Coming Out

[Qunuch81 (imported)]

I just had a drink with a straight, male friend who I'd been considering coming out to as a eunuch/wannabe nullo. I managed to muster up the courage to tell him I'd been castrated voluntarily. It was great; he was very receptive. I wasn't sure if I was going to tell him that I want to take the next step, but he asked me if I was planning to do anything else, which I REALLY appreciated since it showed he was legitimately interested and supportive. Unsurprisingly, he found penectomy a bit harder to process on a purely logistical level, but he really understood the impulse to modify your body to better reflect who you are and how you want to appear. I'm just so happy to have shared this with someone outside the community, I needed a place to cheer.

[Hash (imported)]

I think more men have thought about castration and penectomy then we could ever imagine. Yes, most would probably not take the step that you and I have, but they've thought about it, even though it might have been brief or they quickly put it out of their minds.

[cutnbulls2ox (imported)]

My experience has been most staight men can t handle even learning a buddy is gay, much less that he is a eunuch or nullo by choice.

Even though most men are curious or even turned on ( to their own surprise and confusion ) by castration, they fear it. Losing their penis is like losing their face to lots of men, since it is such a huge part of their own masculine self image.

Most men can handle the idea of some other man needing a medically necessary castration or losing his balls or penis to disease or injury. That cannot be helped or avoided. So there is no choice to do it voluntarily.

It is a man eagerly choosing to lose his own dick or balls that freaks most men out.

[Jan_Linde (imported)]

When I told my boyfriend just over a year ago that I had a long standing desire for nullification and would happily have had my nuts and cock taken off at puberty he was not fazed by it at all. Although he wouldn't want penectomy for himself and thought his potential de-balling unlikely but not impossible in the future he could understand the desire to be cut and see the advantages. He also said he thought a eunuch or nullo with a good body would be incredibly hot. In the event he helped me with stage one of my emasculation, I am very glad to be castrated and he finds physical relations with a nutless guy highly erotic. All my close friends know that I'm a eunuch and I've not had any negative reactions, the general consensus is that modifying your body to reflect how you feel on the inside is a perfectly valid thing to do. For me that's means getting nullified smooth. I expect some consternation from some people but I intend to be open about it in private.

Jan

[justine77 (imported)]

I never had any problem or worries about revealing myself to be a eunuch. I was a bit nervous about it at first but once I'd adjusted to having been cut and particularly after I had the empty scrotum removed I was perfectly OK about being castrated and didn't mind if other people knew and in some cases let people see. I think a few were a bit surprised but I can't say I got any negative reactions. Being a young androgyne and sometimes dressing as a girl was quite different though, I got a lot of verbal abuse and some physical abuse for that.

Justine x

[Cseriess (imported)]

I am sad anyone head to face any for being themselves.

[Cseriess (imported)]

And I am also sad I didn't check the auto correct! I am sad anyone has to face any form of abuse for being themselves.

[Brycenosak (imported)]

As soon as I knew my surgery date, 16 years ago, I told my close friends and family. My outward presentation hasnt changed and I sometimes wonder how many of my friends even remember? On having the prosthetics removed, I guess I have been, visually at least, castrated twice? Its only since removing my scrotum that I feel really comfortable with being a eunuch. Its unmistakable that I have no balls, even at the most casual glance. The sensation of 'nothing there' is a continual reminder that I am happy with. Being told by a male and a female that I look 'hot', only serves to reinforce the joy of accepting yourself. Not that I will shout it to the world. I think I mean coming out to yourself, is a good start. I love that I am who I am.

[GruntFLA (imported)]

It took me over a decade just to come out to myself. It's been a long process just accepting that becoming a eunuch is what I want and need. I can't imagine coming out to friends or family.

[cutnbulls2ox (imported)]

The lucky people do have close, genuine friends who accept all of their many facets.

But more often a lot of people will pretend to your face, but act very different when you are not there to see their attitudes and how they act with other people. Just saying, be very careful of who you trust with anything that is important to you. Choose carefully. Information is power. Be wise in who you giive that power to.

