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I'll admit, I've sortof been putting this off until I can find the words. However it's been a few days, and the words aren't coming. I'm not sure they'll ever come, really.

I'd like for this to be a thread for everyone to come together and remember Christina, share stories about her, and talk over the good times.

For now all I can say is I will always remember my dear friend but I still cant beleave this happened to her.She went through so much in her life I care so much for her and I miss her.

Christina:

I'm going to miss you everyday for the rest of my life even though we never actually met in person. You became family to me several years ago and you are still family to me. You are my sister. Wherever you are in the clouds or in time, we are brother and sister, and I love you dearly.

Lilac was in chat tonight and was still in tears about not having you to talk too or to laugh with or surf the internet together or go playing Warcraft with. We tried to cheer her up as best we could, but you Christina were Lilac's best medicine. You made her laugh, you cheered her up, you gave her your love and friendship.

You gave all of us your friendship and we gave you ours. In a way, you are still alive. Alive inside my mind and heart. Whenever I hear your name, whenever I feel the tears in Lilac's eyes, whenever anyone in chat asks about you, I feel your presence. You were there for me, the other chat room moderators and everybody who came to chat with us. You were on the line every night offering your advice, experience, personal hardships, friendship and always you reached out to those that needed your advice.

Your humor was great too and you told jokes that were funnier than mine and even more corny than mine. In the chat moderators room, you told a dozen puns in a row till I almost fell off my chair laughing. You had a way to make us all comfortable by just being there for us.

I know you had Lilac till the end but I wish we all had known the end was so close because more of us would have been there, at least to say goodbye.

On my signoff from the chatroom, it says, "Goodnight Christina." I pray you are happy wherever you are now. I hope you miss all of us as much we all miss you. You have left an indelible mark on our hearts, souls and minds.

I can honestly say, "Christina, you will be missed but remembered, unseen but loved and unheard from but thought of every night."

I wish I was there to hold your hand, and I will see you someday.

Goodnight sweet sister. All my love to you.

I had no knowledge of her passing untill reading this just now. So sudden it's hard to believe, just like with Bboy, a shock to the senses. I will miss her, she was such a fun person in chat, and could always make me laugh. Truly saddened she is gone, a true LADY and there just aren't many of those anymore.

This is a very difficult post for me to write. I spent but a very short time with Christina (at one of the East Coast MoMs), but she was important to me as a kind, caring, intelligent, and loving person. She seemed always to have time to respond to those in need on the Archive. Her posts were filled with her concern for the welfare of others. Several times I enlisted her help and advice for someone in need.

In person, Christina was even more wonderful that she was over the Internet. She had a delightful sense of humor and was one of the most huggable women I have ever known. She lit up the room by her very presence. I will always remember the joy that was bouncing around the motel room that Christina and Lilac shared at the MoM. Bobbie, Luvpain, OBB, and others there, sharing in the electric atmosphere....

The world is a sadder place without Christina. She will be greatly missed.

I didn't really know Christina except from her post she had been a lot of help to me

She was a good person and had a genuine concern for others well being I will miss her

may she rest in peace

Christina has died! When?

I am at a loss for words, we have lost a dear friend. I will miss her wit her come backs, her advice, she was very special. I have known Christina sense she came into the Archive, we became fast friends but Christina was everybody's friend, she had a way of making you feel special. When I left as head of the chat I knew I had left the chat room in good hands.

This is just to hard to try and say what I am feeling, maybe I will be able to add more later.

Goodbye sweet lady,

I simply don't know what to write. If I could just express in a few words how much Christina made being in the archive special I would do that but I can't. I would also say how much I miss her, but I can't express that either. I want to write more but there just isn't anything that I can write or say that would describe how I feel, but if you knew Christina I probably don't need to.

The only thing that helps is knowing that she doesn't have to suffer any more. I think she must be on a grand adventure in some other time and place.

I have not been around much lately but I used to be a regular. I logged on to the chat today to find that Christina has passed. She was a great moderator and always friendly and willing to help. She will be missed. My thoughts go out to all her friends (Lilac!).

Sweet dreams 'til sunbeams find you,

Sweet dreams that leave your worries behind you.

But in your dreams, whatever they be,

Dream a little dream of me. .

Such an enormous loss.

