Long story short. A good friend of mine is a single dad with two young sons ages 4 and 2. We've been friends forever. He told me that now that he has his boys he won't be making any more. He also confided that he feels he would be a better father with his all but insatiable sex drive removed. He's entertaining the idea of nullification.
I asked him how he'd explain it to his boys once they were old enough to ask. He said he'd simply tell them that it was a personal decision some men make and that it's not to be talked about with anyone outside the family. He said he'd also stress that nullification was a decision for grown men and not boys.
I don't know about this. How would any boy react to the knowledge that his father was a voluntary nullo? Can a full eunuch raise boys without sort of messing up their minds?
I see no reason why what he's got between his legs would affect his ability to be a good parent. There seems to be no shortage of fully intact bad parents.
I would question why he wants to go for nullification as a first step to reduce his sex drive. Seems like a bit of a sledgehammer to crack a nut (or nuts!), so to speak. Would he not be better off starting with the less drastic option of chemical castration, and going from there... I'm not suggesting he shouldn't ever become a nullo, if that's what he wants, but maybe take things one step at a time.
I'm with Zebedeee on this one. I think if I were in the situation, even with as much as I wished to get physically emasculated, I'd have probably held onto my genitals until such time I didn't need them for things such as potty training the young penis owners. IE showing them how to use them to relieve themselves, or how to properly clean them. After that, I'd probably have pursued where I am now - complete nullo.
Once they are trained how to properly use a toilet or urinal, there really is no further need for them to see their fathers crotch naked. Sexual questions and the components of, that are sure to come up as they get mature, are easily handled without a show-n-tell, potty training, not so much.
Zebedeee (imported) wrote: Fri Jan 05, 2018 7:49 am
I see no reason why what he's got between his legs would affect his ability to be a good parent. There seems to be no shortage of fully intact bad parents.
I would question why he wants to go for nullification as a first step to reduce his sex drive. Seems like a bit of a sledgehammer to crack a nut (or nuts!), so to speak. Would he not be better off starting with the less drastic option of chemical castration, and going from there... I'm not suggesting he shouldn't ever become a nullo, if that's what he wants, but maybe take things one step at a time.
I agree that he should take things slow, even if he decided to be a Nullo, he doesn't need to discuss it with his son's anyway. What's between your legs should be a personal decision.
I do not see what nullification (however you define that) has to do with anything. I have raised two great kids and taken care of my Dad in his last years and I was able to take care of cleaning by just doing it. Kids pretty much figure it out. Being involved as a parent and role model means 99% just being there and talking out issues while teaching them - often by example - to be reliable, respectful of other people, etc. etc.
The key point seems to be an overactive sex drive. Maybe that has a physical cause, but maybe it has a psychological cause. If the latter, there may be treatments that can help. I am taking online seminars about enneagram types and have noted some things like a lower temper and less melancholy creeps into my life. Maybe one of the more knowledgeable members could comment on if an overactive sexuality can have personality causes and, if so, are there non-surgical things that might help.
How would his children ever know what was between his legs? I mean, it's not really appropriate for a father to be nude in front of minor children at any time for any reason.
But, assume this. A man has two children and a wife that he loves. He is a at work and an industrial accident takes off his genitals. Would he be able to raise his children and be a role model to them?
OK, that was a rhetorical question. Of course he would! I mean why wouldn't he? Unless he told his children what had happened they wouldn't know. His wife would know, and he might be insecure about it, but his children would just be happy when he came home from work.
TopManFL, when I was growing up it was pretty common for everyone to be nude in locker rooms, saunas, etc. Could have been the geographical location too lol.
As to the thread topic, I don't see why it would matter. Even if the children knew, children are super accepting and tolerant people. They pick up hatred and prejudice later in life for the most part.
Tibergrace (imported) wrote: Fri Jan 05, 2018 1:51 pm
TopManFL, when I was growing up it was pretty common for everyone to be nude in locker rooms, saunas, etc. Could have been the geographical location too lol.
As to the thread topic, I don't see why it would matter. Even if the children knew, children are super accepting and tolerant people. They pick up hatred and prejudice later in life for the most part.
