Ready for the testicles to go

[ChristianPath (imported)]

Basically I have difficulty falling asleep without masturbating. That is just one of many reasons I am ready to cut them off. Thank God I have a good quantity of Lidocaine. I cant afford the real surgery, so I am going to follow the methods used at www.orlive.tv, etc. make sure I get all of the testicle and epididymis out, then call the ambulance and get some real care, which, even though I cant afford, will finalize my care and bring me to healthiness.

[Dave (imported)]

Don't do that.

The ambulance might not make it in time before you bleed out.

You will end up in a psychiatric hospital for evaluation with a giant bill handed to you when they let you out.

There are medications that will shut down your sex drive and accomplish the same result.

That's not fast or sexy or impressive but it is effective.

[nullorchis (imported)]

An excessive amount of testosterone I found can drive you to do things that are not safe or wise.

Rush to your physician and get a testosterone level test.

If you have an excessive amount of T in your system your physician can prescribe something to help.

Testosterone is powerful, but do everything in your power to not let it make you do something to yourself that is unsafe, harmful, and potentially deadly.

[george2u2 (imported)]

It sounds to me that you are wanting to give up your addiction to masturbation for your unrecognized addiction to religion.

Yes, religion is an addiction! It's the one you couldn't wouldn't, shouldn't give up.

But the truth will set you free.

[Caith721 (imported)]

Anatomy and gravity are strong opponents when attempting to self-castrate. They will both encourage heavy bleeding as soon as you cut. Don't do it. Besides the risk for serious infection is just too likely.

[transward (imported)]

I think you need to study and rethink your faith. If you look at the lives of the giants of Christianity you will see that they wrestled greatly with temptation. You do not become a great tennis player by playing without a net, there is no virtue in resisting a temptation you cannot feel. Chastity is no virtue for the sexless. To develop spiritual muscles you must use them. If you try to achieve virtue by eliminating temptation, you will eventually fail, because it will always find you, and you will not have the strength to resist. It is the child whose parents have shielded them from all temptation, who gets to college and goes the wildest. For these reasons, Origen one of the greatest of the early church fathers, was denied sainthood, because he took Matthew's advise that "If thy hand offend thee, cut it off," and castrated himself. You develop will by using it, not by coddling it.

Transward

[Paolo]

Uh, that link shows up as being for sale?

I have to agree, I wouldn't attempt to do it myself.

However, and I say this in jest, if you are set on doing it, do it just outside the ER doors!

(Which will still get you 3 days or so in the psych ward, I'm sure!)

[nosexatall (imported)]

You´re fighting against a human male´s nature.

Masturbating is normal behaviour of a man.

It´s nothing wrong about it.

And, it´s not against God´s will.

If you´re jewish or even christian you aren´t even allowed to get castrated.

So, you can say, castration is against God´s will.

For an orthodox jewish or christian it isn´t even allowed, to have their male animals castrated.

If you want to follow those religious rules, you have to stay as uncut male.

Even there ist a strong desire of masturbating.

If you don´t do this in public, it doesn´t matter.

It´s nothing wrong about it.

[Hash (imported)]

Please read YodaNell's blogs: http://www.eunuch.org/forums/showthread ... highlight=

Yoda Nell is a Christian who removed his genitals. Also, you could ask your doctor for chemical castration, which would help relieve your desires and prepare you for the future.

[nutme248 (imported)]

I agree with most everything everyone has said. If you do it yourself, you could risk death and if you DO make it to the ER, you'll be in a psych ward until they think you are ready to be released. I am a Christian also and I still have my testicles and therefore my sex drive. My gut hunch is that other issues are involved in this too.

[Slammr (imported)]

You say you can't afford it? Do you think they aren't going to charge you for the ambulance, the ER, the Psych, and follow up care? I assure you, it will be much more expensive using this method, even if you are the one that cuts them off. That's if you don't bleed out and die before they get to you, which, if that happens, will solve your problems.

I wish I still wanted to masturbate before falling to sleep every night.

[Paolo]

As I understand it, the only reference in the KJV remotely resembling masturbation is in the Old Testament.

Onan.

That bastard.

God told him to pork his sister in law, since his brother had dropped dead.

