Are you a boy or are you a girl?

[Scottie (imported)]

You know that question looms in my mind. I have had some experiences with sensitive breasts from female hormones, and also prolactin build up in my brain ... which my doc didin't know where it was comming from. Now I wonder, do I want to carry on as a Male? as a Transgendered? or a Eunuch. This is a real tough one. Im on a tiny bit of male hormones just to keep the swets away and to be comfortable... but I wonder I really really do. Scottie

[Tomas (imported)]

Over the past decade and a half I've passed as male, female, and confusing. Currently, with my face-fur back again, I'm passing as "male."

How do I feel most comfortable being seen?

Probably as male, though legitimately passing as female was interesting and quite fascinating.

Thing is, for me at least, the presentation for passing was a whole lot of "work" for me, and since I didn't have a really deep seated "drive" to need it I could drop it without a tremendous amount of difficulty.

These days I'm just a guy who dresses rather oddly, but people get used to that.

Scottie, it really depends on who you are deep inside. If you are psychologicly male, so be it, if female, then you have a lot of work ahead. With luck you will find out who/what you are, and how you need to present that to others.

You may even find that you are most comfortable as some variation of "androgyne."

Thing is, most everyone in society/culture needs to make a determination of "what sex is this individual" before they can comfortably fit them in to one of only two boxes that most people have in their minds for that. If one does not comfortably catagorize into one of those two, there is a tremendous difficulty for most people in interacting an a consistant manner, and they often get angry ...

I used to enjoy sometimes presenting a totally mixed bag of clues so that I would end up flopping about from one box to another in their minds. There are some people who can deal with that, even easily, and others (the majority) who have a great difficulty, and cannot.

In that second worldview there are only two sexes, they are at the extremes, there IS no middle ground, and you are as you were born.

(Yes, there are those born in the middle - I was to some extent - but those rigid minds do not recognize THAT possibility, either. To them a person is born either Male or Female, and is stuck with that for life - THERE IS NO GREY AREA! If one presents so as to disagree with how the world absolutely works in their opinion, they reject it, and often become angry at the person who will not cooperate and fit into how things must be. These folks are the ones who can even become violently physical when their worldview is challenged.)

Once you are certain you have identified who you are/need to be, then you can work on being that individual, full time, no "passing," no artifice.

So, who am I? Difficult to define, but generally presenting as a rather gentle but strong person who is male, but not aggresively so.

Maybe it's the tights, eh?

(Sorry for wandering a bit in this post, but I had a lot of disparate ideas warring to be expressed, and gave none of them enough space or time.)

Take care,

http://home.earthlink.net/~imagepool/tomsig03.gif

[Christina (imported)]

Scottie,

Your question of identity is very valid. Perhaps it is because you are still settling into your newfound life as a Eunuch. It may take you several months to find out that your are comfortable with this person you are now.

...........>

Thing is, for me at least, the presentation for passing was a whole lot of "work" for me, and since I didn't have a really deep seated "drive" to need it I could drop it without a tremendous amount of difficulty.

............>

Scottie, it really depends on who you are deep inside. If you are psychologicly male, so be it, if female, then you have a lot of work ahead. With luck you will find out who/what you are, and how you need to present that to others.

............>

Thing is, most everyone in society/culture needs to make a determination of "what sex is this individual" before they can comfortably fit them in to one of only two boxes that most people have in their minds for that. If one does not comfortably catagorize into one of those two, there is a tremendous difficulty for most people in interacting an a consistant manner, and they often get angry ...

...........>

In that second worldview there are only two sexes, they are at the extremes, there IS no middle ground, and you are as you were born.

(Yes, there are those born in the middle - I was to some extent - but those rigid minds do not recognize THAT possibility, either. To them a person is born either Male or Female, and is stuck with that for life - THERE IS NO GREY AREA! If one presents so as to disagree with how the world absolutely works in their opinion, they reject it, and often become angry at the person who will not cooperate and fit into how things must be. These folks are the ones who can even become violently physical when their worldview is challenged.)

..........>

Tomas brings up some important points that you should consider. I have delt with identity issues my whole life until I took the steps necessary to make a change. It's not a easy thing to do, but I feel comfortable presenting myself to the world as the gender I had always wanted to, or should have been.

