Hello all

[SlipperyOtter (imported)]

Hello all,

I figure it is time to introduce myself, rather than lurk in the forums. Where to begin...

I saw the first image of someone nullified more than 10 years ago. I knew the instant I saw it, that was what I was meant to be. I never figured anyone could get that done and how that person did seemed like "must have known a surgeon or something".

Fast forward to present day and I found a nullo guy on Twitter. I messaged him and he gave me information on the Crane Center. From there I went down the rabbit hole of possibilities. Looking at requirements, I immediately started taking the steps needed to go forward - first being behavioral therapy for a proper diagnosis (I had my first session today). I feel a wicked sense of urgency now. It's been 10+ years of having this knowledge of what I wanted and feeling like I could never have it. And now I can. More online reading and this site was referenced. So here I am.

The part that I find difficult is what to say about my gender. I am male, identify as male, and will continue to identify as male after my procedure. I don't think that is something therapists, and those who keep the gate to surgery, will want to hear.

Any thoughts or suggestions are appreciated. Any questions will be answered.

Cheers to you all

[blackblack (imported)]

It's not your fault.Just say what's your real thought,your gender can not be appointed.

But honestly,you can't get surgery if you say that,maybe you can be a trans temporary, after all you done the surgery,you are on your own.

[Valery_V (imported)]

Congratulations! You have come to the right site and found yourself among like-minded people.

As you speak to doctors: "

I am male, identify as male, and will continue to identify as male after my procedure.

" You correctly assume: "I do no

t think that is something therapists, and those who keep the gate to surgery, will want to hear.

"

I became an eunuch in my youth, but I always claimed that I am asexual that I do not see myself as the father of family. Maybe my position ... was convincing enough?

[SlipperyOtter (imported)]

It's not your fault.Just say what's your real thought,your gender can not be appointed.

But honestly,you can't get surgery if you say that,maybe you can be a trans temporary, after all you done the surgery,you are on your own.

I've thought about the temporary trans concept. I don't think I could live as female for a year to appease some people who think they know what's best for me. I've been reading over the WPATH standards of care. Hoping I can find some loophole.

I'm also thinking I need to get over the idea that I am "male". The idea of being non-gender binary doesn't bother me at all. I don't fit into that norm; never have.

I guess we shall see how it goes.

Thank you for the reply.

[SlipperyOtter (imported)]

I think I will have to be willing to change how I speak about my gender. I've spent a lot of time thinking about it since my initial visit with the LMCW. I honestly think I'm both. That's the point of working with someone, right? Finding the words to correctly define who I am?

I'm jealous of your eunuch-hood. I wish I could make that happen more quickly. I think it would be a great step to self discovery.

[kristoff]

I've thought about the temporary trans concept. I don't think I could live as female for a year to appease some people who think they know what's best for me. I've been reading over the WPATH standards of care. Hoping I can find some loophole.

I'm also thinking I need to get over the idea that I am "male". The idea of being non-gender binary doesn't bother me at all. I don't fit into that norm; never have.

I guess we shall see how it goes.

Thank you for the reply.

The new WPATH standards of care should be out somewhat soon. There will be a chapter on eunuchs and another on non-binary folks, and their standards of care.

[SlipperyOtter (imported)]

I'm looking forward to it. I recently read the current version. So, the new one should be interesting. Their website says spring. Fingers crossed.

[kristoff]

I'm looking forward to it. I recently read the current version. So, the new one should be interesting. Their website says spring. Fingers crossed.

Patience is the key to it. It has been about 2-3 years getting to here, and it will be good. I've already read the two chapters above; they will be very helpful.

[justapup (imported)]

Congrats! You have been taking your first steps! They were exciting for me as well. When I talked to my PCP I had told him that I wanted to be in between the two sexes. 9 months later and I am now wanting to start low dose estrogen to see what it does to my body and to see if I like how it feels over testosterone. After your procedure, the view of yourself might change and grow. I wish you luck on your continuing journey ^.^

[Begoneboy (imported)]

Congrats! You have been taking your first steps! They were exciting for me as well. When I talked to my PCP I had told him that I wanted to be in between the two sexes. 9 months later and I am now wanting to start low dose estrogen to see what it does to my body and to see if I like how it feels over testosterone. After your procedure, the view of yourself might change and grow. I wish you luck on your continuing journey ^.^

If you didn't take "T" after the procedure You will definitely begin to feel different after several months. The change in feeling will take place slowly. Don't dispare, be patient. I only took "E" with no progesterone. Some say that makes a difference. I don't know if it does or not. Please use medical advice as you plan to do. I didn't and perhaps am paying the price for it. Not that I am unhappy with the end results but be prepared.

