Sex with Michael Jackson!

[bobov (imported)]

Still, and all, he's such a pretty dishy little nance, it's hard not to savor him just for the purity of his perversions. Had the mainstream not deluded itself, it would be obvious that Michael Jackson is our greatest drag queen since Liberace. The trick is to remold your sexual aesthetics around the remolded person of MJ and his fab outfits! So -

The MJ persona is so soft and gentle and pliable and passive-aggressive, so much the submissive female who gets her way through manipulation, that I can only imagine him, inside his faux-military suits, as having the biggest hairyest smellyest juicyest pair of nuts that you can imagine. And wirey bristley hair on the inside of his thighs that he has to shave to stay sweet for caresses. If only his fans knew what the moon-walking little simp was packing! His penis is trim but decorative, too small to fill a hot dog bun, but peppy like a little yapping shih tzu when he squirts his semen.

And my fantasy - testicular 69 with Michael Jackson. MJ cooing in his soft voice as he slips his lithe thighs around my face and dangles his massive balls over my mouth. I begin to kiss and lick and suckle and chew his big balls - I can't help myself - as he makes small girly sounds. Soon, he's doing the same to me with his glossed lips and surprisingly rough tongue. It goes on and on. Our hands explore buttocks and thighs, but never a penis do they touch. The low but powerful sensuality builds and builds as we both drift into our deepest erotic fantasies, our balls enflaming our passions. Finally, driven by the nameless smut in our minds and the knowing lips on our balls, MJ and I enter a prolonged moaning orgasm. After it's over, MJ and I embrace and look at each other with limpid eyes. Then, I take his gentle hand in mine and bite off the tip of his little finger. MJ screams, and blood sprays, spattering the white sheets. He will never trust again. His love has been betrayed. He will never have the confidence to hurt another child. Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord. But bobov gets to castrate.

[bobov (imported)]

OK, so it's disgusting. It still beats intercourse with a lawn mower.

[Geotarr (imported)]

I would.

[Paolo]

It's really not seemly to criticize some else's fantasy, but...(there's always a 'but' in there!)...

[bobov (imported)]

My attorneys have instructed me to say I have no intentions with regard to Michael Jackson's butt.

"Who would have thought that you could destroy my beautiful wickedness" - The Wicked Witch of the West.

Michael! Don't be offended! Come back, come back! Oh, now you meanies have gone and driven him off. He was the best tongue bath I ever had.

[bobov (imported)]

I can't believe it! Am I the only one here who wants to dress up as a five-year-old, complete with propellor beanie, all-day-sucker, and shorts, and then take a "nap" with Michael and feel his - ungloved! - hand sliding beneath my waistband? I shudder with joy at the thought. Oh well. Each to his own taste.

[bobov (imported)]

Cropped close to the ground. I know what you mean. Oh, to run a roaring power mower across a field of waving genitalia. And Michael's precious winkie-dinkie dead center with a pink ribbon. After that, it could become a hood ornament on a vintage car at Neverland.

[Blaise (imported)]

Somehow, I suspect that a few might enjoy the lawn mower a bit more....

Sometimes, I regret that I never had that homosexual experience. I never met the right moment or person or, maybe, the attraction had limits. Just as well, the people to whom I felt attraction all died long ago from AIDS. However, I adored those people. [I kinda like the guy in the picture left of here--but self-love probably doesn't count as homosexual experience.]

Michael Jackson does not seem real. He is not like the drag queens whom I know from New Orleans. He seems arrested emotionally. He does not seem able to relate to people. I am probably wrong, of course. I do not know the man.

Still, the idea of sex with Michael Jackson seems strange. He seems asexual. The lawn mower would have more feeling, I think.

What kind of lawn mower do you recommend?

[A-1 (imported)]

My attorneys have instructed me to say I have no intentions with regard to Michael Jackson's butt.

Hmmm,

Has anybody seen the Internet porn site where they insert a ball bat?

YES! THOSE TIGHTS! THOSE MOVES! COULD IT BE? IT IS!

It is...BAT BOY (sideways, I hope!)



:shakemitk

A-1

[bobov (imported)]

It seems like I won't have trouble selling tickets for a chartered bus to Neverland.

[Gil (imported)]

SIRIUS News recently reported that MJ has had like eight nose jobs; the first being at age 24. This stems from his Dad calling him "big nose" when he was a kid - it really bugged him.

Just think, if his Dad had called MJ "big dick", he'd be a woman by now.... wait a minute.

[bobov (imported)]

Now Gil, as someone whose avatar is a little rubber ducky, are sure you wouldn't want Michael to initiate you into the mysteries of sex?

