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The Chinese have given me a fantasy!!!

Posted: Wed Nov 21, 2007 8:33 pm
by FianceeUvBigGuy (imported)
Free shrimp and pork egg rolls for life! Well, that's ONE fantasy!

Yoli here, up early to go fishing this morning and deer hunting in the afternoon and tomorrow AM despite the cold front that's due about 4PM. We'll have T'giving at the ranch and that's always great, especially in nipply weather.

OK, here it is:

We all know that the commie Chinese execute hundred of people each year for serious crimes...jaywalking, double-parking, etc...and harvest their body parts to sell for transplants 'n other fun stuff. Now they've come up with a new and more efficient method of "doing business".

The Chinese have built mobile execution vans (more like Greyhound buses) that travel about the country and make "house calls". They arrive, the condemned is taken aboard, he or she is killed, and parts (even skin!) are removed. (You can find all this via Google.)

Well, what if there were mobile castration vans?💡

Let's say that the cops visit Lovers Lane some evening and discover some guy with an underage girl (or boy), having sex. All Officer Clancy has to do is make a radio call and here comes the van. The guilty party is taken on board, castrated, and sent on his way.

Better yet, what if the van pulls up in front of someone's home or place of employment? In no time there'd be a crowd!

Then the guy is marched out of his house or workplace, boards the bus, loses his ballsies (maybe even his peepee) and is left standing on the curb in front of all those people.

As an added attraction they could build the bus with huge side windows, like some custom private rigs, and folks could watch the action.

Well, just thought I'd mention it.;)

Now, off to the shower and then we head for the lake, towing the boat and dodging deer.

Yoli, Crazier than earlier suspected!

PS: Ash(leigh) sez "Hi".

Re: The Chinese have given me a fantasy!!!

Posted: Wed Nov 21, 2007 10:44 pm
by Paolo
Sounds like someone had too many egg rolls...

;)

Re: The Chinese have given me a fantasy!!!

Posted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 12:54 am
by tugon (imported)
I wonder if a public castration would be a better deterrent than a public hanging?

Re: The Chinese have given me a fantasy!!!

Posted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 2:32 am
by Uncle Flo (imported)
It would, at least, be more interesting! lol --FLO--

Re: The Chinese have given me a fantasy!!!

Posted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 5:05 am
by Ptrlss (imported)
tugon (imported) wrote: Thu Nov 22, 2007 12:54 am I wonder if a public castration would be a better deterrent than a public hanging?

You know, along those lines, I have often wondered about the wisdom of including that "cruel and unusual punishment" clause ??? Seems to me that sadly eliminates some very sound and effective detriments!! Whatcha' think?

:-\ :-\ :-\

Re: The Chinese have given me a fantasy!!!

Posted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 6:29 am
by jemagirl (imported)
I know this post is outside the original spirit of the thread Yoli started, and mean no disrespect to her, but I just have to share how I'm feeling at the moment.

I found an article on the Chinese execution vans after a google search. I felt a chill when I read it, and it troubles me to know that mechanized death however sanitized is a tool that governments are willing to use on their own people.

In China especially people are executed for many offenses that fall far short of murder. In Iran people can be executed for adultery, prostitution, or even just being gay or lesbian. In my opinion the death penalty is in itself a barbaric act unworthy of any Nation that claims to be civilized. In this country the imperfections in our justice system have become very evident. We have indeed executed many innocent people throughout our history, and this will continue to happen until the day we decide that is no longer acceptable or until our criminal justice system, would some how, beyond the stretch any reasonable hope, become 100% error free.

This is from Wikipedia

Recklessness

Recklessness or willful blindness is defined as a wanton disregard for the known dangers of a particular situation. An example of this would be a defendant throwing a brick off a bridge into vehicular traffic below. There exists no intent to kill, consequently a resulting death may not be considered murder. However, the conduct is probably reckless, sometimes used interchangeably with criminally negligent, which may subject the principal to prosecution for involuntary manslaughter: the individual was aware of the risk of injury to others and willfully disregarded it.

Yet when the state does this in your name, it is NOT a crime. This to me illuminates the nature of our relationship with the state. That is to say we as individuals live under it as opposed being served by it. This is just one example of many which I could list. Suffice it to say things are not all well in the "Land of the free and the home of the brave"

Re: The Chinese have given me a fantasy!!!

Posted: Fri Nov 23, 2007 2:53 am
by Kangan (imported)
I'd volunteer for a public castration (balls only) if I could remain anonymous.

Re: The Chinese have given me a fantasy!!!

Posted: Fri Nov 23, 2007 6:24 am
by Milkman (imported)
I agree that the execution bus is a barbaric thing. But execution is execution. I see Bush "pardoning" the turkeys this week and then think of all the poor, unrepresented black men that he had executed in Texas in contrast

Re: The Chinese have given me a fantasy!!!

Posted: Fri Nov 23, 2007 7:34 am
by IbPervert (imported)
ok, everyone stop snorting the egg rolls!

Re: The Chinese have given me a fantasy!!!

