feeling frustrated

[oscarjackson (imported)]

Hi,

So I just cant explain how i feel atm, frustrated, devastated, lost, well, that doesn't even come close!! 10 years ago, when i was 18, i started trying to workout why i feel like i do..... I know im gay, but am i trans??? well, no... and it has taken a long time! So about five years ago, i finally realised what i need to be me.. But how do i get there???

I researched as much as i could, and then i found the eunuch archive!! And it was the first time i felt normal, so thanks to every one here.

After talking to doctors, therapist, several emails overseas to dr A, and a few gender clinics with no response, i decided it was time to take things into my own hands. As much as i only wanted to do this the safe way i stared calcium choride injections about 6 months ago after reading every post on the ea.... After starting to think that this wasn't working, i went off to the doc and complained about a lump, even tho i didn't, scans come back showing quite a large mass in each testical. Here i was, thinking yes!!! it will finally happen for me!! Well, i had my first uro appointment 8 weeks ago, and my 2nd 4 days ago.. and the answer i got was "I dont know what has caused this, but no action is required, at your age(28) we dont want to do anything drastic"

So what now?? what do i do??

[Energizer (imported)]

You can try a different doctor for one thing.

Second, if you are determined this is what you want and have tried all other avenues for a solution to be yourself, then you might continue with another injection and report back to either the same doctor, or perhaps a better choice would be a different doctor. If you have a mass on each one, there is obviously something wrong and I think most doctors would suggest removal. I am not recommending this, however.

[Paolo]

If you've got lumps, get a 2nd and even 3rd opinion! Soon!

[oscarjackson (imported)]

My urologist is on the hospital board, and took all my details to a meeting, and he said that everyone was not able to work out what was going on as my blood tests are normal. So i dont really have any 2nd/3rd opinions available in my area as i live in a small city and he has already talked to the other urologist that i would be able to go too.

[Energizer (imported)]

Can you travel to a different city? A larger city where more choices are available would probably be preferred.

[daifu-orchid (imported)]

I guess the doctors would be most careful not to miss cutting out a cancer, and also careful to do no harm. I don't know how often cancer starts in both testicles at the same time, but I would think not so often. Maybe the smalltown docs are playing the odds so as to do no harm. Maybe a different result in a big city?

Still, it would seem odd for both to go bad at the same time? Anyone an expert?

[kristoff]

I guess the doctors would be most careful not to miss cutting out a cancer, and also careful to do no harm. I don't know how often cancer starts in both testicles at the same time, but I would think not so often. Maybe the smalltown docs are playing the odds so as to do no harm. Maybe a different result in a big city?

Still, it would seem odd for both to go bad at the same time? Anyone an expert?

A friend of mine experienced testicular cancer bilaterally. It is a bit unusual, but does happen with some frequency. We had a party to celebrate his new, prosthetic balls.

[YodaNell (imported)]

I agree with energizer. Do some more damage. At some point they'll have to be removed.

[oscarjackson (imported)]

i have another urologist appointment in january with more scans to see if anything is changing.... so i do plan on doing some more injections (not ideal) i want some change but i dont want so much change that it looks like i may have caused it?? also today im going to my GP to ask for a testorone test, hoping if i have low T i may be able to use that as extra reason to remove.

[oscarjackson (imported)]

Today I finally was able to get back to my gp and get my results on my testosterone test... It's now confirmed that I do have low t

[Frida G Cavic (imported)]

Why can´t be so easy as seeing an urologist and say "Well after thinking thorougly and consciously finally I ve decided by myslef without any pressure from anybody that I want to have a bilateral orchiectomy, where I have to signing a consent?" I would like the things were so simple , but the doctors won´t take me serious. They would think I have a mental disease. and even If I pass a single test, and they be sure that I´m not an insane, I never could get a surgical removal. Why´s to be so cumbersome ?

Why when the doctors are realising that its patient is absolutely happier without balls than with It, they drawn to the latter? Yes It´s true that castration may carries risks but, when is well asessed and medically supervised not should be a major problem. In that way doctors would save us so many problems and there would be no need for injecting stuffs in our testes, taking chemicals (like me) and for inventing tales. Unfortunately Things are not so easy

[kristoff]

kill the old girls (CC injections) and present an after the fact need for removal

[micdavi24 (imported)]

Why can´t be so easy as seeing an urologist and say "Well after thinking thorougly and consciously finally I ve decided by myslef without any pressure from anybody that I want to have a bilateral orchiectomy, where I have to signing a consent?" I would like the things were so simple , but the doctors won´t take me serious. They would think I have a mental disease. and even If I pass a single test, and they be sure that I´m not an insane, I never could get a surgical removal. Why´s to be so cumbersome ?

Why when the doctors are realising that its patient is absolutely happier without balls than with It, they drawn to the latter? Yes It´s true that castration may carries risks but, when is well asessed and medically supervised not should be a major problem. In that way doctors would save us so many problems and there would be no need for injecting stuffs in our testes, taking chemicals (like me) and for inventing tales. Unfortunately Things are not so easy

I think the reason is that most urologists are male and to them the thought of losing their testicles is horrific and this is probably why they are hesitant to remove them, especially in a younger person.

