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I will likely post no more than very occasional updates going forward, unless something major happens. I've stated this before and soon found that I wanted to write regularly again. That's always a possibility.

Conclusion: If I fail to write for several months, this is not a cause for concern.

Current life action plan, by priority high to low:

1. Continue dilating

2. Find a job with benefits, whether it is contract, contract to hire or permanent - either in the Chicago area or somewhere else.

3. Enjoy life and have fun

I am not saying good-bye, just letting folks know how things are. My job search is occupying nearly all of my hours not used for eating and sleeping. I do not allow dilating to interfere with my job search.

great news good luck

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue Jul 12, 2011 12:49 am I will likely post no more than very occasional updates going forward, unless something major happens. I've stated this before and soon found that I wanted to write regularly again. That's always a possibility.

Conclusion: If I fail to write for several months, this is not a cause for concern.

Current life action plan, by priority high to low:

1. Continue dilating

2. Find a job with benefits, whether it is contract, contract to hire or permanent - either in the Chicago area or somewhere else.

3. Enjoy life and have fun

I am not saying good-bye, just letting folks know how things are. My job search is occupying nearly all of my hours not used for eating and sleeping. I do not allow dilating to interfere with my job search.

I will continue to look forward to seeing your updates. Wish you luck with your job search. Hope you find a job soon. Take good care of that pussy - you waited a long time for it.

I have been offered a 6+ month contract job in Pittsburgh. I am very familiar with this city, as most of my extended family lived there or in surrounding suburbs. Both Pennsylvania and Pittsburgh have transgender protections in place. Pittsburgh has a lot to offer. Although I like it, for several personal reasons it is not among the top places I would choose to live.

I just this minute accepted the contract offer, starting in about two weeks. This does not mean I will wind up moving to Pittsburgh. Contractors frequently accept permanent offers from other companies, and that could happen even before I would move to The Keystone State. Even knowing the nature of contract work, I felt guilty accepting the it. I dislike giving my word on something and then backing out. I called my close woman friend in Minnesota to disucss my feelings. She has been a hiring manager for permanent and contract jobs. She has worked most recently in a pemanent job but held several contract jobs in the first ten years of this decade. 'F' reiterated what I already knew. This is the nature of contract work. Many people want permanent jobs and are forced to accept contract work until something permanent comes along. She said that I'd be 'insane' not to accept a good permanent job to remain with a contract job. Contract jobs, at least the type I do, are not legally binding on the length of employment. As with any permanent job, with a two week notice I would be able to leave.

I am under active consideration for an excellent, permanent opportunity in Southern California. I hope to hear later this week or early next if the company wants a face to face interview. They will pay all expenses for an interview trip. If this outfit wants an in person interview and I am already in Pittsburgh, I will take a Friday off to fly to the west coast.

Later this week, I should learn if I will be offered a contract to hire position at a very good company in a northern suburb of Chicago.

If I move to Pittsbhurgh, I will sell or give away some of my things. Just about everything I own is in my bedroom. Some of it is too heavy and bothersome to move on my own. Contract jobs, of this type, do not always cover moving expenses. This one does not. Besides, I want everything I move to fit in my Ford Focus station wagon.

I am not thrilled about moving again, especially to a city that is not one I prefer. At the same time, I accept that I need to be working again ASAP.

Danya, I am happy that you have been offered a job. In the words of kung foo "Choose wisely Grasshopper".

Moving long distance can be hard. If you do move here, I hope you will find your stay enjoyable. Keep following your dream untill it becomes reality. I admire your strength and courage. I hope that you are offered a better position in a city that you feel comfortable living in. If not, just look at Pittsburgh as a six month adventure. Make sure you take the time to go to PNC Park and root for our Pirates, oops I digressed a little. I have followed your thread from the start and I am impressed with what you have accomplished. I know you will have a bright future wherever you go. Good luck!

woofpuppy (imported) wrote: Wed Jul 20, 2011 6:04 pm Danya, I am happy that you have been offered a job. In the words of kung foo "Choose wisely Grasshopper".

Hi woofpuppy,

Thanks for the words of wisdom and for writing. There are several positive aspe

woofpuppy (imported) wrote: Wed Jul 20, 2011 6:51 pm cts to the Pittsburgh job that make it very attractive.

