Just a FYI

[Scottie (imported)]

Hi everyone: I havent written in a while but I thought Id write and let you all know whats going on. I have spoken to Dr. Kimmel and he wants to speak with my Doc here in Cleveland. Besides all the doc talk... The other night a piece of testicular tissue actually has seperated from the rest of the testicle in the sac. My doc looked at it and told me that it was not an issue for now, but did clearly indicate that my testicle was dead and it was disintegrating. We are currently trying to move up everything. He sees no risk at the moment yet wants to take the right action. So thats where we are today. Other than being tired and irratable and cranky at times things are going ok. My nipples hurt like hell and my breasts are bigger than ever before. I hope to hear from you all. Scottie I will keep you all posted

[Riverwind (imported)]

Yes I hope you get the date moved up to as soon as possible, and as for the nipples hurting that is normal it will stop in a couple of months but your nipple/breast will be a bit bigger and not much you can do about that.

Remember you have our support and please keep us informed of your progress. We all hope things go well for you.

[Scottie (imported)]

Everyone has been so kind to me. I keep waiting to find out how your healing is going. I am contemplating having my sac removed too, but isint that alot more healing then if I just have them cut my balls form my sac and leave my sac.??? Im not a good healer and Im not good with pain at all. Thanks, Scottie

[sag111 (imported)]

SCOTTIE it is good to here from you. You sound a little down but i am sure in a short while you can look back and be glady you done it If i where you i would probley remove the sac you have come to far to do it half way. good luck and may god bless you

[Paolo]

Scottie,

Glad to know you're up and about. DO take care of yourself and keep us posted.

[Scottie (imported)]

Physically all my friends my body is healing well. The testicles are dead and I have no feeling in them. In fact my Testicles are very dark from the skin of the sac to the inside. Its not critical yet but they are not functioning. My doc keeps saying that the tiredness and the emotional stuff are both psycological and hormonal. He told me what my body was going through and as some of you know it's a big transition. Today im just kinda down and craby don't want to be bothered by my Mistress. she can be a pain sometimes too. Last night I was sessioned in a dungeon with my mistress and my trainer. I was beaten yet it seemed that my tollerance for my punishemnts where also not up to par. In fact I ended up crying for the first time ever. So my life is changing and I am trying to learn to go with it. As alot of you know at best it is a big adjustment. I love you all and will keep you all posted. Scottie

[Riverwind (imported)]

If I had to do it over again I would still have the sac off at the same time but I have had nothing but trouble, I would recomend that you have the balls removed. then when healed then have the sac done. I think you will be happer and it will be less painfull in the long run.

[Scottie (imported)]

Hi Riverwind: sorry that you are having problems. could you share what they have been. I am not a real good healer to begin with. I think that this just might be a 2 stage operation. The castration is a real big adjustment in itself. So I am considering it both ways. What has happened to you that has made this so hard for you??? It would be very helpful to know. Scottie ps feel much better!!!!!

[SplitDik (imported)]

Today im just kinda down and craby don't want to be bothered by my Mistress. she can be a pain sometimes too. Last night I was sessioned in a dungeon with my mistress and my trainer. I was beaten yet it seemed that my tollerance for my punishemnts where also not up to par. In fact I ended up crying for the first time ever.

Scottie, I expect that you will find pain tolerance is related to testosterone levels and that you probably will not enjoy S&M as much. I think that this may be due to the fact that testosterone is involved in the adrenaline response, which changes one's perception of pain (and replaces it with exhileration). Furthermore, when testosterone levels are high many sensations become sexualized so you can ignore the pain part by perceiving it as a sexual sensation.

[Andrew (imported)]

I am not a real good healer to begin with. I think that this just might be a 2 stage operation. The castration is a real big adjustment in itself. So I am considering it both ways.

I myself had my operations in two stages. Mainly because I was not sure if I wanted to retain the scrotum or not. So on 14 May 2001, I was simply castrated by Dr. Spector. After a few months, I decided I didn't like the empty scrotum flapping, and had Dr. Kimmel remove it on 18 January 2002. In retrospect, I think it was a good idea to let the body rest and adjust between operations.