[Riverwind (imported)]

The one and only urologist I saw was horrified by the thought of castration, I told him to go to hell and I never saw him again.

What I did was start chemical castration, then went to my doctor and told him what i was doing and why. After a year I went to Kimmel and the job was done.

you might want to try something like that, chemical castration, then prove to your doctor that you like the results, then maybe the two of you will be able to find that urologist that will do the surgery.

River

PS. women have no problem getting there tubes tied or removed. Double standard?

[Frida G Cavic (imported)]

The one and only urologist I saw was horrified by the thought of castration, I told him to go to hell and I never saw him again.

What I did was start chemical castration, then went to my doctor and told him what i was doing and why. After a year I went to Kimmel and the job was done.

you might want to try something like that, chemical castration, then prove to your doctor that you like the results, then maybe the two of you will be able to find that urologist that will do the surgery.

Now that I remember over a year ago I visited two urologists for urinary problems that doesn´t exist by now. I told both I was taking androcur to get rid off high libido. The first said me that I shouldn´t be doing stupidities . The second only questioned for the androcur dosage I had been taking. but he did´nt say any word more about the topic . However this one It semed to me more sympathetic and open-mind. Perhaps He could be a good option for the start.

[oscarjackson (imported)]

so today i returned to my urologist for another follow up appointment. Still the same answer as 12months ago, no change, so no need to do anything! Because my blood tests are fine he won't remove them, but no matter what my blood test will be fine, because the masses are only from injections? i have injected more in the last 12months but the size of the masses haven't changed at all?

Also the ultra sound showed what looks to me like a injection scar, looks like a needle line? the urologist did kinda give me a weird look but didn't say anything? was worried about returning for an appointment after seeing it in the images.

Has anyone else not been successful in getting castrated after injections? Alcohol or cacl?

[Danny1969 (imported)]

I've had similiar issue with urologists, if I remember well, I changed 4 urologists during 5 years, the last one finaly offered me the removal. Change your doc.

[jcat (imported)]

If you inject again you should then go to ER and present the swollen mass and be in agonizing pain, if you present as OK they will not bee so keen to do anything. If they should do surgery , it will take enough time for the CC to be absorbed.CC disperses quickly and disappears into the tissue very fast necrotising as it goes. If you emphasize the pain and discomfort they will be obliged to do something as it is actually affecting your quality of life and then there is a justification for castration.

[nvrgag44 (imported)]

I've posted my story on EA a number of times in various threads so I apologize for the redundancy.

I was able to damage my testicles enough with Everclear to warrant castration and it didn't take that many injections but mine were previously damaged from the effects of radiation for prostate cancer in 2006. My T levels usually ran in the high 200s after the radiation but dropped in to the high 100s range about 2+ years ago. I had other problems over the years as a result of the radiation like rectal bleeding and a blocked urethra. I figured now it was my testicles turn to aggravate me and after reading EA for about the last 3 years I decided I wanted to be castrated. I began injecting the Everclear in the spring of 2015 and got a severe infection. Antibiotics cured the infection so I started injecting again last summer. Another infection and my T dropped to 60. This time my urologist didn't even order an ultrasound and scheduled surgery for 9-3-15. I don't know if he smelled a rat as far as my helping the damage along. He's a young very sharp guy so I suspect he did but he never said anything about it.

The point is: yes, you can do enough damage with only alcohol just as I did. I never used CC but have read it's more effective.

[micdavi24 (imported)]

so today i returned to my urologist for another follow up appointment. Still the same answer as 12months ago, no change, so no need to do anything! Because my blood tests are fine he won't remove them, but no matter what my blood test will be fine, because the masses are only from injections? i have injected more in the last 12months but the size of the masses haven't changed at all?

Also the ultra sound showed what looks to me like a injection scar, looks like a needle line? the urologist did kinda give me a weird look but didn't say anything? was worried about returning for an appointment after seeing it in the images.

Has anyone else not been successful in getting castrated after injections? Alcohol or cacl?

I went the calcium chloride route and was successful. My urologist took one look at my scans and told me they had to go. If you are in Sydney, PM me and I will fill you in as to how to do this and also who my urologist is.

[Majicdan (imported)]

The way I went about it was I complained to my urologist about extreme pain after a vasectomy. After about six months he said that I would have to go to a university hospital and have the nerves cut. When I asked about castration, he would not talk about it.

The next time I went to my primary doctor, I told him what had happened. I told him that I had already had two kids and did not want anymore. Said that I suffered chronic pain ever since a vasectomy. I told him that my testicles had atrophied and I was on HRT.

He said "Why don't you just have them taken off". I told that my urologist refused. I asked him if he could refer me to a surgeon who would remove them. He referred me to a female urologist, who believed my story with my doctors advice, and six weeks late performed the castration.