Teens are horrible lol.
I agree with Tibergrace children don't care. If they saw him nude they wouldn't take note.
As a man who has spent a lot of time in locker rooms and public showers, some kids do look around and take a lot of notice of teens and grown men s bodies. Most won t say much unless they know and trust the man they talk to or ask. But I ve had boys ask me all kinds of questions about jock straps, cups, why cut and uncut dicks look different, low hanger versus high hanger balls, body hair, shaving, and lots of other things. Kids and teens and young men do use role models more than you d think they do.
High sex drive would be destroyed by castration alone if a man didn t take any artificial testosterone. Removing his penis wouldn t reduce his sex drive at all by itself, with balls or without balls. A simple vasectomy would end his impregnating permanently. If he s afraid he d cheat on his wife or engage in illegal sex acts if he stays intact, chemical or surgical castration with prosthetic artificial testicles implanted and taking low doses of artificial testosterone would leave him looking intact, but allow him to control his own sex drive with T levels.
Young boys and teens learn about circumcision and voluntary vasectomies in grown men without too much shock or fear. They usually learn about their own circumcisions done as infants without much trauma or fear. Lots of pre puberty boys and some grown men have small and high hanging balls that don t show much when they re naked or showering.
But a totally missing penis would definitely be noticed by kids. They d wonder why his penis is gone, even if they didn t ask him why. Most boys would ask their own dad what happened to his penis ?
Most kids do share locker rooms, public showers, pool changing rooms, home bathrooms, hotel rooms, public urinals, go camping, wilderness swims naked, and change clothes with their dads in normal daily life. That s completely normal for dads and sons. Dad hiding behind towels or similar every time would be strange and awkward and likely to fail.
Most sons do want to know how their own dad is hung when they experience puberty and know how his body looks compared to theirs and what to expect they might inherit from their parents by looking at both the males on the mother s side of the family and their dad and his male relatives as they grow. That s very notmal. Kids know kids look like parents and siblings. They know this at very young ages just by looking around at people. They know some kids look very different from their parents and siblings.
I d advise him to let age lower his sex drive naturally if he is a young dad. Age lowers most sex drives gradually. Get a vasectomy if he doesn t want any more kids. Lots of dads get sterilized. Sons won t see anything from or know about a simple vasectomy.
If that doesn t work try libido reducing medications. Chemical castration if he needs more sex drive reduction. Complete chemical castration will reduce his sex drive as much as surgical castration ever would. Removing his penis is beyond reducing his sex drive and unnecessary if he becomes impotent from lack of testosterone by chemical castration.
I d think having no penis on their own dad would probably trouble his kids a lot as they d see all the other dads and grown men have penises. And learn how few men choose to remove their penises. He could wait until his kids are older, teens or adults, before dad gets his own penis removed.
I used etanol injections to be rid of my balls and then 2 years later I went about injecting my penis also with ethanol.
It got very bad and in due time due to numerous problems I requested my doctor to do a radical penectomy which he did agree to do. I spoke to my kds and explained that it was better for me to be without a penis and while they realized it was strange, they did accept it, as it was the best solution for me with the problems that it was giving.
I might add that alot of children where the family are Naturists have already seen every different type of missing equipment that women or men might be missing, and for them it is no big thing.
I have raised 3 boys, they look and take notice and ask questions. All my boys bathed together at home and when young it was hard to keep them out of the bath tub with my wife and I. Being a nullo would just take some frank answering to his boys. He could of course make sure his children never see him naked, people do, but that will have an impact on their social and probably sexual outlook. I also volunteered with my boys youth organisation. Despite there strict rules and regulations to protect youth, inevitably boys and other dads will get a glimpse of you naked. Despite boys being wonderful creatures, they can be very cruel, and I think they might be on the wrong end of that if it became common knowledge that their dad didnt have a dick! My advice would be to get castrated, chemically or surgically, if you need or want to, but leave the nullification till your youngest boy is well into his teens.
