EA Forums

I'm asking for thought, views, and insights. I hope what I say in this post doesn't upset or disturb or anger anyone, I don't want to do that. I'm trying to understand my femdom castration fantasies and fetishes, that's why I came to Eunuch Archive, to get some insights and to hopefully understand.

I started an earlier thread about what causes castration fantasies, but I really don't identify with most of the experiences others have shared as to what caused their castration fantasies.

I would really like to understand myself and what makes me the way I am. I think it would help me to deal with and come to terms, maybe even make peace with myself. The thing I really feel I need to do that with is my femdom castration fantasies and the fetishes that are a part of them. So here is my experience with this.

I have always had "feelings" and "tendencies" and they seeme to have come naturally from within me, they weren't something I was taught or told. I first became consciously aware of my castration fantasies and femdom fetishes sometime during puberty.

To make a long story short, my childhood and upbringing was completely normal, traditional, conventional, typical, average. There is nothing there that I can find that would cause my fantasies and fetishes.

My religious upbringing was Christian and I am still a Christian and I assume always will be, that's very important to me. Everything about my religious upbringing was very conventional, traditional, normal. But even as a small child down inside myself I always wanted to think of God as being female, as being Goddess.

Why? I have no idea why. But that's just what I was always comfortable with, in fact I am often uncomfortable viewing or thinking of God as male. I didn't talk about those feelings because even as a child I knew they were different and I knew that different or too different wasn't accepted a lot of times. Obviously, viewing God as only being female does effect and make different my view of some things in Christian theology and thinking.

I have always felt a special reverence toward women, girls, females. I guess because of viewing God as female. Growing up, I was taught to respect women and girls, but it wasn't drilled and drilled into me, it was given a normal amount of emphasis. I was of course taught to respect everyone.

But during puberty my fantasies and fetishes appeared and they developed during my adolesence, through my teenage years. It was also about this time that I began feeling uncomfortable having my arms bare or exposed and began wanting to always have my arms covered in long sleeves. I stopped wearing short sleeve shirts and began only wearing long sleeve shirts always with my sleeves down and my arms covered in long sleeves.

In my fantasies and my fetishes I see very much elements of dominance/submission, female domination/male submission, female superiority and supremace/male inferiority, elements like that.

There is something to me about a woman when she is wearing a long sleeve shirt and she has her sleeves rolled up above her elbows that somehow makes her seem more powerful, dominant, omnipotent, and Goddess-like. I feel more submissive toward a woman when she is wearing a long sleeve shirt and she has her sleeves rolled up above her elbows. I don't know what it is about that or why I feel that way about it, but I do. By the way, neither my mother or other significant women in my life when I was growing up routinely dressed that way, so I don't know where this came from.

To me, a male is a male. It is an integral part of who and what he is. A man's manhood his male being is an integral part of who and what he is, as if he is his manhood and male being.

A female is a female. It is an integral part of who and what she is. A woman's womanhood her female being is an integral part of who and what she is, as if she is her womanhood and female being.

To me, castration is the destruction and control over of the male being, the manhood, of the very essence and being of any male that is castrated whether the male being castrated is a man or a male animal. Castration performed by a woman is the complete destruction and control of the male being, the manhood, the very essence and being of the male she is castrating, and it doesn't matter if the male she is castrating is a man or a male animal. My castration performed by a woman would be the destruction and control of my male being of my manhood or my very essence and being by the woman performing the castration on me, the destruction and control of me and of my very essence and being by the woman castrating me. I have no idea why I have these feelings or where they came from or what caused them.

In my fantasies, as she performs the castration on me the woman who is performing the castration on me becomes God, and I worship her as The Goddess as she cuts my nuts out, worship of her that continues forever after the operation. After she castrates me she keeps me as her personal eunuch pet to personally serve her and worship her forever as Goddess.

It maybe should be noted that I have never had a wife or girlfriend. I have never engaged in any sexual contact with another person at all. I have never engaged in any kind of mock castration play with a woman or with women.

