just joined

[geoffrey (imported)]

hi I am geoffrey and just joined this website. I am 22 and have suffered from a paraphilia as long as I can remember and my sex drive has always been a problem for me. I recently have been going to a counciler and he has diagnosed my paraphilia and is recommending that I get my sex drive lowered. I am open to whatever works as long as i still appear male, I just want to get rid of my sex drive so I can concentrate on school and not get in trouble. i am looking to meet or talk with others that have solved this problem and if they are happy with it. it was mentioned I should look into orchectomy because it is most "healthy" way to get rid of sex drive and doesn't put chemicals on your body. anyways, happy I found this site and I hope I can solve my problem soon.

[boingboing (imported)]

Even if you want to avoid chemicals in the long run, it's probably best to start with them to get a sense of how lowering your testosterone levels will affect your mood and so on.

[Riverwind (imported)]

I totally agree, the last option would be castration as that is final for life and your only 22. You could take a castration drug to lower your T but not turn it off completely or take more and lower your T to zero and take castration on a test drive, which we all recommend to everybody.

Your 22, as you get older your T will drop naturally, I know at your age 30 seems a lifetime away but believe me at 67 - 30 was only yesterday. This last comment will make more sense when your 40 which is really not that far away.

Work with your doctor, get some blood work done, get a T count, then talk to him about lowering your T with drugs.

Good luck to you and welcome to the board

River

[jcat (imported)]

Welcome Geoffrey, You will find a warm welcome here and a ton of wisdom and good advice. Not all of which i have listened to over the years and I have made some rather large dangerous mistakes. I have been fortunate, but i could have done myself some serious harm. The best advice I can offer you is take your time and read. Riverwind has already advised a chemical trial, which is reversible. Once your gonads are gone they are gone forever and it is not something to take lightly.

If you are not really up for it the psychological damage of their loss could be worse than your current sex drive.

Welcome and I hope you find what you are looking for.

[geoffrey (imported)]

Welcome Geoffrey, You will find a warm welcome here and a ton of wisdom and good advice. Not all of which i have listened to over the years and I have made some rather large dangerous mistakes. I have been fortunate, but i could have done myself some serious harm. The best advice I can offer you is take your time and read. Riverwind has already advised a chemical trial, which is reversible. Once your gonads are gone they are gone forever and it is not something to take lightly.

If you are not really up for it the psychological damage of their loss could be worse than your current sex drive.

Welcome and I hope you find what you are looking for.

Thanks for your replies. At this point it will all depend on what my insurance can cover. I am not sure it will cover chemical castration, it may cover most of surgical castration, and there is a possibility of some sort of 1 year implant that will shut down my male hormones for a year. this is supposed to be expensive but can be covered by insurance if the doctor says I have a serious condition. So anyways, i am much more interested in staying out of trouble than having a sex life so I think the surgery might be the best way to go for me and seems to be what my counciler is recommending.

[boingboing (imported)]

It's not just about sex. Hormones play all sorts of roles in the body. Some people do just fine after castration. Others sink into deep, dark, suicidal depression. Take things slowly and deliberately. Chemical castration is definitely a good idea, but don't dismiss the potential to address the paraphilia psychologically and otherwise. You are very unlikely to make it go away, but you may well be able to find other ways to deal with it: situations to avoid, strategies to cope with temptations, etc.

[thesmallone (imported)]

Welcome, Geoffrey. Many of us, including myself, have been in that place of frustration and desperation that you describe now.

There is absolutely a psychological component to this type of thing; simply removing the T will not remove all unwanted thinking, actions, etc. Not to say that lowering T levels is not necessary, for many of us it is, but don't expect to suddenly wake up completely free from the problem. I tell myself this every single day, many times a day. Lowered T levels takes the edge off, the unbearable intense physical sensations... the rest is still up to me, through my day to day living and staying mindful of what my true needs are.

[geoffrey (imported)]

Welcome, Geoffrey. Many of us, including myself, have been in that place of frustration and desperation that you describe now.

There is absolutely a psychological component to this type of thing; simply removing the T will not remove all unwanted thinking, actions, etc. Not to say that lowering T levels is not necessary, for many of us it is, but don't expect to suddenly wake up completely free from the problem. I tell myself this every single day, many times a day. Lowered T levels takes the edge off, the unbearable intense physical sensations... the rest is still up to me, through my day to day living and staying mindful of what my true needs are.