Your point about timing seems well taken. Not only will it be easier on all concerned but they will have reached an age where some level of understanding is possible. Children can and are very cruel and about far more than a father missing his genitals. Sure, as you say, if word gets around there will be taunting but, candidly, I'd worry more about the parents of other children and their reaction and, I believe, we could all agree they would have one.
As a boy (9 to 13) I enjoyed nudist recreation although it wasn't something I did on a regular bases. On occasion my dad would take my brother and me to a nudist beach where we'd see lots of other families and lots of other kids naked. But for me it wasn't like the literature you read in clothing optional magazines. I didn't see it as a normal activity but that was all part of the fun.
I loved seeing other boys and girls my age naked and being able to play with them like that was really cool. It had an illicit feel to it like I was doing something most people would find socially unacceptable or even shocking but I was getting away with it and I loved seeing what other boys looked like. Almost all us boys were cir'ed in those days and I was beginning to understand it was a body mod as opposed to the natural state of things. But that just turned me on even more. We were all members of the same club so to speak. We'd all had genital mods and everyone was cool with it. This was California where intact boys were few and far between. I saw them as freaks.
If my dad had been a eunuch however I'd have been mortified. If I'd seen a eunuch my age I'd have been both intrigued and horrified. I'd have wanted to talk with him for sure but at the same time it would have been a bit much for me to get my head around. I wouldn't have wanted a eunuch boy as my best friend lest my dad got any weird ideas about me.
Atreyu69 (imported) wrote: Fri Jan 12, 2018 4:55 pm
Almost all us boys were cir'ed in those days and I was beginning to understand it was a body mod as opposed to the natural state of things. But that just turned me on even more. We were all members of the same club so to speak. We'd all had genital mods and everyone was cool with it. This was California where intact boys were few and far between. I saw them as freaks.
wow! I had somehow similar experiences. Instead, I was the only one around with a bad phimosis first then circumcised later. And I had the feeling that other people saw me as a freak, using your own words. Maybe is for this that I love stories with only one eunuch!
CircItaly (imported) wrote: Sun Jan 14, 2018 6:57 am
wow! I had somehow similar experiences. Instead, I was the only one around with a bad phimosis first then circumcised later. And I had the feeling that other people saw me as a freak, using your own words. Maybe is for this that I love stories with only one eunuch!
Perhaps "freak" is too strong a word. But those of us who were cut (and that was just about everyone) considered our dicks superior to the uncut ones. So, by extension, we thought genital modifications were a good thing. I don't know if this feed my interest in castration or not. It certainly played some factor.
That's a good point. Genital mods, exemplified by circumcision, are obviously sanctioned by parents and state. Easy to see it would make some more accepting of the concept.
I was thinking how among males old enough to hear about it and understand it, castration for prostate cancer is pretty common in older men. Most older men don t talk about it or show other guys their empty sacks or shrunken balls. But teens and men do know what happened and what it means to have uncles, grandfathers, and other males in their town who got castrated for medical reasons. Those eunuchs do serve as role models for all the local males old enough to know what having balls and not having balls means to men.
It makes it less traumatic when males face losing their own balls to grow up with men older than them who are clearly all handling castration as no big deal and not that rare among older men.
Suprizingly, of the many older men I ve known that are castrated, most have not complained or regretted being gelded. The fewer men who do miss their balls are discrete about their complaining and only talk to grown men about regretting their geldings.
You hear both sides from eunuchs and get used to the idea of aging and castration and think about how you d handle it when you turn comes.
Really young boys just see penises as tools to piss and balls as useless. They don t know about sex and its intense pleasures yet. It would be the negative reactions of others and teasing that would be hard on any sons of any age to endure and feel for their father even more than for themselves.
I think members of this forum aren't a very good sample of what is normal honestly since our "relationship" with our genitals is usually out of proportion and pretty much obsessive.
Secondly, I guess it really depends on where you were brought up, but growing up in western US and Canada I can say that I've never really *seen* (I mean taking a sustained observational look at) a naked man ever in my life, especially as a kid. You pretty much have to go out of your way to see someone naked here. I mean I know a bunch of people here have experience naturist and nudist environments but that is really not a common thing. Locker rooms for most people are not for staring. So sure I've been around naked men in locker rooms but never really "looked". I mean I couldn't tell you if anyone in my gym was circumcised or not, cause I'm certainly not going to look closely enough.
