Testosterone changed my gender and eliminated the desire for castration

[Wolf-Pup (imported)]

I disagree. I think it is a very individual thing. For myself, when I started on injections I did some experimenting and no matter how high a load I injected, it didn't make me an aggressive/angry dominating person. I think there has to be a pre-disposition to those things, and they can be channeled as you have explained. Just as everything else, from T to E to Depo your mileage may vary.

Not all men are 'macho' by nature. For instance I don't think an effeminate man, gay or straight, is indicative that they are of a lower testosterone level. Also there have been plenty of guys on here who were Low T and once they got up to normal levels they were LESS aggressive/angry. They leveled out and were much easier to live with...

[guy26 (imported)]

A lot of people get confused about this, but let me explain. When you have testosterone, the aggression, libido, and energy are very different. I personally like it a lot better, and like you said it can feel more "laid back". But don't be complacent -- here's how to look at it.

When a low testosterone person or a woman talks about being angry, they really mean a feeling of "irritation" or being "peeved". You won't feel this with high testosterone; however what you will feel is a very primal urge to physically dominate. It will feel good to punch someone or to shout and rage at a loved one just for the "fun of it". A young man wants to fight. Not because they are irritable or actually mad for any reason, but they just like the idea of purely physical altercation. Where you will feel this "anger management issue" is when you are outright confronted or challenged (for example your anger at your children misbehaving, or road rage type stuff).

When a low testosterone has sexual frustration it is sort of an agitation feeling, some sort of discomfort in the loins and stomach (at least that's where I feel it). When you have high testosterone, instead the sexual buildup feels GOOD. You lust after women, just walking around can give you an erection, etc. But that will start to get to be too much pressure.

When a low testosterone person has anxiety, it is a nervousness, almost a fear. Whereas a high testosterone person will feel it as positive energy, yet it will also become a bit manic, lead to a certain type of insomnia, etc.

So, yes you will feel good. It will feel better than the low testosterone versions of the feelings. But trust me, if you get into high testosterone range you will feel like a dominant guy, and that means physically dominant (and therefore anger when challenged), horny (meaning you feel constantly sexual until it drives you crazy), and energetic (until you realize that you're not truly relaxing).

I find your experience with testosterone quite interesting. I'm not inclined to push my testosterone levels much if any beyond taking the Androgel every 3 days. It feels that I have found just the right amount. I can feel like a guy, but it also doesn't drastically change who I am.

As Wolf-Pup pointed out, hormones may be one of the greatest cases of YMMV-your mileage may vary. I have no idea if I would be capable of feeling like an alpha male as you describe. I have not felt things as you describe, so I have my doubts. It is hard to imagine that I would ever enjoy challenging other people just for the hell of it. But who knows. There seems to be a huge difference between taking the Androgel every 2 days versus every 3 days. I can't even begin to imagine what it would be like going beyond that. I don't want to find out. To be honest, the prospect of taking more scares me. Testosterone has the power to change who I am.

It's interesting that you describe having higher testosterone as having more energy and almost feeling a bit manic. Initially I had some reservations that higher testosterone levels might affect my bipolar and cause me to be manic. Luckily that hasn't been the case. To my greatest surprise, I haven't had *any* mood problems since I started using the Androgel. In terms of my mood, I haven't felt this way since before puberty and the onset of bipolar symptoms. I have no idea why Androgel is affecting me this way. I am definitely not complaining!

I have experienced sexual frustration, but only as a part of experiencing hypersexuality. It is a load of fun for about a week. After that, it is miserable, crazy, irritating, frustrating, and I find it more and more difficult to control. So while I have noticed a moderate uptick in the frequency of feeling sexual, it doesn't seem uncomfortable, insane, or out of control. In some ways I feel that the testosterone has increased the frequency of feeling sexual, but it has decreased the intensity of it.

[SplitDik (imported)]

I find your experience with testosterone quite interesting. I'm not inclined to push my testosterone levels much if any beyond taking the Androgel every 3 days. It feels that I have found just the right amount. I can feel like a guy, but it also doesn't drastically change who I am.

As Wolf-Pup pointed out, hormones may be one of the greatest cases of YMMV-your mileage may vary. I have no idea if I would be capable of feeling like an alpha male as you describe. I have not felt things as you describe, so I have my doubts. It is hard to imagine that I would ever enjoy challenging other people just for the hell of it. But who knows. There seems to be a huge difference between taking the Androgel every 2 days versus every 3 days. I can't even begin to imagine what it would be like going beyond that. I don't want to find out. To be honest, the prospect of taking more scares me. Testosterone has the power to change who I am.

It's interesting that you describe having higher testosterone as having more energy and almost feeling a bit manic. Initially I had some reservations that higher testosterone levels might affect my bipolar and cause me to be manic. Luckily that hasn't been the case. To my greatest surprise, I haven't had *any* mood problems since I started using the Androgel. In terms of my mood, I haven't felt this way since before puberty and the onset of bipolar symptoms. I have no idea why Androgel is affecting me this way. I am definitely not complaining!

I have experienced sexual frustration, but only as a part of experiencing hypersexuality. It is a load of fun for about a week. After that, it is miserable, crazy, irritating, frustrating, and I find it more and more difficult to control. So while I have noticed a moderate uptick in the frequency of feeling sexual, it doesn't seem uncomfortable, insane, or out of control. In some ways I feel that the testosterone has increased the frequency of feeling sexual, but it has decreased the intensity of it.

I still think you're not quite getting the meaning of my words. Testosterone will make all these feelings (energy, aggression, sexuality) more "comfortable". It will feel more natural, more relaxed, less disquieting, etc. However, I would still say that it is an increase in energy, an increase in aggression, and increase in sexuality. It may seem contradictory to say that you have more energy AND feel more relaxed, or that you feel more aggressive AND less prone to get irritated, or that you feel more sexual AND feel less frustration. But in my experience that is what happens for me, and I think you're describing the same thing -- just using different words.

But the behavioral changes I'm talking about really manifest themselves only when the situation warrants. So I'm just warning you that you may surprise yourself to fine that you act DIFFERENT than you have previously in certain situations. It takes a physical confrontation, or a physical temptation, to really bring out the testosterone-based "male animal" responses. So just be ready.

On the other hand, I do agree that YMMV and don't mean to invalidate any differences in our experiences. Just trying to explain that I was personally surprised by changes in behavior, and warn others in case it happens to them.