My Penectomy story from the hospital

[mccrayle (imported)]

I can at times still feel my penis. Sometimes it itches but I have nowhere to scratch. I believe that these phantoms will disappear after a few weeks; until my brain re-maps itself.

Hi, I hope it's not inappropriate to ask a question as direct as this, but...

It's now two years since - did your expectation come through? Did the phantom feelings go away after a few weeks?

[YodaNell (imported)]

Hi, I hope it's not inappropriate to ask a question as direct as this, but...

It's now two years since - did your expectation come through? Did the phantom feelings go away after a few weeks?

Hi mccrale, I think I expressed myself incorrectly in my quote above. I never felt a phantom penis. I felt a phantom little annoying itch somewhere in the air (about 2cm) in front of my groin. The itch was like a little pin prick and doesn't matter how I try to locate the source, I could not scratch it. It was not present the whole time but it would come and then go away. By the time my deep stiches inside urethra and stump dissolved, so that little itch disappeared. I guess that one of those stitches caused the itch 'Phantom' and my brain sensed the itch outside my body as part of the nerves that served my penis is still present on my stump. Don't know if I'm making any sense. But, I never felt a phantom penis.

[mccrayle (imported)]

Thank you very much for the elucidation!

[daifu-orchid (imported)]

Many eunuchs say they are happy being eunuchs (self included), but if you are a nullo, how do you feel now after being done?

Does it feel good, and if so, how long was it after the procedure before you felt this way?

Maybe it was all a mistake, a triumph, a what? Do share....

[Mac (imported)]

I think it is great that YodaNell was able to realize his desire to be nullo and is content with the result. I would like to find a way to achieve the same.

YodaNell if you are still here please give us an update.

[YodaNell (imported)]

Hey guys!!!! Long time no see...anyway...GREAT NEWS!!!!

On Friday the 14th (Next Friday) my plastic surgeon is going to remove the rest of my stump! I'm so happy because, as you can recall, the stump irritated the heck out of me.

On Valentine this year I celebrated my 3rd year as a nullo. Still very happy about it. Don't miss my penis at all. Actually, it is in a glass jar (mummified and in pieces) in my desk drawer in my bedroom.

Anyway just thought you all should know. I will write again...from my hospital room

Cheers!

PS. Now I must just get the nipples removed and my journey will be completed.

[david_es (imported)]

Hi everyone. I want to say thank you to each person who wrote in here. It is very helpful to see so many persons choosing to live in a different manner. This "zoo" as you named it is a very interesting place to learn about being eunuch. When I found EA the first thought was ...these guys are so calm when they post their opinions... So happy to join to the club.

YodaNell, can I get your email, please? Thanks.

[YodaNell (imported)]

Hi guys! So...yesterday I was under the knife again. They gave me a spinal block, so I was 'awake' during the procedure. I was slightly sedated though. I asked my Plastic Surgeon if he could make a video recording of the op but he said that my request came a bit too late. Then I asked him if there was a way that I could at least see how he performs the op (just for closure), but that could not happen as well. Finally I requested the removed specimen and he agreed to let me have it.

The procedure took from 2 PM to just after 5 PM. I could just feel "pulls" and "tugs" as they worked on me. We exchanged some small talk. At some point I could feel some pain "down there"...not much...but the spinal is starting to wear off as I could move my feet, which was positioned the same way as woman in labour. So my anesthesialist injected some milky like solution into my IV and BOY...I felt good. I did not sleep but it was like I was "swifting" almost drunk-like.

At some point during the procedure, my Plastic Surgeon told me that he can see why I felt very uncomfortable with the stump. My previous Plastic Surgeon (3 years ago) did a hasty job. Apparently my stump was a bit too long and he folded (or rolled like a sausage) it back and closed the skin over it. Now I just thank God that my new Plastic Surgeon removed my stump right up to the anus. I have the specimen as proof so this time I KNOW it is removed.

OK...today (Saturday), I'm typing this post in heavy pain. It feels as if someone took a bayonet and stabbed me in the pee-hole. I am on Morphine and a couple of other pain killers. My doc just gave me a visit an hour ago and he said everything look good to him. There is much less swelling that he expected. Oh...he also relocated the pee-hole a bit closer to the anus because after removing the rest of the stump, the urethra would lay bare (without the support of the Corpora Cavernosa) which could cause problems in the future.

So...that's it! I'll be going home as soon as the doc remove the catheter...Monday maybe.

Keep well!

[daifu-orchid (imported)]

Congratulations on the successful surgery! Hope you feel more comfortable soon.

I suspect there are many here who would like you to tell how it all goes from now.

[YodaNell (imported)]

Thanks

Congratulations on the successful surgery! Hope you feel more comfortable soon.

I suspect there are many here who would like you to tell how it all goes from now.

