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On some level I think I always knew that castration was often on the minds of other boys. I knew this as sometimes my friends would let a remark slip out. But it wasn't until I found the EA that I first realized that castration was a "thing", that it was a fetish for many. How about you? When did you first know?

I honestly don't know when I knew about castration exactly. I mean I knew what the balls were for and did. I know I knew about vasectomy at a young age from television. I was aware of Crossdressers and Transsexuals before castration. Although you could make the case of since I knew about SRS I knew about castration. However I never thought about it as a separate thing by itself until much later in life. Possibly not until i discovered the EA site as an offshoot in my interest in TG subjects.

I did know about historical eunuchs and castrati, but didn't think of men going out of there way in the 20th century wanted to be castrated.

*shrug*

I think you're right, but I would not know a specific moment or statement so quickly. It is true that castration was hanging in the atmosphere, as it were. And there was when I was desperate looking on the internet for men who had been neutered or wanted to be castrated.

Maybe there was such a moment, but not as I expected. An older friend who once said to me so out of nowhere, that there were groups of men in the United States who were castrated.This older friend saw castration also as a desire for purity. That desire for purity of such a group of castrated men was also my desire, I wanted to get castrated there in the group, being a eunuch in a group of eunuchs. Without me ever showing anything about my castration desire, this older friend seemed to know my secret desire. He said that he had wanted a sexchange from man to woman. Changed his mind and did not find a gender change with the corresponding castration the right choice in the desire for purity. And and that for me too castration was not correct. I listened to him, but did not respond. It was my secret and with a negative judgment it had to stay my secret. - it is amazing how such a thing can hang in the atmosphere.

The big change came when I found, let us say the section "castration" on the internet, and with that through Losethem the Eunuch Archive.

The older friend has passed away, but he still seems to say to me: "Don't do it".

But the desire for a castration tastes so sweet.

I may have mentioned it before but I can distinctly recall the very moment I became aware of castration and also aware that others knew of it. I was just 11 and at school, I was with a group of friends and we were talking about balls. I was well aware of sex and what balls did but the idea that they could be lost or taken had somehow not occurred to me. I was aware of the burgeoning manliness and the attraction of girls to me. We got onto to the topic of balls and then losing them to become a eunuch... a new term to me. A friend more worldly wise told me to read James Bond Casino royal if I wanted to know what a eunuch was. He told me a little but I didnt want to seem too interested and I am not sure about the depth of his knowledge at the time. From then on I was hooked on castration as a topic and found it erotic in terms of what it can take away either forced or willing. I am sure this moment shaped me quite a lot, but guess I was bound to have found out eventually and may have had a similar reaction.

tjstill (imported) wrote: Fri Jul 06, 2018 4:57 am I became aware of castration a

t age 11, but I didn't think about it much. I did not know anyone who was castrated. castration seemed so distant and unimportant. But somehow when puberty started, I knew that castration could stop it. But it was something so impossible I didn't think much about it. Until at age 15 castration became a "thing" for me, when I realized there were many eunuchs in history and there are eunuchs even modern times. I wouldn't say, that I was turned into eunuch wannabe, instead, something that was opened in me by reading that book about eunchs, that has been inside me since I was born. It is like you are not turned into gay, you just discover it in yourself.

As a young boy what confused me most about castration and nullification is that I saw it as something that was both empowering and diminishing all at the same time. Empowering in that as a eunuch you'd have complete control over your body and your mind wouldn't be ruled by lust and the constant need for sex. Diminishing in that there'd simply be less of you and that you wouldn't be able act as a male.

I'd have loved to have been able to read stories about contemporary American boys who had the same thoughts and concerns as I did. But I'm afraid that if I did those stories might have compelled me to engage in risky behavior.

I don't think I was aware of it until a short quick incident that occurred during y 9th grade wrestling practice (13 or 14 at the time) whereas I was smaller than most, I was in the lowest weight group, but there were not more than one other guy I could wrestle in that class, so i was always having to wrestler the bigger kids. One guy had pretty much tied me in knots while joking to his friend because, I wasn't much of a challenge for him. I don't recall the exact position I was in but my knees were pushed up by my chin and he had his arm wrapped around my legs/torso with his head in the general area of my crotch/buttocks. (yes, heroic the position was not) And as I was struggling to figure a way out of this hold, he said to his friend... "We could cut these off and he'll never be a man" while doing a quick light flick against the ball sack. My mind mentally went SPROING! and it was always a desire after that.

