EA Forums

Posted: **Mon Mar 15, 2010 2:41 pm**

I am curious as to others experiences and self awareness when it comes to gender issues. Many know from childhood that their bodies are not in sync with who they are. Others, like myself, take a long time to figure out what is wrong.

I was wondering if self awareness is more common with younger generations. Or does it vary between individuals. I have always been impressed that many younger people have a better sense of who they are.

So my question is, "at what age did you know you did not fit into the norm"? I was in my mid twenties when I realized things were not as they should.

Posted: **Mon Mar 15, 2010 3:09 pm**

Either fifteen or sixteen.

It's an ugly story that I don't really speak of and I won't here. But that was my age as near as I can tell. The thing was, there was no one I wanted sexually in high school. I wasn't until I got into college and then I kept hitting situations where I knew I was attracted to men and not women.

Posted: **Mon Mar 15, 2010 4:45 pm**

I believe that I started thinking about having my body hair and genitals removed as soon as puberty started for me (it may have been earlier). The feelings of wanting my body to be different got stronger in high school, and I started doing ballet, shaving my body, and wearing more feminine underwear. I think I did all of that as a way to cope with having a male body. It was also in high school that I started seriously researching castration.

Posted: **Mon Mar 15, 2010 6:11 pm**

Well I think when I was really young my middle gender wasn't as incongruent with my body, although I did have dreams where I cut it off. SO there must have been something going on.

I know that at least on some level I had an understanding that I was different, and I really didn't want to be different. I remember worrying that I wouldn't go through puberty, and I think that was the concern over being different. It was when puberty actually started that I felt something was really wrong.

Of course there were a lot of other things going on at the same time. I was attracted to the same sex, my parents were getting divorced, and to top it off I was dyslexic. I pretty much got through high school by self medicating. I'm not complaining, just sharing how I got through it. These days I am not too interested in drugs. I just want to make my body a little closer to my gender.

Posted: **Mon Mar 15, 2010 6:49 pm**

tugon (imported) wrote: Mon Mar 15, 2010 2:41 pm I am curious as to others experiences and self awareness when it comes to gender issues. Many know from childhood that their bodies are not in sync with who they are. Others, like myself, take a long time to figure out what is wrong.

I was wondering if self awareness is more common with younger generations. Or does it vary between individuals. I have always been impressed that many younger people have a better sense of who they are.

So my question is, "at what age did you know you did not fit into the norm"? I was in my mid twenties when I realized things were not as they should.

I think it all varies from person to person. That is my impression reading or hearing many personal stories. But it is also a sign of modern society that younger people realise much earlier what is wrong with with them. I think it is due to readily available data and references, so they see similar cases and don't feel like they are the only in the world. They can easily find alike people and communicate, which was not possible earlier, or was very difficult. Still the pressure from surroundig environment hasn't evaporated. It is still there. We will see more conflicts. Mostly inside the person. As at younger age they are more prone to other opinions. How he or she is expected to behave by peers, family, society and how he or she feels inside. This could increase suicide rate. It is not even about gender issues it is about suxuality too.

Just my speculation.

Posted: **Mon Mar 15, 2010 10:32 pm**

I can only speak for my own case with TG issues. I can't remember exactly, but at the latest I became aware at 8 or 9 years. At that age my CDing started. At 12 to 14 years I had a girlfriend who wore miniskirts and pantyhose. I always wanted to be like her and wear such clothes. But she didn't arouse me as a woman.

Posted: **Tue Mar 16, 2010 1:18 am**

I would guess early to mid teens is when I was totally aware and started acting on my desires

Posted: **Tue Mar 16, 2010 3:26 am**

I knew at age 7 or 8 that the balls did not belong, it took tell age 54 to do something about it.

River

Posted: **Tue Mar 16, 2010 4:09 am**

I was partially aware as early as 3 or 4. However, due in part to my tomboyish personality and preference for women, it never occured to me that I wasn't actually a boy when the social conditioning started.

Furthermore being in a society where even homosexuality was frowned upon, and where kids are often taught that "it is just a phase" I bought into it for awhile, so any sort of faint instinctive feelings telling me that despite having the right personality and orientation for a conventional male, I was living as the wrong gender socially, was ignored and suppressed with the justification being that those instincts were just part of that "phase".

But of course, once I'd hit my 20s and the instinctive feeling did not just "go away" I begin to realise that what society had tried to condition me with were lies, prejudice and ignorance.

Personally I think it is very very injust and ignorant to say that children are not born with a particular gender. They are, even if they don't realise what gender they are, and that to refer to a transperson's pre-transitional life with the wrong pronoun is doing them all a very big disservice.

Posted: **Tue Mar 16, 2010 5:14 am**

At least by age 5, maybe earlier.

