becoming a eunuch

[philip1 (imported)]

Gentlemen, Ladies, Eunuchs and those unsure I am not leaving the EA I do plan to stick around but this thread has run its course I will start another one at a later time with an apropriate title and at the proper time for further advancements in my life.

[philip1 (imported)]

I have a new thread in the apropriate location in the Archive

[philip1 (imported)]

This post is to let you all know I am still alive I do participate when I feel I can add to a conversation and I think I should update this thread every once in a while.

I am 1 year 10 months and 9 days post op.

I am tired alot I have very little strength anymore and I fear that I may break a bone anytime. That said I am mentally stable I have controll over my temper and I am happy with who I really am. To this day I would not hesitate to do it again if I could go back. I would skip the cutter part but other than that no regrets.

[philip1 (imported)]

It's hard to beleive that just two years has passed it feels like much longer. Many things have happened in my life since april 2005. I fell in love, moved 3000 miles, started a new life, got back into racing cars, and pretty much became the person I wished I was most of my life. I wouldn't change it for the world. This journey from Wild angry monster to calm thoughtful me has been bumpy and it's not over by any stretch but its been an interesting ride and finding myself was worth every bump.

[bobbie (imported)]

Congratulations on your second year. I am sure it must seem like it was far longer then just two years. Good to see that you are adjusting to the changes of eunuch. Think only those that have been castrated can really appreciate just what it is.

[philip1 (imported)]

Here's a few little facts about me... I still have bouts of depression (probably always have) I still have hot flashes, have gained weight, still shave my face once a month (same as before castration), still love Bubba with every fibre in my being, and I am still glad I did what I did.

[Paolo]

Phil,

Thank you for updating us.

Glad to know you are still hanging in there and doing (I hope!) well!

[philip1 (imported)]

TO ANY,

who have read this thread and think "Oh he had it easy" . this journey has been anything but easy it has been hell the mood swings suck the depression nearly killed me on OH LETS SEE 100+ occasions and taking all these pills to prevent osteoporosis is a real drag. If you think it will be all puppies and bunnies your dilusionall it is the hardest thing any person male or female can go through. don't even think its just a quick snip and thats it. and to the MORONS who think "OH I can do this at home with whatever" YOU ARE AN IDIOT. and if after reading all the HELL I went through you still want to do it yourself, Here's a hollow point bullet its quicker. If I offended anyone well GOOD you deserved it because you are one of the IDIOTIC MORONS.

this is a repost from page 15

Now to those who have been there

for me and understand exactly what I mean by the above.............................................

.............................................thank s

because of the support of folks like Paolo Christina LT River and so many more this thread didn't come to an abrupt end. again thanks

[MacTheWolf (imported)]

Phil

I'm not inside your head nor have I gone through what you've experienced eunuch or depression wise, at least not your kind of depression.

Having said that, I still don't see the need to refer to other members of the Archive as "idiots" or "morons."

Just my opinion.

[JesusA]

I'm not inside your head nor have I gone through what you've experienced eunuch or depression wise, at least not your kind of depression.

Having said that, I still don't see the need to refer to other members of the Archive as "idiots" or "morons."

While I may not have used "idiot" or "moron", I can certainly understand where Phil is coming from.

Castration is irreversible and has serious consequences. Anyone who would undertake it voluntarily without thorough study of the side effects and other consequences certainly merits terms such as Phil has used.

The possible (sometimes even fatal) consequences of self-castration or castration by a non-professional also merit such terms, though I would personally have gone with "suicidal" as my choice.

Phil has been there and he clearly knows of what he is speaking.

[philip1 (imported)]

WOW

When this thread was started there was never much expected of it As the years have passed it has grown into the monster it is now. Who would have thought three posts in that that determined and scared guy would spark the interest of so many. thank you to all who have helped and I hope this thread has helped a few make the right choice.

[Atpeace (imported)]

Hi Phil,

I tried going to a lot of urologist, and the ones that didn't laughed me out of their offices, were very offended at me for wanting to be a eunuch...and said I was crazy for even thinking about having that done. finally I decided that I should do it myself. I was successful in removing one of my testicles but I messed up on the the other one and nearly bled to death. I was rush off to a hospital. There, a urologist sewed the testy back together and call me crazy. Even when I pleaded with him to remove it he refused. He told me that I would have to see 2 srinks before he would even concider even talking to me about removing it.