Moving long distance can be hard. If you do move here, I hope you will find your stay enjoyable. Keep following your dream untill it becomes reality. I admire your strength and courage. I hope that you are offered a better position in a city that you feel comfortable living in. If not, just look at Pittsburgh as a six month adventure. Make sure you take the time to go to PNC Park and root for our Pirates, oops I digressed a little. I have followed your thread from the start and I am impressed with what you have accomplished. I know

you will have a bright future wherever you go. Good luck!

I've adjusted to the idea of moving again, but it would still be stressful. I really do like Pittsburgh and I'm already looking at this possible move as another adventure. Or part of a new adventure.

I can remember when the now demolished Three Rivers Stadium was being built; I have not been to PNC Park.

[Just a moment ago, I got a call from another recruiter about a permanent job in a close in northern suburb of Chicago. He is submitting my resume and expects the company to act quickly. This leaves me with more uncertainty about what the wisest decision really is. ]

Thanks for your thoughtful, and generous, words.

Best wishes,

Danya

Although I will likely move to Pittsburgh in the next week, I'd rather be moving to San Francisco, Portland (OR) or Seattle. Or be remaining here. Many articles I have been reading about Pittsburgh lead me to the conclusion that it is also a fine place to be. It certainly has changed a lot since the last time I visited in the mid-1980's. The economy is much more diverse, it has a vibrant downtown, it has fared relatively well through that latest recession and so-called recovery. I have always liked it.

I'm glad many of the abandoned factory sites are now places for new businesses and office complexes. This will make it easier for me. Nearly all of my 5 uncles and several cousins on my mother's side, and my paternal grandfather worked in heavy industries that either no longer exist or are mere shadows of what they once were. I might find it difficult to see visible reminders of what were once critically important places for my extended family's life. Particularly since most of them are now long dead or in other parts of the country.

It's possible a few cousins who might be open to me still call the area home. We lost touch many years ago, my immediate family moving far from the clan.

There are many things I want to write. I don't have time now. I'm meeting Erica Ann this evening for dinner and some nightclub time. To say good-bye. Erica Ann has always been terrific.

What's on my mind now, that I might write about later?

1. Trying to reconnect with my only niece. We are both on a business networking site and I can use that to contact here. She and I always got along before I transitioned. I suspect she accepted me after my transition, too. Her father, one of my unaccepting brothers, may have gotten in the middle. She is an adult now and not dependent on Dad.

2. What do I envision for my future and what steps can I take to make things happen?

3. Relationships - I may need to let go of some things to develop deep relationships

4. People who are role models for me, some of whom I have never met - including Theresa Sparks (San Francisco). Although I have never gone to TG support groups, role models have been and continue to be critically important reminders for navigating life.

I love the new auto-save feature of vBulletin Time to get ready for a night on the town.

I found out today that I will receive retroactive unemployment benefits. This would enable me to remain here for many more months. I am still going to proceed with moving to southwestern Pennsylvania in a few days. I made this decision based on a number of seemingly logical factors (several friends agree with my reasoning, if that proves anything ), and one feeling. That's another jump off the cliff and then building my wings on the way down sort of thing. It has served me well in the past. There come times when I need to let go of thinking about possibilities, and their potential complications, and go with what feels very right. This is one of those times.

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Congratulations on getting retroactive benefits!! Also on D #4. Take it slow, relax, think good (or naughty!!) thoughts, and you'll be fine.

Another good thing...Pittsburgh is consistently ranked the US most livable city....don't believe me, google it!

You may also want to brush up on Pittsburghese http://www.pittsburghese.com/

Glad you made a choice. Please drive carefully. Don't overload the car and block your rear vision. Somehow I think Pittsburgh will be a little brighter and spark more with your presence. Being an old sailor I wish you "Fair Winds and Following Seas". Be strong and you will be a powerfull presence that others can not deny.

It's so good to hear from you again, Danya. I assume the unemployment back payments will still stand, even if you're living in Pa.?

Good to hear about your dilation situation...and it's nice to see you conversing with fine people such as Caith(my hero) and woofpuppy (love that name)..

smooches all Jackie

It turns out my unemployment benefits will be significantly higher than I realized. Based on that, and my concerns about moving for a temporary job that could end at any time, I decided to stay in the Chicago area for now. I'm still willing to move. If I do, I have my sights set on the west coast or NJ/NYC/Boston.

Meanwhile, I continue to get daily calls and emails about positions in Chicagoland. I have two phone interviews Friday, one for a permanent job and one for a short-term contract that could become permanent. I hope to hear later this week if I was selected for a contract to hire job in the northern Chicago 'burbs.