[Brycenosak (imported)]

Tis true cutnbulls2ox. When I know that it very likely that I am the only eunuch in the room and its very likely that I am the only person who knows it. I have good friends that I will probably never tell and its unlikely the subject would ever come up. There is perceived knowledge, what people think they know. My Dad sees a eunuch as a castrated human male. My Mum, when asked sees a eunuch as the classic, tall, well built, long haired palace guard. I reminded her about pre puberty castration creates the stature etc.She sees me as her son, who has no testicles. I remember my friend casually made reference to my my being nutless in conversation. My other friend, who wasnt privy to my status, giggled like a little girl, then fell silent. The subject has never come up again with him. Yet I have no problem with Steve mentioning it. He picked me up from the surgery, I remarked, ' good weight loss diet dude, came out of hospital 'two stone lighter'. it is the old labels topic.

[cutnbulls2ox (imported)]

Tis true cutnbulls2ox. When I know that it very likely that I am the only eunuch in the room and its very likely that I am the only person who knows it. I have good friends that I will probably never tell and its unlikely the subject would ever come up. There is perceived knowledge, what people think they know. My Dad sees a eunuch as a castrated human male. My Mum, when asked sees a eunuch as the classic, tall, well built, long haired palace guard. I reminded her about pre puberty castration creates the stature etc.She sees me as her son, who has no testicles. I remember my friend casually made reference to my my being nutless in conversation. My other friend, who wasnt privy to my status, giggled like a little girl, then fell silent. The subject has never come up again with him. Yet I have no problem with Steve mentioning it. He picked me up from the surgery, I remarked, ' good weight loss diet dude, came out of hospital 'two stone lighter'. it is the old labels topic.

I read somewhere that your country, has among the highest percentage of men getting vasectomies in the world. That s a lot of men voluntarily getting part of the way to being castrated since the long term affects of vasectomy in a percentage of men does lead to malfunctioning and non functioning testicles. I ve read figures of up to 5 or more percent of all men getting vasectomies having major testicle problems. That s one in every 20 men with vasectomies. So, I m betting, in your country, any room full of men over the age of 30 is likely to have one gelded man in every 20 men, and more than that among older men.

That man giggling and then silent about you being nutless probably indicates a man who is sexually excited by you being a eunuch and so he s embarrassed to say what he is thinking.

I ve gotta say, I really admire your attitude and how well you ve handled your own castration so well. You popping a huge and pre cum drooling erection as they wheeled you into surgery to castrate you is awesome and handling your unwanted and medically required castration like a real champ ! You must have impressed and confused the hell out of the whole surgical team ! They must have been very surprised and envious of any man who could even accomplish having a major erection as he is taken to be deballed. Seriously, how many men could be that virile as they get neutered ? Lol. Every male has to admire and envy you on that wild ability ,!,

Its great to see such a horny and sex loving masculine man that your posts reveal you to be, handling castration like you have done. I m betting the man who giggled like a girl and was silent was surprised that an extra horny and masculine man like you was actually a gelded eunuch. He probably got off on that a lot and had so many things flashing through his brain in processing and imagining you nutless that he was too busy getting off on you being a steer to think of anything to say !

Man, that big throbbing erection you sported as you were wheeled into surgery, half drugged up, is so awesome. That would really impress and spring a hard on in many men and get lots of women excited too.

[Brycenosak (imported)]

You are right, lots of vasectomies are done here. We are backward in addressing what to do if something goes wrong. I did alot of research on post vasectomy pain disorders. One of my friends even went to john hopkins hosp in the us to have nerve albation surgery to save his testicle. Our doctors are pretty much ' walk it off, take an asprin, its in your head, its spinal, itl come right?' As I am fairly stubborn, I wouldnt accept it could take a year for a vasectomy to settle. I suspect there are men out there living with significant pain and nothing can or will be done about it. And its not talked about! In 4 years I endured various medication trials and a vasectomy revisal, vasal ties removed and vas cauterised, spinal nerve block, bilateral epididymectomy (pure evil), ketamine infusion,laproscopic denervation and finally castration. As I am deemed 'one in a thousand' the govt accident compensation corp picks up the funding. the claim still exists. Yeah man, the pre op erection was a surreal and unexpected experience for all involved. Like the last chance!! I really appreciate having articulate and intelligent people to share my experience with. You can be assured it is done with honesty and integrity Cheers! B

[Begoneboy (imported)]

Wow! Once again you hit it out of the park. Never give that power away. It WILL be abused which will be far more costly than one should ever want to endure.