Onan didn't want to, and pulled out and shot it on the ground.

He was struck down for disobeying God in the matter of being told to pork her and have a son in his dead brother's name.

How odd is that?!

He was NOT struck down for masturbating.

Also, someone please find me the red letters in the KJV where it says "Thou shalt not whack off!"

[nosexatall (imported)]

I do understand the desire to be castrated.

But not only to keep you away from masturbating.

http://www.google.de/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=c ... Xnj81utVXQ

At least this is less dangerous.

Perhaps one of those could be a solution for your problem:

[Hash (imported)]

ChristianPath where are you? I fear since he has not responded he may have followed through with his plan. I hope not, but it wouldn't surprise. Maybe he'll surface soon.

[janekane (imported)]

When a person "cries out for help," I have observed two rather common basic responses from other people, and an assortment of rather uncommon basic responses. The common responses are, "I don't want to hear about it," and "Tell me more." The uncommon responses are of the form, "How may I be of useful help?"

The common responses are, in my lifelong experience thus far, of denial, in one way or another, of the validity of the expressed need for help, as though another person can better understand the need of the person crying out for help than the person who is crying out. I find that to be somewhere near the core of the supposed existential human tragedy.

For what it may be worth, although I identify at the core of my awareness as inextricably transgender (or transgendered, if that is the preferred word), for me, being transgendered alone would not have led me to my 1986 orchiectomy. My sense of cancer risk, from a genetic condition now labeled attenuated familial adenomatous polyposis, was far more than sufficient for me to seek both removal of my testicles and removal of my colon in the summer of 1986.

While I am well aware of castration done successfully (people having survived it alive), I am unaware of anyone having ever done a self-colectomy, nor can I imagine it ever being possible for a person to do a self-colectomy and remain alive. I had to seek and find doctors who were able to understand that my need for surgeries was not negotiable.

For me, given my understanding of biology and cancer and my personal a-priori cancer risk, not having gotten my orchiectomy and my colectomy in 1986 was indistinguishable from my willfully choosing to commit suicide by neglect of my need for bodily safety from cancer the risk of which, as I understood my family medical history, would have, in the orthodox Christian sense, have been tantamount to my demanding that I be put to eternal torment in the worst hell that would be worse than can ever be imagined.

Though, as an autistic person, I have been met with what I experienced as shattering torture, most intensely by my second grade teacher and grade school principal for the first about-three-quarters of second grade, no amount of abuse from people who disrespect transgender(ed) people, and no amount of abuse from people who disrespect autistic people, has yet had any effect upon me other than to increase my resolve to avert any form of implementation of any suicide plan.

There have been people who have apparently committed suicide by mistake. Sylvia Plath may be an example of one such person, for all I can yet understand.

In my understanding of life and what human life is about, "Desire to become a eunuch that my sexual desires will not be in conflict with God's will for my life," is as valid a reason as any other for effectively seeking and receiving a bilateral orchiectomy.

I have never allowed another person to define who I am in terms of my innermost sense of personhood; to me, people who successfully coerce other people into denying their innermost sense of self are among the most interpersonally abusive people I have ever encountered. Alas, in my understanding of humanity, people who so coerce others were themselves so coerced; people who abuse other people do so in acting out their prior experiences of having been abused by other people, and this pattern of abuse being propagated from one generation to the next has, in my bioengineering research findings, apparently been a human socialization mandate, at least in every society in which shame is a necessary aspect of social organization, for tens of thousands of years.

So, in 1986, how was I able to get a safe and effective orchiectomy? I will not name the doctors, and will describe the process that worked for me, albeit in a way that effectively rules out identifying any of the doctors.

I began by recognizing my innermost sense of self, and recognizing that I would have to be suicidal to not effectively seek and receive both the orchiectomy and colectomy. Because my dad had "almost died" from prostate disease about 15 years before he died as a consequence of metastatic colon cancer, I set out first to arrest what I deemed unconscionable prostate cancer death risk.

I consulted a urologist who was a colleague of my primary care physician. The urologist refused to consider my understanding of cancer risk, and indicated that what I wanted was indicative of psychosis.

I consulted a psychiatrist with expertise in human sexuality, and determined that my concern was not indicative of psychosis.