Caith721 (imported) wrote: Tue Jul 26, 2011 7:50 am Congratulations on getting retroactive benefits!! Also on D #4. Take it slow, relax, think good (or naughty!!) thoughts, and you'll be fine.

Those benefits are a very good thing.

In just 2 1/2 days, dilating with #4 (aka 'Mr. Big') has become much easier. I do think some good thoughts that just happen to be naughty, too, to make it more pleasant, along with a 'secret' technique.

If only I were about 35 years yo

Wolf-Pup (imported) wrote: Tue Jul 26, 2011 8:55 am unger. There's this one cute guy....well, nevermind.

Another good thing...Pittsburgh is consistently ranked the US most livable city....don't believe me, google it!

You may also want to

brush up on Pittsburghese http://www.pittsburghese.com/

Thanks for writing, Wolf-pup. I checked and know Pittsburgh has been rated a very good place to live because of a number of favorable factors.

For years, I didn't realize I was using some Pittsburghese even though I never lived in the Pittsburgh area. I must have picked it up from my parents. For instance, my ex-spouse was the first person to ask why I said things like "the car needs washed." While this might still be considered every day talk in Pittsburgh, outside that area folks tend to go with "the car needs

woofpuppy (imported) wrote: Tue Jul 26, 2011 1:57 pm to be washed" or "the car needs washing." It's amazing how language can vary over relatively small distances.

Glad you made a choice. Please drive carefully. Don't overload the car and block your rear vision. Somehow I think Pittsburgh will be a little brighter and spark more with your presence. Being an old sailor I wi

sh you "Fair Winds and Following Seas". Be strong and you will be a powerfull presence that others can not deny.

Your concern, kind words and good wishes mean a lot to me. I confess that I was feeling somewhat less than strong earlier this week, especially Tuesday. I usually

butterflyjack (imported) wrote: Tue Jul 26, 2011 6:59 pm stick with a decision once I have made it. In the end, I decided there were a few too many unknowns with the job to justify moving.

I feel back to 'normal' today.

It's so good to hear from you again, Danya. I assume the unemployment back payments will still stand, even if you're living in Pa.?

Good to

hear about your dilation situation...and it's nice to see you conversing with fine people such as Caith(my hero) and woofpuppy (love that name)..

smooches all Jackie

I have trouble thinking of you as Jackie after I've written many responses to dragonfly. I adjust quickly, though!

Even if I start a job end of this week, the back payments will stand.

Everyone here continues to be very helpful in their own unique ways. I am very grateful for that.

My roommate just brought the mail home. One of the envelopes contained my new birth certificate, displaying my new name and showing my sex as female. Unlike some states which use white out or another method to obscure the former name and sex which they then write over, Pennsylvania issues a new document with no evidence that anything has been changed. Three states will not issue any birth certificate changes for post op transsexuals: Ohio, Tennessee and Idaho.

Tomorrow, I'll go to a social security office. My social security records and card have shown my new name since September 2008. With my new birth certificate, they will change my sex to female.

The good part, Danya is that Pittsburgh should be a little bit warmer and less snowfall than Chicago.. I think you will like it..

Hi OneBallBoi,

I decided not to move to Pittsburgh (see post #414, first paragraph). I covered several topics, while quoting multiple responses, that I can see could cause confusion.

You are right. I would have liked the slightly warmer Pittsburgh climate with less snow.

Hope you are doing very well!

Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Jul 28, 2011 1:04 pm Hi OneBallBoi,

I decided not to move to Pittsburgh (see post #414, first paragraph). I covered several topics, while quoting multiple responses, that I can see could cause confusion.

You are right. I would have liked the slightly warmer Pittsburgh climate with less snow.

Hope you are doing very well!

Relocating for a temporary job would have been rather risky. Even most permanent jobs have a 3 to 6 month trial period. However, the long term possibility is greater for a permanent position.

With your positive attitude you will definately find a suitable position.

wow a new birth cert. Its the small things that can mean a lot. Keep up the pressure on the recruters. I know you will land a job soon. Glad you do not have to make that long trip. Next time you go to the botanical gardens post a pic hope you have a good night. Bye for now.

Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Jul 28, 2011 8:45 am My roommate just brought the mail home. One of the envelopes contained my new birth certificate, displaying my new name and showing my sex as female. ....... Tomorrow, I'll go to a social security office. My social security records and card have shown my new name since September 2008. With my new birth certificate, they will change my sex to female.

