What Would My Mother Say??

[bullgeo (imported)]

I STILL CAN'T TELL MY MOTHER OR ANY OF MY FAMILY ABOUT MY CASTRATION. I CAN TALK ABOUT IT WITH ANYBODY ELSE, BUT THEY DON'T WANT TO LISTEN, THEY THINK I'M WEIRD.

AM I THE ONLY ONE THAT FEELS THIS WAY, OR GET THE SAME REACTIONS FROM YOUR FRIENDS?

[happousai (imported)]

I get the feeling that many people (people who don't come to bulletin boards like this one, of course) are uninterested/weirded out by such topics.

[Blaise (imported)]

think this topic is weird. That doesn't mean they don't share our anxieties and fears. They do.

I keep telling people about my loss of testoterone. Women babble about their loss of hormones, why shouldn't I talk about my own losses.

[Paolo]

I let one person in on it (my thoughts on castration, outside of here) ONE time and I'll never do it again. It's not exactly dinner table conversation, you know.

Oh, and please turn your caps lock off.

[Riverwind (imported)]

Telling the family, that was not my first choise but when I did they were fine with it, I think yours may be also. Tell them you had cancer and they had to be removed. For me it has been a good thing.

Riverwind

OH yes, they know about the Eunuch Archives, the Chat room everything.

Good Luck

[Andrew (imported)]

Telling the family, that was not my first choise but when I did they were fine with it, I think yours may be also. Tell them you had cancer and they had to be removed.

That is, in fact, what I have told my family and friends. And after all, prostate cancer is not that uncommon in men age 57. which I was at the time of the surgery.

As of today, still no regrets, and still think this current calmness to be wonderful.

:catclock:

[Mac (imported)]

Telling the family, that was not my first choise but when I did they were fine with it, ... Tell them you had cancer and they had to be removed.

Why is it that people can accept anything if it is medically required but not if it is elective? What is so sacred about ones penis and testicles that people can't accept their removal?

[Tomas (imported)]

I find it amazing how many times I hear things like "Blah, blah, blah, back when I had my hysterectomy, blah" from even casual aquaintences, yet would never EVER expect to hear "Blah, blah, blah, back back when I was castrated, blah" from even close friends.

There is a HUGE difference in what our particular culture/society/time feels it is OK to talk about, and what is hidden and dark.

Just off-hand I'd say that probably only a dozen of the folks I worked with/worked for me at the "Fortune 500" company knew directly from me or discussed it with me.

In the start-up company I formed later, it was much more general knowledge - might have had something to do with the *CHIEF EUNUCH* under my name on my desk and on my office door, eh?

Maybe it was the way I dressed: It was obvious there was nothing in my crotch.

Maybe it was some of the office parties - uh, we'll leave those alone ...

I also had two sets of business cards, one of which listed me as "CTO" and the other as "CTO and Chief Eunuch, " depending on who I was giving it to.

But family? Hmmmmmmm ... If they didn't have to know they didn't hear it from me.

Strange, eh?

http://home.earthlink.net/~imagepool/tomsig03.gif

[Mac (imported)]

I find it amazing how many times I hear things like ...

back when I had my hysterectomy ... yet would never EVER expect to hear ...

back back when I was castrated ...

. ... Strange, eh? It is a real dual standard. Hysterectony is rather common and generally accepted. However, castration and penectony are frowned upon and not openly discussed. WHY?

[happousai (imported)]

Andrew wrote:

>

That is, in fact, what I have told my family and friends.

> And after all, prostate cancer is not that uncommon in

> men age 57. which I was at the time of the surgery.

I thought you did have prostate cancer, although it was only at stage A, where using castration to treat it woul

d have been overkill for most people.

Tomas wrote:

> In the start-up company I formed later, it was much

> more general knowledge - might have had something

> to do with the *CHIEF EUNUCH* under my name on my

> desk and on my office door, eh?

I suppose when you're the boss, it's easier to express yourself because it's not like people can decide to fire you because they don't like eunuchs?

[Andrew (imported)]

I thought you did have prostate cancer, although it was only at stage A, where using castration to treat it woul

d have been overkill for most people.

Nowadays, it probably is, but it put an end not only to my stage A, but to my VERY REAL excessive libido problem. You might say I killed two birds with one stone. Or should that be two birds with two stones?



In any case, the PSA is less then 0.1 and I am back in control of my sexuality and life. No regrets.

