becoming a eunuch

philip1 (imported) · Post by **philip1 (imported)** » Thu Jul 07, 2005 10:59 am

I'm now employed

woo hoo

JesusA · Post by **JesusA** » Thu Jul 07, 2005 11:43 am

Congratulations!

You pack up and move across the continent to follow Bubba. You have no contacts to speak of in your new location. You find a job in a week!!! This does say something important about your competence. I know you'll do great.

philip1 (imported) · Post by **philip1 (imported)** » Sun Jul 10, 2005 9:23 am

thanks everyone for your words of encouragement,

Day two at the new job:

today went better than yesterday I didn't get hyperthermic and we got a lot done. I actually drove myself to work and back without getting lost. But this manual labor thing I don't know how long I can do this. I really know that my my lean muscle is going away ugh!!!

philip1 (imported) · Post by **philip1 (imported)** » Mon Jul 11, 2005 9:45 am

can you say major mood swings................................

This message has been eliminated because it would make things worse rather than better.

Robby (imported) · Post by **Robby (imported)** » Mon Jul 11, 2005 10:57 am

my existance has ruined the plans of everyone I have ever been involved with... I wish my mom remembered the pill then I wouldn;t have fucked up every life I have had contact with......Wow Philip,

Is Bubba okay today? Sounds like you're having a bad day.

Life is difficult and there are no easy answers. Tomorrow the sun comes up and we start over again.

Hang in there buddy.

philip1 (imported) · Post by **philip1 (imported)** » Mon Jul 11, 2005 11:16 am

I will be taking some time away from the archive. I know I am emotional now so what I wasn't ever before in my life. Right now I have a lot of stress in my life and I do not need any armchair quarterbacking. right now I just think its best that I be left alone for a while.

philip1 (imported) · Post by **philip1 (imported)** » Thu Jul 14, 2005 7:47 am

OK.....

So in case anyone was paying attention I hate Birthdays I have been depressed 25 out of 32 birthdays and I expect this trend to continue till I am too old to remember that I'm old. I find birthdays to be a horrible reminder that I was tossed upon the earth wrongly equiped and that I am one year closer to death. ugh

I am ok the cursed day has passed I am better but I HATE birthdays.

bobweekend (imported) · Thu Jul 14, 2005 8:08 am

getting castrated/nulloed/etc is a very personal choice. I read about guys done because of their wife/boyfriend/master, etc...

For me I knew the time was right and have no regrets.

Bob

philip1 (imported) · Post by **philip1 (imported)** » Thu Jul 14, 2005 9:26 am

this thread is a documentary about my

philip1 (imported) wrote: Sat Mar 19, 2005 12:41 pm transition from genetic male to

Eunuch/ neutrois I welcome comments but try to keep them on topic otherwise it degrades the origional intent of this thread.

philip1 (imported) · Post by **philip1 (imported)** » Tue Jul 19, 2005 6:52 am

now that I have been free of testosterone for 10 months or so I have noticed some significant loss of muscle strength while supprising it is not anything to panic over as I did expect it going in.

I have a question for the members here and please be honest...

How many here are castrated and are NOT taking any kind of hormones?

I ask as I kind of feel alone in that I have no intention of ever taking them.

bigtwin (imported) · Post by **bigtwin (imported)** » Tue Jul 19, 2005 8:16 am

philip,no hrt for me,but I may try estradiol again if the hot flashes don't slow down soon.[twin]

may172001 (imported) · Wed Jul 20, 2005 6:29 am

philip1 (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 08, 2005 5:50 am It's Thursday April 7th tomorrow morning is surgery and I am actually kind of getting exited. My exitement is more of a releived exitement than just exitement. we had a nice walk arround the city today and man I'm tired. I will need to get to bed early tonight so I will be somewhat awake tomorrow morning. I will attempt to post an update tomorrow afternoon if I feel up to it.

thanks for all your prayers and concern

P.S. I couldn't do this without my best friend Bub

THANKS Bub

You were surgicially castrated at this time so the other months were chemical I guess.

hope your well and enjoying life.

Good luck!

It must have been a hard thing to deal with at the very first and now your very happy!

philip1 (imported) · Post by **philip1 (imported)** » Wed Jul 20, 2005 8:40 am

I was kind of castrated before. In August 2004 I used a home made burdizzo device on my right cord (not recomended) then in September I had my left testis removed by a cutter (again not recomended) 5 weeks later I experienced the withdrawall symptims. April 2005 I had my right testis removed by doctor Kimmel and he also removed the scrotum at the same time. between September and April I was taking androcur. I hope that clears up some questions.

may172001 (imported) · Fri Jul 22, 2005 12:18 pm

Good luck!

philip1 (imported) · Post by **philip1 (imported)** » Sun Jul 24, 2005 4:35 am

today is the worst day I have had yet and its all my fault. Bubba took me to lunch but said he wasn't hungry. when he told me it was because he couldn't afford it I got really upset and started crying and pouting. I could aford it and he didn't accept what I gave him. I hate that I can hurt the one I love so much just by being a pain in the ass. perhaps he'd be better off if I left and let him live his life his way instead of me being a pain all the time. I really don't know what to do. I hate myself for what I've done to Bubba.

philip1 (imported) · Post by **philip1 (imported)** » Mon Jul 25, 2005 12:09 am

Bub an I have reconciled I hate having arguments and we both never want to have another one.