Posted: Sat Nov 24, 2007 9:32 pm
by FianceeUvBigGuy (imported)
Yoli here, back from the Great Bass and Bambi Safari.

I'm going to refrain from attempting to refute the anti-capital punishment views expressed by my friends here. I live in Texas and I can tell you that there IS another side to that story, but I won't further hijack my own thread. It's bad enough that I often hijack the threads of others, and for that I apologize.

Now for a less somber mention...

We got back to SA at about 8PM last night. Why? Well, believe it or not, a few of us are departing for Norman USA to cheer the Sooners to (hopefully) victory over the Fighting Sheep Molesters of OSWho (AKA Okie Lite). We'll be outta here in about 15 minutes...groan. Your loving Yoli will be curled up in an adorable little furry ball within five minutes of boarding the motor home...trust me.

The fishing was OK 'cept for some very cold wind that made boat maneuvering hard work. Despite the weather we caught some nice bass and released them as usual.

The hunting...Everyone who ventured into the cold and wind got at least one deer. I got three, but that was easy since I was tasked with thinning out the overabundant does (and one older "spike" buck.) I also shot two &$%#! feral hogs and wish I'd eliminated more. As Arnold The Governator of California sez..."Ah'll be bOck!" The goal is to tally not less than 60 (yes, SIXTY!) hogs over the next two months. I plan to account for at least 15 of that total. Those creatures are so destructive to crops, other flora, and both domestic and game birds and animals that there has been talk of putting a bounty on them. Besides, the younger ones are mighty tasty.

Mind you, I'm referring to big and ill-tempered hogs, not the inoffensive (unless you smell one) Javelina AKA Collared Peccary. Don't mistake them for Collared Peckery, AKA uncircumcised...never mind.

Three of us plodded through the cold, rocks, and thorns yesterday AM in an effort to replace some quail that had been eaten a few days ago. I got 9 of the little rockets and one of the partners in the firm nailed 11...not often I'm second banana when it comes to the Art Of The Shotgun...darn!

Anyway, I'm NOT a fan of the Chinese, 'cept the food, and I certainly decry their excessive executions; Ditto some of the Islamic lunacy but I am NOT tarring all Muslims with that brush. The whole point of the thread was to alter the concept of the vans/buses to titillate self and friends...worked for ME!🙄

Well, I'm packed, showered (and shaved, guess where...giggle.) Time to saddle up and head for where the COLD wind comes sweepin' down the plain.

Will be back and check in sometime tomorrow. Whatta life.

Look for me in the stands...Fox Sports Network, today, 3:30 EST, 2:30 Oklahoma Standard Time.

I'll be in the home side stands, on about the North 40, 3/4 of the way up.

I love you all.

Yo...ZZZZZZZZZZZZ...li

More Kawfee!

PS: The T'giving food at the ranch was (too) great. Will be in the pool and at the gym a lot next week.

Re: The Chinese have given me a fantasy!!!

Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2007 5:34 am
by devi (imported)
OH NO! Egg rolls, anyone?

Bus Schedule:

6:00 - 10:00 -We serve only prisoners, coal miners, plus all other qualified participants from near and far.

noon - 4:00 -Public is invited to come on in and enjoy one of our fantastic world famous egg rolls and aphrodisiacs especially made from the very freshest of ingredients this very morning by our finest chefs

The Chinese Egg Roll Enterprises Incorporated.

Re: The Chinese have given me a fantasy!!!

Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 3:29 pm
by FianceeUvBigGuy (imported)
Yoli The Satisfied Sooner Fan here. Back from Frostbite Field in Norman USA.

OMG! Talk about nipply weather. My high-beams are permanently on after tailgate parties outside the stadium and a few hours in it! Thankfully, I was dressed for the weather, but still,...EEEK!

To be fair, my nipples get all pointy whenever I log in here, so can't blame it all on Oklahoma.

On the bright side, "we" neutered OSWho? 49-17 and made it look easy.

The Sooners come to ME next week for the Big 12 Championship Game here in our ugly-as-homemade-sin Alamo Dome. Although we beat Missouri in the regular season I think we're gonna lose this one to them...Oh well, lotsa partying anyway...Onward to the RiverWalk!!!

Did I mention I'm in love with a couple of the OU players and a coach or two? Not only that, but some of the flag and pom-pom girls brought out my bisexual side to a great degree.

Dev, you devil you! That was a funny post.

Not to give the Chinese any ideas but we have used calf ballsies, diced, in stuffing and in tacos. Some of us, your Yolanda included, like them thinly sliced, breaded, and fried too.

No, not "just like chicken".

Someone told me that, in the Good Old Days, mostly in China and Persia, men who'd been castrated would eat the testicles of newly castrated men and boys. They apparently though this would restore their "abilities".

Act One, Scene One:

There are ten men lined up, awaiting their turn with The Official Castrator.

("TOC" always keeps the first pair taken as souvenirs of a good day's work.)

First Guy: "OK, after I'm cut I'll eat the next guy's balls when they are cut off.