[wannabe_alto (imported)]

You're not the only one - I'm not even sure who I shld first put forward the idea that I wanna be castrated.....

[numnuts (imported)]

If people can choose to have face lifts, liposuction, implants, and hair transplants for nothing more than reasons of vanity, then I think people should not be considered weird to desire castration for very real medical, transgendered, and libido problems.

[thefraj (imported)]

Glad you dragged this one out of the vaults Wannabe It's a good thread.

Parents will feel like their son is removing a perfectly healthy part of the body.

Try to imagine if you had a son who wanted to remove a leg, or a hand - there was nothing wrong with it - he just felt like he had to have it removed. (amputee fetishism)

Thats how most parents will be feeling. I've never been able to talk much to my parents about this, and I doubt many people will. (Especially fathers!)

From what little I've learned, there's a lingering feeling of "faluire as a parent". Thoughts of "what did we do wrong?" My folks went all through family albums and video to look for clues. But of course there are none!

The truth is, nothing is wrong! That's like parents blaming themselves for their son being gay! Some people are, it happens, it's different and nothing to be ashamed of.

_____________

For fathers, this will be almost impossible to talk about. As the male role model, the feelings of faliure here will be particularly intense : and often so deeply routed that simply talking may be painful.

That being said, mothers will react differently.

Although the shock and horror of it all will be difficult to overcome, often mums will "just want their child to be happy", whatever path they choose, and may - at some stage later in life - open up. But no guarantee!

~Rog

[tugon (imported)]

I never felt my family needed to know. I never thought that knowledge would improve the relationship. I had no desire to go any farther with mods so what they can't see I thought can't freak them out. The friends I have felt comfortable to tell dealt with it best. Follow your gut instincts when you are ready to share.

[sag111 (imported)]

I have told some of my friends about my castration and the women are ok with it but the men cant handel it so i elect to not let most of my male friends in on my secret.Most of my friends are women anyway as being castrated has not changed how i look at women i just love them more but dont lust for them like i used to.

[Blaise (imported)]

I have told some of my friends about my castration and the women are ok with it but the men cant handel it so i elect to not let most of my male friends in on my secret.Most of my friends are women anyway as being castrated has not changed how i look at women i just love them more but dont lust for them like i used to.

I don't know why, but your experience makes sense to me. Not lusting for women (or anyone else for that matter) for over a decade was interesting. I liked that. However, I am not ashamed to lust again!

In New Orleans, people seemed to accept other people and their sexuality without violating privacy. I doubt anyone whom I know cares much about my sexuality.

[wannabe_alto (imported)]

Overall, I think I wld agree with Tugon - tell those who need to know (why do I suddenly feel myself back in the 70's again?)

[SplitDik (imported)]

I think telling your parents is unnecessary. You need to think very carefully about why you want to share it. If you're looking for some sort of acceptance you may be sorely disappointed!

I think you should only tell people that it affects, and that is probably a small set of people. For example, transgender people should tell their parents because showing up to family gatherings in your new gender will affect them. But what's in your pants is no one's business except you and intimate partners -- not even your parents.

If you're going to tell your parents, it should be after you are fully comfortable with it yourself, so their approval/disapproval won't affect your content with your castrated state.

[thefraj (imported)]

I didn't share mine voulentarily Dr. Kimmel kindly decided to call home to check I was 'all set for surgery next week', and I was out at work at the time.

And at 21, was still living with my parents.

Of course there were one or two questions waiting for me when I did finsih work that day

________

Fortunately I moved out to my Univeristy campus two months after that, and we didn't speak for a good month or two later. But thing's are relatively patched up. But let this be a warning to anyone wishing to tell family. Some simply will never understand.

~Rog.

[philip1 (imported)]

my experience with parents has been bumpy.

I told them I was a eunuch with a letter and waited till they had read it to guage their response. Supprisingly my father took it better than my mother did (probably due to the fact he is kind of in the same boat as me). My mother freaked out and went on a tiraid about self mutilation but my dad just ast and thought about what he was going to ask. He asked basically what all had been removed and how I was going to deal with the side effects but after that he seemed fine with it. My mom continued to rant for a week afterwards. The things she said were not true about mood swings that get worse and worse and that i will crumble overnight from osteo. I waited till she had calmed down then I went to them both armed with enough information that they couldn't say I didn't have my facts in order. They took the information and what I said about why I decided that this had to happen. After about three hours of talking about why and how they ended agreeing with my reasoning.

I feel lucky that they were willing to listen.