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i see nor hide or hair of it, did it get nuked?

DonFL (imported) wrote: Fri Nov 23, 2007 5:12 pm i see nor hide or hair of it, did it get nuked?

There was a personals forum. But, from what has been written by others it appeared to contain more fantasy than the story archive (I never used it so cannot speak from experience).

When the entire site was trashed by trolls it was one of the areas which was badly affected. From comments from IE and the good Sister, the schedule for its return is sometime in the next millenium.

Regards,

There have been a few "volunteers" who have looked into the Personals section. It was really LuvPain's baby and he was working on it. We have bought a package or two and evaluated it. but the Canned solutions are not flexible enough for this site and at a hundred a pop, kinda eat up the play money in a hurry.

He is on it. He could use a few more Volunteers to help out though.

surf_toad (imported) wrote: Fri Nov 23, 2007 10:01 pm There have been a few "volunteers" who have looked into the Personals section. It was really LuvPain's baby and he was working on it. We have bought a package or two and evaluated it. but the Canned solutions are not flexible enough for this site and at a hundred a pop, kinda eat up the play money in a hurry.

He is on it. He could use a few more Volunteers to help out though.

colin (imported) wrote: Fri Nov 23, 2007 6:19 pm There was a personals forum. But, from what has been written by others it appeared to contain more fantasy than the story archive (I never used it so cannot speak from experience).

When the entire site was trashed by trolls it was one of the areas which was badly affected. From comments from IE and the good Sister, the schedule for its return is sometime in the next millenium.

Pretty spot on. Unfortunately, Luv is no longer with us, so that option is no longer available. We did track down some personals software, and IE is checking on them to see how they would work, though utterly no promises.

As for a personals forum on the forum boards, that is OMDB - Over My Dead Body. Aside from the comment Colin made regarding fantasy (which is an understatement), quite a large number of personals posts in past were some pretty disgusting shit, even for a jaded old wench like me, who has seen or tried just about anything my vivid imagination could conjure (DO NOT try that at home). Many of them I summarily deleted with no loss. For the remainder, it would be nice to have a separate place for them, for legitimate contacts, above and beyond the MoM's that Bobbie and friends have so ably organized.

Aside from "policing" issues - we do have a few volunteers who could probably deal with a personals section well enough - there are also other considerations. Most prominent among them is that, in my mind, although many do not see it, we ARE making progress in SOME acceptance of eunuch issues by the medical establishment (especially in terms of gender and in context of BIID), as well as the public and some of the media. A stark example is the things that Roger ("the fraj") has been doing in UK, and other articles and documentaries (select few) that have been very sympathetic. As well, there is the work being done by Jesus and Dr. Wassersug, and several of their associates and students in this area, fueled by the EA survey and the resulting papers published in professional journals recently.

In addition, I am in process of setting up some interviews/discussions with one or more of the folks at the University of Minnesota's Center for Human Sexuality (these folks are VERY influential and prominent in the areas of gender issues, and are fully aware of and alert to, issues of BIID). Jesus and Dr. Wassersug have also had extensive discussion with these folks, as well as many others prominent in this field. Additionally, several of us frequently send copies of the EA survey papers to various urologists and related professionals, as we can afford copy and postage costs.

Given these things, the forums are quite often our "face to the world," and is not something that needs to be demeaned by often very offensive personals. Give those folks here who are very serious about this issue (as opposed to never-to-be-fulfilled fantasy) an opportunity to bring acceptance and validity to very real needs. Help keep us out of the back alleys.

The above is definitely NOT intended to be a slap in the face of those who experience eunuchism solely from the perspective of fantasy and/or play. This place is in many ways a very validating response and place for them, as well. Here they can find that their fantasies are no less valid than others, and not at all uncommon.

I hope this brings some clarity to the issue, and why I am very opposed to putting personals into the forums. Rational discussion and debate is certainly welcome, but to be honest I will be fairly hard to convince to take another view. One is always open to re-consider, but I have thought and debated and discussed this for several years with a number of others, and am fairly confident in my thoughts.

Reactions and other considered thoughts?

I still maintain that a moderated forum would work. It would have to be specified that totally depraved messages would not be allowed and that posts would *not* be posted immediately - IE moderated and items that are totally unacceptable not be released from a queue.

I do not know the complete inner workings of the archive, but this one seemed plausible. However you'd need more than one person to help moderate it. I volunteered in PM to Krister, but I have been known to take off to some far-flung locale (most recently Swaziland, yes I've been there) for weeks at a time.