Thanks DO...pain is unbearable at times, but that is to be expected with such deep invasive surgery.

Otherwise, I'm on morphine and use my time now (in hospital) to hang around on Eunuch Archive reading LOTS of posts...you know...catching up. Normally, during the year, I do not get time to hang around the archive.

Anyway, keep well.

[YodaNell (imported)]

Second day - Post Op.

Pain level is high 7/10

Morphine makes me sleep all day.

I'm glad that I'm constipated at the moment because

I don't think I'll be able to handle

the pressure down there when excreting.

I put my hand down there in an effort to feel what the doc did. Feels pretty swelled up to me. I'm sure that area will look good once the swelling comes down and everything settles.

The doc said that he is going to remove the catheter tomorrow.

[daifu-orchid (imported)]

Just to cheer up... A nullo done in Thailand told me he felt pretty much beat up after the rearrangement, and as a week came up, he wondered if things would ever be good. Then, it seems that one feels human again quite quickly, the remaining discomfort settles gradually over the next several weeks. -And then, just what was wanted, neatly nulled with a small pee in front of the anus, and a single midline meeting a short across line under the pubis. Haven't heard in a while, but up to a couple of years ago, he seemed happy with the result.

Hope you're just as happy!

[wishtobe (imported)]

YodaNell,

I had my operation on a Monday and its was a radical, they removed my catheter after 5days, I still had to stay another day to see that I could pass urine correctly.

My reroute is about 3cm from my anus so I wipe the front from the front and the rear from the rear. my operation took about 90mins but I was out over 6hrs. When I came to I drifted in and out of sleep for the next 24hrs, after that it got better every day. I am almost a month without my penis and I really feel at peace. Have put my hand there and it feels really strange but hard to explain. I don't miss it at all and I can start to see why some people prefer not to have one. Its always in the way, mine was....... As I said to Hash, if you can get into MBM I have put my photos of my operation over there, and you can compare them to yours and will have a idea how long it will take to heal. best wishes for a speedy recovery.

[YodaNell (imported)]

YodaNell,

I had my operation on a Monday and its was a radical, they removed my catheter after 5days, I still had to stay another day to see that I could pass urine correctly.

My reroute is about 3cm from my anus so I wipe the front from the front and the rear from the rear. my operation took about 90mins but I was out over 6hrs. When I came to I drifted in and out of sleep for the next 24hrs, after that it got better every day. I am almost a month without my penis and I really feel at peace. Have put my hand there and it feels really strange but hard to explain. I don't miss it at all and I can start to see why some people prefer not to have one. Its always in the way, mine was....... As I said to Hash, if you can get into MBM I have put my photos of my operation over there, and you can compare them to yours and will have a idea how long it will take to heal. best wishes for a speedy recovery.

So good to hear from you. Yes! It feels fantastic not having genitals. It is weird in the beginning trying to touch it only to find there is nothing there.

How did you convince the docs to remove it?

Talking about Hash (and Mac), I wonder what happened to them because I have not seen them here since I logged in on Friday.

Keep enjoying being a nullo!

[Hash (imported)]

Hi Yoda and Wishtobe,

Glad everything is working out for you and I hope to join you soon as a nullo. However, I am moving in two weeks and even though my desire to remove my penis is overwhelming at times, I cannot mess up this move. I'm glad you've finally got the rest of your penis removed Yoda, so sorry that you're in so much pain. I'll be praying for you. Keep the faith. I'll be interested in hearing about your sensitivity down below and whether orgasms are a thing of the past for you. So keep us informed. As for me, I know how I'm going to remove my penis and I believe with all my knowledge and skill, I should be able to remove it easily and close things up without any major complications. I want to avoid the ER at all costs. Timing is everything. I'll keep you up to date.

[YodaNell (imported)]

Hash! at last...so nice to hear from you.

The pain is decreasing as time goes by. I doubt I'll be able to orgasm, but I will let you know.

Yes, you told us last February that you are going to remove your penis in ONE year's time. A year is past now. Is your wife ok now with the idea? Wish I was there to assist you.

Anyway, it is now 05:26 and the nurse just brought me some coffee. I might go home today...we'll see.

Keep well old friend.

[Mac (imported)]

So good to hear from you. Yes! It feels fantastic not having genitals. It is weird in the beginning trying to touch it only to find there is nothing there.

How did you convince the docs to remove it?

Talking about Hash (and Mac), I wonder what happened to them because I have not seen them here since I logged in on Friday.

Keep enjoying being a nullo!

I have been very busy the past week. Glad to hear that you have finally completed the procedure. I still don't have much hope of getting mine removed.

[YodaNell (imported)]

I have been very busy the past week. Glad to hear that you have finally completed the procedure. I still don't have much hope of getting mine removed.

Hi Mac! Nice to hear from you too. Don't worry...it will happen, when the desire reach it's maximum.