When I went to a social security office late last year, I was told I would need my modified birth certificate to have my sex modified in the SSA records. Yesterday, with my new birth certificate in hand, I was told they did not need that. Instead, they need the surgeon's certified letter. Unfortunately, the vital records folks in Pennsylvania did not return it. I have a new one on the way from Montreal, but it won't arrive until late September. The office is closed for most of August and the go

Mac (imported) wrote: Thu Jul 28, 2011 10:17 pm od doctor signs these letters only once a month.

Relocating for a temporary job would have been rather risky. Even most permanent jobs have a 3 to 6 month trial period. However, the long term possibility is greater for a permanent position.

With your positive a

ttitude you will definately find a suitable position.

I am working hard to find a good position. I'm still looking locally and in other parts of the ountry. I'm waiting to hear about the job in Southern California (I had a phone interview late last week.) The recr

woofpuppy (imported) wrote: Fri Jul 29, 2011 10:32 am uiter, who is on vacation of all things , told me today that he should have some news for me Monday.

wow a new birth cert. Its the small things that can mean a lot. Keep up the pressure on the recruters. I know you will land a job soon. Glad you do not have to make that l

ong trip. Next time you go to the botanical gardens post a pic hope you have a good night. Bye for now.

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Jan 07, 2011 10:18 am You are right, I do need to

keep the pressure on those recruiters.

I am starting to accept that I really don't want to move. But I can be a slow learner. But I still may have to move down the road.

Since arriving here in early 2010, all of my avatars are parts of larger photos I have taken in this area. I would add a larger photo from the Botanic Garden here, but the sit[

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Jul 08, 2011 3:48 am

Mac (imported) wrote: Thu Jul 07, 2011 1:42 pm

Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Jul 07, 2011 7:20 am

Sorry to hear about the event with X. I am sure that when you are ready for a meaningfull relationship you will be blessed with a wonderfull man who will rock your world. I love the fench. I had two Cockateels. Perinda and Matilda they were my babys. Perinda would ride on my sholder while I vaccuumed the apartment. I called her my stupidvisor. Sadly they and George and Gracie my African Ciclids died when the building next to my apartment exploded and burnt up my apartment.

Do you think you would be happier working downtown or in the burbs around Chi town?. Have you ever given thought to taking the civil service exam and applying for a state or federal job?. That would expand your search area. Well hang in there and think positive thoughts. You are a beautiful lady. Both inside and out. Bye for now.

woofpuppy (imported) wrote: Mon Aug 01, 2011 1:58 pm Sorry to hear about the event with X. I am sure that when you are ready for a meaningfull relationship you will be blessed with a wonderfull man who will rock your world.

'X' and I - this never would have worked beyond friendship. He was right about that and I wished him well with the 'someone' he is likely still visiting out-of-state.

It can be difficult for trans women to form relationships with men. I'm certainly open to the possibility and it may just happen.

woofpuppy (imported) wrote: Mon Aug 01, 2011 1:58 pm I love the fench. I had two Cockateels. Perinda and Matilda they were my babys. Perinda would ride on my sholder while I vaccuumed the apartment. I called her my stupidvisor. Sadly they and George and Gracie my African Ciclids died when the building next to my apartment exploded and burnt up my apartment.

It took me 30 minutes last week to get two good photos of goldfinches at the botanic garden. They seldom stay still for long, so I stood quietly waiting for other visitors to pass until the birds settled down again.

Pets can be very important. You've been through a lot of tough times in your life. I hope things start to look up for you soon.

woofpuppy (imported) wrote: Mon Aug 01, 2011 1:58 pm Do you think you would be happier working downtown or in the burbs around Chi town?. Have you ever given thought to taking the civil service exam and applying for a state or federal job?. That would expand your search area. Well hang in there and think positive thoughts. You are a beautiful lady. Both inside and out. Bye for now.

I love being in downtown Chicago with it's high energy, crowds of people and many things to do. It's easier, though, for me to get to suburban locations so I hope I can stick with the burbs.

The civil service exam is a good idea. Thanks! With the latest budget deal in Congress federal, state and local agencies will likely increase layoffs. It's still worth a shot.