Most of the general population have a hard time dealing with someone that does not fit the mold of a defined appearence. I have had first hand experience in dealing with this as I have gone, and still going, through a transition. Anger and resentment are the most common things one has to deal with. So far I have been limited to verbal abuse by others that don't see me as their expectations of a female, others have suffered far worse. I can deal with it so far.

I'm not saying this is a desicion you should make tomorrow or in the near future, but one that YOU should be comfortable with. Give yourself some time to contemplate the possibilitys. You may want to try and explore some of the alternatives, it might help you to decided where you are heading. (eg. spend a day enfemme in a nearby town or city to see how it feels to live as a woman) A much simpler approach would be to spend some time reading the bio's of other TG/TS folks on the web. Read all that they have said and gone through to get a better idea of what you believe is the right choice for you. Whatever you decide, the bottom line is that you should be happy about where you are in life or who you end up to be.

[Andrew (imported)]

You know that question looms in my mind. I have had some experiences with sensitive breasts from female hormones, and also prolactin build up in my brain ... which my doc didin't know where it was comming from. Now I wonder, do I want to carry on as a Male? as a Transgendered? or a Eunuch. This is a real tough one. Im on a tiny bit of male hormones just to keep the swets away and to be comfortable... but I wonder I really really do. Scottie

In classical times, there were men, women, and eunuchs. Nowadays, society insists we shoehorn everyone into one of two sexes, or one of two genders, or SOMETHING.

I certainly am not female ("not that there is anything wrong with that" <g>). I am comfortably male, use male public bathrooms, dress as a male (other then a bra for gynecomastia) and so on and so forth. OK, if I didn't have a beard, some people might wonder about my androgeny.

But I have little in the way of traditional masculine sex drive or testosterone-induced aggression. So I identify myself as a eunuch. The third sex of classical times.

As always, you have just read my OPINION only, YMWV. The fact that I am age 58 may have something to do with this attitude.

[Mac (imported)]

You know that question looms in my mind. I have had some experiences ... and also prolactin build up in my brain ... which my doc didin't know where it was comming from. ... do I want to carry on as a Male? as a Transgendered? or a Eunuch. This is a real tough one.

ScottieThe human embryo starts out the same and sexual development doesn't take place until later in the pregnancy cycle. Some people are born as 100% hermaphrodites with sex organs and genitals of both sexes, while others have varying degrees of outward physical differences from total male to total female. However, nobody is either 100% male or female.

[Scottie (imported)]

Hi all! don't wanna wait for anything. I know though that I just better chill for now. My body has been through alot and it needs to get used to being a Eunuch. Then like suggested Ill read and study others profiles and make a decission which way to go. when I was on female hormones I liked the emotionality and the seemingly slower and gentle I seemed to be. The mind plays tricks on all of us though. I did like tender breasts and no erections, but darn I still like a good cum. So wait I will. Scottie

[Mac (imported)]

Hi all! don't wanna wait for anything. ... I did like tender breasts and no erections, but darn I still like a good cum. S

cottieScottie,

Erections and strength of ejaculations natuarlly deminish with age so as you say that "Good Cum" wont always be so good. So if you really want to be a girl, forget the "Good Cum" and go for it. You have to decide.

[A-1 (imported)]

Mine are...

The only thing is that...

I am not as good as I once was ...BUT... I am as good ONCE as I ever was...

A-1

[Ulysses (imported)]

I certainly don't live my own life by binary gender convention, though I recognise that the vast majority of our society does ............. I am a male-to-female post-op transsexual but still live in a largely male role (for work & social purposes etc) and would see myself very much androgynous in outlook - I do pass between both genders and, in my opinion at least, manage to do this successfully.

[Mac (imported)]

............. I am a male-to-female post-op transsexual but still live in a largely male role ..... I do pass between both genders and, .....

, manage to do this successfully.Ulysses,

I am really surprised that you qualified for SRS when you were not full-time female. I always thought that being full-time in the new sexual role was a requirement for SRS. Please tell us how you manage in both sexual roles.