The whole concept of coming out seems odd to me. I personally just let life happen after becoming nullo. I am accepted for who I am as most folks never knew who I was.

[gandalf (imported)]

When I had mine removed 13 years ago, I had nothing but support from family and friends including two 16 year olds. The only difficulties I had were with my son and one relative. My son didn't understand why, but accepted it. A family member(married in) did not question the removal after i explained the possibility of cancer in my nuts, he didn't say much more. His only comment was "Even if I had cancer in my testicles, I would not want them removed". Of course, I would rather lose them than my life to cancer.

[Nidaho Rachel (imported)]

Wouldn't take take me a half of a second to decide to loose my nuts if there was a risk of cancer, but I would dwell of it some to look good for the doctor.

[cutnbulls2ox (imported)]

When I had mine removed 13 years ago, I had nothing but support from family and friends including two 16 year olds. The only difficulties I had were with my son and one relative. My son didn't understand why, but accepted it. A family member(married in) did not question the removal after i explained the possibility of cancer in my nuts, he didn't say much more. His only comment was "Even if I had cancer in my testicles, I would not want them removed". Of course, I would rather lose them than my life to cancer.

Sounds like the people who say they d rather be dead than to lose an arm or leg. Once it happens, they beg to live and adjust to it far better than they ever thought they would.

Its really tough to anticipate how any one person will handle something way out of the ordinary. You have nothing similar to see them react to as a guide to how they will handle your coming out.

I ve known people who will pretend to accept gay men to that man s face, and pretend to be fully accepting of gays, who will say the worst things about gays when only people they think are straight are there to hear it. Those people, males and females, usually don t understand being a butch masculine gay man, and they think all masculine men must be straight. That s when you hear what they actually think and feel about homosexuality, when they think you are straight.

[GruntFLA (imported)]

BINGO cutnbulls2ox. I'm very masculine and people that don't know me assume I'm straight, so I have plenty of experience with what you describe.

[cutnbulls2ox (imported)]

BINGO cutnbulls2ox. I'm very masculine and people that don't know me assume I'm straight, so I have plenty of experience with what you describe.

Yes, and most rural people think gays only live far away in big cities. They don t think any of " their " local men can ever be gay unless they are flamboyantly feminine. So, in both big cities and in rural places, extra masculine gay men hear what people really think of gay and trans people as one of the straight people. Confronting or arguing or fighting with these people isn t going to change their minds or force them to accept gay or trans people. They d just add me and anyone else who shames or argues with them to their hate list. You can t force people to change to suit your desires. They have to want to change or they won t change.

[cutnbulls2ox (imported)]

People can really surprise you unexpectantly.

One of my best buddies that I worked with every day for years really surprised me. He was a U.S.Marine Corps jag officer and a great friend. But when I asked him about prosecuting Marines merely for being gay, he showed me a side of him that shocked me. This was back when don t ask, don t tell was in effect for all branches of the U.S. military. He said he had no problem with men being gay. But, he said lying on your enlisting documents was unforgivable and needs to be prosecuted and the Marine should be court marshaled and then dishonorably discharged for lying on his enlistment documents.

I was floored that my close buddy felt this way ! He admitted it made no difference in a Marine s ability to do his job or perform in battle. He claimed he had nothing against gay men serving in the military except that they lied when directly asked in recruiting and enlistment documents if they were gay or not ? I asked if he d prosecute me if I was gay ? He said absolutely, it would be his duty to prosecute and dishonorably discharge me if I had lied. He was dead serious. He couldn t be persuaded that any gay man had no choice but to lie to even get into the military under those senseless rules. He wouldn t let go of lying as his excuse to carry out a horrible and senseless policy. He added that if a man was gay, not acting on it would leave no evidence to court marshal him with. But he admitted that still left the lie unaddressed that he used as his sole reasoning, along with following his orders and enforcing all of the millitary rules he swore to uphold, to prosecute Marines in his own mind. He ducked that by saying unless the Marine, himself,admitted to being gay, no evidence would exist to prosecute him if he was gay but never acted on it.