Second Guy: "Right, then I'll eat Number Three's balls after he's cut."

And so on until the tenth guys says "Fine, then I'll eat...Uh Oh!"

The curtain falls and so do the balls.

Well, so it won't play on Broadway, but it would be a big hit in Azyntion City! (See: Stories)

And now, it's time for some serious exercise. Gotta atone for the excesses of T'giving and the pre/post game overeating/drinking.

Back later with the latest news from the annals of the KKK(Kinky Kastration Koven.) regarding a new member.

As ever, your loving Yoli

All I want for Christmas is your...OO... and maybe that cute little baggie they come in.

Re: The Chinese have given me a fantasy!!!

Posted: Tue Oct 20, 2009 11:29 am
by sliceitoff (imported)
I personally like this idea, I would line up and board the bus to get my ballsies and peepee cut off for my crimes :) Not a fan of the window idea though.

If a castration bus was build I bet it could be configured so that a good amount of guys could all loose they balls and penis's at one time:dong:. Hop on, strip down, take a seat and put your stuff through the hole in the seat ( of course depending on your crime you may only need to put your balls in) and on the count of three 15 men receive quick and efficient justice. Yes I like this idea, keeps the prison population down. Someone should write a story about this happening to guys :)

Re: The Chinese have given me a fantasy!!!

Posted: Tue Oct 20, 2009 10:15 pm
by FianceeUvBigGuy (imported)
Update (many months late.)

We DID beat Mizzou! (But we've lost three games here in the '09 season...by a total of FIVE FREAKIN' POINTS!

Ennyweigh, putting balls through the hole doesn't conjure up the image I have entertained once or twice. I'd prefer that the miscreant be made to slightly squat and straddle a device with his balls dangling through a hole at the top where they will be snipped off by an internal blade and fall into a chute. Then, they'd slide out in front to be seen by him and the witnesses. IF his peepee was forfeit, it could be on a flat cutting surface in front as he dangles the aforementioned balls. It could be chopped off, or only "beheaded" after the balls go bye-bye. Doing both at the same time would dilute the visual experience for the witnesses.

Oh dear! I think I'm going too far with this.

MORE KAWFEE!

Yoli

Re: The Chinese have given me a fantasy!!!

Posted: Sat Oct 24, 2009 11:56 pm
by wallenstein (imported)
Update (many months late.)
FianceeUvBigGuy (imported) wrote: Tue Oct 20, 2009 10:15 pm I'd prefer that the miscreant be made to slightly squat and straddle a device with his balls dangling through a hole at the top where they will be snipped off by an internal blade and fall into a chute. Then, they'd slide out in front to be seen by him and the witnesses. IF his peepee was forfeit, it could be on a flat cutting surface in front as he dangles the aforementioned balls. It could be chopped off, or only "beheaded" after the balls go bye-bye. Doing both at the same time would dilute the visual experience for the witnesses.

Oh dear! I think I'm going too far with this.

MORE KAWFEE!

You're certainly not going too far - sounds great, especially the squatting and straddling, but for most cases the procedure should focus on the balls and the peepee should stay in its place... except there were very special reasons for chopping or beheading...

Re: The Chinese have given me a fantasy!!!

Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 12:37 am
by JeffEunuch (imported)
Your reference to "Lovers Lane" makes me most uneasy. I live on Lovers Lane.
FianceeUvBigGuy (imported) wrote: Wed Nov 21, 2007 8:33 pm We all know that the commie Chinese execute hundred of people each year for serious crimes...jaywalking, double-parking, etc...and harvest their body parts to sell for transplants 'n other fun stuff. Now they've come up with a new and more efficient method of "doing business". Let's say that the cops visit Lovers Lane some evening and discover some guy with an underage girl (or boy), having sex.

Re: The Chinese have given me a fantasy!!!

Posted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 10:28 am
by sliceitoff (imported)
wallenstein (imported) wrote: Sat Oct 24, 2009 11:56 pm You're certainly not going too far - sounds great, especially the squatting and straddling, but for most cases the procedure should focus on the balls and the peepee should stay in its place... except there were very special reasons for chopping or beheading...

I agree, not going too far at all! I do like the idea of squatting and straddling much better than just sitting down. I also agree focus on the balls for most crimes, but chopping off the peepee can be used for select crimes and being beheaded could be the punishment for lesser crimes. :)

Re: The Chinese have given me a fantasy!!!

Posted: Sat Oct 31, 2009 8:03 pm
by wallenstein (imported)
FianceeUvBigGuy (imported) wrote: Wed Nov 21, 2007 8:33 pm Free shrimp and pork egg rolls for life! Well, that's ONE fantasy!

As an added attraction they could build the bus with huge side windows, like some custom private rigs, and folks could watch the action.

Well, just thought I'd mention it.;)

Maybe not just huge windows, but video cameras in all sections of the bus, documenting the whole procedure, the so called squatting session. Clients and other interested parties are offered to purchase a video at a reasonable price, and some of the material is used for tv-documentation etc.