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Ever since I can remember, I've felt compelled and pushed to remove my testicles, which I've had done, and now, as a eunuch, I'm feeling the compulsion to removed my penis as well. I just can't figure out what's pushing me to do this. On the one hand, I know that's it's not quote normal to want to rid oneself of a healthy organ, so am I abnormal? Am I transgendered? Have I gotten caught up in an unhealthy delusional fantasy? Am I sane? I have seen several psychologists, not much help. I spent a week in a psychiatric hospital because I confessed to one of the psychologists that I was strongly thinking of cutting off my penis, but the desire to remove it hasn't abated. Some days I don't think about removing it at all and some days, like today, the desire is strong. I'm going to make an appointment today with another medical professional, urologist, etc., and at least prepare them for what seems inevitable. Anyone else feel like this? Where is this coming from?

Hash (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 29, 2011 10:41 pm Ever since I can remember, I've felt compelled and pushed to remove my testicles, which I've had done, and now, as a eunuch, I'm feeling the compulsion to removed my penis as well. I just can't figure out what's pushing me to do this. On the one hand, I know that's it's not quote normal to want to rid oneself of a healthy organ, so am I abnormal? Am I transgendered? Have I gotten caught up in an unhealthy delusional fantasy? Am I sane? I have seen several psychologists, not much help. I spent a week in a psychiatric hospital because I confessed to one of the psychologists that I was strongly thinking of cutting off my penis, but the desire to remove it hasn't abated. Some days I don't think about removing it at all and some days, like today, the desire is strong. I'm going to make an appointment today with another medical professional, urologist, etc., and at least prepare them for what seems inevitable. Anyone else feel like this? Where is this coming from?

I would suggest you read about Body Integrity Identity Disordere (BIID) - you sound classic.

Hash, your post pretty much describes me. I always had a drive to have my testicles removed (I did, am now a eunuch), and I've developed a desire to have my penis removed as well, some days stronger, other days not so much.

I've heard this happens often with we eunuchs.

--LT

Although I'm having the testicles removed in June, I don't feel any terrible dislike for my penis. Although once the nuts are gone, there's no telling where my feelings might go. Honestly, if I ever developed enough of a posterior to fully pass as female, I might want to be rid of the remaining bulge in the front of my pants. My other hope is that without the testicles, the penis will atrophy further and present no bulge whatsoever.

I'm scheduling an appointment with an endocrinologist in the next few weeks to get my T and E levels assessed before the orchiectomy. Then I'll do the same a month or two afterwards, simply for my own personal knowledge and benefit. If I experience further mental and/or physical changes, it will be helpful to already understand where my levels are.

I'm still intact, so i don't know if i'm well accepted here. In my case my submissiveness is compelling for me about the thought to get fixed.

boytofix20 (imported) wrote: Sun May 01, 2011 3:06 am I'm still intact, so i don't know if i'm well accepted here. In my case my submissiveness is compelling for me about the thought to get fixed.

You are accepted here. Most folks who come here are not castrated, but many have the desire to be. Welcome.

boytofix20 (imported) wrote: Sun May 01, 2011 3:06 am I'm still intact, so i don't know if i'm well accepted here. In my case my submissiveness is compelling for me about the thought to get fixed.

Welcome. I wanted to share that I was also submissive but that desire was driven by T. Once the testicles were removed and my T levels dropped so did my desire to submit. I have never used HRT. I went from being submissive to an outspoken bitch. Who knew?

tugon (imported) wrote: Sun May 01, 2011 3:29 am I have never used HRT. I went from being submissive to an outspoken bitch. Who knew?

You say that like it's a bad thing.

While I also had good medical reasons to have my testicles severed and had wanted to for many years before I finally went under the knife, I never thought I'd develop a desire to have my cock severed as well. I think a lot about it as well. The desire comes and goes, which is perhaps the way it should be. I do know I could live w/o any dangly bits around the crotch.

Losethem (imported) wrote: Sat Apr 30, 2011 2:20 am Hash, your post pretty much describes me. I always had a drive to have my testicles removed (I did, am now a eunuch), and I've developed a desire to have my penis removed as well, some days stronger, other days not so much.

I've heard this happens often with we eunuchs.

--LT

JeffEunuch (imported) wrote: Sun May 01, 2011 11:09 am While I also had good medical reasons to have my testicles severed and had wanted to for many years before I finally went under the knife, I never thought I'd develop a desire to have my cock severed as well. I think a lot about it as well. The desire comes and goes, which is perhaps the way it should be. I do know I could live w/o any dangly bits around the crotch.

Could our brains be saying subconsiously that without testicles a penis is really no longer needed?

I had the thought at one time that the reason for my depression after my accident, along with complete loss of T for a while, was my brains realization that my purpose as a male had been ended. Or maybe it was just a chemical imbalance!

I have been castrated and have no desire to have my penis removed. It has always been on the smaller end of the spectrum and fits nicely in my panties now. While I do sit at least half the time when I pee, it is really useful when standing is most practical. It still feels good when someone plays or sucks even if it doesn't get erect. I can still have a very occasional orgasm that sometimes is very intense. I was castrated to become more submissive sexually and lose my ability and need for aggressive, penetrative sex. Certainly, I could adapt if it were removed but that is not something I seek to have done.

For each there must be a different combination of causes why one craves to have body parts removed, particularly genitals. DNA, life's experiences, brain waves? Surely beyond my ability to explain why. I don't know what caused me to crave castration since puberty, so I surely could not know why someone else craves the same, or to have their penis removed, especially someone who is not doing it because of a transgender goal. I can add a little to this by saying when I took Siterone my craving to be castrated diminished. And since I destroyed testosterone production by using alcohol injections, and reduced TRT to 1/4 of a dose each day, my craving to be castrated is very low. When I was using full dose of TRT I again craved castration. I don't know exactly what my T level is now. Initially I felt I must keep some T in my body to avoid the negative side effects of having no T. But as I continually lowered the dose of T I have started to feel much more at ease, calm, relaxed, unagitated, no interest in sex, practically impossible to get erect, and less fixated on wanting castration. Never had an interest in having penis removed. I seem to have transitioned from desperately craving castration to, sure, if it were possible why not; with small hard balls that are insensitive to touch or pain, removing or keeping them is fine. With no interest in sex and no erections, in time I could develop the same ho hum feeling about the penis. It's just in the way, with no purpose. The sensitivity in the foreskin is annoying at times, though not sexually arousing. If I were offered the opportunity to have all removed for reasonable cost, it would be acceptable, but, given that any surgery comes with risks, I might just decide to live with the dangling participles and no big deal.