I have never allowed myself to have an intimate or sexual type relationship with a woman. I never allowed myself to get into a relationship with a woman is because I know I have these fantasies and fetishes, and that at some point in the relationship it would have to come up, and I didn't know how to bring it up or deal with that. I didn't think I could ever find a woman who could accept me having these fantasies and fetishes. So I never allowed a relationship to get started. Yes I have denied myself any such relationship and yes there are times it has made me feel lonely and alone. Yes it has made me feel like I was "different" and like I was some kind of "freak", and before I first came to Eunuch Archive I thought I was the only person in the world with castration fantasies. Just knowing there are others with castration fantasies has been a help to me.

I came here the first time as Hereunuch, and I came here hoping to understand, to understand what caused me to have these fantasies and fetishes and to understand what it is I'm really searching for through them. I think that when someone has fantasies and fetishes there is very often something they are searching for through those fantasies and fetishes.

As Hereunuch, I wrote quite a number of stories that are in The Story Archive. I don't know how good any of them are, but they are my femdom castration fantasies in detail.

I came here looking for answers, wanting to understand. I'm trying to understand what caused my femdom castration fantasies and fetishes and why I have them and also what it is I'm really searching for through them. And maybe nothing at all caused them, maybe I have these fantasies and fetishes simply because that's the way I am and that's that.

I asked for insights from men, other men who have femdom castration fantasies. I also wanted insights from women here especially women who are interested in the castration of a man, women who have fantasies where she herself castrates a man then keeps him to serve and worship her as her personal eunuch pet. I thought women, especially women with femdom castration fantasies, but I thought women would have insights into castration fantasies and fetishes that men don't have and that those insights would be helpful as well.

I would appreciate any thoughts, views, and insights anyone here might offer. Thank you.

I guess my real problem with my castration fantasies is how I feel about them, or rather how I feel about myself because I have them. Castration fantasies may not be all that uncommon, but most people probably wouldn't consider them to be normal, whatever normal really is. I wonder if anyone knows what normal really is, or if there even is such a thing as normal.

I have an idea of what people would think of me if they ever somehow found out. Though we would probably have the daylights shocked out of us if we knew what some people think or dream about or what goes on in their minds. Kind of the "my minister reads Penthouse and Playboy!" reaction. "This is what the mild mannered librarian dreams about!"

Maybe no one else knows I have femdom castration fantasies. But I know I have them, and so I feel like there's something "wrong" with me and that I'm not "normal", again whatever normal is if there even is such a thing as normal.

Whatever

I Worship Women (imported) wrote: Mon Mar 27, 2006 10:17 am it is I'm really searching for through these fantasies and fetishes,

it probably has little or nothing to do with a woman cutting my nuts out, that's probably a physical form or image it has taken on. When I'm having my fantasies there seems to be something very much spiritual about the experience for want of any other way of describing it, and spiritual does seem to describe how it feels.

So I guess I have two things I have to do here. First I have to psych out

I Worship Women (imported) wrote: Mon Mar 27, 2006 10:17 am what it is I'm really searching for through my femdom castration fantasies and fetishes and

deal with that.

And I have to accept that just because I have femdom castration fantasies doesn't mean there's anything wrong with me, it doesn't mean I'm not normal. I have to accept myself as I really am, I have to accept that this is just one part of me and of who and what I am, and I have to accept that it's ok for me to just be myself. I have to learn to just be comfortable with myself as I really am.

I thought I might find some things here at Eunuch Archive that would help me to do that, That's why I came here, in the hope of finding some answers.

I also have a fantasy going about female cutting themselves anr or other females.I did not figure out until I read the above I was not alone.

I Worship Women (imported) wrote: Mon Mar 27, 2006 4:25 pm I guess my real problem with my castration fantasies is how I feel about them, or rather how I feel about myself because I have them. Castration fantasies may not be all that uncommon, but most people probably wouldn't consider them to be normal, whatever normal really is. I wonder if anyone knows what normal really is, or if there even is such a thing as normal.

I have an idea of what people would think of me if they ever somehow found out. Though we would probably have the daylights shocked out of us if we knew what some people think or dream about or what goes on in their minds. Kind of the "my minister reads Penthouse and Playboy!" reaction. "This is what the mild mannered librarian dreams about!"

Maybe no one else knows I have femdom castration fantasies. But I know I have them, and so I feel like there's something "wrong" with me and that I'm not "normal", again whatever normal is if there even is such a thing as normal.