Got some good news this morning. Talked to my counciler and he said I have been approved for "gnrh agonist" a shot that will last for three months and shut down my testosterone and sex drive. Hopefully I can get the shot later this week or next week, it is supposed to have the fewest side effects of other kinds of chemical castration. He said if it works well I can keep taking it as long as I need and it basically shuts down the testicles completely.

[daifu-orchid (imported)]

Good news! Sounds like leuprolide, which does just what you say, but takes a week or so to work. Then you'll see what it feels like to be functionally a eunuch. Hope you like it!

I believe that in the long-term leuprolide works out expensive, but maybe insurance or whatever is paying. Anyway it seems a wise way to go to start.

[thesmallone (imported)]

Great. Do keep us updated as to how you feel.

[geoffrey (imported)]

Great. Do keep us updated as to how you feel.

I was happy to hear that my shot was ready today. I just came from the health center and got it. I was kind of embarrased because they had to give a deep muscle shot and I had to pull my underwear down for the nurse. Right now the injection site is pretty sore, I hope it gets better, I might take some aspirin if it keeps up.

They said and from what I hear on this site it takes a week or so to feel any effects. It is just a huge relief to know that things are started and hopefully soon I won't have to deal with a sex drive. I will try and keep this site updated if I feel any changes, right now I feel horny as usual.

[daifu-orchid (imported)]

Excellent news! While it all kinda-news to hear 'bout someone's sore ass, do be sure to keep us posted with how it feels in about a week. Now THAT'S the real news!

I'm sure everyone is Thinking Good Thoughts for you while you wait for it to start. Very best wishes...

[geoffrey (imported)]

Excellent news! While it all kinda-news to hear 'bout someone's sore ass, do be sure to keep us posted with how it feels in about a week. Now THAT'S the real news!

I'm sure everyone is Thinking Good Thoughts for you while you wait for it to start. Very best wishes...

Thanks daifu. It is a weird feeling right now knowing that if this works I will basically be a boy again. I am scared of side effects, but also a little worried I might like this so much I will never want to go back. They say I should stay on this drug for nine months (three shots) and then see how I feel. I do enjoy having orgasms and "being a man" but I cannot take the guilt and problems that go along with my paraphilia. So hopefully in nine months I won't even think about orgasms or miss getting erections, but who knows. Anyways its too late now, my balls should be shut down in a couple weeks.

[daifu-orchid (imported)]

Well, it's a fine start, and hopefully will bring peace soon.

Afraid of liking it too much? For one, I'm a happy old eunuch and wouldn't have it any other way. It's a pretty good life.

Feeling better shouldn't be feared, rather, looked forward to and enjoyed.

We think Good Thoughts for you.....

[geoffrey (imported)]

a quick update: its been several days since my shot now. I had some pain initially from the injection, but that went away slowly. since then I have started to feel a little tired, especially in the morning. just recently my face has started to feel flushed or something, it might be the "hot flashes" I was told to expect. And there is a slight "tingly" feeling in one of my testicles. anyways it feels like something is definitely happening, I don't feel anything different sexually though, things are definitely still working down there.

[Uncle Flo (imported)]

My observation is that physical sexuality changes more slowly than some other signs of Testosterone deprivation. My guess is that the tissues of the reproductive organs either retains some Testosterone for a time or that these tissues respond to hormone stimulation differently than the rest of the body does, perhaps they gain and lose function more slowly. --FLO--

[geoffrey (imported)]

Today is pretty touch, I am getting flushed about every 15 minutes and just feel like sleeping. I have a feeling my balls aren't going to put to sleep without a fight.

[daifu-orchid (imported)]

Hooray for geoff!

Seems he is on his way. Wish him well with the journey. These things take a while.....Hang in there, and keep us posted!

[geoffrey (imported)]

haha i talked to my councilor today and he said I am basically going through "manapause" as my my testosterone production shuts down. he says the hot flashes and flushing should pretty much stop in a few days as my body adjusts. not too much else to report except both my nuts now have a feeling which is hard to describe, not quite painful but they feel kinda like they're being squeezed or something. things down there still seem to be working so I hope things start to kick in soon.

