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Yep bleeding again!!!! the dam scrotum has formed a fischer and it kinda heals and then blamo it opens up and its a geizer!! so more bull shit. going back to the Hospital today and they are going to numb me up and then stitch me up, but this time they are going to cauterize the small blood vessel that is doing this. So just when I thought that the story was over... it continues. Just an inconvieniance. Scottie

Scottie (imported) wrote: Wed Jan 15, 2003 1:57 am So just when I thought that the story was over... it continues. Just an inconvieniance. Scottie

Well, take it easy and do what the medical staff instruct you to do.

Hi again: Well now lets see. On Friday I am going in to have a re-do on the right side of the scrotum. Seems we have a bleeder. First he needs to cauterize that, and then he wants to open the scrotum and make sure he got all of the dead tissue. He told me that the acid actually joined the testical to the skin wall on the inside of the scrotum. Excuse me... FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!! and now my head just wants to run and hide and not do anything. Let the dam thing bleed me to death. Well Ill keep all of you posted. Gee Im glad that I stayed with the Hospital in Cleveland. NOT!!!!!!!

Scottie,

Did you think there were no side effects?

They will get it all fixed but remember Doctors practice medicine and any surgery is uncertain.

You thought this was over?

It has only started, how soon are you having a bone scan, at least once every two years, for how long you say, for the rest of your life. You should also be taking a calcium supplement.

OH the joys of being a eunuch, welcome to the group. If you have any questions Andrew and I will help all we can.

Congratulations again on the castration, I know you are as happy as the rest of us eunuchs.

River

Feelings are somewhat either amplified or skewed now. No I didnt think of after effects. Who does any way. I knew what I wanted and went out to get it. I just want to be well thats all. People poking jabbing examining taking blood, putting you to sleep asking you questions, medicines to take and on and on and on. No I never thought about it much. I know it's still what I wanted. so onward and upward. I just feel like crying for now and yesterday was angry and then last night didnt know how I felt. So im crying for now and well well see where I am later. Thanks Scottie

Thanks for the reports. Even more thanks for your tenacity.

"

Scottie (imported) wrote: Thu Jan 16, 2003 12:50 am No I didnt think of after effects. Who does any way.

"

Scottie, thanks for such reports as yours, eunuch wannabes, such as myself, can read first hand account of what it is to be castrated, how castration will effect you and the complications that may arise. All of this is of the utmost importance, so thank you and other eunuchs for posting such reports has the one you have written. It will help wannabes realise what is involved in undergoing their desired procedure.

Of course reports from wannabes on their feelings, fustrations and what lead one to desire castration are just as important because they show the steps leading up to the act itself. I hope such reports lead to a greater understanding of 'castration anxiety/fixation/eroticism/etc', but somehow I doubt it will, but then again all we have is hope.

All the very best,

Leon

I wonder what would have happened if Scottie only injected 0.5 mL of lactic acid into his testicles, rather than an excessive amount. Would there still be the problem of the remains of the testicle being fused to the scrotum?

Scottie (imported) wrote: Thu Jan 16, 2003 12:50 am Feelings are somewhat either amplified or skewed now. No I didnt think of after effects.

People poking jabbing examining taking blood, putting you to sleep asking you questions, medicines to take and on and on and on.

I just feel like crying for now and yesterday was angry and then last night didnt know how

Thanks Scottie

In case you didn't notice, you are having mood swings. This is the regular aftermath of surgery like you had and more than that, your hormone levels are screwing around with your feelings. THe most important thing to remember is that this is a result of surgery and hormones.

It is difficult having doctors, nurses, orderlies, assistants, pestering you all day and night and asking silly, stupid questions. The have to ask all those questions.

YOu wanted to inject your testicles with lactic acid and you did! So don't feel bad about it. Now, Both of your testicles are gone and even if it takes a little more time at the hospital, you have succeeded in getting a big thing done in your life. THe past is over and done with, don't obssess over it and don't feel guilty about it.

Dave

Scottie (imported) wrote: Thu Jan 16, 2003 12:50 am Feelings are somewhat either amplified or skewed now. No I didnt think of after effects. Who does any way. I knew what I wanted and went out to get it. I just want to be well thats all. People poking jabbing examining taking blood, putting you to sleep asking you questions, medicines to take and on and on and on. No I never thought about it much. I know it's still what I wanted. so onward and upward. I just feel like crying for now and yesterday was angry and then last night didnt know how I felt. So im crying for now and well well see where I am later. Thanks Scottie

But were you listening? One more time. Your body has been through a traumatic experience, and both body and mind need time to adjust.