Whatever [qu

ote="I Worship Women (imported)" time=1143415020]
it is I'm reall

I Worship Women (imported) wrote: Mon Mar 27, 2006 4:25 pm y searching for through these fantasies and fetishes,

it probably has little or nothing to do with a woman cutting my nuts out, that's probably a physical form or image it has taken on. When I'm having my fantasies there seems to be something very much spiritual about the experience for want of any other way of describing it, and spiritual does seem to describe how it feels.

So I guess
[/quote]
I have two things I have to do here. First I have to psych out [quote="I Worship Women (imp

I Worship Women (imported) wrote: Mon Mar 27, 2006 4:25 pm orted)" time=1143415020]
what it is I'm really searching for through my femdom castration fantasies and fetishes and

deal with that.

And I have to accept that just because I have femdom castration fantasies doesn't mean there's anything wrong with me, it doesn't mean I'm not normal. I have to accept myself as I really am, I have to accept that this is just one part of me and of who and what I am, and I have to accept that it's ok for me to just be myself. I have to learn to just be comfortable with myself as I really am.

I thought I might find
[/quote]
some things here at Eunuch Archive that would help me to do that, That's why I came here, in the hope of finding some answers.You are not alone! The mere existence of this very active site proves this, and as for female domination fantasies, they are so common as to support a significant component of the sex industry, be it videos or professional dominas, and this goes back to the nineteenth century and beyond. There is even a sort of concentration camp for men who wish to go there in the Czech Republic (the Other World Kingdom). No one knows where these desires come from, but again, you are not alone and there is no reason to feel guilty about them as long as they are not acted out in way that harms others. I'm writing this as someone who (a) has fantasies of being castrated as a male and (b) (separate, unrelated fantasy) magically turning into a "genetic girl" (see my avatar). Shakespeare wrote, "where is fancy bred, in the heart of in the head? Reply, reply." (I.e. we don't know). And the great Ancient Greek saying was "know theyself". My advice as someone with what society would consider "abnormal" fantasies:, face up to the reality of your fantasies, recognize that they can't be "cured" and there is not reason for them to be "cured" as long as they don't lead to actions that hurt others, and frankly enjoy them, as I enjoy mine. Good luck

Hi Strassenbahn!

I never heard about castrations taking place in OWK, is that a new line in their line of services?

Greetings

John

Go read yourself some Freud...

:-\

John (imported) wrote: Tue Dec 30, 2008 3:52 am Hi Strassenbahn!

I never heard about castrations taking place in OWK, is that a new line in their line of services?

Greetings

John

They don't do castrations in the OWK or anything that causes permanent damage. I was referring to fantasies of female dominationt. (My fantasies of being dominated by a woman coexist separately from my other fantasy groups, namely being castrated at my own request and maginally turning into a woman. Regards.

I guess we all want to get to the root of our fantasies, whatever they may be. I have no idea why I've always fantasized about cutting off my penis. EA has taught me that I'm not alone, but has yet to really enlighten me as to why I have such thoughts. Knowing there are others out there with similar notions is a great comfort, though.

stewie69 (imported) wrote: Wed Dec 31, 2008 4:38 am I guess we all want to get to the root of our fantasies, whatever they may be. I have no idea why I've always fantasized about cutting off my penis. EA has taught me that I'm not alone, but has yet to really enlighten me as to why I have such thoughts. Knowing there are others out there with similar notions is a great comfort, though.

I fully agree with Stewie69's words. I'm very happy, I have joined EA. Although I think I'll keep my balls, I like to understand my desire to have my balls and sac cut off. Reading the threads, messages and the stories were a great help for me. As Stewie69 says: I'm not alone, k

stewie69 (imported) wrote: Wed Dec 31, 2008 4:38 am nowing there are others out there with sim

ular notions is a great comfort.

Peter

I have found some woman repulsed, others intrigued and a few indifferent about the entire thing. They all like to get off though.

Older women have a better understanding of themselves and are much more accepting and appreciative of a guy with such experiences and outlooks. She can help you work this thru. And coming to grips with ourselves and deciding not to be bitter angry souls starts us on the path to happiness and frees our beings to fully enjoy what is before us!

Sorry about the whole christian god male/female confusion...

darling worshipper/ son of a fem/nazi

chilli-

You haven't told us anything much about your life, apart from your fantasies. Fantasies can serve many functions: wish fulfillment, compensation for things lacking in everyday life, or just a way of thinking about things through metaphor, like poetry or dreaming.

