evolution of Phil's experience. It has been an odyssey we have all been following, and is very telling for many of us.

Thanks Krister. I have read this thread many, many (MANY) times, and contribute to the 45,000+ views that it has recorded. I found and continue to find it a great resource. My recent inquiry was simply to find out if there were recent additional experiences that he had had that might not have been documented here. As a new eunuch, I want to know as much as I can of others' experiences and advice so as to help me make better choices in the future.

Have a wonderful day!

Bud

[philip1 (imported)]

Everything we do and say affects those arround us we may not notice the affect but it is there. Something as radical as Castration will change a person both Physically and Mentally. those closest to us will be more likely to notice those who are not as close will probably notice. These changes in a post castration male will cause a reaction in those arround them.

E.G. A close friend of mine whom I have not told about my castration asked me " There's something different about you...Whats up?" Basically I am trying to warn and remind people that Castration has concequences for not only the Castrated but everyone around them.

[philip1 (imported)]

Depression:

an illness that involves the body, mood, and thoughts. It affects the way a person eats and sleeps, the way one feels about oneself, and the way one thinks about things. A depressive disorder is not the same as a passing blue mood. It is not a sign of personal weakness or a condition that can be willed or wished away. People with a depressive illness cannot merely "pull themselves together" and get better. Without treatment, symptoms can last for weeks, months, or years. Appropriate treatment, however, can help most people who suffer from depression.

most who undergo castration suffer from some form of depression, myself included. This week in fact I am having issues with depression. My self worth is low and I feel like I am screwing everything up. Fortunately I can see the symptims and recognise them. I know not to let it get too bad. If I start to feel suicidal I call my dad and I feel like living again. everyone has someone to live for, finding them is difficult but it is worth it.

no matter how bad I feel I know that I have someone to live for and a DAMN GOOD reason too.

[bryan (imported)]

M

ost who undergo castration suffer from some form of depression, myself included.

Hi Phil,

I've been having some depression, too. You may want to try 5-HTP, a natural, over-the-counter remedy for depression. It boosts levels of serotonin in the brain by providing more raw material for its production. It has improved my moods. A side benefit is mild appetite suppression.

Thanks for the tip about DHEA. For those of us without HRT, it's the next best thing.

Bryan

[mrt (imported)]

Depression:

an illness that involves the body, mood, and thoughts. It affects the way a person eats and sleeps, the way one feels about oneself, and the way one thinks about things. A depressive disorder is not the same as a passing blue mood. It is not a sign of personal weakness or a condition that can be willed or wished away. People with a depressive illness cannot merely "pull themselves together" and get better. Without treatment, symptoms can last for weeks, months, or years. Appropriate treatment, however, can help most people who suffer from depression.

most who undergo castration suffer from some form of depression, myself included. This week in fact I am having issues with depression. My self worth is low and I feel like I am screwing everything up. Fortunately I can see the symptims and recognise them. I know not to let it get too bad. If I start to feel suicidal I call my dad and I feel like living again. everyone has someone to live for, finding them is difficult but it is worth it.

no matter how bad I feel I know that I have someone to live for and a DAMN GOOD reason too.

I'm not a Doctor or even an amateur "expert" but when my Testosterone tanked my Doctor said I was showing classic "Depression" symptoms. She suggested that it might be hormones instead. So... My question is this. Is depression just hormonal problems. Or are depression and hormone issues two very different things? I think they are myself.

Anyway, I'm curious what you think about it Phil?

[philip1 (imported)]

its both chemical and hormonal an imbalance in one can adversly affect the other.....

[philip1 (imported)]

today I came close to heat stroke.... I thought I was OK but no mater how much water you drink 104f is still 104f and on top of all that we were in a code red ozone day I still feel ill but I am better. This event reminds me that I am not the tough "guy" I used to be. anything over 80f and I sweat profusely over 100f and I feel ill. I guess that being a eunuch makes me more susceptible to heat issues. I will have to monitor this more closely in the future.

[philip1 (imported)]

DAMNIT I HATE BIRTHDAYS!!!!!!!!

its just a reminder of all the years of having nothing and watching brothers and sister get what they want......

[philip1 (imported)]

upon reflection,

I don't hate birthdays. I hate having them be a huge ordeal. The remembering of birth is good but it can be annoying. Thanks to all who posted birthday greetings and wishes.

the young OLD fart

[philip1 (imported)]

summertime and I'm sweating my balls.........................oh yah

well I'm sweating profusely anytime its over 80f I'm not sure if its because I'm a eunuch or the 60+% humidity. it seems that anytime i do any strenuous work I am suddenly drenched.

ok here's a list of my experiences since castration:

emotional instability (MASSIVE MOOD SWINGS)

loss of strength (slow but noticeable)

loss of interest in anything sexual (didn't have much to begin with)

mind has gotten much more raunchy since I am outside the male/female sexual theatre

Physical stamina has dropped to near nothing

joints have stiffened muscles are sore alot

cry more easilly

when I do get mad it is a throttled anger that is very focussed at the one thing making me angry instead of the old vague explosion.

sometime next year I will be trying a low dose of HRT (I have little choice it either hrt or pile of dust)