Regrets about being castrated?

[T van Keel]

Hello,

as you already might know, I strongly think about getting nullified. But I still can't stop thinking about the question if I would regret losing my genitals sooner or later, even though I think of it for many many years.

Maybe my concerns are not necessary, as most or all guys here seem to be really happy about being castrated respectively nullified. Is that really true that there occur no regrets, or if, the only regret is not having had the surgery much earlier?

Or do people who have regrets simply don't tell here about it?

Maybe you can help me through this and tell about your experience regarding this issue.

[hopper44 (imported)]

Not sure how many responses you'll get from this as it seems like most of the people who participate on this site have a pretty eunuch positive attitude. I'll take a stab at it though as I'm already on the record as saying I wish I hadn't totally fried my balls with CaCl and wished I had been able to stop when my libido had been reduced by the CaCl but not eliminated.

I am not on HRT and maybe if I was I would have a different perspective. I'll start by saying I absolutely HATE the hot flashes and night sweats associated with low T. I have always had issues with insomnia and the night sweats make it a lot worse. Then I get the bonus that now when I haven't slept well I get depression which I never dealt with before low T. On those days I just have no energy to do anything and really question my decision to fry my nads.

At this point I should probably be on TRT (I've tried estrogen a few times and I don't think it's the right fit for me). However, I've never wanted to do it partially because I've always blamed T for the bulk of my problems in my life. I'm in therapy right now (which I should have been in prior to starting CaCl), and I'm realizing that T probably was not my primary problem.

I have days when I absolutely love my new status, and others days when I'm really bummed. Today is a day where I'm somewhere in the middle so I feel like I can keep it real.

[aspie_nico (imported)]

I am only chemically castrated with triptorelin (what is similar to surgical castration) but I have absolutely no regrets so far. I would choose surgical castration if I had the choice...

[T van Keel]

Thanks for your answers. Hopper, what you say fits almost 100 percent what my therapist tells me. He draws very dark pictures of being without T. In the beginning I thought it would be necessary for me to be without T, but my mind changed a bit over the time. What I absolutely don't want are negative side effects or feminization, so HRT would be an option for me.

Being without T is not my first goal. The most important thing is a feeling that my genitals need to be removed. This feeling is very constant and grew stronger and more obvious over the past 25 years.

[Losethem (imported)]

Not sure how many responses you'll get from this as it seems like most of the people who participate on this site have a pretty eunuch positive attitude. I'll take a stab at it though as I'm already on the record as saying I wish I hadn't totally fried my balls with CaCl and wished I had been able to stop when my libido had been reduced by the CaCl but not eliminated.

Hopper44,

Your comments are incredibly important and provide good insight into the flip side of where I'm at. I'm incredibly happy I had surgeries that resulted in my complete physical emasculation, in your case "frying your nads" may not have been a good idea. You're being honest, and we need more honest feedback like you've posted.

While yours is not a surgical change, you've had the chemical change. I know of two other people who have at least partial regret to having done this (one a complete nullo, the other a eunuch) and while they have regret, they are incredibly positive people who have taken responsibility for their decision to irreversibly alter their bodies. Other than dealing with the now lifelong issues related to eunuchdom, they are otherwise healthy and happy, they just wish they had their parts back.

I know at least one of those I mentioned above still pops into the archive from time to time, so he can provide his own insights beyond this if he wishes.

I suspect the reason we do not see more of these responses talking about negative experiences is that the men who have done it and have that experience fade from sites like this due to their regret. So thank you for providing your input Hopper44.

--LT

[jcat (imported)]

It is just about a year since I was physically castrated. Like Hopper44 I also started on the injection route. I have no regrets at all.

[micdavi24 (imported)]

I went the CaCl route to get rid of my testicles due to ongoing testicular pain resulting from a vasectomy. I just wanted the things gone and done properly by a medical professional. I achieved the just over 2 years ago. I never intended to go T free and have actually been on T replacement since about 6 months before my castration.

I can honestly say that I don't regret having had them removed at all. I am very happy with the result, but I do believe that there are many who go this route, possibly either through medical necessity or for the fantasy value who will be very unhappy with their results.

While I am very happy with the results, I would caution anyone considering castration to be absolutely certain that this is what they want before proceeding with castration or nullification as once they are gone, they are gone for good..

