Big problem after castration, please help!

[AndreaB19 (imported)]

Hi everyone,

I'm new, I write from Europe and unfortunately I'm in trouble after castration...not physically, because the lack of libido is just good, but for a practical and very important matter related to my future profession, so my life itself is at issue.

In a few words:

I have reached bilateral orchiectomy as conclusion of a very fast MtF transition path, and after that I found out that all I wanted was just not an actual transition to female, but simply to not have libido anymore. That's why I won't go on with transition for sure.

At the same time I found out that, to be able to do the activity that I want with all my heart, a transgender path would be absolutely NOT compatible.

This is a tremendously serious problem because that is the activity that I just NEED to do in the future, and the only thing I'd be able to do to be happy...but how can I justify the castration?

Because I will sure have to justify it.

Anyone has any idea about what to say, or what excuse to provide, literally any way out of this nightmare..?

You would save my life.

I hope in your help because I'm in the darkest desperation,

thanks in advance to anyone who'll try to help!

Andrea

[ambiguous (imported)]

Have you considered mixing things up a bit so fare as hormone therapy goes.

I had a bit of success doing a 50 50 split with testosterone cypionate and Nandrolone a while back.

Doing this will preserve muscle tone and bone density but Nandrolone is missing the bit with the androgenic properties in it.

This is why it is a popular steroid for female athletes.

More info here https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4837307/

I went a bit further later on and was toking 80pc Nandrolone and found it did reduce my libido a lot as well as erections.

[Mysweater (imported)]

It seems like you don't really have much a problem, I think that you just need to frame it in your mind differently.

So you've found out you're not trans and a libidoless state is ultimately what you wanted and needed. Well you've achieved it!

What else in terms of MtF transition have you done? You can simply just go about your life living as a male presenting eunuch if you wish. As evidenced from the many eunuchs here you can have a normal male life without testicles. Unless having balls is absolutely required for the path in life you wanted to take I think you could just de-transition and go about your days as a eunuch with no libido. You've incidentally found what you needed in your life and you have no requirement to do any more.

If there's some other details that you're willing to share that could help us understand the problem more that would be good too. I hope my bit of advice helped for what it's worth.

[JessicaH (imported)]

Are you saying that you will have to justify your castration to someone in the future so that you can do what you want to do? Is this a situation where they will know that you WANTED to be castrated? If they don't have access to your medical records, you can say it was an accident or that you were assaulted, or you had constant pain/orchitis, etc.

It's hard to really answer your question since you leave out so many details.

[Varys2013 (imported)]

So, I'm not clear. Have you been castrated yet? If not, and you've realized all you really want is no libido, that can be done other ways. The drug "Paxil" can be used for that, from what I've heard. In your country there may be other things available. But castration isn't the only way to accomplish that. Just a thought.

[AndreaB19 (imported)]

Thank You all!

Yes, I have been castrated already and yes, that has caused good effects in my body (not in my mind unfortunately), but the libidoless state is absolutely great. On the other hand anxiety and depression are not so nice.

But,

the main problem is that I was and am worried, that if my condition will be discovered somehow in the future (I don't know how but it could easily happen), for the role I will have that will require an explanation. And this explanation, for reasons that would be too long to explain, could NOT be an MtF transition.

So I was wondering what to present as excuse...You suggested some clever ideas, but what if they asked for a proof..?

For example:

- it was an assault, or an incident, or cancer...ok, but how could I prove it?

I thought: I could say that the surgery happened too long ago, so there is no medical records anymore...

Could it be plausible..?

Or: it was an accident when I was a kid and my father didn't want it to be officially recorded for privacy reasons...what about this?

Any other idea would be welcome..thanks again to everyone!

[TopManFL (imported)]

Hey Andrea,

First, welcome.

Also, why do you need to justify your castration? Men who have trauma to their testicles, bilateral testicular cancer, undescended testicles or bilateral torqued testicles require that their testicles be removed surgically.

I assume your "need" to explain your missing balls means you'll be having a physical soon - perhaps a pre-employment physical. Assuming you don't have to provide the medical records (and most times you don't) telling them you were castrated as a result of a sports trauma should satisfy the person doing the exam.

[GordonGG (imported)]

Reading this thread, the first thing that comes to mind is; "Why is it anyone's business?" Unless there is something wrong with you physically that a doctor needs to know. In the case of an intimate partner, you can make up anything you want. If that intimate partner turns out to be someone that you're going to marry or have a long time Significant Other relationship with, then honesty is probably the best answer.

[Cseriess (imported)]

What profession is it you are pursuing that an orchiectomy will exclude you from?