As for crying...DO IT! I do it all the time now, and so does every eunuch, and we find this is OK, this is a part of us. Tears can be part of the healing process. It's OK to cry. You don't have to pretend that you are a macho man anymore, remember?;)

And before you get to angry at the medical persons, please remember that, at bottom, they are probably very worried about YOU, and they really do care about YOU, and are doing their best to enable the healing process. Please cooperate with them to the best of your ability. Thank you.

You DO have my phone number, in case you want to call me for support?

Ahhhhhhhhh, the Mood Swings!

Lovely, isn't it?!

Go ahead and cry.

You'll feel better, trust me. When the hormone levels first fell (and stayed low) I found myself very much more emotional than I had been since childhood. I still cry at movies. I would mention some, but I don't wanna spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen them.

heh

Now, take is EASY and concentrate on coping with your new self and know that we're thinking of you.

Yes when I was in the hospital with the infection about 17 days after surgery. I was in the hospital for 4 days and was seen by 38 or 40 medical personal, (doctors, nurses, orderleys, inturns, 3rd yr medical students, the pharmist, and I think the cook came in for a look) Yes we should lisson to our doctors because they are all working for your welfare.

Mood swings, LOL enjoy.

Riverwind (imported) wrote: Thu Jan 16, 2003 11:29 am Yes when I was in the hospital with the infection about 17 days after surgery. I was in the hospital for 4 days and was seen by 38 or 40 medical personal, (doctors, nurses, orderleys, inturns, 3rd yr medical students, the pharmist, and I think the cook came in for a look)

Whoah. Was seeing a real live eunuch that unusual such that everyone wanted to see you?

You don't have to be crazy to work in a hospital but it certainly helps...

...IT'S THEM! Not you.

If you would have had your leg amputated nobody would have came in to see...

By the way, unless you are at a teaching hospital what you are describing is invasion of privacy and breech of confidentiality.

Complain, damn it! You are not an animal in a zoo or something...

A-1

Scottie i am with Andrew take your time and take it easy.Your not healed yet so slow down and if any body is reading this and is thanking of performing thair own castration thank twice about it this man went to a doctor and thair is still cmplications so be carful and be safe.

Yes, I had thought they were simply part of my depression. However, I now link them to the interval when I now believe my production of testosterone pretty much failed. Thanks.

Houston.... Seems we gotta problem here! Hee Hee Heee. I think this is really a minor inconvieniance! I don't really want more surgery, but if thats what it takes then I will do as Mistress has commanded and the doc says. I want to assure you all that none of your feedback falls on deaf ears. Heck Im new here and have alot to learn. I Imagine this is all part of the bigger picture. Im sort of in process. So let it be and it will settle itself. The Hospital is a teaching hospital so there is no reason for them not to look at me. They are doing more and more of these operations everyday. They even have that special name orciectomy for it and it is covered by my insurance company. Wow!!!! As far as what could have been if Scottie only would have injected 5ml instead of the 150. your guess is as good as mine but I do know I CAN"T GO BACK and do it over. Who would want to anyway. I wonder if there is anyone who has the balls enought to try it with the 5ml. come on someone step up and be the next voulenteer. The mood swings suck but It's all in a learning curve you might say. The letters are a constand encouragement to go on and to have the strength to do it. I wanted this and now I have it. I will move ahead and I will look back, but with no regret. this was and is a lifes choice and so be it. I am a new person. In the days of Romans and greeks and even today. Eunuch slaves are and where prized posessions. They are valuable in my alternative lifestyle and I am an example for some and a terror for others. Oh well! I am going in tommrrow at 9:00est. He will do what needs doing and home I will go. I take all of you with me. I will keep writing. The issue at home is my computer registers as scottie0007 so that is me and you can answer for then I will reply and post on the new recovery. You know (to the wanna bes) If you really want to be a eunuch then do what you need to do. But the message is very clear to me here. SAFETY HEALTHY BETTER CHOICES EDUCATION are all apart of sanity. see part 2

When we let our desires get ahead of our knowledge we get into trouble. The other side of all of this is... we must listen. There is alot of knowledge here and it has saved me more than once. Doctors are not to be feared. AYou just must find the right people who do care and want to help. So good luck to you all and keep on keepen on. Pray for me tommrrow if you pray. I will write when I can and I will let everyone know how Im doing and what happened to me this trip. Scottie

of course it was a teaching Hospital thats why I had so many visitors but they always asked first with smiles of antipicatio on there face.

Being the good guy I am I said sure and through back the sheets and spreed my legs.

River