george2u2 (imported) wrote: Thu Oct 31, 2013 11:02 am
Colorado's 6 year old Coy Mathis is making news.
The school board doesn't know what to do.
Headlines are that the individuals involved are having trouble with the rest of the busy bodies.
Where I used to work had one transgender person go into transition (male to female) and it wasn't obvious what kind of chaos might ensue.
Several things were in her favor (as she is a female now, I refer to her as "her"):
a) the head of the entire place supported the transition. Not just her boss but her boss' boss' boss (three management levels above)
b) we had a spare washroom that was not used very often and could be designated as "other" than "male" or "female" for the year. That's important to the transgendered transition but doesn't interfere with the ubiquitous (that's a funny word in these circumstances) males and females that used the other washrooms.
c) when presenting as a female, you refer to the transgendered person as female or she. Same when they present as a male - you use "him"... That solves the most and usually first question.
In the transition year there will be days when the transition is not successful and cringingly so. The uninvolved just need to cope and not offer unsolicited opinions.
d) When asked by kids or by strangers "What's that?" I found that the simple declarative sentence "she's undergoing the transition from male to female" to be the best answer.
When asked "why" I didn't know and said the wonderful three words "I don't know." If pressed on that a second time I would typically answer in polite terms "It's not my business to ask." That usually shut off the questions.
e) The other kids in school simply have to be told the truth -- "that boy wants to be a girl."
I suspect that the school is trying to learn that. It isn't as easy as it seems but then, if a coworker was going through bereavement or cancer treatment in the family or a serious surgery, there would be understanding.
The ont thing I know about transgendered persons are that to the outsider they are terribly confusing and chaotic. Patience is required to deal with that -- and patience is something that costs nothing.