becoming a eunuch

[Uncle Flo (imported)]

I am VERY relieved that you have been able to mend your relationship with your parents. Good news, indeed! --FLO--

[philip1 (imported)]

Bubba and I have left the EA chat for good there will be no return ever

[sag111 (imported)]

Phill i herd what happend and i am sorry this happened and i dont blame you for being upset.Their are people all over this world just looking for trouble and yes we have a few here to .I guess i would like to give you the same advice i gave you the other day and thats to let things cool off and take some time to think of everything.We love you my friend and beleave me this upsets me to

[philip1 (imported)]

there will be NO return to the chat.

[philip1 (imported)]

s

pent this afternoon with my parents we talked openly about my castration probably freaked out some of the diners at the restaurant we were at but it sure feels good to be able to talk with them openly about it instead of hedging and lieing about it.

[JesusA]

Phil,

I'm glad to hear that you are finally able to talk with your parents openly about who you really are and have always been. I'm sure that they must have known for years, but have been in denial. It's just too far outside general American concepts of "proper" human nature - though far more common than even you probably think. That they can come this far so quickly is remarkable and demonstrates the amount of love and understanding that you share. You are very fortunate.

I also have a wonderful mental image of the faces at surrounding tables in the restaurant. I took Riverwind and Sag111 to a restaurant just down the hill from my house when they were here. Even though they always dropped their volume down to nearly inaudible whenever critical words came up, I didn't. It was fun to watch.

We need for more people to feel comfortable and be open about castration and eunuchs. The larger society needs to be aware of and far more sympathetic to the issues discussed on the Archive. We especially need intelligent and articulate people, such as yourself, who will begin to increase awareness.

I am impressed by your thoughtfulness and intelligence. Thank you for all of your contributions.

Jesus

[DrewR (imported)]

Yesterday I read an article in which a gay pastor searched "eunuch" in an online King James bible and came up with 30 stories. Wow. Never mind religion, and I know you're asexual, not gay. Just it's evidence that the instinct to be castrated goes way back. What you're doing is a fine and natural thing. If you could go thorugh with it and talk about it openly, then I can come out to my friends about my feelings for eunuchs.

See, you're important to people you never even met.

[philip1 (imported)]

I had a really bad hot flash the other day just suddenly I turned beat red and started sweating but the funny thing is I really haven't had one since at least that I noticed. I have noticed that I cry more easily and thats alot better than getting angry and wanting to kill someone. I also have foutnd that my sense of right and wrong has gone more Black and White and less grey. My life since castration has been rough emotionaly but the end results are all positives and that tells me (without a shadow of doubt) I made the right choice.

[Robby (imported)]

I had a really bad hot flash the other day just suddenly I turned beat red and started sweating but the funny thing is I really haven't had one since at least that I noticed.

I have noticed that I cry more easily and thats alot better than getting angry and wanting to kill someone.

I also have found that my sense of right and wrong has gone more Black and White and less grey.

My life since castration has been rough emotionaly but the end results are all positives and that tells me (without a shadow of doubt) I made the right choice.

Philip,

You are experiencing change of life. Your life will not be the same. Castration is amazing and you get a front row seat. Change takes approximately 1 year from start to finish. Keep close to Bubba as you will need him more than ever.

Take care Philip,

[philip1 (imported)]

BOY was I wrong about the hot flashes being over. Last night I spent the entire night going from 130+f to -5f feelings needless to say i never got to sleep so now i know better than say oh ts over cause it certainly was not however this is nothing that Bubba and I can not get through as we have been through rougher times by far

[MacTheWolf (imported)]

Phil

I am sorry you and Bubba have decided to leave the EA chat. You two could have left under better circumstances. I wasn't there the night that the incident happened. Be that as it may, it was was the fault of one drunken person, who has since be de-oped, for that incident and past offenses.

There was no need for your personal attack on good people like Riverwind, IEunuch, Christina and others. They did nothing wrong but try to help.

Whenever you two are ready to return to the chatroom, you will be welcomed with open arms. If you choose not to return, we will understand and you will be missed.

You two contributed greatly to improve the quality of our chatroom and for that we are grateful.

Maybe as the saying goes, time heals all wounds.

Look at my dad. In WWII he hated the Japanese and long afterwards too. But in the years before his death he had many Japanese friends. Time can heal.

I enjoyed our chats. I enjoyed your humor. I'll remember the good and try to forget the bad.

[farharbour (imported)]

Sorry to hear about the misunderstanding. I will miss the good input that Bubba and Phil have provided..

[philip1 (imported)]

i pushed my body way too hard yesterday and boy am I paying for it today I hurt so bad i had to take the day off work cause i could barely move. works vice president called me today to find out if i was supposed to be on light duty or not and the truth is yes I am supposed to be lifting no more than 30 lbs for another week, my own fault clearly i pushed it and i really shouldn't have

[sag111 (imported)]

Phil

I am sorry you and Bubba have decided to leave the EA chat. You two could have left under better circumstances. I wasn't there the night that the incident happened. Be that as it may, it was was the fault of one drunken person, who has since be de-oped, for that incident and past offenses.