I think the only reason most of you guys have looked closely is because you're obsessed with the topic (that's why we're here) plus many members here are all over the gender spectrum.
I guarantee that most American men do not let their kids see them naked, don't use their own penises for demonstrations on how to pee or wash, and that most boys are not in fact that interested in whether the old man who lingers too long in the YMCA shower is circumcised or castrated or anything. I'm pretty sure it is considered pretty darn creepy to be discussing any such topics with kids (even your own) beyond an occasional "birds and bees" conversation. I've never seen my sons penises after they stopped wearing diapers, and my wife wouldn't have seen them after about age 5 or whenever they started bathing on their own.
This discussion reminds of that Friends episode where Joey is talking about how his tailor from childhood would move his penis to the side when measuring his inseam and Chandler and Ross have to explain that that is not in fact normal.
Now I don't mean to criticize or judge. I'm just saying that we're not a typical sample and so wouldn't extrapolate our experiences, interests, and fascination with genitals to the majority of boys/men. I do think that it is much more common in US the way I just described -- nudity, even within the family, is for the most part only something that only occurs in infancy. I know in Europe you can see toddlers or even older running around naked in parks, but in US you won't see that -- by the time you're walking you're not seen naked.
I do think that this sort of "hang up" isn't particularly healthy, so I'm not defending it. However, I also feel that the amount of thought about other people's genitalia that you guys are expressing above isn't really that healthy either. The best would be that being nude is something that is free to happen but isn't at all interesting to anyone either.
I don t think its unhealthy or unnatural to be interested in men s sex organs. After all lots of the men on this site are gay or bi or curious, even if most of us are far more interested in male sex organs than the average man would be.
As a man who has spent countless years living with large groups of men and lots of time in group showers and locker rooms, I can assure you that males of all ages have checked me out naked and stared long and closely at my normal and full set of male sex organs countless times. I never think its inappropriate or strange or wrong at all. All males are naturally curious and competitive and want to know how they compare and measure up. It sure doesn t hurt or affend me to be looked at long or close by males or females. Many females have looked long and close at me naked too, which I think is completely normal and acceptable to do.
I ve also had boys and grown men and teens ask me all kinds of questions in showers and locker rooms when we are naked about jockstraps, nut cups, circumcision, testicles, body hair, shaving, male birth control, and all different masculine concerns and questions. I m not embarrassed at all and always happy to answer questions honestly and without shame or fear of being thought weird or creepy by talking. And yes, I ve used my own body and pointed out other naked guys as examples or demo models to answer questions without getting erect or jacking off or anything that anyone would consider wrong or too much or inappropriate in public.
Lots of young males are only kids with no brothers and often no dads at home to ask or learn anything about sex or normal male bodies or puberty or most perfectly normal male questions and concerns. Who and how are they ever supposed to learn or ask if not other males and grown men ? All males owe it to other males to be unashamed to show their bodies openly and answer questions and worries they can for other males. Maybe being related makes it more uncomfortable to do than with unrelated males. It shouldn t . Unless a man is engaging in sex with or forcing his sexual conversations on his sons, it is not abnormal to want to educate and inform your own sons on being males, sex, how sex organs work, jockstraps, circumcision, birth control and the necessary information that every male needs to be sexual and healthy. That s part of being a good dad or brother, or uncle, or grandfather. Being related doesn t make that a crime or wrong or weird. Before the current child abuse mania became the latest fad and put down, fathers and other male relatives were a normal source of all kinds of male information and learning for eons of time. When books and internet weren t invented to teach younger males about sex and their own bodies. Females sure can t teach them ! Where else did they learn about being men ? From other men.
The idea that sex knowledge or seeing any kind of sex is so damaging to kids is way overblown and isn t natural. Extreme violence and cruelty is far more damaging to kids than loving sex. Not having child sex of course, but no reason to think any sexual knowledge is criminal or weird for kids to get.
Just my opinion and personal experiences. I strongly believe treating sex and the human body as dirty, evil, wrong, criminal, embarrassing, or something to be ashamed of is very wrong and damaging to people.