Around the age of 23 when a testicle was smacked up and swollen. After that I forgot about it until ... I seriously thought about it again in my mid 30's when I found the EA.

betamale (imported) wrote: Tue Jul 10, 2018 3:17 am I don't think I was aware of it until a short quick incident that occurred during y 9th grade wrestling practice (13 or 14 at the time) whereas I was smaller than most, I was in the lowest weight group, but there were not more than one other guy I could wrestle in that class, so i was always having to wrestler the bigger kids. One guy had pretty much tied me in knots while joking to his friend because, I wasn't much of a challenge for him. I don't recall the exact position I was in but my knees were pushed up by my chin and he had his arm wrapped around my legs/torso with his head in the general area of my crotch/buttocks. (yes, heroic the position was not) And as I was struggling to figure a way out of this hold, he said to his friend... "We could cut these off and he'll never be a man" while doing a quick light flick against the ball sack. My mind mentally went SPROING! and it was always a desire after that.

Gee that would make a great opening to a fiction story.

I wonder how the larger boy would have felt had he only known the life changing implications of his "suggestion" had on you.

Around 9-10, when my dad starts to threaten me to have me circumcised. I had not any fu **** g clue of what a circumcision is, so I thought about a partial penectomy.

I suffered a bad phimosis, and my parents tried to made it looser. My father actually thought it was a whim issue, as if I could retract my foreskin if I would. The circumcision threat was ,, in his mind, a good incentive to convince me to uncover my glans, but he just seeded in my mind this kink

Yep, the highway to hell is paved of good intentions. I'm sure, your father has never thought that would ever triggered your castration fantasy, same for mothers who threaten to cut their son's penis.

I only found out that other men were excited about genital mutilations at 40 y.o.. Prior to that I thought that I was the only men in the world to have such fantasy. When I got internet, my first search on the the web was for castration. I was relief when I discovered BME and EA.

CircItaly (imported) wrote: Wed Jul 11, 2018 4:46 am Around 9-10, when my dad starts to threaten me to have me circumcised. I had not any fu **** g clue of what a circumcision is, so I thought about a partial penectomy.

I suffered a bad phimosis, and my parents tried to made it looser. My father actually thought it was a whim issue, as if I could retract my foreskin if I would. The circumcision threat was ,, in his mind, a good incentive to convince me to uncover my glans, but he just seeded in my mind this kink

As a boy I was never threatened with castration, not even the hint of if. If my dad had suggested anything like that to me I shudder to think how much more screwed up I might be!

I'm not too much messed up, at least since I embrace this emasculation kink! I was aroused even back at the time, at that age I couldn't handle some powerful erection I got during medical checkup! My honor was saved by the doctor who explained my dad that the erection come from my hypersensitive glans.

Back in the day I was too frightened about the loss of my precious pecker to really enjoy the whole experience.

It's similar to another post. I was aware of it in my 12.

I guess I was more or less pushed into true awareness of castration at age 12 when a doctor discovered I had a hernia and an undescended testicle. I had heard boys talking about balls but it never dawned on me that I should have two instead of just the one. Also before that around age 8, I had discovered that I could push that one up inside me and make it appear I didn't have any balls which was a look I liked. Anyway, back to age 12. I was at an Army hospital getting a physical for summer camp, the first year they had required them. (I was a dependent) When the doctor did the hernia check, he discovered the testicle up in my abdomen. Because of Army regulations at the time, I was referred to a civilian urologist. After he examined me, I still remember the discussion in his office with my mother. Since my mom was a Registered Nurse with a BS from the University of Tennessee Medical School, he talked far more technical with her than normal. I remember them talking about three different options along with the hernia repair. First was an orchipexy, bringing the testicle down in an attempt to keep it in the scrotum. Second was a unilateral orchiectomy on the right side. My mother asked the doctor about the possible cancer risk and would bilateral castration be a better option. That was the moment castration was put in my mind and I masturbated thinking about it for the first time that night. What was eventually done was the orchipexy and I was in the hospital for a week or so with a cord attached to my testicle, running out the scrotum and taped to my leg. The orchipexy didn't do any good since the testicle atrophied and moved back up into the inguinal canal. I do remember how horrified my friends were about surgery on the balls and yet how they seemed to be fascinated by it.

Hopeful1 (imported) wrote: Sun Aug 05, 2018 11:15 am My mother asked the doctor about the possible cancer risk and would bilateral castration be a better option. That was the moment castration was put in my mind and I masturbated thinking about it for the first time that night.