[happousai (imported)]

Why do women have higher pain tolerance than men? Does it have to do with hormones?

[Scottie (imported)]

I have shared so much, so I feel I should share a bit more about Scottie. Scottie is a real time, (no games) slave. I am branded on my left hind quarter. I am owned. Literally owned. I serve 24/7 as in last night up at 3 am because Mistress wanted me to open the window. I do everything for her and mostly I am not into the BDSM but am a service person. Eunuchs made great slaves and their focus became the welfare of their owners. My focus too is on that well fare and well being. Focusing on myself is really not what it is all about for me. There will be Spankings, and whippings and such, for I do misbehave and I do sass back once in a while. Aint easy being a real time no bullshit slave. It is constant, it is consistant it is forever unless I am sold or traded. I am apart of a network of slavery that exisists in the USA. I somehow even with lower testosterone must find a way to take the punishments that may be put upon me. It is not a choice. If I end up crying so be it. The castration is so very urgent and important at this point for Mistress wants it done too. I am searching for that sence of inner peace, the loss of anger, a genteler and kinder person in Scottie, Being able to understan my Mistress better by being closer to her than ever before. Not being that sex maniac male that I used to be. Now my right testicle is finally sealing up and not leaking anymore. The left one seems to be getting smaller. so is the right one. It is still deformed though. No pain at this time. Hardley any discharge when excited and orgasams are almost out. I can orgasam, but I find that I don't cum as I did... no force at all it just dribbles thats all. I dont care though if I continue to reach my goal. Dont hate me for being me please. What I say here is so important to me. You are all such good friends and listeners. I care for you all. God Bless Scottie

[Scottie (imported)]

When nobody answers a post, when nobody comments or emails or calls I wonder If you all are just busy, or did I say or do something wrong. I hope not. Your support is now apart ofmy life. I come here to learn and to recieve comfort and some understanding too. FYI..... as of now my right testicle is in 2 parts in the sac. The bottom portion that had become pointy and cone shapped

seperated from the rest of the testicle.

I saw the doc and he said not to wory. took a testosterone level too and I am at 10 points now. I had a fit yesterday. My Mistress yelled at me for not doing something and I threw my stuff down and ran to the bedroom where I wept for 15 minutes uncontrollably. Shit! So things are turning, changing, dying ect. Please write me soon. scottie

[SplitDik (imported)]

Scottie, don't worry -- I don't think you could ever say something that would piss any of us off. Some of us like A1 and I are pretty hard-headed so don't get affected by what people say. Others like Andrew are so calm and wise that I don't think you could affect them either. So you don't need to worry about us getting pissed or judgemental!

Regarding the 24/7 slavery, I think we understood that you were in that lifestyle.

However, I think you need to understand that your relationship with your Mistress will change and both of you need to do some serious adjustment. You need to discuss the whole thing with her, otherwise both of you will become frustrated. You are not going to be the same sassy, horny, pain-slut you might once have been. The sooner you both accept that, the better.

Please stay cheerful. Your posts are sounding a little depressed. Please take care of yourself. You might want to ask your doctor for some anti-depressants.

[madscientist (imported)]

Why not have prosthetic testis installed in your scrotum. And you never did tell me where you got the lactic acid.

[Paolo]

When nobody answers a post, when nobody comments or emails or calls I wonder If you all are just busy, or did I say or do something wrong. I hope not. Your support is now apart ofmy life.

Scottie,

You're beginning to get more sensitive and emotional, that's all. Just wait until you go to your first movie with a sad ending ... you'll just go all to bits, trust me. You'll adapt in time, but you're at the point now as to when the ride down on the old testosterone roller coaster gets a bit bumpy - so hold on!

[Andrew (imported)]

When nobody answers a post, when nobody comments or emails or calls I wonder If you all are just busy, or did I say or do something wrong. I hope not. Your support is now apart ofmy life. I come here to learn and to recieve comfort and some understanding too. FYI..... as of now my right testicle is in 2 parts in the sac. The bottom portion that had become pointy and cone shapped

700]
seperated from the rest of the testicle.

