Sexuality as part of identity.

[erikboy (imported)]

I was reading another article about loosing libido, and loosing libido was described there as loosing part of person identity. I was little surprised, how an essential desire, which is designed to produce offspring, can be part of identity?

It is same like calling feel of hunger part of identity. Or need to pee, part of identity. All these desires and needs are essential for all mammals in order to keep them alive as a living being and a species.

If I tgink more about that I have often seen such people who think that their physiological urges are part of their will and identity.

For me it sounds strange, as I never felt like sexuality defines my identity. The language I speak, the place I live, the surrounding people and culture I have grown up in, define my identity, not my sexuality. Being gay is not an identity. It is a preference of sexual partners you choose. You can say that gays go to parades and do certain stuff and there is a gay culture, well there is a different food cultures too. Do identify myself through food?

I can't remember any wars because of food consumption style identities.

Well, I might be wrong, because I feel things different. And as I have never felt that sexuality is part of my identity.

What about you?

[fhunter]

I can't remember any wars because of food consumption style identities.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indian_Re ... ield_rifle

This is more of religion than food, but technically still fits.

[cutnbulls2ox (imported)]

I think hypersexual men must often associate their sexuality and sexual drive and abilities as a big part of who they are. They would lose alot if they were neutered to non sexual men. Like playing sports is a big part of many men s self concept and their identity. Lots of hobbies can be part of a man s self idenity. Our activities do impact our self concepts and identities.

[Arab Nights (imported)]

Very interesting point you bring up, erikboy, but I have to disagree a bit. While long in the tooth, my profession as I look back is one that is different enough (outdoors, travel, intellectual and cultural challenges) that it defines us, especially up to middle age. When I got downsized back in 90s from my secure corporate retirement job, I was devastated. It wasn't just a job, I defined myself by my position and taking it away meant I was nothing. There were no more secure retirement jobs for me in life, but I have more or less filled the years with gig work and now joke that I can look 98% of the population in the eye and say that I have been fired in more countries than they have visited. In other words, it took a bit, but for years now my identity has been me, not my job position, and if you don't like it you can piss off.

Now I am old enough that the desires have waned a lot and I do feel like back getting downsized. Part of what defined me is gone and I need to adjust. Crap. Now my identify is a geezer.

You say that you never felt that sexuality defines your identity. All I can say is that it and many other things have defined my identity including the things which I am not.

That is not to say being gay or straight of fat or thin or handsome or ugly is inherently good or bad. They just are.

[TopManFL (imported)]

"What do you do?"

It's a simple question that gets asked of people all the time. It is an acknowledgment that the thing we do to keep the electrics company, our landlord and stomachs happy is most of what makes us who we are?

I think if you were asked that at a party and answered, "nothing, I'm a eunuch", it might shut down the conversation.

[GordonGG (imported)]

My sexuality was a big part of me. So big that it was detrimental almost my whole life. Finally I had the wherewithal to do something about it. I should have done it decades ago.

[Chesleyt (imported)]

I agree with Gordon 100 percent

[erikboy (imported)]

Well, I have few questions.

If you are sent to mars, or lonely island, or to jail, will it change your personality, as you are not able to chase women and have sex?

If one of your limb is removed, will it change your personality, as you might not able to do stuff you were used to?

Can blindness be a part of persons identity?

There might be different opinions, but I have felt that I am still me since I remeber myself. Only I have had different possibilities, rights, environment, abilities at different ages that limit or enable me to do various things.

Sex drive for me is one of these enable/disable factors.

Or when you learn something, for example to fly planes. Is that a part of your identity, or is that your ability?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personal_identity

[erikboy (imported)]

That brings gender identity into my mind.

[cutnbulls2ox (imported)]

Lots of people will describe themselves as golfers, sailers, football players, painters, runners, travelers, music lovers, cooks, and countless other activities as a big part of their identities. If they lost their abilities to do those things, they would stop describing themselves in those terms. That is a change in identity.

Males who stop impregnating or never impregnate any females still are males. Men who get voluntary sterilization are still males, even though they are then unable to impregnate. Impotent men are still males.

Testosterone production is exceptionally male and masculinizes the body and mind. So the loss of testosterone and not replacing it with artificial testosterone is the most vital function of our balls in whether or not we are males and to what degree. Having a penis is unquestionably male. Having no balls is less clear cut.