Most people start life dominated by a woman - their mother. This is a formative experience for most people, and its effects can last a lifetime. I'd start by revisiting your memories of your early life as much as possible. Was this a time of bliss you long to re-experience? Do you feel you did not receive the mothering you needed, and want to receive it now, if only in imagination? Was your mother harsh and unloving, so that you're repeating the experience in an effort to come to grips with it? How do you feel when you fantasize - happy, sad, angry?

People don't always, and can't always, think about important things directly, in words. They may not fully understand something, or they may find their thoughts shameful or improper. Fantasy, like art or dreams, is a way of thinking about things without embarrassment or confrontation, by means of analogy.

There probably is a meaning to your fantasies, and the meaning is rooted in your deepest feelings about your life. Only you know enough about yourself to find this meaning. That you've been having the same sort of fantasy so long suggests that you're searching for a solution to some old problem or unresolved conflict in your life. When and if the problem is solved, the fantasies may disappear.

You don't want to be a captive of your past, endlessly wrestling with some childhood ghost. I know what I've been saying sounds Freudian, but I'm no Freudian. I'm only saying that you'll be happier if you can put your past behind you, and move forward with your life.

Your fantasies hurt no one - except maybe you. I had masochistic fantasies for many years, tied to feelings of sadness and depression. I felt myself powerless and downtrodden in important areas of my life, and my masochistic fantasies expressed my emotions about this. Once I finally took control of my life, I found the masochistic fantasies unendurable and stopped having them. I was no longer living a masochistic life, so I no longer needed masochistic fantasies to cope with it. The fantasies didn't help me take control; they were just daily recitations of my own futility. They were dangerous to the extent that they distracted me from constructive thoughts about ways to better my life.

Your case may be the opposite. Perhaps you live a tightly controlled life, and like to luxuriate in the feeling of helpless surrender. There are so many possibilities, and you're the only one who can unravel the mystery.

There may be no comparison between us, but I feel sympathetic and wish you well.

I have a hypothesis to offer on the whole "fem-dom" thing, not based on any great scientific study, just my own observations.

Sorry if this is going to be a bit lengthy, but please, give it a read and think a bit on my hypothesis.

First, have you ever just gotten too too tooooooooo damn much of something? Like a really bad sunburn? A little sunshine is fine, maybe a suntan, a little while basking on the beach... but too much of it is HELL! And notice that for days after a really bad sunburn even the slightest heat is painful, all you want to do is stand in a cold shower, even slightly warm showers HURT right after a sunburn.

OK, back to my point, which is when you just get TOTALLY FED UP WITH ONE THING, you naturally tend to gravitate to the other extreme.

Now, think about your experiences with females. Certainly, you will have had numerous encounters with such a broad range of personalities over you lifetime, that it is impossible to catagorize ALL females in one or another catagory. But on the other hand.... you cannot deny that MANY if not most females learn very well from an early age how to play the role of "helpless female" or "damsell in distress." (My own term for this is "dimwit in distress")

Many men today are really sick and tired of being with women who "just cannot understand how to...... " And you can fill in the blank there, they PRETEND that they cannot drive in city traffic, they pretend they don't understand how to check the oil in the car, they pretend they cannot figure out how to ballance a check book, the pretend they cannot do their own income tax returns, the pretend to never understand their husbands... The list is ENDLESS.

And always, they PLAY a role of "dim wit in distress" with tear filled eyes. Oh boo hoo!

At first, men, like the stupid fools that they are, LOVE to play the counter part of this fake play. They "bravely charge in to rescue the fair lady..."

Men and women both are to blame for this situation. The women learn only ONE technique to manipulate their men into doing things for them, that one DREADFULLY overused technique is the teary eyed dimwit in distress. The men, being the pathetic suckers that they are, unfailingly (well, at least in the beginning when they are still too damn horney) rush to assist.

So, COULD IT BE THAT MANY MEN ARE TIRED OF THIS CRAP?

Like someone with a bad sunburn, who wants a COLD shower, many men who are sick and tired of sharing their lives with dimwits in distress just want the OTHER extreme. They long to be with a woman who is IN CONTROL, in control of herself (NOT teary eyed), in control of the situation around her (NOT two months overdue on the rent), and in control of her man. Yes, in CONTROL of her man, these men who are fed up with have to "do the thinking for both of us" as the character Rick Blaine did in the movie "Casablanca," these men do not want to have to share their lives with a dimwit.

