EA Forums

Posted: **Tue Sep 01, 2009 10:40 pm**

Really did not know where to list this, so here it is. There are two issues I would like to discuss. One of these issues is a pet peeve with me, the other is what it is. First off is I notice that online communication is sometimes less that pleasurable. What I am talking about is the chat rooms, forums, and the way people are treated when trying to become a part of any community. First off, I have expereinced that in chat rooms, EVEN HERE, if you are not known you may be welcome, but nobody wishes to talk to you. If you haven't been there before you may find that you are not included in the chat and that if you are, most members will ignore you. Oh after you are there for like 2 months or so then maybe you will be considered a part of the community, but maybe not. It is the same in the forums. People come here to get to meet and to get questions and opinions answered and for interaction. Go down the list of posts and see how many people read an article and then how many people actually reply or respond. You will see that there is little balance if at all. Why is this? Why aren't we involved with each other.

A STORY

I was here big time about 6 years ago. My name was Scottie and that is how I posted. Due to passwords, change of computers and forgetfulness, I used the name spankey2 as that is my name now. I was castrated by injection. I almost died. Had it not been for several members comming to my aid with good advice and help I would have died. Back then I guess we cared about one another, maybe I'm old now and I don't know anything, I THOUGHT WE WERE HERE TO BE FRIENDS, HELP EACH OTHER, GET TO KNOW ONE ANOTHER AND TO LEARN TO LOVE AND ACCEPT ONE ANOTHER! Am I wrong?

The other thing is that when someone asks a question, a specific question, shouldn't there be someone out there to answer it? If not why not help that person find the answers? I have found that once again many people who I know, that know, the answers, don't want to share or help. Even if the answer is not what the person wants to hear, at least it's an answer.

I don't want to upset anyone. I WANT TO WAKE YOU ALL UP. WE ARE MUCH ALONE IN OUR CHOICES IN THIS WORLD. WE NEED TO SUPPORT EACH OTHER WITH ALL WE CAN, WE NEED TO HELP ONE ANOTHER ON OUR JOURNEY'S

spankey2 aka Scottie

Posted: **Tue Sep 01, 2009 11:16 pm**

Part of the problem could be due to my perception that there are too many categories and sub-categories on the board, and some of them seem redundant. I notice many people asking questions, and answers are frequently posted. On occasion I answer someone via private mail rather than clutter up the board.

The board isn't a substitute for counseling or medical treatment and there isn't a "resident counselor"; that would be a legal mine field. The board is a great resource of information, but finding information can be difficult due to the amount of material stored on the board.

Wise people don't want to tell you what to do or how to live your life; that's a great responsibility. In the past year I have learned a lot and it has helped me realize some of my past mistakes and helped guide me into not making new mistakes.

Other than that, not knowing you, it is hard to come up with a real definitive answer to your inquiry.

Posted: **Wed Sep 02, 2009 1:43 am**

nullorchis (imported) wrote: Tue Sep 01, 2009 11:16 pm Part of the problem could be due to my perception that there are too many categories and sub-categories on the board, and some of them seem redundant. I notice many people asking questions, and answers are frequently posted. On occasion I answer someone via private mail rather than clutter up the board.

The board isn't a substitute for counseling or medical treatment and there isn't a "resident counselor"; that would be a legal mine field. The board is a great resource of information, but finding information can be difficult due to the amount of material stored on the board.

Wise people don't want to tell you what to do or how to live your life; that's a great responsibility. In the past year I have learned a lot and it has helped me realize some of my past mistakes and helped guide me into not making new mistakes.

Other than that, not knowing you, it is hard to come up with a real definitive answer to your inquiry.

I would just like to say that I appreciate what you are saying. I am a LISW and therapist and I would not wish to get tangeld up here with all of the issues and liability. I get it. What I dont understand is the lack of acceptance, and caring for each other. The most important thing we have is each other and the most important person here is the new member. Thank you for your coment, spakey2 aka scottie

Posted: **Wed Sep 02, 2009 2:33 am**

I tend to read more posts than I respond to in a day. Many times I do not have the knowledge or the ability to relate to an issue. For example I have no first hand experience with chemical castration or hormone replacement. On the other hand there are those who can not respond to my situation. Oddly I signed up on an incest and rape survivors group for men and received much less support than I do here. I have felt more comfortable sharing my life at the EA in my Desperate to be a Eunuch and other posts than I did at that site.