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Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Feb 17, 2011 3:44 pm ears since I was laid off and I'm tired of the continuing need to look for work. The thought that I may

ne

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Feb 16, 2011 10:59 am ed to move again is adding to my stress. The idea of perhaps moving back to MN, where jobs are more plenti[q

uote="Danya (imported)" time=1297221120]
ful, provides 'cold' comfort. What does provide comfort, and some peace of mind, is reading accounts
[/quote]
of

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue Feb 01, 2011 2:32 pm other trans people who have struggled under similarly trying conditions and thrived in the end. These acc[q

uote="Danya (imported)" time=1296439380]
ounts remind me that I am not alone. Last night, reading one such story left me feeling very calm and at p[qu
[/quote]
ote="Danya (imported)" time=1296271260]
eace with the world.

I suspect few people are strong all the time. I definitely am not, but I'm usually
[/quote]
a

Danya (imported) wrote: Mon Jan 24, 2011 10:58 am ble to push through my fears to get to where I need to be. This week, I have not managed to do this. The l[q

uote="Danya (imported)" time=1295670060]
ast few days, I have been concerned that I could end up losing what few belongings I still have left and
[/quote]
h

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Jan 21, 2011 12:39 pm ave no place to go.

When I get out, whether for an interview or just to exercise, I feel fine and in ch

ar

Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Jan 20, 2011 12:58 pm ge of my life. I know this, but I am not getting out unless it is for an interview. I'm concerned that if [q

uote="Danya (imported)" time=1295153580]
I take a morning to exercise and be out, I am wasting time that could be used on my job search. This is
[/quote]
fo

Danya (imported) wrote: Mon Jan 10, 2011 11:44 am olish. If I get out and walk it keeps my outlook upbeat, despite my concerns. I will get out tomorrow, jus[q

uote="Danya (imported)" time=1294444140]
t to the local mall to save on gas. I'd prefer to walk outside, but the mold count is very high and I am
[/quote]
e

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue Jan 04, 2011 2:14 pm xtremely allergic to every mold I've been tested for. Then there's the air quality. Today was better, but Mo

nday and Tuesday I could have sworn I was in LA.

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Dec 22, 2010 12:51 am __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________

____

My interview yesterday went very well. I may know later this week if I will be offered the job. You never know how these things will turn out. I have an interview next week. I had a phone interview today that went well; it could lead to an in person interview.

Be well, sweety...smooches Jackie

Hi Jackie,

Writing last night about my feelings and concerns did the trick. With few people to talk with about my life, writing is a good replacement and psychologically healthy. I got an excellent night's sleep and awoke unworried about my prospects.

I just got a call from a recruiter I had been working with for a permanent job in King of Prussia, PA. The last time we spoke was over a month ago. This is for a permanent job. Permanent job processes tend to move a lot more slowly than contract positions. I just learned that I will have an interview with the hiring manager Friday. Tha

Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Aug 04, 2011 1:47 pm t could lead to an in person interview

on the East Coast.

Everything will work out. All I need to do is keep my cool. Not spending every waking moment in front of a computer and getting out keeps me on track.

I broke my own rule not

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri May 06, 2011 6:22 am to drive to the botanic garden

while I am unemployed. The weather has been terrific today so off I went. I was so down earlier this week, I thought I might need to speak with a therapist. But I don't really need that. I need exercise in an area that brings me happiness. This is much less expensive than a therapist. I feel terrific after walking around the garden for 90 minutes.

Yesterday afternoon, I had a phone interview for a permanent job in a northern suburb. The recruiter just called to tell me the hiring manager wants to interview me in person early next week. This is great news. The recruiter asked how my job search was going. I told him I'm

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Sep 24, 2010 10:49 am waiting to hear if I will be offer

ed the job I interviewed for Tuesday, that I have a hiring manager interview Wednesday and a phone interview for a p

Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Aug 04, 2011 1:47 pm

Danya (imported) wrote: Sat Jul 30, 2011 2:32 pm

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Jul 08, 2011 3:48 am
time=1309987200]
[quote="Danya (imported)"

time=1309404480]
[quote="Danya (imported)"

time=1308604980]

Danya (imported) [/quote] wrote:Mon Jun 20, 2011 10:25 am

Danya (imported) [/quote] wrote:Fri Jun 03, 2011 2:55 am
uote="Danya (imported)" time=1306108020]
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ermanent job tomorrow. H

e responded, "Every time I ca

Danya [/quote] [/quote] (imported) wrote:Fri May 06, 2011 6:22 am

Danya (imported) wrote: Thu May 05, 2011 6:52 am
time=1302406920]
[quote="Danya (imported)"

time=1302052860]

Danya (imported) [/quote] wrote:Mon Apr 04, 2011 12:20 pm