EA Forums

I've tried counting sheep, had a brief sojourn into the world of late night tv, heck, I even paid for a movie which turned out to be an education all by itself, but all of this was no avail. I am kept awake into the small hours with questions that just won't go away.

A Google search proved pretty useless. I even tried Turbo10 (that well known search engine of the underbelly of the www!) - nuffink, nada, nil, zilch.

The NYPD were all out to lunch when I rang. The Floridian PD were busy giving advice to CSI: Miami. The Texans were all putting coins in their electric meters. As for the Georgians, well, they were stupendously helpful until I mentioned your name, they then asked me for the 'codeword'. I opted to guess and said 'halloween', they hung up on me. And, as for the Colombians, well they weren't helpful at all, unless you include the fact that they offered me a free vacation if I would agree to meet some man at Heathrow airport and 'help him with his luggage'.

So, it's all been most unsatisfactory. I am developing a nervous tic of a personal nature, which runs the risk of getting me into all kinds of trouble.

I think there's every chance that I shall soon be diagnosed with an obsessive disorder.

As most of you will know by now, it must be clear from my postings on the EA, I am a small-minded, fairly bigotted person, I consider Fred Phelps amongst my closest personal friends. I left the Southern Baptists because they were waaay too liberal (but that's really another story!)

The point is, I clearly have enormous problems, that much must be clear for all to see.

My question to you is this:

Would you knowingly add to my neuroses by refusing to clarify the 'halloween' incident? Of course, it may well still be sub judice, in which case, pm it to me!

Come on, come on, I can't wait much longer. There are others here who know the truth (don't think I'm unaware of that), they, too, have remained strangely silent.

I've got two choices really. I can hold my breath and risk possible death if you don't choose to enlighten me (which could, in itself, be quite an exciting experience), or I can begin taking the anti-psychotics prescribed to me today by my doctor...

Over to you ...

I'm not quite sure what actually prompted Dingbat to write this post, but... ROFL!!!!!!

dingbat,

...loose lips sinks ships...

Trick-or-treat, smell my feet? ...give me something good to ingest...

To keep you all updated on my efforts ...

I have employed a private investigator. His name is Raoul Ramirez Mustapha Nigel Inkelstein but, because this is a bit of a mouthful, he prefers to go by the nickname of 'Red'. He comes from Morocco.

I met him for dinner yesterday and he gave me a few negatives which I'm still perusing and he also gave me a key (which possibly fits at lock at Slough swimming baths, this is yet to be established.)

Actually, I'm not sure what I'm paying him for. His information wasn't very illuminating. But he does a sideline in party costumes so there might be some mileage in him yet.

He will continue as a P.I. work on my behalf.

Funnily enough, this morning I met a friend who had also employed him. They weren't sure it was the same person at first, because I gave his full name. Eventually, feeling sure it was the same person, I said : "you must know him, Red, that's his nickname".

My friend said "Ah yes, Moroccan Red".

(and before you go blaming me for the content of this post just remember it was A-1 who said he wanted something good to 'ingest'! )

... to be continued.

dingbat (imported) wrote: Thu Apr 19, 2007 7:19 pm (and before you go blaming me for the content of this post just remember it was A-1 who said he wanted something good to 'ingest'! )

... to be continued.

Methinks that Dingbat has just reinstalled Java and has gone a little hyper with all the caffeine.....

Those anti-psychotics were placebos. Your doctor is an author here.



A-1 is still spinning from the great azalea heist some years ago. That, and the vengeful ghosts from the old hospital building that was torn down. Rumor is that he's called an exorcist to rid him of the spirit of a teenage boy who was to have his tonsils removed, but A-1 - having partied a bit the night before the surgery - misread the surgical notes and removed another set of organs that starts with the letter "T". The young man then later jumped out the 8th floor window, and has been following A-1 around since.

I give up... either I am missing something or you are all psychotic. More likely - I am the psychotic....

Weirdest thread yet. Just when it all starts to make sense, I get totally confused.

Kangan,

Trust me ... it's not you!

Paolo wrote: Thu Apr 19, 2007 9:57 pm Those anti-psychotics were placebos. Your doctor is an author here.



A-1 is still spinning from the great azalea heist some years ago. That, and the vengeful ghosts from the old hospital building that was torn down. Rumor is that he's called an exorcist to rid him of the spirit of a teenage boy who was to have his tonsils removed, but A-1 - having partied a bit the night before the surgery - misread the surgical notes and removed another set of organs that starts with the letter "T". The young man then later jumped out the 8th floor window, and has been following A-1 around since.

I'm very over-tired tonight and the anti-psychotics were definitely placebos but ...

It's very odd that you should mention the teenage boy and his tonsil episode with A-1. Odd because Raoul Ramirez Mustapha Nigel Inkelstein has always struck me as being a couple of sandwiches short of a picnic, I just assumed he was lacking in the neurone department but, now you come to mention it, he does carry a small bottle in his briefcase which he hides from my view whenever he opens the case. He also complains of a high-altitude collision with 'The Man from Ipanema' following what he describes as a 'snip of an incident' - does A-1 go under any other names that I should know about?

*looks around room*

is that pink bunny meant to be there?

Uhm, what's this? I'm swamped with work for a few weeks and when I return the whole place is mad? I think it's frightingly clear that you have been keeping this from me all the time. You've been hiding stuff.