I also have days where I can be more giving and supportive than other days. Some days my battery needs recharged before I can give to someone else. I wish I had the knowledge and training to help more since I can also be fearful of saying the wrong thing. I would hate to say the wrong thing or give bad advice and someone make a poor choice due to something I said. I wake up each day and try to do the best I can.

Posted: **Wed Sep 02, 2009 7:43 am**

spankey2 (imported) wrote: Wed Sep 02, 2009 1:43 am I would just like to say that I appreciate what you are saying. I am a LISW and therapist and I would not wish to get tangeld up here with all of the issues and liability. I get it. What I dont understand is the lack of acceptance, and caring for each other. The most important thing we have is each other and the most important person here is the new member. Thank you for your coment, spakey2 aka scottie

I fail to see what you see. This is about the most accepting, open, and caring sites around. Perhaps your expectations are too high, or you remember your experience much better than you see here. I would suspect so.

Posted: **Wed Sep 02, 2009 9:45 am**

spankey2 (imported) wrote: Tue Sep 01, 2009 10:40 pm Really did not know where to list this, so here it is. There are two issues I would like to discuss. One of these issues is a pet peeve with me, the other is what it is. First off is I notice that online communication is sometimes less that pleasurable. What I am talking about is the chat rooms, forums, and the way people are treated when trying to become a part of any community. First off, I have expereinced that in chat rooms, EVEN HERE, if you are not known you may be welcome, but nobody wishes to talk to you. If you haven't been there before you may find that you are not included in the chat and that if you are, most members will ignore you. Oh after you are there for like 2 months or so then maybe you will be considered a part of the community, but maybe not. It is the same in the forums. People come here to get to meet and to get questions and opinions answered and for interaction. Go down the list of posts and see how many people read an article and then how many people actually reply or respond. You will see that there is little balance if at all. Why is this? Why aren't we involved with each other.

A STORY

I was here big time about 6 years ago. My name was Scottie and that is how I posted. Due to passwords, change of computers and forgetfulness, I used the name spankey2 as that is my name now. I was castrated by injection. I almost died. Had it not been for several members comming to my aid with good advice and help I would have died. Back then I guess we cared about one another, maybe I'm old now and I don't know anything, I THOUGHT WE WERE HERE TO BE FRIENDS, HELP EACH OTHER, GET TO KNOW ONE ANOTHER AND TO LEARN TO LOVE AND ACCEPT ONE ANOTHER! Am I wrong?

The other thing is that when someone asks a question, a specific question, shouldn't there be someone out there to answer it? If not why not help that person find the answers? I have found that once again many people who I know, that know, the answers, don't want to share or help. Even if the answer is not what the person wants to hear, at least it's an answer.

I don't want to upset anyone. I WANT TO WAKE YOU ALL UP. WE ARE MUCH ALONE IN OUR CHOICES IN THIS WORLD. WE NEED TO SUPPORT EACH OTHER WITH ALL WE CAN, WE NEED TO HELP ONE ANOTHER ON OUR JOURNEY'S

spankey2 aka Scottie

You would seem to have many deep seated problems and to expect to find a loving and nurturing family ready to help you sort these kinds of things on a website where membership is open to anyone with a valid e-mail address is comical at best.

Posted: **Wed Sep 02, 2009 2:15 pm**

estragen (imported) wrote: Wed Sep 02, 2009 9:45 am You would seem to have many deep seated problems and to expect to find a loving and nurturing family ready to help you sort these kinds of things on a website where membership is open to anyone with a valid e-mail address is comical at best.

Estragen

While I judge your words to be true, they are also a bit harsh in light of Scotties' post.

BroBear

Posted: **Wed Sep 02, 2009 2:21 pm**

There's a guy who hangs out sometimes on the street corner near where I live displaying a "homeless" sign and asking for money. Some people give him some but

some do not.