Posted: **Tue Mar 16, 2010 8:09 am**

I want to clarify my post. When I was young I was aware that I was not your typical boy. I did not like sports or other aggressive play. I did think life would be easier as a girl but did not have that desire to become one.

It was not until my early 20's that I realized it was my testicles causing me problems. Then it was not until I was 41 that I said goodbye to them. Even though I would not have had a way to be castrated I wonder if knowing the source of my problems earlier might have helped.

Posted: **Tue Mar 16, 2010 8:26 am**

For me it was between 5 and 6. I used to go to my female cousins house on a regular basis, dress up in her dresses and play with her dolls. Then one day I went downstairs and asked my mother whether I could have a dress like my cousins, while wearing my cousins dress. My mother gave me the worse slapping of my life (my butt hurt for days) up to that date, and threated that my father would do far worse if he was to find out. It was then that I was told it was not (therefore, I was not) the "norm". Needless to say I was never allowed upstairs with my cousin again.

It was not until I was 11 years old that I understood what my true self was/is. Still I live my life a lie for the moment. Others are from a judgemental generation. At least society (although not perfect) has in general a better understanding of the individuals right to determine their own life choice. The bigotry I witnessed and experience in my teen years, has thankfully subsided for younger people. In addition, youngsters are encouraged to express themselves, and self confidence is promoted. My generation, kids were seen and not heard (so much for the good old days).

As society progresses, and the "norm" becomes of no importance, people will hopefully be allowed to live the lives they want (without harm to others).

x Toni x :-\

Posted: **Tue Mar 16, 2010 10:43 am**

Toni (imported) wrote: Tue Mar 16, 2010 8:26 am For me it was between 5 and 6. I used to go to my female cousins house on a regular basis, dress up in her dresses and play with her dolls. Then one day I went downstairs and asked my mother whether I could have a dress like my cousins, while wearing my cousins dress. My mother gave me the worse slapping of my life (my butt hurt for days) up to that date, and threated that my father would do far worse if he was to find out. It was then that I was told it was not (therefore, I was not) the "norm". Needless to say I was never allowed upstairs with my cousin again.

It was not until I was 11 years old that I understood what my true self was/is. Still I live my life a lie for the moment. Others are from a judgemental generation. At least society (although not perfect) has in general a better understanding of the individuals right to determine their own life choice. The bigotry I witnessed and experience in my teen years, has thankfully subsided for younger people. In addition, youngsters are encouraged to express themselves, and self confidence is promoted. My generation, kids were seen and not heard (so much for the good old days).

As society progresses, and the "norm" becomes of no importance, people will hopefully be allowed to live the lives they want (without harm to others).

x Toni x :-\

I became aware our newest deeply and thoughtfully and I hope will risk humorously

sharing uploader deserved something more then one green dash.

Bathe in your new Sun burst and golden dashes, Dear.

Moi

PS By 7 or earlier I knew I was an outcast, but not as most describe here.

Just diff. Not a gender thing. Learning disabled. Bored by most people.

Posted: **Wed Mar 17, 2010 9:50 am**

My recollection is that I was about ten when I knew that I was different. I grew up without a good father figure (my Dad had died) and I was horribly bullied. I was constantly told that I was a fa**ot. It was a different time. Small town repressive thinking. I am pretty proud of the kid up the street who felt comfortable enough to tell me he was Bi.

Posted: **Wed Mar 17, 2010 2:01 pm**

Sorry to hear that 'bout your dad.

Ya do know thats got nothing to do with being gay or trans or different tho.

they did a study and looked thru the family backgrounds of a lot of gay or trans people, and there was no one single factor that they all had in common with regards to family background.

I come from a very stable supportive and loving family. I'm lesbian AND trans.

Posted: **Thu Mar 18, 2010 3:11 am**

As a child (pre-pubescent) and then more so following puberty, I was fascinated by the thought of losing my male genitalia - not trans-gender though; just no dick or balls.

So when a doc told me at age 24 that I'd be better off if my balls were removed and while I was initially shocked that a fascination might become a reality, I knew the following day that I'd be OK with their loss. I need to add that I had no desire to alter my gender, and the promise that I might have my balls amputated and retain my maleness w/ HRT made the option something I wanted badly.

A penectomy would complete the childhood fantasy.

tugon (imported) wrote: Mon Mar 15, 2010 2:41 pm I am curious as to others experiences and self awareness when it comes to gender issues. ....So my question is, "at what age did you know you did not fit into the norm"? I was in my mid twenties when I realized things were not as they should.

EA Forums

Self Awareness

Self Awareness

Re: Self Awareness

Re: Self Awareness

Re: Self Awareness

Re: Self Awareness

Re: Self Awareness

Re: Self Awareness

Re: Self Awareness

Re: Self Awareness

Re: Self Awareness

Re: Self Awareness

Re: Self Awareness

Re: Self Awareness

Re: Self Awareness

Re: Self Awareness

Re: Self Awareness