I returned to the urologist, who then stated that he/she would not do anything, but "a doctor in a third-rate hospital" might do as I was requesting. However, that urologist also indicated that there would be no trace of our having talked about cancer risk and a possible orchiectomy in her/his medical records regarding me.

I obtained an Elastrator and bands from a farm supply company, to use as a form of persuader in the manner of, "If you won't, I will..."

Allowing that vasectomy clinics might qualify as third-rate hospitals because of their limited treatment options, I set about calling vasectomy clinics within a radius of about 200 miles from where I lived.

With each vasectomy clinic I called, I learned more and more effectively how to communicate my sense of need for cancer prevention.

Eventually, I came in contact with a doctor whose dad had died following ineffective prostate cancer treatment, and who was able to understand my sense of risk enough to agree to do the orchiectomy, but only with the provision that there would be no record to be found of his having done it; and with the provision that I would never, never ever, identify him/her.

On the arranged day, after my work day was over, I went to the doctor, got my orchiectomy, the outcome of which was uneventful, and was properly at work, on time, the very next morning, as though nothing of consequence had happened.

The very next week, my older brother was diagnosed with terminal cancer, the form of cancer, the risk of which I had set out to prevent.

While my sense of being transgendered was never such as to lead me to get an orchiectomy for that reason alone, it surely did make getting the orchiectomy as a cancer-risk-minimizing effort remarkably free of inner conflict for me.

I was, for a number of years, a member of a "gender society" in one of the largest of the cities in the U.S.

Along the way, one member asked me why I did not cross-dress. My reply, "What makes you think I am not cross-dressed now?" When I tell people about that event, many people laugh. The person to whom I first said that did not laugh.

Because it helps to manage my sense of stress in social situations, I have effectively cross-dressed for my whole life.

I can pass as male in simple social situations. While I am autistic in the Kanner sense, I can pass as having Asperger's Syndrome in simple social settings, and can also pass as not autistic in very simple social settings.

Like Walter White, who was the head of the NAACP for many years, I identify as being a colored person, yet can pass as ''white" (a concept that I find impossible to actually understand) in simple social situations.

Walk past me in the aisle of a grocery store, and you may mistake me for being, in the social convention sense, "normal." I can often pass as being a normal person.

However, my understanding of biology informs me that I am actually neither more nor less normal than is anyone else, because independent assortment of genotypic and phenotypic traits is normal.

Indeed, the whole "normal curve" is normal.

For myself, the cost of my orchiectomy, which was done in the manner of "a radical vasectomy" was much less than I would expect that an ambulance ride and post-self-botched-surgery aftercare would have cost me.

What would I do now, were I aware of the Eunuch Archive and finding an orchiectomy appropriate in terms of the needs of my life in terms of its quality? I would refer people to the Archive, the better to inform those who could provide proper care if they understood the need some of us have accurately, of the alternatives to being given proper medical care appropriate to the needs of the individual person seeking actually appropriate care and surgical treatment.

There may be one advantage I had in getting my "radical vasectomy" (bilateral orchiectomy, that is). As part of my bioengineering education, I had taken the same medical physiology classes that future surgeons take. One of the physiology laboratory procedures I had done was a bilateral orchiectomy on a laboratory critter.

Knowing that I was transgendered when I did that laboratory critter bilateral orchiectomy, I had studied the medical literature in formidable detail to understand the various methods used and their risks, and used the procedure I found to pose the lowest overall risk in doing that laboratory critter bilateral orchiectomy.

When I sought a vasectomy doctor for my orchiectomy, my having done a laboratory critter bilateral orchiectomy as part of my medical physiology bioengineering education was plausibly vastly more persuasive than the Elastrator and bands.

I happen to be the sort of bioengineer who corrects errors I find that doctors are making regarding my medical care when I sense that the error is serious enough to warrant being corrected prior to a medical care blunder.

I corrected the resistance-to-my-bilateral-orchiectomy blunder before that blunder led to the sort of terminal cancer that terminated my dad's and brother's lives.

For all I yet know, the sort of accuracy of thinking that characterizes some aspects of the autism spectrum may have formidable merit in the future of humanity...