So who is wrong here? Should we all give? Should he go to a free shelter? Is he truthful? Are those who ignore him cold and heartless?

Questions like yours seldom have simple answers.

Posted: **Wed Sep 02, 2009 9:13 pm**

In response to your issue with the chat room, it has inherent limitations. If you enter your name "Scottie", what has that given others any reason to chat with you? Maybe you need a better name to attract attention and say something about your interest to make someone want to say hi. Look at names used and most give some clue to why the person is there. Businesses have billboards, you need one as well.

The other bad feature is that if you are involved in a chat, you don't see what's happening in the Lobby and who has entered. Yes, you can switch back to the lobby but it would be nice if both the Lobby and Private chats could be displayed on the screen at the same time to give a better view of activity. There certainly is enough room on a page to do that but I understand that our chat is a very simple one for whatever reason.

Posted: **Wed Sep 02, 2009 10:56 pm**

Hello to everyone and thank you for all the replies. I would like to make a few comments about the replys I got. Some where compassionate and some were not. some understood what I was saying and some did not. Some of us try each day to enlarge our scope on the world and some do not. There are many paradoxes here. If we are asking for help, love, consideration, acceptance from each other and from the world. It is best to give the same to each other and to the world. spankey2

Posted: **Thu Sep 03, 2009 2:24 pm**

[cut]

clysmaniac (imported) wrote: Wed Sep 02, 2009 9:13 pm The other bad feature is that if you are involved in a chat, you don't see what's happening in the Lobby and who has entered. Yes, you can switch back to the lobby but it would be nice if both the Lobby and Private chats could be displayed on the screen at the same time to give a better view of activity. There certainly is enough room on a page to do that but I understand that our chat is a very simple one for whatever reason.

The chat is actually an IRC channel and what you see as a 'page' is a small set of what is available when an IRC client is used.

If this doesn't make sense, google: IRC chat

Good Luck

markle

Posted: **Thu Sep 03, 2009 2:34 pm**

[cut]

spankey2 (imported) wrote: Tue Sep 01, 2009 10:40 pm I don't want to upset anyone. I WANT TO WAKE YOU ALL UP. WE ARE MUCH ALONE IN OUR CHOICES IN THIS WORLD. WE NEED TO SUPPORT EACH OTHER WITH ALL WE CAN, WE NEED TO HELP ONE ANOTHER ON OUR JOURNEY'S

spankey2 aka Scottie

re, its the net.

I attend a self help group and have for a nearly a quarter century. Some folks know all the right words and it's my experience they may be back later and right or wrong, initially I pay them little heed to them till they appear regularly for some months.

Although I can't currently point to posted data, I have read sites like 'youtube' and 'flikr' have millions of hits daily and record less than 1 percent of those hits as posters to the sites.

This is all to say we are for the most part voyeurs.

I'd offer this tip for chat: Participate in Lobby, even if its inane prattle. Over time subjects with some meat will come up. YEA

Best

markle

Posted: **Thu Sep 03, 2009 2:54 pm**

markle (imported) wrote: Thu Sep 03, 2009 2:34 pm I'd offer this tip for chat: Participate in Lobby, even if its inane prattle. Over time subjects with some meat will come up. YEA

I'll offer more tips.

Use a REAL IRC program. That Java chat sucks, frankly. With a real program like mIRC, you can have multiple windows open at the same time so you can watch both.

Be active. Don't just sit there waiting for people to start chats with you. (Hint: That's what everyone else is doing, too.)

Yes, inane prattle in Lobby is a good thing. The more you chat, the more people will chat with you. Even the regulars like inane chatter.

Don't open private chats with "A/S/L?" Even "Hi" works better than that.

If you're there for JO fantasy, admit it. Many of the regulars have a fairly strongly-tuned sense for bullshit. (Not aimed at you, Scottie, although I know I'm beating my head against a well in regards to those it is aimed at.)

Anyone else have other tips?

Posted: **Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:27 pm**

TheOtherSide (imported) wrote: Thu Sep 03, 2009 2:54 pm I'll offer more tips.