[geoffrey (imported)]

just a quick update, my hot flashes continue to go down and my nuts are definitely now shutting down or something as they have a dull ache like a toothache. I know it will be awhile before my nuts go to sleep and my cock does as well, hopefully my cock will at least get to be more drowsy. I hope to experience what it is like to be a true eunuch and have the sex drive of a very young boy, like none. sometimes i prefer not to wear underwear but I am always afraid of having an embarrasing "accident" but with time I might be able to not worry if everything is asleep down there. anyways still having to relieve myself several times a day, will post an update if that changes.

[Riverwind (imported)]

every person is different, so what happened to me may not be how it works for you as a matter of fact it most likely wont happen that way.

As for hot flashes, the worst one I ever had was about 8 months into chemical castration.

River

[geoffrey (imported)]

Just a quick update. I woke up this sunday without a hard-on. Don't think this has ever happened. And during the whole day I felt calm, I didn't feel that "buzz" of being horny that I normally do. I didn't really think about it at all, until I realized I hadn't masterbated all day, something I normally do once or twice. So I am pretty sure my testicles have stopped making testosterone. So far this feels like a huge relief.

[daifu-orchid (imported)]

Good for you!

I hope the huge relief continues, and you continue to like it.

Wishing you all the best....

[geoffrey (imported)]

Its been a few weeks now since my first shot of lupron. This doctor wasn't kidding when he said that this shuts things down. It took a couple weeks, but I am getting closer to being a chemical eunuch. For about a week I noticed myself getting less horny, and getting weaker erections. About six days ago I didn't wake up with an erection, and didn't get one all day, for the first time I can remember since hitting puberty. The doctor said regular chemical castration with a female birth control can reduce a man's hormones to the level of a boy, but that if lupron works properly it can eliminate almost all of a man's testosterone. I think that's what's happening now, I haven't felt any urge to masterbate for at least five or six days, and I am no longer thinking about sex at all. I tried to watch some porn last night, and turned it off because it wasn't doing anything for me.

So far I think i am enjoying this feeling. It is not all good because the lupron is very strong and I feel a little off, and when a male has hardly any testosterone it makes you feel very different -- its hard to describe but I feel very peaceful and haven't gotten much done on my to do list lately. As far as my cock goes, since I am uncut it just sort of sits there but the skin around it seems to be growing -- it looks like less cock and more skin if that makes sense, like my cock is crawling back into its cave. it used to do this but only if my body was really cold like after a cold bath. My nuts feel slightly smaller and are not hanging as low as they used to -- the bottom of my sack used to look full, but now its all bunched up where my balls used to sit. I am not sure what my cum is like because I haven't jacked off yet, I guess I will try to do that tomorrow or in the next few days if I remember. My councilor is very please with things so far and I will probably get another shot in a couple months when I need it.

[kristoff]

Its been a few weeks now since my first shot of lupron. This doctor wasn't kidding when he said that this shuts things down. It took a couple weeks, but I am getting closer to being a chemical eunuch. For about a week I noticed myself getting less horny, and getting weaker erections. About six days ago I didn't wake up with an erection, and didn't get one all day, for the first time I can remember since hitting puberty. The doctor said regular chemical castration with a female birth control can reduce a man's hormones to the level of a boy, but that if lupron works properly it can eliminate almost all of a man's testosterone. I think that's what's happening now, I haven't felt any urge to masterbate for at least five or six days, and I am no longer thinking about sex at all. I tried to watch some porn last night, and turned it off because it wasn't doing anything for me.

So far I think i am enjoying this feeling. It is not all good because the lupron is very strong and I feel a little off, and when a male has hardly any testosterone it makes you feel very different -- its hard to describe but I feel very peaceful and haven't gotten much done on my to do list lately. As far as my cock goes, since I am uncut it just sort of sits there but the skin around it seems to be growing -- it looks like less cock and more skin if that makes sense, like my cock is crawling back into its cave. it used to do this but only if my body was really cold like after a cold bath. My nuts feel slightly smaller and are not hanging as low as they used to -- the bottom of my sack used to look full, but now its all bunched up where my balls used to sit. I am not sure what my cum is like because I haven't jacked off yet, I guess I will try to do that tomorrow or in the next few days if I remember. My councilor is very please with things so far and I will probably get another shot in a couple months when I need it.

Congratulations on your findings. I hope that they are what you'd wanted. Findings are often different that what is expected. But then sometimes they are great.