Hi Hopeful1

It's interesting how much attitudes have changed over a relatively short period of time. Not so long ago the castration of young boys wasn't the taboo subject it is today. Do you remember how the doctor reacted to your mom's suggestion? My guess would be that he wasn't crazy about the idea of castrating you but, at the same time, he wasn't particularly shocked or horrified either. I can only imagine the effect that conversation must have had on you.

Atreyu

Atreyu69 (imported) wrote: Tue Aug 07, 2018 2:55 am Hi Hopeful1

It's interesting how much attitudes have changed over a relatively short period of time. Not so long ago the castration of young boys wasn't the taboo subject it is today. Do you remember how the doctor reacted to your mom's suggestion? My guess would be that he wasn't crazy about the idea of castrating you but, at the same time, he wasn't particularly shocked or horrified either. I can only imagine the effect that conversation must have had on you.

Atreyu

No, the doctor wasn't shocked and they did discuss it for a minute or so but in the end the orchipexy won out. Today, I don't think the orchipexy would be considered since the testicle had been in the warmer area of the body for all that time instead of the cooler area of the scrotum. Pretty much a certainty the testicle wouldn't survive.

Yes, that conversation had a big effect on me. It put the possibility of castration in my mind and it took many years but I finally accomplished it.

H1

I had a similar experience. I didn't knew what a circumcision is untill it was performed on me (12 years old). I thought was a kind of glansectomy, and I suspect my father intentionally favored the misunderstanding. Anyway, when I finally found out the truth, I wasn't relieved but disappointed: somehow I wished to cut more.

Once I was circumcised, suddenly everyone at my school found out about it. I was extremely embarrassed, but the other kids was morbidly curious. They demanded to know how and how much I was cutted. They were fascinated too...

CircItaly (imported) wrote: Tue Aug 07, 2018 3:05 pm I had a similar experience. I didn't knew what a circumcision is untill it was performed on me (12 years old). I thought was a kind of glansectomy, and I suspect my father intentionally favored the misunderstanding.

I get the feeling that some adults (parents, doctors and caregivers) sometimes get a wicked thrill from discussing genital mods (circumcision & castration) within earshot of boys. It's a not too subtle reminder as to who's in charge. If grown ups can have a boy's genitals cut what can't they do?

to be honest I don't blame them. They gave me a such erotic experience, I'm still feel like a character of one of your stories

CircItaly (imported) wrote: Fri Aug 10, 2018 6:07 am to be honest I don't blame them. They gave me a such erotic experience, I'm still feel like a character of one of your stories

Speaking of stories I just submitted San Carlos Island Boy - Part 4.

I know of absolutely no one in real life who was excited about castration and the reason I was excited about it was not due to some kind of sexual fetish or gender dysphoria, but because I thought and still do that it would alleviate my debilitating schizophrenia.

I can remember back starting at around 7 or 8 years old and watching grown men gutting stags and butchering male livestock and joking around with the animals penises, scrotums, and testicles and holding them up to their jeans crotches as if they were their own large dicks and balls, and talking about being hung that big to surprise and pleasure their wives and girlfriends.

As pre puberty boys we couldn t understand why big dicks and balls were so important to grown men, except them saying women enjoyed bigger ones during sex. But my friends and I didn t find it sexually stimulating or even understand the men s enjoying cutting off those penises and testicles and joking around with them until we hit puberty ourselves. Then it suddenly all made perfect sense to all of us and castrations became a hot topic for guys to talk about in secret. Lots of boys would figuratively talk about giving up their left nut for this or that thing they wanted a lot after we hit puberty. The thrill didn t hit us until puberty started and our own testosterone started pumping out of our own balls. Then it all started to make sense to us.

But as pre puberty boys, our own dicks were just for pissing and you had to grow up to use them for impregnating women to have kids with them. Our balls were just extra decorations in our crotches and extra body parts that needed to be protected as extra painful if hit during sports or playing. I can remember asking why we had to wear uncomfortable hard nut cups in our jockstraps for sports and being told it was to protect our tender balls so we could make babies and be fathers when we grew up and got married. That made lots of sense to us since livestock castration kept male animals from breeding. Balls and dicks were for making babies to us kids. No balls, no making any babies. We knew balls made seeds to make babies. No balls, meant no seeds and not able to become fathers.