I saw the doc and he said not to wory. took a testosterone level too and I am at 10 points now. I had a fit yesterday. My Mistress yelled at me for not doing something and I threw my stuff down and ran to the bedroom where I wept for 15 minutes uncontrollably. Shit! So things are turn
[/quote]
ing, changing, dying ect. Please write me soon. scottie

Please Scottie, take a deep breath and try to relax. We are reading you, we are responding to you. BUT...you seem to have entered a post-surgical depression. This happens to many people who have a major surgery, not just eunuchs who have been recently castrated. Also, without testosterone, you will be subject to what are called "mood swings", which means you will be more prone to tearful episodes and crying jags.

"The eunuch calm" refers to a mind quiet of sex and aggression. But you will probably be more emotional, and this will take some getting used to. You will have to learn some acceptence of your increased emotional feelings, and learn that it is OK.

Yes, I sometimes find myself crying, with or without a reason, but I now accept that this is a new part of me, and it's no big deal. And in between the crying jags I have that deep, calm serenity that Dr. Spector talked about. Sooner or later, you willl get there also, but it may take as much as a year for this calm to develop.

Remember at all times that you have the EA on your side. We are rooting for you. And if you ever want to contact me directly, my E-mail is <[email protected]> and my phone number is 310-533-8945

[Scottie (imported)]

There are 2 sites on the net that I am aware of . I do not even have then anymore. Ferro chemical has the 100 percent and some foreign has the 80 percent. Ill need to look it up for you. go to google search and put in lactic acid and it should show you how. At this moment I woulnd't suggest it. Scottie

[Andrew (imported)]

Shortly after my own castration, when I also entered a short period of post-surgical depression, I received the following e-mail from a friend who had also become a eunuch. Please read it and understand what she is saying.

From: Maryannlee42

To: Harry Andruschak

"As re calcium: I use a calcium supplement called "Bone Complex" from Willner Chemists in New York. (www.willner.com) You can order it over the net. It is totally amazing! I genetically have osteoporosis, and I am using a drug called Fosamax, but was still getting burning sensations in my spine despite using it. The Bone Complex tabs (two tabs once or twice daily depending on your needs) totally knocked that out. It has totally stopped any symptoms. If you want good long-term calcium protection that really works, try it, you'll love it.

Also, a few more things:

Castration does not change our habits, it makes things nice and quiet, so we can have a noise free environment to work on ourselves. I.e. if we are angry before, we will be angry after, unless we work on the source of the anger. The eunuch stillness really makes things nice, and after a while you will not think about sex very much, but will still retain the capacity to become sexually excited about someone you meet that pushes the right buttons.

If you find that you are getting a bit depressed or getting hot flashes, you can get an herb at health food stores called Dong Quai. It really stops the hot flashes and depressions. Also, be easy on yourself. You may get a lot of negative thoughts and regrets about castration, and feel that you look: weird, or freaky, or less than a man, when viewing your genitals in the mirror. This is normal, and it takes about a year to mourn the loss of your old body and accept your new one. We all go through this phase, and it's OK to feel any feelings that come up. The good thing is that after about a year, you will feel so good you will be in orbit!

Jesse Bear

[Scottie (imported)]

I am a very lucky person indeed! to have all of you as friends, and to have your experience and advise too. My T levels where done again Yesterday. I am at a 10 and the doc tells me it's from my brain, not my testicles. My testicles are like rocks and are kinda cold to the touch. The sac is ashen grey. I am still taking androcur and my doc says that it is time to set up an apoint ment to have them removed as they do not function and he KNOWS they are dead. I will try and hold out until December at this point, becasue of my business situation and various large obligations coming up. My doctor here will see me every 2 weeks to make sure my blood count and my general healthis good. If It turns poor then I will not be able to wait. I don't wish to be a pest, but yes I am very emotional and very sensitive. I will keep all of you informened and when I set the date I will celebrate. I am thinking of doing both the sac becasue it has holes in it and is dying too. And the testicles at the same time. Get it all done at once. I care for all of you deeply. I promise to be of service to other Eunuchs and all of you. God bless Scottie