Peace, Christina

Hard to put into words are feelings. As others have said meeting someone in person adds so much to knowing the real person. We will miss you Christina.

I never met Christina in person, but we did chat on Yahoo when I rarely had the time.

When I couldn't their version to work on my new machine, she readily sent me the old version that DID work. I think she must have been a digital "pack rat" on versions, because she always had what you asked for.

I regret never having met her. I know I will miss her sorely.

Her posts indicated kindness. Even in passing by us, some people bless us. I am grateful that I got to see some hint of her here with friends.

I will always remember the big bright smile on Christina's picture in her avatar. My sense of Christina is that she was a very warm and caring person in an often cold impersonal world. Despite everything she herself had been through, Christina came across to me as a bright and happy presence here on Eunuch Archive, and one that will be very sadly missed.

I really feel she is still with us.

I am so sad to learn of Christina s passing. She loved us all , and we loved her. All i can say is for our time together and i will miss her.

Hi Everyone, You all know how much Christina meant to me. Her mom said to me the other day at the funeral she was always worried about her as she was changing to who she should have been from the beginning. She said she didnt worry as much when I was with her. I was very proud to call her my best friend and would defend her to anyone that ever said anything about her. I even had arguments with my x-hubby over her. LOL She knew what a jerk he could be. I just felt so comfy with her. We use to always go to lunch when I visited her. We weren't able to go the past year because of her back and shoulder pain. That didnt matter to me, I still went to see her and she and I would sit in her room and play on the computer's. We sat side by side, her on her computer, and me on my laptop I carried with me every time I went to visit her. I tried my best to go weekly, sometimes it was bi-weekly because of transportation. I have no car. She did lend me hers once in a while. I never was a poet, but I wrote her a poem the first year I met her. She just inspired me. I would like to share it with you all. She had it in a frame on her wall. She loved it. not sure where to put it, but will copy it here I guess.

*Christina Marie* January 2002

She's tall and beautiful, this friend of mine.

She's going through some changes, and she'll be just fine. Yes, she's going through a lot to change the life she once had. So why can't everyone just deal with it and not be so sad.

Her beauty within, she brings to the outside. She's learned a lot and has nothing to hide. She loves to dress up as pretty as can be. The make up, the curls, you really should see. Sometimes you might wonder why and how. Don't pick on this girl, for she loves life now.

So don't give her any problems, she can only take a few. Before the tears start falling, she hurts like we do.

Who is this person I often defend.

None other then Christina my transsexual best friend.

A poem by Lilac, (the chatroom flower)

Hope you all enjoyed it. She loved it. Love and Hugs, Lilac

Her smile in her avatar is how I will always think of her. That smile made me feel welcome to the EA. She had compassion for everyone and I loved to read her posts.

I imagine her smile as she watches over all of us. I am sure she is telling us not to cry because she is pain free and at peace. I am sorry Christina but I have more tears to shed.

I didn't know her except from reading some of her posts. My condolences to everyone who did know her.

God Speed Christina!

Christina was a special woman, and I do consider myself very fortunate for having the opportunity to meet her in person. I will always remember those days that I spent with her and other good friends. I do agree that she is very huggable. I will also always remember and be grateful for the help she offered me when I first joined the EA. That is just the type of person she was - always there when someone was in need.

Christina, I am going to miss you and will never forget you. Thank you so much for all that you have done for me, and all you have done for all of us here at the EA. This site, and especially the chatroom, will never be the same without you. I know you are happy now and free of all the pain that burdened you for so long, and for that I am very happy for you too. *Hugs*

Christina, I found a song for you. Except for the word in the song, "unkind," it describes how we all feel. It's Peter, Paul and Mary's version of The Last Thing on My Mind.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Iua8HWyRDY

I honestly can't believe that Christina is gone. When I started coming to chat here years ago, I remember how sweet and friendly and welcoming she was to me. She was an honestly good person, and I never saw her be anything but kind to others. She was one of my first friends here and I won't forget her.

Lilac, I am sorry for your incredible loss. Please let me know if you need a shoulder to cry on or just someone to listen. I will keep you in my prayers.

Christina

Surf-toad was in chat tonight and said he misses you. You, he and Lilac would be on WOW together and had fun.

Night Toots

Goodby sweet lady i will miss you and remember you alwys