[Ulysses (imported)]

Living full-time in new gender role is typically a requirement for SRS - note that this is not a legal requirement but a requiement under the conventional Standards of Care. Furthermore, were a surgeon to deviate from these guidelines, there is a risk that he / she could be subsequently sued by the patient.

However, in Asia (obviously Thailand, but not only Thailand), some of the SRS surgeons take a much more 'liberal' view than those in the western world ............ this was certainly good for me (SRSin Bangkok) and over 1 year after surgery, I don't have any regrets ........ however, I do realise that this more lax atitude to guidelines could result in higher rates of regretted SRS.

I pass between both genders simply because I made a conscious decision to do so a few years ago - in many ways, I would fit the description / profile of a typical transsexual - whilst I wanted the relevant physical modifications, I did not want to lose my current well-paid job, or parts of my social life (i.e. whilst I may not have chosen to live as a male, I did live as a successful one for 26+ years so did not want to lose my network of friends & colleagues overnight) - and there werea few other reasons too .......

How do I pass between both genders??? I am small build anyway, circa 5ft 6inch, wear a chest binder as a male etc - the only physical changes that have been noted by colleagues etc is a general sense that I appear to look younger (I assume due to female homones).

Ulysses

[trixie (imported)]

well i would love to lose face fur , i wonder how long hormones take to make any difference, as for male or female once balls are gone you are technically not male, but body dont seem to respond as quick. its still got its old male habits

[Rachel Carne (imported)]

Trixie,

Sorry honey - hormones don't get rid of 'face fur'. I hate (HATE) it too, but it takes laser or electrolysis treatment. That's why, in a recent documentary, they reckoned that, although mtf's are given hormones more readilly, ftm's are still given a rougher time 'cos facial hair is triggered within just 6 weeks on male hormones - and can't be 'undone' without the same kinds of treatment.

Bummer, but there you go.

lol Rachel

[Andrew (imported)]

well i would love to lose face fur , i wonder how long hormones take to make any difference, as for male or female once balls are gone you are technically not male, but body dont seem to respond as quick. its still got its old male habits

Shortly after my own castration, I noticed that the facial hair grew more slowly, but it still grew. I hate to shave, so always have a beard and moustache. After 13 months trying to cope with hot flashes and night sweats, I went on a low dose daily of Premarin. This made no difference in facial hair growth rate. It still seems to be 1/4 th of my pre-castration rate.

[nemo (imported)]

Some questions:

1) What do you do if you meet a women in your male social settings that appears to be interested?

2) What about facial hair and eye brows? These would seem to be difficult to hide one way or the other.

3) What about summer time and things that require minimal clothing?

4) What about things like leg hair?

[Ulysses (imported)]

Nemo

Of the questions raised, only the first poses a difficulty.

2nd question re. facial hair & eyebrows - I hav nevr been particularly masculine in appearance anyway so have never had significant facial hari growth - at present, I would still "suffer" from certain amount of 5 o'clock shadow syndrome but not to a noticeable extent (not noticebale at all if weaing make-up) and undergo laser treatment every 4 weeks that is gradually eliminiatin / reducing facial hair. Have my eyebrows plucked occasionally and, in male mode, no one has ever made in comment regarding my eyebrows.

Summer time / minimal clothing - I wear a chest binder always as a male - have been able to pass as a male inT-shirts etc with no problem - some people have made reference to my lack of muscles / non-muscular build but they do not equate this to gender ........ also, people tend to think I am younger than I actually am (I'm 28). Note - I do not wear shorts and obviously do not go swimming etc.

Leg hair / body hair - quite easily removed via deplatory (prob. not correct spelling) cream which I use every 3 weeks or so ........ note that facial hair is much more difficult to remove than body hair and also grows faster - thus, is much more of a problem ............ removal of body hair is simply a practical inconvenience.

As for the first question .............. it is difficult because I'm attracted to females and quite a lot of females tend to be attracted to me (that's not a boost - it's simply the case because,whilst I'm not in any way 'camp', I tend to be able to talk on same wavelength - i.e. not only about sport, drink etc) ........ its not difficult in terms of turning people down (i.e. no different here than a gay man) .............. but extremely frustrating and the only pat of being post-op TG that I don't like (though I knew this would be the case before I went ahead with surgery and, overall, the positives of being post-op outweigh the negatives).