Old Softee, the person in your avatar is a certified cutie. If he weren't so busy pruning his hedge, he might be of real use to me. If only Michael knew how to appreciate someone like you, he might be co-hosting a talk show with Ellen DeGeneres now instead of being prosecuted.

[Blaise (imported)]

Now Gil, as someone whose avatar is a little rubber ducky, are sure you wouldn't want Michael to initiate you into the mysteries of sex?

Old Softee, the person in your avatar is a certified cutie. If he weren't so busy pruning his hedge, he might be of real use to me. If only Michael knew how to appreciate someone like you, he might be co-hosting a talk show with Ellen DeGeneres now instead of being prosecuted.

Poor Michael! Thanks. I am choking a chicken (ceramic one) in the picture.

[A-1 (imported)]

Bobov sez...

If only Michael knew how to appreciate someone like you, he might be co-hosting a talk show with Ellen DeGeneres now instead of being prosecuted.

So, the burning question on everyone's mind is....

If Michael Jackson had a sex change and became Ellen DeGeneres' lover, would she still be a Lesbian, or if so, then would this make Michael a Lesbian, too?

You know, this is more confusing than the first Father's Day after my Senior Prom...

A-1

[Dave (imported)]

oh, BOBOV. . .

the thought of even being alone in a room with MJ makes me want to puke.

He is repulsive and revolting and YUCKIE ! ! ! !

The thought of sex with him is infinitely repulsive,

In fact, in the set of MJ repulsivity, there is an infinite number of repulsions...

Think of it philosophically - an infinite number of sets that are infinitely repulsive ...

[A-1 (imported)]

Dave says...

the thought of even being alone in a room with MJ makes me want to puke.

He is repulsive and revolting and YUCKIE ! ! ! !

...maybe so, but the little boys all agree that he does give good head...

GAWD!

Did I say that ?

But HEY! Did you hear that M.J.'s case got thrown out of court yesterday?

It seems that the Paparazzi took pictures of Michael out behind the court house eating a Brownie for lunch...

YES, A-1 TAKE YOUR PUNISHMENT...

A-1

[Gil (imported)]

Thanks. I am choking a chicken (ceramic one) in the picture.

That's a chicken? It has always to me appeard that you were cocking your Glock. A very rich and deep metaphor, thought I, all things considered. I am disappointed both that my eyesight let me down, and my mind would fill in the blanks in so weird a way.

BTW, I really liked your old avatar. It had a haunting, almost other worldly quality to it. But you are better looking than whatever that critter was in the old avatar. And if that were I Glock I thought I saw, almost as haunting.

[Gil (imported)]

Now Gil, as someone whose avatar is a little rubber ducky, are sure you wouldn't want Michael to initiate you into the mysteries of sex?

The ducky is a metaphor for order (ducks in a row) and tranquility (a duck on a pond). The thing has his ass planted on a red wood deck to ensure that neither quality is disturbed by the likes of Michael.

Oh yeah.... did I say no thanks? Make mine a lawn mower!

[A-1 (imported)]

Softee,,,

...this is my weapon, and this is my gun...

...this is for shooting and this is for fun...

You choose.

A-1

[bobov (imported)]

With apologies to Robert Burns for my altered version of his classic poem "My Love is Like a Red, Red Rose" -

My Mike is Like a Red, Red Rose

0, my Mike is like a red, red rose,

that's newly sprung in June.

0, my Mike is like a melody,

that's sweetly play'd in tune.

As fair Mike is, my bonnie lad,

so deep in love am I,

And I will love Mike still, my Mike,

till a' the seas gang dry.

Till a' the seas gang dry, my Mike,

and the rocks melt wi' the sun!

And I will love Mike still, my dear,

while the sands of life shall run.

And fare the weel, my only love!

And fare the well awhile!

And I will come again, my love.

Tho it were ten thousand mile!

[Paolo]

That was no earthquake; it was Burns spinning in his grave.

[Riverwind (imported)]

back to lawn mowers, there are several and many good ones. But I could only pick one, the Briggs and Stratton

What ever MJ gets its not enough, however even if he went to jail, he would still be having a ball or two.

Look at him, and people call us freaks.

[bobov (imported)]

Now Riverwind, your denials fool no one. We all know you secretly desire to bear Michael's next child. Just think of it - swept up in the vortex of Michael's virility! The two of you could wear matching military outfits, moon-walk together, and the paparazzi would trail you to all the chic parties. Then, after the glitter, the two of you could be alone in your private universe, with Michael sharing his comic books and you making him giggle by tickling his thing. Oh, it's to die for!

P.S. In your avatar, you look like Dr. Andrew Weil. Is there any relationship?

P.P.S. You know I'm just kidding, don't you? Really I'll be the one to bear Michael's child - that will be the one with the red 666 birthmark and the cloven hoofs. I trust you'll be the one driving the power mower.