[SlipperyOtter (imported)]

Patience is the key to it. It has been about 2-3 years getting to here, and it will be good. I've already read the two chapters above; they will be very helpful.

I'm looking forward to it. How are you in the know with the two chapters? Now I just want to know more.

[SlipperyOtter (imported)]

If you didn't take "T" after the procedure You will definitely begin to feel different after several months. The change in feeling will take place slowly. Don't dispare, be patient. I only took "E" with no progesterone. Some say that makes a difference. I don't know if it does or not. Please use medical advice as you plan to do. I didn't and perhaps am paying the price for it. Not that I am unhappy with the end results but be prepared.

I've read some of your posts and I am interested to know more about you and your experience. Do you have some more posts on your experience?

I do want to say, I own a Harley and we're not all that bad, are we?

[SlipperyOtter (imported)]

Congrats! You have been taking your first steps! They were exciting for me as well. When I talked to my PCP I had told him that I wanted to be in between the two sexes. 9 months later and I am now wanting to start low dose estrogen to see what it does to my body and to see if I like how it feels over testosterone. After your procedure, the view of yourself might change and grow. I wish you luck on your continuing journey ^.^

Do you feel like you may be moving in the direction of transitioning from one sex to another? I can definitely see how my view of myself will change. And I'm ready for that. I feel like I have questions that I can't answer.

[justapup (imported)]

Hello! I have not taken any testosterone after my surgery. The doctor actually steered me away from starting immediately on a hormone. With the slight nudge from the Dr. I never started up on it. Planing on low does E in the spring.

[justapup (imported)]

Do you feel like you may be moving in the direction of transitioning from one sex to another? I can definitely see how my view of myself will change. And I'm ready for that. I feel like I have questions that I can't answer.

I want to push femininity, but I am not looking to fully change to female. I do not know where I will end up exactly, but I am curious enough about Estrogen to try it and see where things go.

[Begoneboy (imported)]

I've read some of your posts and I am interested to know more about you and your experience. Do you have some more posts on your experience?

I do want to say, I own a Harley and we're not all that bad, are we?

I also have a Harley but keep it in the garage. Mainly because it's a 1978 1/2 FXE Superglide. There were only 8,000 of `em made so it's kind of a special piece of American history. I ride a V-Star which is far more to my taste. No, we Harley owners aren't all that bad any more than saying all men are bad or all women are bad. Which is the point, not to lump folks into categories which is the first step to bigotry of one sort or another. And I have to say that anybody in the position that we share in common here on the archive, society already places in a category as different from everybody else. Sort of like the early 70's social view of anybody on a motorcycle. I began my journey long before that and didn't even know there was a name for it. "Eunuch" or "Nullo" Sort of like the book Conundrum by Jan Morris. He/She felt like something was trapped inside a body different than the body was. Although I never felt like there was a woman trapped inside this body I also felt like the body didn't belong as it was. "A male" At least in the warped view I shared with society, there could only be two sexes. I had no desire of becoming female but certainly desired to rid myself of the male parts. Which I was finally able to find a decent surgeon with a private hospital who simply traded money for whatever a person would desire. That was in the early 90s when it was very different than today. I had and still have no desire to carry a banner and go shout upon the mountain top to everybody to "look at me, And change everything in society to cater to me". As the gay community does. Oops, I'm on my soap box again.

My journey began simply to rid myself of the physical signs of being one sex or another. Note I used the word sex and not gender. I don't confuse the two words. Sex is a physical thing and gender is a feeling thing. You don't go have great gender, you go have great sex. Again, a physical thing. I mistakenly thought that after I had removed what society designated as the sex organs that would be the end of my journey. Nothing could have been further from the truth of course. In time the body rebelled over not having this hormone or that. And I began suffering from the lack of hormones or shall we say no where near enough. It took some ingestion of some hormone to balance my body and take away what I was suffering. Which was a diminishing amount of strength and stamina. I chose to use "E" rather than "T".

Which is the point at where you are now. Making a choice. I wasn't well informed in making my choice and may well have made some wrong ones at the time. I'm responsible for those choices and happily live with them. You don't need to go down the path of experimentation. There is now a lot of sound medical advice and help available and with a well thought out decision and plan as to what you really want for yourself it can be achieved. I have made many posts here on the archive to share some experiences of what perhaps to avoid in our journey. They are all over the forum and can all be searched. Feel free to PM if I can help in any way.

[SlipperyOtter (imported)]

I want to push femininity, but I am not looking to fully change to female. I do not know where I will end up exactly, but I am curious enough about Estrogen to try it and see where things go.