Sadly, most women never get it, before they are able to break their addiciton to playing the dimwit in distress, their husbands or boyfriends lose interest in them.

IF, they could see what was happening, they would lay of the "little miss helpless routine" for a bit, and re-kindle their man's interest in the intelligent person they can be.

Sadly, most men cannot get their wives or girlfriends to start acting independent enough, and intelligent enough to keep their interest in them going. So.....

My hypothesis is... that the typical "submissive" male (or female for that matter) is not so much truly submissive and incapable of thinking for themselves. It is that they are just totally fed up with being forced into the role of the only responsible one in a relationship. So now they gravitate to the other extreme for a while, maybe just a little while, but for a while the "submissive" gets to be completely without responsibility for anything except complete obedience to his (or her) dominant master. They can put their over worked judgement to sleep for a while, they do not need to think at all, just obey. Even though they may "work like slaves" for their master, these men (and women) enjoy and appreciate working like slaves for a while.

That is what I think. Like I said, this is based only on my own observations, not any extensive reading on the subject or any scientific study.

What do you think?

All the women in my family, and most of the women I've ever known, are quite unlike the type you describe. I've certainly seen it, but most of the women who do it know they're playing a game and will laugh if you call them on it.

For some aggressive women, being "helpless" is just a way of getting other people to do things for them. For a few, it may be a role they've been raised to play. Women often tell one another that men only like and marry submissive women to whom they can feel superior, so they make themselves act that away, but only with the men they want to attract. But modern women, feminist women, try to be competent and assertive most times.

Of course, women are not as physically commanding as men, and their psychological makeup is different. Women are far more social than men. They care more about being in synch with other people, and tend to work to persuade others, rather than going their own way, as many men do. Their ways of solving problems tend to be more social - enlisting allies, building consensus, etc. - than tactical. You may be confusing women's attempts to get you involved with their concerns as passivity or manipulation, but that's not how women understand what they're doing. There are, of course, more women who are truly passive than there are men, but some of the toughest people I've known have been women.

The Fem-Dom fantasy often assigns male personalities to women, and this may be part of its appeal to men who have trouble understanding or coping with women, or who may just prefer their own sex. One stereotype found in popular culture is the miniskirted babe who's a mob assassin, etc. A male personality in a sexy female body is the ideal woman for certain men.

Most men begin life being dominated by their mothers and other women. Fem-Dom is a way of combining the still potent emotions of childhood with adult sexuality. Men who've had female bosses at work, etc., may enjoy fantasies about these relationships being sexualized.

What many men fear and resent is not women's supposed helplessness, but the power that women have over them because of men's sexual desires. Women have been scolded, belittled, beaten, caricatured as witches, and even killed, just because men are afraid of the power of a pretty face. This is more than a little hypocritical. An honest man will admit he's horny and is ready to do just about anything to get laid. Don't blame women for the desperation of your own lust.

A man who wants independence can cultivate a taste for other men's dicks. That was my solution. It gives you someplace else to go, and the person you're rubbing dicks with isn't "helpless."

Concerning this puzzling question, i once read a psychological explanation of this. It was explained that the reason behind masochism may be that the masochist derives pleasure in fully entrusting his life into his lover's hands. As a result he feels very aroused being tied up and helpless before his lover, being that the lover is now in full control of what next should happen to him; the ultimate reason being total trust in his partner.

Woo talk about digging up old threads!

Actually, don't you think people sometimes try to read too much into a fetish? Afterall, for every one person you could say went through a certain experience to cause him/her to develop the fetishes he/she does, another person will have never had any reason to develop the exact same fetish, and yet does.

It's just how they're wired up, no doubt life experiences would play some part, but likely a minor one. You really would have to be born with the propensity towards having the fetishes you do in the first place for life experiences to have any effect on them.

Also, I disagree in your original post in this thread long ago that says what makes a person is their physical sex.

It is a pity that this post is dead. I am very interested in the opinion of the women. It is unfortunate that few women are I see on this page. Perhaps it would be worthwhile to open a forum for women.

There is a statistic that many women registered as a member of the site?