And it doesn't stop there. Just when things started to get hairy at work, there's a new guy showing up. Says he is somekind of intern. But I don't think so. You've been keeping tabs on me! Admit it!

It's to much of a coinsidence. It can't be just random things, you know. Like, last week I saw a plainly improbable number of red cars parked in a row. And now you talk about 'Moroccoan Red'? Do you think I'm THAT stupid?

I've got to protect myself, you know.

Yes, but who was driving the red cars? Did you see?

And isn't it funny that you have a new person at work right NOW?!

Well, you know what they say - That's what you get for missing staff meetings ... hehe

dingbat (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 20, 2007 12:23 am Kangan,

Trust me ... it's not you!

Yes, it is you.... I understand completely....

sapient (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 20, 2007 7:35 am Uhm, what's this? I'm swamped with work for a few weeks and when I return the whole place is mad? I think it's frightingly clear that you have been keeping this from me all the time. You've been hiding stuff.

And it doesn't stop there. Just when things started to get hairy at work, there's a new guy showing up. Says he is somekind of intern. But I don't think so. You've been keeping tabs on me! Admit it!

It's to much of a coinsidence. It can't be just random things, you know. Like, last week I saw a plainly improbable number of red cars parked in a row. And now you talk about 'Moroccoan Red'? Do you think I'm THAT stupid?

I've got to protect myself, you know.

Sapient,

I would have offered to lend you some of my anti-psycotics, but Paolo has already mentioned that they were placebo's and so there's really no point.

Moroccan Red drives a small Skoda, it's a fairly startling metallic red.

He has two sidekicks, Malcolm and Juanita, they both drive Lada's, both also red.

I think you're on to something here Sapient, you and I must stick together.

By the way, for those of you who are interested, I have now found out which lock the key fits. Amazingly enough, it's the D-lock to a spanking new bicycle, parked in La Vienza Heights, West Bogota.

Tonight, under cover of darkness, I'm going to be meeting 'the third man', (under the light at Paddington station), he reckons we can escape through the sewerage tunnels.

If we manage to escape, I'll be living with Sapient for the forseeable future...

My father had a Lada and my mother a Moskovich.

Do you think this is what drove me to the EA?

mm whats a Moskovich?

a lada..yeh i think in russia once upon a time they were very popular, or maybe that was skoda? or maybe both....

anyway yeh i see where your issues have stemmed from...

*sorry*

calmeilles (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 20, 2007 11:16 pm My father had a Lada and my mother a Moskovich.

Do you think this is what drove me to the EA?

I have to say calmeilles, with a Lada and a Moskvitch, I'm frankly impressed they managed to drive you anywhere!

There was always some doubt, I'll admit. However both vehicles drove us, in subsequent years, to the Pyrenees and back.

Hey... You're all speaking in code! That's it. You're keeping a lot of things secret from me. But I'm not stupid. Do you think I couldn't figure out that you don't neeed BOTH a Lada and a Moskovich to go to "the Pyrenees"?

But the joke's on you. Ha ha ha...

I still have to figure out what this has to do with the color of Paolos, ehrm, lightsaber... Red, isn't it? As if by coincidence... But I'll get it eventually. You'll see. And then you won't be so quick to dismiss me!

SERENITY NOW!

Im phoning the hospital again....

and they know me pack your bags, get ready-im taking you for a rest....

I have a CIA sponsored UFO full of aliens ready to take you to Mars.

All this over a few smashed pumpkins, or a burning bag of poop on someone's front step? Damn, busted myself.

Paolo wrote: Thu Apr 19, 2007 9:57 pm Those anti-psychotics were placebos. Your doctor is an author here.



A-1 is still spinning from the great azalea heist some years ago. That, and the vengeful ghosts from the old hospital building that was torn down. Rumor is that he's called an exorcist to rid him of the spirit of a teenage boy who was to have his tonsils removed, but A-1 - having partied a bit the night before the surgery - misread the surgical notes and removed another set of organs that starts with the letter "T". The young man then later jumped out the 8th floor window, and has been following A-1 around since.

Yes,

How did you know that I have a collection of adolescent THYROID glands?

Look, pardon me chaps and chapesses, but my initial post was entirely serious. You all seem to have become tangential queens!

I am currently hiding out in Sapient's back garden, up a gum tree.

There isn't a Lada, a Skoda or even a Moskvitch in sight. Sapient is out prowling the streets with his water pistol and, when he returns, he occasionally remembers to bring me cucumber sandwiches. Not nearly often enough though.

Moroccan Red has gone to ground (some say he's on holiday Las Vegas but I think that's just a dirty rumour).

Hi

dingbat (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 20, 2007 8:56 pm s two sidekicks, Malcolm and Juanita,

have just had a civil partnership ceremony at Knightsbridge Register Office.

Paolo is pretending it's nothing at all to do with him and, as for A-1, well he's taking 'laconic style' to new levels.

So, here I remain, up a gum tree, with only occasional sandwiches to munch upon. I feel a bit as though I'm an extra in 'Whistle Down the Wind' (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whistle_Do ... %28film%29) only I'm not Jesus and nobody thinks I am!!

Please start taking this thread more seriously...

A-1, that girl in radiology I know keeps me informed of ALL your actions there. Lately it's not been too good though. You just CAN'T hire a good stalker these days. It's even harder getting the Storm Troopers through customs.