There was no need for your personal attack on good people like Riverwind, IEunuch, Christina and others. They did nothing wrong but try to help.

Whenever you two are ready to return to the chatroom, you will be welcomed with open arms. If you choose not to return, we will understand and you will be missed.

You two contributed greatly to improve the quality of our chatroom and for that we are grateful.

Maybe as the saying goes, time heals all wounds.

Look at my dad. In WWII he hated the Japanese and long afterwards too. But in the years before his death he had many Japanese friends. Time can heal.

I enjoyed our chats. I enjoyed your humor. I'll remember the good and try to forget the bad.

Thanks wolfe we needed that from you and yes River IEunuch and Christina are the best thanks for your post.

[bub (imported)]

yes you have to be careful Phil until you are completely healed - thats why i bug you so much to take it easy and will even after you are because we don't have the strength or stamina we used to when it comes to physical labour. it will be a challenge for me getting back to a "desk job"; i don't know how you do it everyday working so hard...

[philip1 (imported)]

Thanks Bubba

I brought Dr.Kimmel's light duty note to work today all I got was "oh well what the heck were you thinking lifting all that stuff" and then I was put on a sit down mind numbing job. The good thing is they don't want me to hurt myself so they are looking out for me even if I won't.

[sag111 (imported)]

Phill i am glad people are looking out for you and thats probley because you are a very kind and loving person i can see this by your posts and i am sure your bosses see that to.Keep on the mend and take care of yourself we love you and care about you as i see your bosses do to.

[philip1 (imported)]

Its kind of weird talking openly and saying Eunuch without wondering who will freak out cause I really don't care.

the shop foreman came to me and asked if my balls were feeling ok. I paused trying not to laugh and said fine. I was thinking that hey they don't feel anything anymore so thats great.

[philip1 (imported)]

Spent Mothers Day at the Folks place and it went great we talked openly about things till the rest of the family arrived and then the topic went elsewhere. I was a little nervous but things went well. Thankfully no one blurted out "You know what Phil's got no balls!" so that was a releif. I will be telling the rest of the family when the time is right and they are ready individually.

[philip1 (imported)]

Just my luck things went awry as usuall, Mom thinks Bubba is after me in a non-beneficial way. She thinks that Bub wants to get in my bed or worse and has been jumping to conclusions that are patently untrue. If she looked at both of us she would see that the looks that make her so nervous have been coming from me as much as they have from Bubba. Little does Mom know but the feelings are mutual between Bubba and I. I think if she knew the whole story her head would explode.

[Rushsite4 (imported)]

I am a chemical eunich (androcur) looking at DP injections ..... after all you have been through would you recommend surgery???? if I am certain about keeping my testesterone at close to zero for various reasons so it is a matter of courage on my part..... Your first cutter gave me a real scare.

[sag111 (imported)]

Hello Rushsite4 i was on depo provera for two years befor i had my surgery but i feel the surgery should be up to the individual person as we are all diffrent.When i asked my doctor for the surgery he knew i was ready because i was chemicaly castrated for two years and the time was right for me so all i can say is search the archives and your heart and you will get the answer you are looking for my friend.

[philip1 (imported)]

Rushsite4,

my experience with the cutter I would considder a good experience and yet I will say this if it comes down to the choice of waiting and saving up or going to a cutter I'd save up and go to Dr. Kimmel

Phil

[philip1 (imported)]

This was a long interesting weekend I had a close friend over for the first time since my surgery. Bub and I were laughing at jokes he didn't get so I told him I will have to let him in on the inside joke soon. he looked perplexed but accepted it. I really need to tell him about the real ME I think he would accept me for who I am.

Sunday my parents uncle and I went to watch my younger brother race (GAWD he's good) he changed classes this year from the stock (no mods allowed) to the open (Max hrsepower) class. He is using the same gutless little 1986 subaru hatchback he always has. The results were tallied and my kid brother (proud parent look) placed in the top 10 in his class out pacing cars with 3-500+ HP and his has 80. I am so proud of him I can't effectively put it into words. I'll just say this HATCH PATROL RULES!!!

As far as my situation goes Mom and I had a talk about Bub and I ceared up everything without tipping my hand (we love each other duh) and she is now cool with everything. so this weekend may have been long and NOT restfull but it was a good one.

[philip1 (imported)]

WOW!!! 19,000

I never imagined that the little blog of sorts I started only in August would have grown to the most viewed thread in the whole archive. My only hope is that this little story of a big part of my life has helped someone and perhaps made others think a little. to all those who have posted comments and words of encouragement a hearty THANK YOU!. Now for those who have helped me through the darkest times on this journey called "Becoming A Eunuch" (Christina, IEunuch, Macwolf, CE, Riverwind, Krister, Paolo, Knightfire, RichardUK, Sag, Lilac, adn especially these two ,SurfToad and Bubba [who have sat with me for hours talking and keeping me somewhat sane]) I owe my very life to these folks and I can't thank them enough.

P.S. A very special THANKS goes out to Dr Murray H. Kimmel.

Without him I would not be here to post this