I understand. I am still working to understand what I am. I feel like something in the middle. More to come as I work with the behavioral folks to figure myself out.

[SlipperyOtter (imported)]

I also have a Harley but keep it in the garage. Mainly because it's a 1978 1/2 FXE Superglide. There were only 8,000 of `em made so it's kind of a special piece of American history. I ride a V-Star which is far more to my taste. No, we Harley owners aren't all that bad any more than saying all men are bad or all women are bad. Which is the point, not to lump folks into categories which is the first step to bigotry of one sort or another. And I have to say that anybody in the position that we share in common here on the archive, society already places in a category as different from everybody else. Sort of like the early 70's social view of anybody on a motorcycle. I began my journey long before that and didn't even know there was a name for it. "Eunuch" or "Nullo" Sort of like the book Conundrum by Jan Morris. He/She felt like something was trapped inside a body different than the body was. Although I never felt like there was a woman trapped inside this body I also felt like the body didn't belong as it was. "A male" At least in the warped view I shared with society, there could only be two sexes. I had no desire of becoming female but certainly desired to rid myself of the male parts. Which I was finally able to find a decent surgeon with a private hospital who simply traded money for whatever a person would desire. That was in the early 90s when it was very different than today. I had and still have no desire to carry a banner and go shout upon the mountain top to everybody to "look at me, And change everything in society to cater to me". As the gay community does. Oops, I'm on my soap box again.

My journey began simply to rid myself of the physical signs of being one sex or another. Note I used the word sex and not gender. I don't confuse the two words. Sex is a physical thing and gender is a feeling thing. You don't go have great gender, you go have great sex. Again, a physical thing. I mistakenly thought that after I had removed what society designated as the sex organs that would be the end of my journey. Nothing could have been further from the truth of course. In time the body rebelled over not having this hormone or that. And I began suffering from the lack of hormones or shall we say no where near enough. It took some ingestion of some hormone to balance my body and take away what I was suffering. Which was a diminishing amount of strength and stamina. I chose to use "E" rather than "T".

Which is the point at where you are now. Making a choice. I wasn't well informed in making my choice and may well have made some wrong ones at the time. I'm responsible for those choices and happily live with them. You don't need to go down the path of experimentation. There is now a lot of sound medical advice and help available and with a well thought out decision and plan as to what you really want for yourself it can be achieved. I have made many posts here on the archive to share some experiences of what perhaps to avoid in our journey. They are all over the forum and can all be searched. Feel free to PM if I can help in any way.

Thank you. Everyone's posts here, personal and informative, are immeasurably helpful to me. Every sentence makes me think, consider something I never would think of on my own, and I value every word of it. I appreciate you.

[WheelyCurious]

Patience is the key to it. It has been about 2-3 years getting to here, and it will be good. I've already read the two chapters above; they will be very helpful.

How likely is it that the Transgender centers will be familiar with the new chapters in the hopefully soon to be released WPATH standards? As it was suggested elsewhere, I've downloaded and read the current SOC and it seemed to me like I didn't fit any of their described categories at all, and decidedly stretched the 'not all cases fit' section.... I don't want to hijack Otter's thread by going into details, but is this something that I can point at if I get pushback during my upcoming appointment?

WheelyCurious

[SlipperyOtter (imported)]

How likely is it that the Transgender centers will be familiar with the new chapters in the hopefully soon to be released WPATH standards? As it was suggested elsewhere, I've downloaded and read the current SOC and it seemed to me like I didn't fit any of their described categories at all, and decidedly stretched the 'not all cases fit' section.... I don't want to hijack Otter's thread by going into details, but is this something that I can point at if I get pushback during my upcoming appointment?

WheelyCurious

Hijack away!

The therapist I am working with is fully in the know with the pending release and is waiting for it. I think the word is out.

[WheelyCurious]

Hijack away!

The therapist I am working with is fully in the know with the pending release and is waiting for it. I think the word is out.

That is good to hear, as if the word is out I'd expect this center to be up on the latest. Mass General is a major teaching hospital associated w/ Harvard so they should be on the cutting edge (pun intended ) of the field.....

WheelyCurious

[Losethem (imported)]

How likely is it that the Transgender centers will be familiar with the new chapters in the hopefully soon to be released WPATH standards? As it was suggested elsewhere, I've downloaded and read the current SOC and it seemed to me like I didn't fit any of their described categories at all, and decidedly stretched the 'not all cases fit' section.... I don't want to hijack Otter's thread by going into details, but is this something that I can point at if I get pushback during my upcoming appointment?

WheelyCurious

If they are not up on it, I'd question if they are a legitimate care provider. It's THEIR job to be up on these things.