I hope you have a blessed Easter.

[wishtobe (imported)]

So good to hear from you. Yes! It feels fantastic not having genitals. It is weird in the beginning trying to touch it only to find there is nothing there.

How did you convince the docs to remove it?

Talking about Hash (and Mac), I wonder what happened to them because I have not seen them here since I logged in on Friday.

Keep enjoying being a nullo!

Yoda,

I used ethanol to remove my testicles, after that I went one step further and did the ethanol over 18mnth period into the two corpus of my penis. I was then diagnosed with Peyronie's and of course it got worse and worse to the point that I had also damaged the prudential nerves and had serious pain and urination problems. In the end I begged them to remove it so I could be in less pain. the last 6months was hell.. your way was much less painfull, I was thinking about doing the same as you but it would have been hard for me to hide a squashed penis for 2days.

take care.

[Hash (imported)]

Hi Guys,

Boy "wishtobe" those pictures on MBM are amazing. Did the surgeon remove everything or leave a stump? Right now the aftermath looks gruesome, why didn't the surgeon clean things up to give you a more smooth look? Also what does your wife/partner think of your penectomy? Sorry for the questions, but I think it will benefit me as well as others. Thanks again.

Yoda, I'm not sure my wife is totally o.k. with me getting my penis removed. I have told her repeatedly about my desire for several years and I think she is at least somewhat prepared. I almost cut it totally off in 2009 and that through her for a loop. I ended up in a Psychiatric Hospital for a week and I certainly don't want to do that again. It was a nice rest from the stress of life, but it was also embarrassing. My wife doesn't use my penis and intercourse would be difficult since I can't get a full erection, but I think from her perspective, without a penis means I'm somewhat less a man or husband. Maybe it makes me more like her and that's hard for her to accept, I'm not sure. Being castrated took awhile for her to get used too, but she accepted it. She also has a low sexual desire since her hysterectomy years ago. She actually blames herself for my problems, stating that had she been more sexually active it (my castration) might not have happened. Some of that might be true, but it's probably true for most couples. Sex early on in the marriage is good, but after a few years, women start to lose their desire and a lot of men become frustrated and resort to other sexual avenues or deviations in order to satisfy their sexual cravings. So getting my penectomy is complex or complicated, I'd cut it off today if there weren't any physical or emotional complications from doing it, but as I said, the timing has to be right. Keep me in your prayers my brother. Stay on the path of righteousness. Hash

[YodaNell (imported)]

Hello Hash...I hear you. My wife was also not interested in sex so much, which was very frustrating to me. Being a Christian, I could/would not try to find it elsewhere. I felt it was very unfair and reading posts on the forum where men and woman really enjoy sex, brought me great despair. After the divorce, I could obviously find another woman (and there were a few), but it is just like you said, they loose interest as they get older.

It is because of THAT AND the constant sexual clouding of the mind, that I decided to get rid of my genitals and sexuality. Now, for an 'every day' kind of guy, he would never even consider it, but as I disliked the looks of a penis and testicles from a very early age, the decision to remove it was not difficult at all. That is maybe why I do not regret this action or feel intense frustration. There were moments when I missed my penis, but it is just for a minute or two when I look at a girl and 'knew' I could make love to her if I still had a penis. But, looking in a mirror, I am reminded of my age and 18 year old girls don't take guys of our age...normally. I really like girls between 18 and 25. Those are their best years...sexually...imo.

Anyway, your wife had a hysterectomy, and she is not less of a woman. If she should get breast cancer and they remove it, she will still be a woman and loved by you. Our bodies are just 'tents' in which we live. People loose their teeth, eyes, limbs, breasts, genitals, hair and minds Go for it, she will always love you.

Regards old friend

Penectomy feels amazing and I know you will love it...IF that's what you want.

[YodaNell (imported)]

Hello julle...

So...my doc just gave me a visit. He is happy with the outcome of the procedure so far. He removed the catheter (which was not a nice feeling) and instructed me to go pee every two hours. Not looking forward to pee...scared it will burn the micro stitches around to urethra.

One more morphine shot after supper, then on to pain tablets...damn!

[Hash (imported)]

I got my catheter out after my reroute and it did sting a bit, but after a few trips to the bathroom, things were better. Keep us informed of your progress. Run the race to win!

[YodaNell (imported)]

I got my catheter out after my reroute and it did sting a bit, but after a few trips to the bathroom, things were better. Keep us informed of your progress. Run the race to win!

Come run with me!

[YodaNell (imported)]

This is my last post from the hospital. The doctor released me. I'm going home at 10 AM, hour and a half from now. He prescribed strong pain killers. I'm still quite sore and some bleeding. Will stop at some time. I must just keep everything clean and make use of salt baths.

Ok...let's see if I reached my goal at last. I will visit again to report.

All the best to everyone.