[notsomanly (imported)]

I'd recommend going to see a doctor you trust and just lay out your situation. If you're emphatic enough about not wanting a sex drive for emotional reasons, then it becomes a matter of how to manage your long-term health. That probably means finding an endocrinologist who will work with you. For me, the combination of estradiol and progesterone is perfect and you can probably do fine on fairly low doses that can prevent osteoporosis and keep you mentally alert without restoring your libido. In my experience doctors do want to help you maintain your health. If you run into one who insists on T replacement, just go to someone else. These days people who feel tormented by being born into a body of the wrong sex or just want to become agender are finding support from people in the medical community.

[catoboros (imported)]

I found it useful to understand my eunuch identity as a nonbinary transgender identity. It is common for trans people to partially detransition and end up happiest on some nonbinary identity.

Check out the Genderbread Person v4.0 Poster, which has independent axes for male/female and for masculine/feminine, so instead of reducing male/masculine and increasing female/feminine to become a woman, you just reduced your male/masculine:

https://www.genderbread.org/resource/ge ... 4-0-poster

To medical providers, I just say, "I have a nonbinary gender identity". This places me under the now well-accepted transgender umbrella. Gender services are now available for nonbinary transgender people ("enbies"). You may be asked for your preferred pronouns, for example "he/him" (the most easily offended enbies use "they/them"). If you still present masculine, you can keep on doing so and nobody will know. You can identify as a eunuch or not. You do not have to disclose your gender identity to anyone. I would tell medical providers the truth because they need to know the details to give me the best healthcare. You might try: "I have a nonbinary gender identity. I have had a bilateral orchidectomy."

As far as I know, the only jobs that you cannot perform after castration are professional sperm donor and Pope. Are you in a country that discriminates against castrated men?

[AndreaB19 (imported)]

I want to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart; every single advice was precious.

[TopManFL (imported)]

Hey @AndreaB19,

One further reason for castration could be trauma caused by a "bell clapper deformity".

Most men notice early in life that each testicle stays on its side of the scrotum. It's not possible to move a testicle over to the other side because of the way the testicle is attached. This prevents the chords from getting tangled and strangeling one or both testicles with a loss of blood flow.

This congenital abnormality is present in approximately 12% of males and is bilateral in 40% of cases. The bell clapper deformity allows the testicle to twist spontaneously on the spermatic cord

Full page on Medscape: https://www.medscape.com/answers/203600 ... ar-torsion

With the testicles missing it would be impossible to prove that it wasn't bilateral bell clapper deformity that caused them to be removed.

As for your depression, talk to your doctor about a low dose of testosterone. As long as you don't tell the doctor that you plan to hurt yourself or someone else in the future, they can't break confidentiality. You can walk into a doctor's office and tell them you killed someone a year ago and they can't tell on you but, if you tell them you plan on killing someone in the future, they are legally required to tell.

There are a few exceptions to that rule and one of them is that all gunshot wounds are reportable and so are some sexually transmittable diseases.

[AndreaB19 (imported)]

Thanks..!

So low testosterone can cause depression..? But I wouldn't want to take testosterone, since I don't want libido...so I must choose "Libido or Depression"..?

[fhunter]

Thanks..!

So low testosterone can cause depression..? But I wouldn't want to take testosterone, since I don't want libido...so I must choose "Libido or Depression"..?

There is also possibility of taking low level testosterone or estrogen - not enough to increase libido, but enough to prevent bone problems and possibly depression.

Also - some people here mentioned progesterone, for energy/etc ?

PS. I will always read the whole thread before posting.

[fhunter]

As for your depression, talk to your doctor about a low dose of testosterone. As long as you don't tell the doctor that you plan to hurt yourself or someone else in the future, they can't break confidentiality. You can walk into a doctor's office and tell them you killed someone a year ago and they can't tell on you but, if you tell them you plan on killing someone in the future, they are legally required to tell.

Are you sure it works internationally? I know that it should be true for USA, but for other parts of the world?

[Mister-T (imported)]

I know your having second thoughts on transition and your certainly didn't have your orchie to then go on testosterone but I would give serious consideration to trying Estrogen. Give it a shot for a month and see how you feel. You can still present yourself or ID yourself as male but Estrogen without normal female levels of Testosterone will leave you with a near zero sex drive. *Assuming thats the goal your seeking.

The benefits of Estrogen (In my experience) it clears up mental fog. Helps with depression. You get some energy back and mood improves along with some benifits like increased emotional range. Colors seem brighter and weird I know you probably get a better sense of smell and you won't have to worry about bone issues.

[kastranja (imported)]

Taking estrogen to remedy the side effects of removing testicular testosterone production is a possibility. Availability depends very much on the medical system you are in. You did say Europe, but not which country. The German system e.g. has no regulations/provisions for cases of "transness" outside the binary (i.e. only knows trans women and trans men, or transsexuality in the classical sense, as the ICD-10 still provides). There are doctors who know about non-binary identities, or are willing to get educated. With a condition of "missing testicles" you can easily get a prescription for testosterone, but it is very difficult to get estrogens.

And, of course, taking estrogen has (individual) side effects, for example possible breast growth (depending on dosage and individual conditions).