[ballsrgone (imported)]

For myself there is no regret for being castrated which I love, the only regret I had is that I paid attention to the thinking that I had to be without testosterone to be a eunuch and lived for some time after being pretty miserable. I am only speaking for myself but life without T was horrendous, no energy and I mean none, putting on weight, depression that I never had before which was frightening in its bleakness, then more depression because I was putting on weight, I missed having a sex drive and sex which completely disappeared, and then I realised it wasn't testosterone I didn't want, it was testicles, I take testosterone now and am very happy, I have the body I want and the sex drive has returned as well, So for me there is no regret about being castrated but thinking I had to do it without testosterone. You can be castrated and it doesn't mean you have to be without T, and while others may think you are not a "proper eunuch" because you take T, who cares I dont live my life for other people I dont know, I live it for me and taking T and being castrated works for me, so no regrets about the physical act itself, just what I did after.

[hopper44 (imported)]

I am only speaking for myself but life without T was horrendous, no energy and I mean none, putting on weight, depression that I never had before which was frightening in its bleakness,

That's close to how I've been for the last week. I blame it as much on my insomnia as the low T though. I swear if I could get a good night's sleep I might be grinning ear to ear again about where I'm at. I tried mucuna pruriens (dopamine) this morning and it seems to be helping me out of my funk.

[Frida G Cavic (imported)]

I´, chemicall castrated with cacl2, I know that testosterone is not the cause of the problems s, but eliminating T seems help to make us feel better.

I was HRT on injections of oestrogen and progesterone so I was feeling so good, but I developed a prolactinoma and stopped all hormones

I dont like being with no oestradiol, anxiety, bad sleep gained fat, hot flushes...It´s not too bad , but what I really hate was having lost my feminine shapes, that is what give me most pain,I can bear with the bad sleep overwheigh and others "menopausal sympthoms" but I can´t endure at all having lost my femenine features!

my regrets are not because being chemical castrated but I have not had a HRT medically supervised.

[T van Keel]

Thanks a lot for all your input. Obviously frustration and happiness are quite close together.

I'm doing hard on trying to predict wether I would regret a surgery or not. I simply don't know how to be sure to do the right thing. All I know is that my male parts already caused a lot of discontentment. Every time I hide them away it feels good and somehow right, nevertheless I can't stop asking myself if it would really be right to remove them. I feel wether male nor female, but some kind of neutral. The great mess is I don't make any progress in improving my situation. It's now a process over 25 years, things got rather worse than better, and all I know is that something has to change. In the past two to three years this bad situation already led to depressions. Fortunately, I found back to a quite stable status. Even seeing a therapist during this time was not too helpful.

I don't want any bad or unwanted side effects of castration (without HRT), but on the other hand it somehow feels like castration resp. nullification is the only way for me to lead a content life. At least this is what always breaks through in my mind.

So, what to do?

[Losethem (imported)]

I´, chemicall castrated with cacl2,

Oh dear, I was fearing this day among the injection castration crowd... While I'm happy you've achieved your goal and you feel better freddyde, CaCl is NOT chemical castration. It's instead a caustic agent that causes testicular ablation/destruction.

Chemical Castration is using hormonal agents to reduce testosterone levels in the body. An example of this would be Depo Provera.

I'd fear someone new here mixing up the two as they were taking the "test drive" to see if reduced libido is for them as these methods are not the same. Depo Provera is reversible (within a certain time limit) but CaCl injections are not.

--LT

[Frida G Cavic (imported)]

Oh dear, I was fearing this day among the injection castration crowd... While I'm happy you've achieved your goal and you feel better freddyde, CaCl is NOT chemical castration. It's instead a caustic agent that causes testicular ablation/destruction.

Chemical Castration is using hormonal agents to reduce testosterone levels in the body. An example of this would be Depo Provera.

I'd fear someone new here mixing up the two as they were taking the "test drive" to see if reduced libido is for them as these methods are not the same. Depo Provera is reversible (within a certain time limit) but CaCl injections are not.

--LT

No, I have not reach completely my goal yet, gladly I am a transgender woman, not an eunuch nor a nullo . yes I´m very very happy with the results:) , but I´m still in process to reach my goal, that will take a longer time than simply being surgically castrated or posibly having a SRS ,but I´m on my way.

chemical castration refers to use a chemical agent. in that view may be included cacl2 as a chemical agent, although directly into the testicles. but I did not create the concepts. I´m not wrong simply that is popularly known that chemical castration is using depo-provera, androcur...and that is right of course I do not pretend change the terms.

the important here is remark that cacl2 cause an irreversible necrosis to tissues so like you said, should not be considered as "trial" in any moment in any circumstances.