It was like asking him if I could mutilate his child in front of him. And then to make matter worse a lot of the staff there at the hospital treated like a freak.

I even went to Central America, in Nicaragua, and saw a urologist there and even he didn't want to do it. So You didn't have any of that to mess with. Do any of you here know of anyone who would help me remove this last testy. A woman can just say I want to be a eunuch and there doesn't seem to be any problem. I was doing all of this when I was in my 50ties... now I am 67.... and I still have strong Sex drives. I flirt with the Idea of have a girlfriend, but I do not want to have to change to be what they would want me to be like. I am trying to walk the Christian walk, but I have all these urges that seem to pull on me to have sex with every female that even smiles at me.

When I read the Scriptures about eunichs in the Bible, that gave me peace in my heart. I knew then that was what I had to do to find a normalcy in my life....where I could be free from all of these urges.

When I read all of everyone threads here I almost feel at home here with you all. I say almost because I feel little naked here... just telling you / everyone that reads this. Are there any friendly understanding urologist out there? anywhere?

I am At Peace with & in the Truth of Jesus Christ

[kristoff]

Atpeace - go see Kimmel. He'll probably give you a discount for only one.

Also, this thread is essentially a diary for Phil. Perhaps start a separate thread next time to keep his topic on track.

[genderless (imported)]

I'm glad I stumbled onto this much older thread. Thanks for sharing.

[philip1 (imported)]

A few days ago I learmed about the passing of our beloved Matt (lovepain). I feel it is my obligation to once again thank him for his input in this forum and for what he has done in the chatroom. Matt and I have spoken on several occasions about life as a Christian gay eunuch and the subtleties therein. He was and is a good friend I will miss him for now but I look forward to our meeting again on the other side.

God speed Matt.....................

[philip1 (imported)]

I am still alive and kicking. I don't have much time to be on here what with it being race season and all. I am doing well I seem to have adjusted to the eunuch life better than some but I still have the occasional hotflash and mood swing but all in all I'm stable and happy.

[philip1 (imported)]

here's something interesting I have noticed, those who have opted for castration for reasons other than fantasy seem to move on with their lives and eventually find other things take more of their time that was spent here. I find myself in that group, but I feel an obligation to keeping this thread alive and continue the documentation of a male to eunuch transition.

[kristoff]

here's something interesting I have noticed, those who have opted for castration for reasons other than fantasy seem to move on with their lives and eventually find other things take more of their time that was spent here. I find myself in that group, but I feel an obligation to keeping this thread alive and continue the documentation of a male to eunuch transition.

Thank you! I appreciate that sentiment. I feel much the same way in helping to maintain this board/forum - there are others following us, who need to have this. Thanks for sticking with us!

[philip1 (imported)]

I find it interesting that of late I have had my old temper visit on a few occasions. I don't currently take any hormone replacements so the old rage is never there. Perhaps it's just frustration at the situations. I am glad it's not a daily thing like before with ever frightening increases in violence. I am glad that part of me died with my testis.

I have found I still retain my competitive spirit but when I lose I don't get mad I just anylize why I lost. This ahs made me a better competitor I think.

[Sunny (imported)]

All my love to you an Bubba. Honestly. Hope everything is well.

[Monax (imported)]

HI Philip!

Explain to me you or who that another why you swear? Why many of you write about advantage of calmness of the eunuch, but no this calmness have? Whence such intolerance? I would like to know who else except me lives as the true eunuch - without chemistry?

[philip1 (imported)]

I swear when I am angry or frustrated.

I don't know that I have said that I have reached a state of calmness, I have mellowed a little. this is an area where everyone will have different experiences.

I would say I am a true eunuch in that I don't take hormones or anything other than vitamins and calcium. I may have to go on HRT at some point but for the last 2 years since my surgery I have not taken HRT.

[Monax (imported)]

Hi Philip!

My method of struggle against absence Т is very simple: I am engaged in meditation. If for mere mortals years of preparation for true eunuchs the status of a trance and full calmness is reached easily and simply are required.

[Losethem (imported)]

Phil--

I think it would be unreasonable for anyone to expect that your prior aggression would be eliminated completely. However, from what you're describing in your recent threads it seems you have settled into more of a normal situation that other men have. We all get angry from time to time and we go off on our rants.

If one of your races brings you up this way, I'd love to come over and be part of your cheering section.

[philip1 (imported)]

It has been three years since the day in Seattle that changed my life forever.