Overall I think there is a desire on the part of the management to bring something back, it's just moving at a glacial pace.

i know i purchased a few packages that were "canned" but they would not work. IEunuch does not want to put something really lame up and call it good. He really cares. i have not done any kind of programming in any language for years and i don't feel qualified. i have done what i can from here. now that i live in Missouri, it's a lot harder for me to help. but i will do everything i can from here.

As a long term visitor, and occasional poster to this forum, I will offer a suggestion to the powers that be.

Once suitable personals software is located, create a personals section on a pay as you go basis.

Several of the posts in this thread subtlely allude to a shortage of funds to operate. Having a for fee personals section would help to raise some much needed capital.

I also would think that the least desireable element would be hesitant to pay said fee. This would make any personals section a bit more real, and offer a less mainstream option to meet others of like mind set.

Further, anyone who was using the site as a source for enlightenment into the whole eunuch culture, would be unlikely to pay the personals fee as well.

All this would then make the personals visible, but at the same time more hidden, than if they were just an open forum.

Just throwing an idea out there,

Raymar

I seem to agree with losethem in most of what he says. It would have to be moderated well and not appear trashy for the general public and make us look depraved or something. I could help with that if needed.

Losethem (imported) wrote: Sat Nov 24, 2007 2:09 am I still maintain that a moderated forum would work. It would have to be specified that totally depraved messages would not be allowed and that posts would *not* be posted immediately - IE moderated and items that are totally unacceptable not be released from a queue.

Overall I think there is a desire on the part of the management to bring something back, it's just moving at a glacial pace.

^

what he said

You should keep them separate. the forums from the personals. it is all about the different crowds that are involved. We have a few dedicated souls here that are also found in the chatroom. Some of us even write a story or two. But by and large, each is a different group with different needs.

That is why forums are, though workable, not the best solution. Why settle for a quick fix if it does not really fix anything and could potentially cause more harm than good. if anyone has experience in this area, please contact anyone here and get us a personals section. Those of us that want this don't know how to do it or we would have by now.

sorry for bringing up the topic, evidently there was some burn. I just got to thinking laying lin my lonely bed healing from my last procedure, how ARE we supposed to do it. I just we use existing sites, and put out original and most dominant sex.

DonFL (imported) wrote: Sat Nov 24, 2007 6:14 am sorry for bringing up the topic, evidently there was some burn. I just got to thinking laying lin my lonely bed healing from my last procedure, how ARE we supposed to do it. I just we use existing sites, and put out original and most dominant sex.

Don't be sorry. Despite sometimes strong feelings, open discussion is often useful in clearing up issues, and often eliciting and forging ideas on how to proceed in the best manner.

I keep thinking I'm going to take a break from posting here . I'm in agreement with Kristoff and surf-toad. There are no new insights I can add to what they've already stated so well. As someone who is dealing with gender/BIID issues in a very deliberate manner (through the University of Minnesota Center for Human Sexuality mentioned by Kristoff), I'd like there to be a clear demarcation between any personals and the forums. I've been informed before that the forums are being taken more seriously by the professionals who deal with sexuality, gender and BIID and see this as a really good and exciting development. I've done my small part by giving my gender therpaist the excellent, well-researched, clearly written, balanced papers of Jesus, Richard Wassersug et al. There are a number of needs being met by EA. One of those is helping men who are struggling with gender and or BIID issues. Many having been waging this battle for decades. The personal histories of many of them are extremely powerful and compelling testaments to the pain they experience and the difficulties they face in getting their needs met. The more this site can aid, in a non-sensational way, the acceptance of our community and the meeting of its needs, the better for everyone here. The fantasy side of things seen in the stories is fine and meets another, legitimate need. There is a clear separation, though, between the stories and the forums. [As an aside, if you are seriously dealing with gender and/or BIID issues and have an interest in becoming a eunuch, write to Jesus and he will send you copies. Consider taking them to your therpaist if you're seeing one. If you are not yourself interested in all the details of the papers, you may still find that reading the abstract and conclusion sections interesting.]

I figured it was about time I weighed in here.

When we get a new personals section, it most definitely will not be a part of the forums here. A vast majority of those who would use it don't ever come to the forums, just reading the stories and moving on.

I am testing some software, or at least attempting to. The hard part is getting the stuff to run correctly, as it doesn't seem to want to install into WAMP so I can give it a going over at home before testing it on the server. If that software doesn't suit our needs, I will keep looking. The personals will return, it's just a matter of finding software that suits both our budget, and our needs.

And yes, 'pay-for-play' options are a background thought for the personals, when they eventually return. That of course, depends on software costs, increased server load, etc etc etc.