I d never have expected he would even think this way. Most Marines knew and expected to have lots of gay men in the military and ignored it unless a man was causing tons of problems flagrantly about being gay. Lesbian women in the military were far more tolerated than gay men were. Gay men were far more likely to be prosecuted and dishonorably discharged for being gay than females who were gay. Totally unfair, but that is how it was.

He said almost all the Marines being prosecuted were turned in by their gay lovers as revenge after fights or break ups. So much for trusting lovers huh ?

[Qunuch81 (imported)]

The idea that it's okay for a guy to be gay in the military as long as he "doesn't act on it" is just as bad as saying there shouldn't be gays in the military. Actually, in some ways it's worse because the gay guy feels like he's supposed to be grateful that the mere fact of his sexuality is being tolerated, so any hurt or anger he may feel about his behavior being unduly policed ends up seeming selfish or unreasonable to him. This becomes yet another reason for gay men to feel shame. It's the Catholic approach to homosexuality, and it's damn poisonous.

[cutnbulls2ox (imported)]

I agree completely. Every man should be able to enjoy his sexuality freely and equally. Now the U.S. military does allow openly gay service members, back then it didn t.

In my friend s case, saying you cannot lie about your sexuality but if you told the truth you should be prosecuted and kicked out made no sense. If asked, which all of us were openly asked as part of enlisting, you are supposed to always tell the truth ? And then get rejected by the military or later get dishonorably discharged for telling the truth whenever asked in the future, even if you never had any sex with another man.

Just telling the truth about being gay was enough to get prosecuted and kicked out. No sexual activity was required to get kicked out. No evidence was required to get kicked out. Just admitting you were gay was enough to get banned from entering the military or dishonorablly discharged if you were already in the military back then. So, my friend s excuses went in an endless circle with no option for any gay man except to lie or get kicked out. He never could get past that pointless circle of lie or get kicked out. He just said, rules are rules, orders are orders. His way to avoid any moral responsibility for prosecuting men solely for what they are, even if they never had any gay sex at all.

My point in this true life story is to be very careful who you come out to. Your best friend might have some convoluted reasoning that you d never expect, that would cause him to turn on you if you come out to them. Obviously, I never did come out to that close friend or he d have busted my ass for it and sent the NCIS after me. Be careful who you give any power over yourself to, they might surprise and disappoint you more than you can imagine. You can t anticipate what ideas and reasoning even your best friends might suddenly surprise you with.

[cutnbulls2ox (imported)]

Technically, some religions are so backward that any sex at all that is not possibly creating a baby is sin ! So unless conception might occur, they think sex for any reason except baby making is sinful, straight, bi, or gay sex.

[Rafaella (imported)]

Compared to a year ago when I was cut I'm completely comfortable about my castration and have no problem coming out to people about it, in some cases I'd even say I flaunt it. Back Nov 2017 it was a different story. The day after I'd been nutted I told my then girlfriend about it, what followed was pretty excrutiating, she told me she saw no future in dating a guy with no baby makers and doubted I'd be able to get it up anyway. Another date went wrong when she got me hard but when she found my empty scrotum, it was OMG I can't make out with a eunuch. It was hard to take back then and I kept quiet about my sexual status for months afterwards. Later when I met a woman who appreciates and admires eunuchs I stopped being uptight about it. Nowadays I have no problem with my castration, I don't mind if someone wants to ask about it or in some cases take a look. About a month ago in the gym showers I saw a guy trying to take a look without being obvious. I told him he could check me intimately if he wanted to, he lifted my cock and felt the area where my balls and sac used to be. He told me my nutless crotch was incredibly hot. I feel good that I could turn someone on like that, I responded by giving his testicles a gentle squeeze and suggesting he may want to consider it for himself one day. At this point he was rock hard and leaking pre cum. Unfortunately a load of guys arrived in the locker room so he covered up, I didn't though and rarely do. I guess what I'm trying to say is that in my experience if you are happy with your castration or at least adjusted it's a lot easier to come out about it.

[Brycenosak (imported)]

Was the same for me, Rafaella. I felt for the last 15 or so years, post castration, that I was a mutilated and therefore undesirable and unattractive male. Irreversibly damaged. Was not until I found the EA and joined in that I began to feel that I am ok to look at. I now like my look. Its a big turn to be told that I'm hot! Being proud of who you are is very empowering