My girlfriend of 30+ years has just passed away suddenly earlier this afternoon... I left the house very early this morning to work a booth at a town event (In my role as Chair of our towns Commission on Disability) and while I was there the police came and found me to tell me that she had passed away. She was as fine as she ever was when I left, so this comes as a total shock and surprise. It is especially sad in light of her father passing away a few days ago (which was expected, he was in his 90's, and had gone into hospice a few weeks ago.)

We have a caregiver who does stuff for both of us, but primarily her, and he came in this afternoon around 1:00 and found her sitting in her wheelchair in front of her computer. No idea about exactly what happened, but as a friend put it she was a medical "house of cards" with a long list of issues, any one of which could have been the cause.

I'm still in a bit of shock, and at the same time having to start working on figuring out what I need to do in order to deal with this. That we weren't married complicates things, although we at least both had wills that left everything to each other, and named each other as executor, so it hopefully won't be to horrible...

WheelyFixed

Oh Wheely,
I am so sorry. You are in our prayers.

Wheely, I am so sorry. My condolences. Such a quick unexpected death is hardest on the survivors. Hang in there.

Thanks for the kind words... While surprised at it happening, I at least take some consolation in that it appears that whatever issue it was that killed her, there was little or no pain and suffering involved...

I have been getting a lot of support and help from the local in-person community as well, so I think I will be more or less OK after a while...

ART

My condolences dear Wheely, my prayers are with you. The loss of a close relative is always very disturbing and suffering. Take it with philosophy as it seams you do. The will you mentioned will certainly smooth things out on the legal side, which otherwise could be a pain in mourning times.
Take care.

I imagine that hardest part would be sleeping alone in the same bed at night. Your mobility situation would make it hard for you to stay at a hotel or a friend's as well even just for a few nights... I'm sorry

dandelion wrote: Mon Sep 22, 2025 11:38 am I imagine that hardest part would be sleeping alone in the same bed at night. Your mobility situation would make it hard for you to stay at a hotel or a friend's as well even just for a few nights... I'm sorry

I agree w/ Dandelion. it is difficult, not so much the bed part (our medical issues and the house layout prevented us from sleeping together for the last couple of years) as the way the house feels empty and different from when she was alive... Even when we were each quietly doing our own thing in separate rooms, I somehow still felt a presence that isn't there now... The silence is oppressive...

I am just getting started on it, but I'm also now having to deal with all the practical aspects of handling her estate, from getting things like utilities into my name to handling her IRA, our house and so on...

Many thanks to all of you that have expressed your sympathy and support, I am grateful for the supportive membership here.

WheelyFixed

I am so sorry to read this. I hope your doing ok and if you need to talk you know how to reach me.

WheelyFixed, I am really sorry to hear that My condolences...