[daifu-orchid (imported)]

TVK asks what to do? TVK to decide carefully.

I can't answer but having become a happy eunuch from medical necessity, and now very much enjoy being ball-less, mostly no sack, and in control of my HRT. With T, I am much the same as before, apart from the cool feeling and appearance. Without T, I have discovered another rather more likeable self, which also feels good. Effects of no or low T are easily checked by the doc, and while this is most important, it should be said that there seems some evidence that eunuch live longer.

I am not nullified, so I can't give much advice about it. I sometimes wonder why it is that along with others here who are happily without their balls, thoughts frequently now turn to going to the next step to nullo. If I do, it will be after much consideration, consent of my partner, and will be done by the best professionals I can find.

In short, I can't answer for you, but can say that this one eunuch who much enjoys it, with no regrets at all. Get good advice, take care of yourself, decide carefully, and if you need to be ball-less and/or dickless, get the best to do it.

[kkks (imported)]

T van Keel,

I am not an expert here, but from what I read, you seem to want to be a nullo and do not wish to have any symptom of no/low T.

Base on that, having surgery to remove male external genitalia AND continue to receive T supplement might be the way to achieve your goal.

Many castrated guys here wished they had the surgery earlier in their lives. It seems that the surgery helped reaching their goal.

There's a risk in any surgery. And once your genitalia are gone, they are gone. The surgery is irreversible.

[russianboy (imported)]

May be humans, who regret of their castration, don't come this forum.

[smoothie36 (imported)]

I wanted to be castrated for years. I first went to "natural" sort of products that were supposed to work, but did not. Then a real product that did (cyproterone acetate). Added estrogen to replace testosterone (I think I needed some hormones). Didn't want to be on meds forever so had myself surgically castrated. Didn't like empty saggie sack so had it cut off. Never thought about regrets, and you don't want to go there if you can't go back.

[Hash (imported)]

I wanted to be castrated for years. I first went to "natural" sort of products that were supposed to work, but did not. Then a real product that did (cyproterone acetate). Added estrogen to replace testosterone (I think I needed some hormones). Didn't want to be on meds forever so had myself surgically castrated. Didn't like empty saggie sack so had it cut off. Never thought about regrets, and you don't want to go there if you can't go back.

I have no regrets. I had to be castrated and was. I did experience hot flashes and depression, so I had to add back "some" testosterone, which is great. You can control your testosterone levels, they don't control you. I use a low dose regimen which wards off hot flashes and depression and also helps to prevent osteoporosis. I think that my castration was more difficult than my penectomy simply because it took longer to achieve and was somehow more scary. Maybe after being castrated, the penectomy wasn't as scary for me.

[T van Keel]

Get good advice, take care of yourself, decide carefully, and if you need to be ball-less and/or dickless, get the best to do it.

I've done a lot of careful thinking in the past 10+ years, but still there remains a certain bit of uncertanty. I will see an other therapist soon, maybe this will open a new way towards answers, but I'm a litte bit sceptic as this way didn't help me much in the last years.

As you also say, get the best to do it. I totally agree with that. I don't want a non-professional result, for safety and aesthetic reasons.

[daifu-orchid (imported)]

Get the best:

Good advice,

Good time to think,

Good decision,

Good action -maybe done by the best,

Good life, lived to the best.

-The recipe for life with no regrets?

[T van Keel]

-The recipe for life with no regrets?

I don't think so. Life can't be planned.

[Energizer (imported)]

If you have any doubts, it's best not to go forward with this. You should try a temporary chemical castration first and then decide where to go from there.

It's been almost a year since I was castrated and for me it was certainly a good thing and wish I could have been done years earlier. I use a low dose T and feel great.

Good luck.

[tugon (imported)]

I have had no regrets post castration. My only regret is that my body and mind were in opposition prior to castration.

[T van Keel]

You should try a temporary chemical castration first and then decide where to go from there.

I was on antidepressants for over one and a half years. A side effect of them was a noticeably reduced libido, so you might call it a very soft form of chemical castration. This effect felt good, I missed nothing sexual. But I found that the medication made me quite indifferent which was not good at all, so I stopped the med.

[DerKastrierte (imported)]

TvK - nobody will be able to answer how YOU will feel after castration. Every indivdual reacts different. So, if you wanna go for a test chemical castration is an option indeed. You should try at least 6 months - maybe with Androcur - but with no other medication involved. Thereafter you should have at least an idea and the good thing is, it reversible. While taking, take good care of your liver! You will find Androcur threads here.

Good luck!