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My wife would like it if there was a chemical that reduced my libido but did not completely chemically castrate me. Is there such a thing

Sure. Androcur at just a very low dose would certainly reduce your libido but not castrate you. Other hair growth meds would too.

I would second hkeunuch's suggestion to try a lower dose of a chemical castration drug. A lower dose may lower your T levels some but not to eunuch levels. Keep in mind though that because everyone's body chemistry is different, you may still lose too much of your libido with lowered T levels

If you want non-T reducing options, you might look into medications that lower libido as a side effect. I'm sure there are others, but SSRIs are the only one I can think of now. Many have reported success with using SSRIs to lower libido.

I do wish you the best in realizing your goal

Does she just want you to bug her for sex less or are there other things going on like fetishes or affairs that have her concerned? How old are you both?

JessicaH (imported) wrote: Thu Oct 14, 2010 12:57 pm Does she just want you to bug her for sex less or are there other things going on like fetishes or affairs that have her concerned? How old are you both?

Stacy, There are other things going on. I recently came out to her as a bisexual. She thinks a lowering of my libido will help me keep that part of me under better control. We are an older couple, both in our 60's

Is it the case then that she dose not want you to go on to have any sexuall contact with other men,if you have just came out to her as being bi.

Sounds like she might not be able to handle the fact that you are not just looking or thinking about her,but that you might be thinking of other men that you might see or be in contact with.

chemcast scot has a point. Your wife's probably very worried about the implications of your coming out as bisexual. I expect it's making her feel insecure.

Who's idea was it to look into libido reduction? Hers or yours? Which one of you found this website? I'm asking because I feel that if it's entirely her idea that you seek libido reduction then I'd lobby you not to go that way, but instead try to work out what it is YOU feel like doing (if anything) about your bisexuality and let her know where she stands. Let her know what you feel like doing, if anything.

But if it's mostly you who's thinking of libido reduction, and she's supportive of the idea, then I agree with hkeunuch and plix, in that you could try a very low dose of Androcur (cyproterone acetate) and see how it makes you feel. You must bear in mind though, that everyone's reaction to these drugs is different. In my case, I'm super sensitive to cyproterone acetate: As little as 10mg per week seems to be enough to make me impotent. Other guys have to take more than 100mg per day to get the same effect. But before you go into this it would be sensible to make sure you can't resolve this by talking it through.

If you are going through libido reduction just to "cure" you of being bi, I would suggest that you give this idea a lot more thought.

Reducing your libido includes your libido towards and ability to pleasure your wife. Reducing your libido will reduce your attraction across the board, towards both sexes.

Your being bi is not a result of your having excessive libido.

Being bi poses no more threat towards your wife as being straight. You could certainly find other women attractive. Ultimately, it is a matter of the bond between you and your wife.

Although I suggested Androcur and have taken it myself, it is a very powerful drug. I took it at a very low dose. And I suffered from a lot of bad side effects -- from the more serious problems like anemia and depression to the less dangerous yet just as troubling, like loss of energy and drive, weight gains, and being very emotional. Some are reversible after stopping the drug. But weight gains are so hard to get rid of when the energy levels are still much lower than before.

There has better be a lot of very strong and good reasons before trying it. For that, only you can decide.

She will not feel more secure when you loose interest in sex with her either. It will change the relationship dynamic from you always initiating sex and making her feel wanted in that way to her initiating sex. Women don't usually like when that power is taken from them.

One thing that I'm wondering is, what was your motivation in telling her that you are bi? Were you hoping she'd encourage you to try it? How did the conversation come up and how did it go?

There are a lot of guys that ar "sorta" bi and turn totally straight as soon as they cum and kinda weird out and may not try it a gain for a long time. How do you feel about intimate contact right after you orgasm?

If it's more on the line of a fetish kind of thing, an SSRI like prozac may be better for you than an anti-androgen. So many side effects with anti-androgens...

Thank for the good suggestions. I came out because I felt she needed to know. Of course it was upsetting to her, but in a strange way it has brought us closer together. We certainly talk more and not just about my bisexuality.

I was thinking about reduced libido when she brought it up. Her reson for thinking about it was she thought it might make it easier for me to deal with the situation while we resolve the real issues. We agree that being bi is just part of who I am, but we need to decide what is acceptable to both of us. Besides, my libido seems more appropriate to an 18 year old and to to a man of my age.

Soon I will be meeting with a psychologist, it will be interesting to see what he recommends

farnorthwestguy, I am in a very similar situation. I have fought with my Bi tendencies for all of my adult life and until recently, i thought i had to either live with my sexuality in secret or just come out of the closet. my wife is aware of my bisexual nature but she has rightly taken the stance of "when we got married you promised to be faithful" and i really can't argue that point. I recently ran into articles about depo-provera and I have researched it quite a bit. my wife is well into menopause and she also takes drugs for her arthritis that have brought her libido down to nothing.

I have started looking into how to get a prescription for this and you are right to seek out a psycologist for this. I'm really interested in how the visit goes, please keep us informed.

also I'd love to hear from other men that have secured a prescription for depo and what their experience has been like.

People in their 60's still having sex? Who knew? I do believe that many women after menopause begin to lose interest in sex, not saying all, but it's a fact that many do. I would also guess that being in your 60's, your "t" levels have dropped some already, but apparently not that much. If you begin to use a chemical castration drug, you might have to try differing amounts until you find that place which suits you. We're not all the same and what works for one might not work for others.

At first, during puberty, I felt I was gay.Later I got married and thought it would cause me to go stright. This was in the 60,s when that was the thought of the time. It did not work. I had satisfactory sex with her for many years but still fantasied about other men. I had infrequient meeting with guys, usually one night stands, but several long relationships.

After she found some gay mags I admitted I was bi

We went to counciling together and the councelor told my wife if I admitted I was bi then I was interested in men and therefore I was really gay. I admitted that it was so. After a lot of crying and strained relationships, we came to the conclusion that we still loved each other, just not in a sexual way.

That was 20 years ago. we are still together, although no sex. I masturbate to get relief, but I am looking to elimate my interest in sex all to gether,ie no libido at all.

I believe it will make me much happier to be a enuch and no have any balls what so ever. HRT will make being a enuch have less side effects:dong:

As a eunuch, I do believe that castration does give one the ability to control the libido. I can dictate how much "t" I want my body to have or not to have. However, I've come to realize that as I've lowered and maintained a low amount of circulating testosterone, my body has become comfortable with it and has adjusted to it. Now, after several years of using this low amount of compounded testosterone cream, I cannot go higher in the dose without confusing my body. In other words, my body has adjusted to a low amount of "t" and doesn't response well to higher dosages anymore. I actually get nauseated if I use more than what my body is accustomed too, so even if I wanted to add more testosterone, I can't without becoming sick. My penis actually seems to retract and shrink more on higher doses, which would be fine accept for the sick feeling I get. I don't know if this would be true if I took testosterone injections, but I think it would and this might not be true for everyone, but it seems logical that this would happen. Back to the topic.

Testicles do what they do, they manufacture testosterone and there's no way to stop them, except through chemicals (Androcur, female hormones) or castration. Well, you can abuse them and damage them as I did at first, but that's not the ideal way to lower your testosterone. You might want to start with Androcur or something similar before you proceed with physical castration. Once you're castrated, there is no going back and though HRT helps to replace testosterone, the cyclic cycle of how the testicles manufacture testosterone cannot be matched or duplicated. You can and will adapt to the artificial application of testosterone to your body (HRT), but it won't feel the same initially. Over time, it becomes the new normal, and the benefit is control.