[Arab Nights (imported)]

If you are interested in the question of identity without the focus on sexuality, you might find this of interest:

https://getpocket.com/explore/item/how- ... ket-newtab

Rush. It was one of the stories this morning when you open Firefox.

Because of my work, I have spent my life in more 'extreme' environments: deserts, jungles and high in the mountains. It seems to me that tropical people where you reach up in a tree and grab a fruit if you are hiungry are different than people in deserts and at altitude where you have to set aside part of the harvest for seed next year and raise animals for slaughter next year. Tropical people wear too few clothes, lie to easily and think about sex all the time. Note of caution - some agree with that and some don't.

[Supranatural (imported)]

Well, I might be wrong, because I feel things different. And as I have never felt that sexuality is part of my identity.

What about you?

I had issues accepting myself before, so it was really necessary for me to embrace it and the culture that come along with it. I did get somewhat involved with a local group.

But as things got better, I did start to focus more on bigger issues in the world, and that had and is more of a part of me now.

I feel more of an affinity for all of you on here than with the broad gay demographic.

Perhaps like me, there will always be some that need that culture to help them love themselves.

[Supranatural (imported)]

I think if you were asked that at a party and answered, "nothing, I'm a eunuch", it might shut down the conversation.

I think many people would be very intrigued as to how it affects your life, especially your sexual proclivities lol. Sex is always a hot topic, it's just many people won't admit to how much they like talking about it.

It might make things awkward if you replied to them by saying something like "Well, I'm no longer, like you, a slave to my carnal desires anymore *sip"

[keyman419 (imported)]

I was reading another article about loosing libido, and loosing libido was described there as loosing part of person identity. I was little surprised, how an essential desire, which is designed to produce offspring, can be part of identity?

I too struggle with this, mainly to understand the concepts of everything. The more important question is should it be part of identity??? I think probably not. You specifically mention libido. I don't feel I've ever had libido, at least not sexually attracted to someone. I see their character and who they are as a person/man and nothing to do with their genitals, having sex, or reproducing. I'm not exactly sure what went into my decision to be fully nullified, but I did, because I wanted to make a change that I thought would be better and look nice. Is it part of my identity?? I'm not sure and I'm not sure I care, I am who I am as a loving and caring person. Perhaps this is why I'm a single lonely gay man today, haha. I do desire to have a nice younger eunuch boy who wishes a nullo daddy. Not for sex but for companionship without the pressure of sex.

I kinda chuckle at commercials for ED now. I never had those desires so I can't relate but it just seems funny that such an issue causes such severe distress to some men. Here are these guys who have ED and want to fix that and I had my genitals fully removed. Is their distress because they see it as part of their identity?? Is this the correct interpretation of identity?? If I don't tell anyone I've been nullified, they wouldn't know. A guy with ED would be in the same situation. I'm not putting down guys with ED, I'm just saying I don't get it because I've never been there with that type of drive.

Not to derail the discussion but think this is closely related to gender and sexuality. I consider myself a gay man who likes the company of men, but I have no genitals now. But I still am a man. Basically I don't know how I feel about all this. I just think we have to be happy in our own skin and should be the best people we can be towards others.

My 2 cents...

[Begoneboy (imported)]

Identity is in our head. The one above the shoulder. All the other concepts only come into play as how we perceive them. Identity is learned from how our experiences are recorded in the brain over the years of life. Identity has nothing to do with how others see us but how our brain see ourself.

At least this is an opinion to be considered.

[Arab Nights (imported)]

Anyone interested in this might enjoy this article on Firefox when I opened it this morning.

https://getpocket.com/explore/item/

ursula-k-le-guin-on-being-a-man?utm_source=pocket-newtab

It probably is too long to paste here, but it is about the author Ursula LeGuin who some years ago wrote "Introducing Myself" and updated that with "The Wave in the Mind."

[Supranatural (imported)]

Is their distress because they see it as part of their identity??

I just think we have to be happy in our own skin and should be the best people we can be towards others.

My 2 cents...

Perhaps it is a big part of their identity. For some, their identity can be dependent on why, how, and who they interact with. Though, many persons derive their sense of identity from what they exclusively think and feel about themselves.

I agree completely. Since becoming low-T, it has made me realize how important it is to love oneself in an earnest way, and not just in a superficial way, as I had for much, if not all, my life. I think we all need to find that correct balance between loving ourselves and loving others.