It makes me feel so bad for any kids or adults who make fools of themselves in showers or locker rooms trying to hide their bodies from members of their own sex as if they are so fearful and deeply ashamed of their own bodies and sex organs ! That is so terrible and wrong to teach or instill in anyone ! Any culture that so alienates kids, teens, or adults from their own bodies and gender and sex organs should be hugely ashamed and trying to change. Its so pointlessly oppressive and cruel ! No one benefits from it. People need knowledge and pride, not oppression.
Thanks cutnbulls I couldn't agree more! I grew up one of 6 kids (4 boys and two girls on a ranch) how sex worked and the results were very open and normal.We worked outside all the time male and female and everyone had to do their duties whether standing or squatting. It was very open about and normal about such stuff. We always laughed about our moms story about her sisters and their little brother. She was one of ten kids ( one boy eight girls and a boy) my grandmother changed the dials and bathed them together then the youngest a boy she always did separately and private then when he got to be a toddler some of the girls including my mom took him out behind the barn and stripped off his diaper to see what was the difference. We raised our children open as both of us were and I believe our kids and grandkids are well adjusted. There are natural limits for us like after a couple of years old the boys and girls don't bathe or sleep together and learn other boundaries. My children know I have no balls and see me occasionally and it is nothing I have asked my son how he feels about it and he says it is more noticeable if I have my PA in than if I have balls or not. In the locker room if you just throw your towel over your shoulder and act normal no one pays attention if you try to be secretive people will check it out! My folks and we have taken the approach that it is better to be taught facts and educational at home than learn misinformation from elsewhere all within age appropriate boundaries. In larger families it has been normal for older children to help with the younger kids including diapers I was changing my oldest niece's diapers etc when I was 6 because she lived with us.
Thanks sparkey49, As kids on a ranch we learned about sex at early ages. We were taught to be quiet and not harrass or startle or make loud noises when livestock were having sex. We d be working and a male animal would mount and start fucking a female. We d stay quiet and hold off on work until he finished ejaculation, which can last a while in some animals, just watching and talking as he shot his load. Then we d go back to work again like its nothing to us. We knew that was the only way to breed more animals. No one was shocked or embarrassed by it. The town kids were suprised at first but just followed our lead and got used to it.
Just recently I was talking with a group of teen boys and we heard some low growling. We all looked over and four feet from us a tomcat was growling as he bred a cat at our feet. We didn t even notice them come over and mount up until he started growling. I told the boys, you ll all be doing that soon enough to have your own kids. We chuckled and just kept talking as the cats finished breeding at our feet. It was no big deal. No one thought it was weird or embarrassing that the cats chose to mate right by us or letting them finish up as we talked on.
As a coach and Phy Ed teacher I tried to set a good example in how men should act for my male students. I d shower with them in the main showers instead of using the private office shower and sometimes I d shower and shave on mornings I was running late. Other coaches and teachers would talk to me naked and I never hid behind a towel or acted ashamed or embarrassed in front of my students or my fellow adults. It was tough enough to get the guys to change and shower together and unteach all the senseless shame, embarrassment, and fear of being naked that parents had brainwashed into their sons. Shame that had to be unlearned to get them comfortable in using locker rooms and showers as teens and ready for sports teams and living in groups for college and military life as men soon.
If you saw the needless suffering kids go through just getting naked, you d never teach shame or hide nudity ever again. It s so sad to see kids so ashamed of their own bodies for no reason.
As kids growing up we d all piss outside thinking nothing of it. I always greatly appreciated older teens and grown men not hiding their bodies outside working or in showers and locker rooms from us boys. We all wanted to know how we might look when we grew up and compared how different dads had different bodies and all sizes of sex organs and bodies that looked so different than our little boy organs. Older guys all taught us about sex and we d compare and talk about puberty and sex and knew the teens who got girlfriends pregnant and had to leave school and quit sports to work and suffer shotgun marriages to support their babies. All of us dreaded that fate. We knew how to impregnate and how to avoid it at young ages. We all needed to know that to stay out of trouble.