Why am I posting this? So that others may use it as part of being persuasive in getting their needs met. As for permission, this particular posting of mine is posted with a Culture Free Creative Commons "Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported (CC BY-SA 3.0)" license:

<a rel="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by- ... n_US"><img alt="Creative Commons License" style="border-width:0" src="http://i.creativecommons.org/l/by-sa/3.0/88x31.png" /></a><br />This work is licensed under a <a rel="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by- ... ">Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License</a>. http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

Having difficulty getting a safe and proper orchiectomy? How about printing out this post and taking a copy of it to whoever might wake up and recognize the validity of the needs of some people for a bilateral orchiectomy for the sake of actual quality of experienced life? What better justification could ever be found than the quality of life a person actually has?

It made no sense to me to put my life at risk to avoid putting my life at risk. And putting my life at risk to prevent putting my life at risk has not yet made any sense to me.

[gandalf (imported)]

While reading this post, I couldn't help but think of a couple of passages in the NT that deal with being a eunuch.

The first, in response to his disciples saying"....it is better not to marry". Jesus replied " Not everyone can accept this saying,but only those it has been given to. vs. 12..For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother's womb, there are eunuchs who were made that way by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves that way because of the kingdom of heaven. Let anyone accept this who can."

Also, Act 8:27-39 tells us about the Ethiopian eunuch who received baptism by Philip because he believed.

This one was made that way by men.

Ofttimes, we let the church elders(rulers) make decisions that are not really based on the Bible they are supposedly defending.

I guess you can tell I am a Christian...who has been made a eunuch. Granted it was medically needed. But it still happened.

[feedback (imported)]

I have been searching for a way to be castrated for years and have done the vodka injections hoping that that would satisfy my desire for castration. Unfortunately it has not and my doctor sees no need to remove what is left of my testicles. I am currently being referred to a shrink to help me try to understand where my desire for castration comes from. If my shrink will not recommend they be removed I am fully prepared to remove them myself. I know all about the dangers in going down this path but I have the proper clamps, sutures, antibiotics. and safety person lined up if need be. One does what one needs to do when there is no other option left that is affordable to them.

[YodaNell (imported)]

I would take Hash's advice, my friend. Go chemical first. Your body might not like being without testosterone. You'll feel all kinds of side effects like extreme tiredness, weight gain, sweating, flashes, boobs etc. Then, you'll end up having to inject T to counter those unwanted effects...bringing you back to square one. If, after a chemical trial, you like being T-less...then go for castration. Just also remember, castration does not castrate the mind. If you look at a beautiful girl, or man, you will still lust in your mind and probably end up masturbating (which will be extremely hard to do and frustration will set in...resulting in depression...probably ending in suicide). So, after castration, you'll need to work extremely hard at castrating the mind as well. If you are one of those who Jesus implied when He said "...Let anyone accept this WHO CAN...", then go for it.

Regarding men of God and castration...see my signature at the bottom of this post.

Peace to you all!

[nonuts (imported)]

I have been searching for a way to be castrated for years and have done the vodka injections hoping that that would satisfy my desire for castration. Unfortunately it has not and my doctor sees no need to remove what is left of my testicles. I am currently being referred to a shrink to help me try to understand where my desire for castration comes from. If my shrink will not recommend they be removed I am fully prepared to remove them myself. I know all about the dangers in going down this path but I have the proper clamps, sutures, antibiotics. and safety person lined up if need be. One does what one needs to do when there is no other option left that is affordable to them.

It sounds to me like you went about it all wrong.

Did you actually tell your doctor you injected them and wanted them gone? If so, yeah, many doctors, especially in conservative backgrounds would resist this.

With successful alcohol injections the approach with the hard and shrunken nuts (and you should be very low on testosterone) would be to come up with some story of an injury to them some 6-8 months prior. You say you fell on them or they got hit hard somehow, they swelled up huge, and you thought about seeing the doctor but was embarrassed (this they will understand). But, when the swelling went down and the pain went away you figured it was ok. But, now they are all hard, and small, and pulled up high, and I'm not getting erections like I was...then you just let the docs go to work. Be, the innocent victim of an injury, let them tell you they need to be removed. You have to work their bias against them. That's how it is.