JesusA · Post by **JesusA** » Mon Jul 25, 2005 2:37 am

Any two people who are as close as you two are will inevitably have arguments. The only truly important thing is to FIGHT FAIR. You need to be able to make up after the argument. Disagreements can strengthen your relationship, so long as you can grow beyond them.

That's what love is all about. It's not the "silly, giddy, everything is wonderful all the time", but the growing closer through sharing - including the sharing of differences.

philip1 (imported) · Post by **philip1 (imported)** » Wed Jul 27, 2005 9:57 am

exhausted tired worn out and generally lacking in energy, all those words describe me today. I do put on a good front and look like I'm OK but when I get home ....crash and burn......... even as weak and tired as I feel right now I still won't even considder HRT, I will never go back to the MONSTER I used to be..

Tom Carpenter (imported) · Thu Jul 28, 2005 12:16 am

Phil, I did the same thing you are doing. I said no way am I taking HRT...then at six months post surgery I did, to try and mediate the hot flashes, it didn't work and I did become the "monster" I was before. Then I stopped all HRT, three months later I felt mentally good but I was still soooo exhausted! I am fortunate to be a homemaker, so a boss wasn't an issue. Yet, I found myself sleeping almost all day just like our neutered dogs. Back to HRT I went... but just enough so I can function and I'll skip a few days if I feel to much like my former self. Just my experience. I wish you well in your journey.

philip1 (imported) · Post by **philip1 (imported)** » Fri Jul 29, 2005 12:14 pm

no HRT for me ever I have been sans testosterone for almost 10 months now and I may have less energy than I am used to. I still can function well enough to make it through the day. I am however exhausted at the end of the day. Having an extra few hours of extra energy would be nice but I can live without it. The alternative is too horrible to even consider.

philip1 (imported) · Post by **philip1 (imported)** » Sat Jul 30, 2005 9:29 am

Happiness is:

No uncontrollable rage

No supprises

Being Loved

Realising that you are now the person you dreamt you should be

Being good (I mean DAMN GOOD) at your job

Not being judged by the people arround you

Knowing that the person you love loves you back more even though you love them more

Having brain cycles freed from thoughts of sex

Happiness for me is BEING A EUNUCH!!!!!!

philip1 (imported) · Post by **philip1 (imported)** » Tue Aug 02, 2005 9:05 am

I have a second interview with a custom chopper shop tomorrow I kind of hope I get the job. I currently work as a MIG welder on heavy stuff and I can't lift it any more so lifting exhaust pipes will be a nice change.

philip1 (imported) · Post by **philip1 (imported)** » Fri Aug 05, 2005 10:08 am

29,000 wow I never could have immagined that the little tale about my becoming who I really am would ever get this big. I still have many here to thank for my being alive but most of all I thank my Bubie, Without his diligent watch I would have been dead 8 months ago, I love Bubie with all my heart he truly is my soulmate. I also have to thank many of the regulars on the EA chat there are some really nice people there.

Update on the interview I got the job WOO HOO! I will be building custom harley-davidson's

NOTE: I have no plans on owning one. I am too attatched to life to buy a bike.

philip1 (imported) · Post by **philip1 (imported)** » Mon Aug 08, 2005 5:54 am

I start at the new job tomorrow, I'm just a tad nervous but I think I'll make a positive impression.

An Onymus (imported) · Mon Aug 08, 2005 9:21 am

Philip--

Having once learned to weld with an arc welder myself, I can understand the satisfaction which comes from having done a competent welding job. Never actually was employed as a welder, though.

Just a question. Since you moved from one of the most socially liberal areas of the country to one of the more conservative areas, do you find that, with regard to persons who are aware of your sex condition, there are any discernible differences in people's reactions and general attitudes toward your eunuch status, in North Carolina, as compared to Washington state? My impression about North Carolina is that it is one of the more progressive areas of the South--though I'm not sure that the eunuch sex condition is something that has much to do with liberalism and conservatism, in a social context. Anyway, it would be interesting to get your impressions about this. Of course, I'd expect any differences indicate more about the people around you, than about any differences in your own attitudes in your new location.

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