Use a REAL IRC program. That Java chat sucks, frankly. With a real program like mIRC, you can have multiple windows open at the same time so you can watch both.

Be active. Don't just sit there waiting for people to start chats with you. (Hint: That's what everyone else is doing, too.)

Yes, inane prattle in Lobby is a good thing. The more you chat, the more people will chat with you. Even the regulars like inane chatter.

Don't open private chats with "A/S/L?" Even "Hi" works better than that.

If you're there for JO fantasy, admit it. Many of the regulars have a fairly strongly-tuned sense for bullshit. (Not aimed at you, Scottie, although I know I'm beating my head against a well in regards to those it is aimed at.)

Anyone else have other tips?

YES, if you come into the lobby and want to go into PC, ask the person first. Example. "persons name, can I pvt you?" always works better.

In the lobby if you have a question state it so. "could I get some help with an issue I am having?" then wait for the response, now there looking at you, now ask your question.

Remember its not about you, join in and get involved with the chat.

Look at it this way, you are out walking you see a group of 7 or 8 guys chatting and you walk up and start chatting with them, they don't know you, what do you think there response will be, the chat is no different. Take your time. Be nice.

River

Posted: **Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:00 pm**

spankey2 (imported) wrote: Wed Sep 02, 2009 10:56 pm Hello to everyone and thank you for all the replies. I would like to make a few comments about the replys I got. Some where compassionate and some were not. some understood what I was saying and some did not. Some of us try each day to enlarge our scope on the world and some do not. There are many paradoxes here. If we are asking for help, love, consideration, acceptance from each other and from the world. It is best to give the same to each other and to the world. spankey2

Just like in the real world ! Most people are mainly interested in me, myself, and I (apparently unlike Ted Kennedy).

E-mail, bulletin boards, and chat rooms have an inherent flaw.

It is impossible to express real human compassion, although emotions such as hate and negativity come through loud and clear.

A word, a phrase, to one may seem fully comprehensible and meaningful to some, but to others it may seem shallow, empty, perhaps hostile.

If anyone is looking for EVERYONE to be caring, loving, compassionate, with empathy, they will need to find another planet on which to live for everone is not like that. "Thick skin" is needed to survive in this world.

On the EA you have an opportunity to be totally open and honest about who you are, your background, thoughts, feelings, wants, desires (but don't self-incriminate yourself). You will find people who can emphatisize, and people who have never walked in your shoes and can't relate to your experiences. And you may find ideas, opinions, comments that can help you look at life in a new way. If you get a reply you don't like, ignore it; someone else's life isn't your life, your points of reference are different.

Life on the EA, like life in general, is an adventure.

I owe these quotes to the person who wrote them; as soon as I find the book, title, and author I will give them credit:

"An adventure is any intentional experience that substantially alters our perspective long enough to see things that we have never before seen, and to see familar things in ways we have never before seen them."

"Real adventure is an inside job"

"There is but one single certainty in life: Uncertainty"

"Happiness is best seen out of the corner of our eye. Pursued directly as a primary goal happiness only becomes a source of frustration. Yet it is likely to blossom fully in our lives as a by product of a life of service. After some exploration we learn that our greatest joy comes not from self-seeking, but in serving others."

"If it seems to you that others are going about and living their lives too slowly, it might be because you are going about and living your life too fast."

Posted: **Fri Sep 04, 2009 5:55 am**

Hello Scottie, I didn't realise that yuo ar Spankey2 here. I have read your story about the castration by injection and you have provided this community a GREAT service of sharing your experience with us as a "cautionary tale".

Someone said something about Screen Names earlier and I have to say they hit it on the head. In the chat rooms I get so many people that want to have some HOT chat with me, and I'm jsut not interested in that. But back to the point.... Spankey2 just screams "wanker talker" and if you had IM'd me I probably would have ignored you due to your screen name. You very well may have had something else in mind when you choose it but I would bet many others are going to peg it as I do (wrongly?).

Anyways, it's good to hear from you and I'm sure many people here have wondered what ever became of you. PM me anytime you wish!

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