But our pre puberty balls and sacks couldn t come close to the big low hangers that our dads, older brothers, and most teens and grown men proudly sported. Our hairless tight bags and marble sized balls were obviously not grown up and not capable of making any seeds for us yet. Our balls had to drop and hang low and grow hair on our sacks before ours could make any seeds to become fathers with. We knew losing our balls meant never having any kids from a very young age.

Livestock castrations and watching farm animals and pet dogs and cats breeding and fucking in front of us was interesting to all of us as boys. We knew we d all be doing that with our own balls and dicks ourselves some day to become fathers when we grew up. But it didn t turn us sexually on until puberty.

One huge thing to us as pre puberty boys was comics and movies where the manly heros were always captured and tied up bare chested and spread eagled with their vulnerable crotches always thrust out and obviously open to torture and damage from the bad guys. Westerns, Tarzan, comic book super heros, war movies, and most male oriented action and adventure movies and TV programs always had the heros shirts ripped off and then men tied spread eagle for torturing. That message was very clear to all males of any age, balls are easy to hurt and torture. Being tied up with any male s legs spread out extra wide was clearly for access to his balls and dick for torturing him. No confusion there. The frequency of this in most male action movies and stories proves how much most males of all ages get excited by cock and ball tortures. As kids those were some of the most exciting parts for us, even at very young ages. The heros being stripped of their shirts and tied up was in almost every western and action movie we watched as kids. And we all loved those scenes. Even as kids we knew the bad guys tortured and castrated in real life. The movie and TV censors just wouldn t ever let that be shown. But the story clearly implied the heros would be cock and ball tortured and probably castrated. The boys who read about real war stories, westerns, and ancient wars and slaves would whisper about castrations and cutting off penises really happening to men in those books. All the boys were fadcinated and eager to hear all the details. I remember one time boys being excited by a supposedly true story of men being tied down naked and staked out on the ground in Africa or South America by natives and honey or sugar forced deep into their piss tubes and on their nut sacks to encourage the ants to sting and eat their cocks and balls as a torture. That story really got passed around by the young boys as exciting and dirty forbidden real life knowledge that we all eager enjoyed and pretended to be grossed out and shocked by it. But we all eagerly told other boys about it.

Growing up, most of our dads and uncles got vasectomies after having their kids. Us young boys would overhear our dads mentioning it to other men or moms mentioning it to other women. After pumping out baby after baby, suddenly married couples would stop having any more kids. Us boys knew it was usually the men who got sterilized way more often than the women getting sterilized. That was nearly universal to us boys that grown men get fixed to stop having too many kids. Every man did it we thought. That was normal to us. We all expected to get " fixed " ourselves some day after having our kids. So, obviously we were very interested in learning how men got fixed to be sterile and we were eagerly keeping track of which men and dads we knew who were fixed.

Our dads and the men that we knew for sure were fixed still had both balls hanging in their bags when we saw them naked. So it confused us since livestock got their balls cut off to not have babies. We d ask our dads and coaches and other men if getting sterilized meant they got their balls cut off or what ? We were told they still had their 2 balls but got tubes cut inside their sacks to sterilize them. None of our dads or any of the other men we knew were sterilized ever looked or acted or sounded any different after being sterilized. It appeared completely harmless for men to get sterilized. Us boys thought it was normal and a great thing to get sterilized after having kids.

We would also less often overhear about our grandads and other older men getting castrated for cancer. We d only overhear bits and pieces since castrations were more secret than vasectomies among our parents. It was less talked about and in more hushed conversations away from us kids. We knew a lot less about castrating older men because of that. None of us had the guts to ask our grandads or other older men about getting their balls cut off. We knew it was more of a secret than men openly getting vasectomies and castrations of men were way less talked about, especially near us boys. We just assumed men got castrated by drs in exactly the same ways we d seen livestock get castrated.

I remember hearing of farming and work accidents that castrated men being talked about by adults that we d overhear, especially hanging around men in groups. I remember hearing about one man got too close to some farm equipment and it ripped off his whole scrotum right through his pants ! His balls were hanging bare of his scrotum. That got the boys excited and grossed out hearing that story. The dr put his balls inside his thigh skin instead of his missing scrotum, if I remember it right, since the machine shredded his scrotum. That made us boys careful around machinery hearing that story.

A few guys had much older brothers that already had wives and kids and got vasectomies when we were still young boys. Sometimes the younger brothers would get a few more surgery details to eagerly share with the rest of us boys if their older brothers shared any of their recent surgery details with them. But most of that was pretty simple and short of many details beyond cutting some sperm tubes in his ball sack. But we loved hearing about all that stuff as boys.