The Fraj & Poor Choices

[Colinwexler (imported)]

I'm wondering if anyone here is in contact with The Fraj. I understand that he regretted his castration. It seems like it would be VERY helpful and educational to hear a first hand account from the other side of the story. We hear so many stories here of guys whose lives have been changed for the better by having the surgery. But as I consider having it done myself, I can't help but hear the little voice in the background saying "Yes, but what if..."

I'm sure the last thing The Fraj wants is to dredge up painful memories, but perhaps he could help save someone from making the same mistake.

[JeffEunuch (imported)]

I'm wondering if anyone here is in contact with The Fraj. I understand that he regretted his castration. It seems like it would be VERY helpful and educational to hear a first hand account from the other side of the story. We hear so many stories here of guys whose lives have been changed for the better by having the surgery. But as I consider having it done myself, I can't help but hear the little voice in the background saying "Yes, but what if..."

I'm sure the last thing The Fraj wants is to dredge up painful memories, but perhaps he could help save someone from making the same mistake.

While the Fraj's story is not on this site, the thread, 'Consequences of Castration', within the Non-Fiction Articles forum contains several personal accounts of the experience of several guys in choosing to be castrated and living with it afterward. Mine is included as well: 'Living Without Balls.'

The good sister is correct. You likely shouldn't proceed if you have any doubts whatsoever. Follow your instinct. You'll know if and when you can live with the results afterwards. That you've provided no information about yourself in your non-profile certainly doesn't help in offering any advice.

[Riverwind (imported)]

I was with thefraj when he was castrated, there was no stopping him, I know I tried. He will agree that in his state of mind nothing was going to stop him. His wake up to reality came about 8 to 10 months later. His family is very suportive and there is one member of the archive that visites him a couple times a year. He is doing ok.

River

[Eunuken (imported)]

I also visited TheFraj a few months after his Castration, at the time he seemed very happy and felt it was the right thing for him to do, I believe it was about 5 to 6 months after when the Reality of what he did set in and things did go from bad to worse.

I know myself I'm at a crossroads with my decision to become a full fledged Eunuch, I have been on Androcur for the past 7 weeks I do like all the results so far.

If I were you I would take a test with the Chemical Castration first to make sure you are happy with the results of that before going under the knife.

[sag111 (imported)]

Thanks for all the good advice here because not everyone should be cut.I am one that castration has been a blessing but by know means look at my experance and think you will be as happy as i am .I will always preach to anyone thinking about this TRY CHEMICAL CASTRATION FIRST for at least 12 monthes or longer as i did 24 monthes.I had a good test drive befor i bought this and i feel i did the right thing but even with this i still take premarin because i needed some hormones and this has given me the calmness i needed.So take care and read all you can on this because you can never put them back once their gone.

[SplitDik (imported)]

People in general always get caught up in the "grass is always greener" mentality, and I suggest that this is the sort of thinking that trips up guys like Fraj.

While we have balls we'll blame our problems on them and feel confident that life would be better without them. When we lose our balls we decide that life would be better with them.

The even worse problem is that testosterone can alter our decision making ability, and lack of testosterone can lead to depression. So it is quite possible to go from an attitude of "just cut them off" to "my life sucks now".

The reality though is that I suspect that life for Fraj would not have been much better if he'd kept his balls. What would he do with them if he had them?

It is possible to live life with balls even if they cause trouble/discomfort. It is possible to live life without balls even if you miss the vigor/agressiveness/horniess they provide. If you're not happy either way then perhaps something else is your problem!

[Eunuken (imported)]

Just to inject a bit of humor here, but I feel it may need to be said, theFraj did keep his balls, I have seen them, they are in a container that you can see on his picture here.

[talula]

The Fraj was heard from today and is doing well. No worries.

tal

[Paolo]

Well, I worry that he can't get Twinkies in his area of the UK.

Is it illegal to import Hostess Twinkies to the UK?

[Eunuken (imported)]

Before I went over to see theFraj in 2002, I did send him a HUGE care package of the things he sampled here in the US when He was here. Not sure why the UK doesn't have Twinkies, Who Knows they could be considered a Bio Hazard?

Ken

[JeffEunuch (imported)]

....

Not sure why the UK doesn't have Twinkies, Who Knows they could be considered a Bio Hazard?

I know they're not to be missed. I haven't had one since I was a kid. Hostess Twinkies aren't available in Canada either. Some companies just choose not to establish sales, etc., abroad. The only way in which I miss them is they they're always at the front of the store in the USA.

[Colinwexler (imported)]

While the Fraj's story is not on this site, the thread, 'Consequences of Castration', within the Non-Fiction Articles forum contains several personal accounts of the experience of several guys in choosing to be castrated and living with it afterward. Mine is included as well: 'Living Without Balls.'

The good sister is correct. You likely shouldn't proceed if you have any doubts whatsoever. Follow your instinct. You'll know if and when you can live with the results afterwards. That you've provided no information about yourself in your non-profile certainly doesn't help in offering any advice.

I did indeed try Androcur for 7 months. I was very happy with the reduction of my overwhelming, painful sex drive (not elimination, despite taking the maximum dose!). But I was utterly dismayed by the loss of strength and muscle mass, the weight gain (all despite maintaining my vigorous exercise program) and the perpetual fatigue. My hope would be that after castration, I could take a limited HRT regime that would find a balance between horniness and sleepiness. I've read posts from several members who've been castrated and then gone on TRT and seem quite happy. My urologist won't recommend surgery (and doubts the HMO would pay anyhow), but admits he doesn't have any other effective solution.

Thus I'm in a quandary.

[JeffEunuch (imported)]

I did indeed try Androcur for 7 months. I was very happy with the reduction of my overwhelming, painful sex drive (not elimination, despite taking the maximum dose!). But I was utterly dismayed by the loss of strength and muscle mass, the weight gain (all despite maintaining my vigorous exercise program) and the perpetual fatigue. My hope would be that after castration, I could take a limited HRT regime that would find a balance between horniness and sleepiness. I've read posts from several members who've been castrated and then gone on TRT and seem quite happy. My urologist won't recommend surgery (and doubts the HMO would pay anyhow), but admits he doesn't have any other effective solution.

Of course the people on this board have been castrated for a number of reasons. Your own motivation is a little clearer. Not very many guys have it done to reduce sex drive and then go on HRT. You're correct to observe that hormones provide energy. A few have done hormones other than testosterone, concluding that hormones of some kind are necessary in at least moderate amounts.

I had it done more for reasons of pain and comfort and had always intended to do an HRT regime at some level. My own experience is that a very intense cardio program - running ~20-30 km/week and cycling ~200-300 km/week - plus some weight-training can be maintained and have been sufficient to see me lose ~25 #s over the past 5 years since losing my balls. My BF recently brought out some old photos to demonstrate that I've successfully lost the love handles that had formed by then.

[JesusA]

Riverwind and I both spoke with TheFraj on the phone yesterday. He's still coming to terms with his mistake, but seems to be doing better. I try to talk with him a couple of times a month. His family is very supportive and he has good friends around.

[An Onymus (imported)]

Interesting to speculate whether, had the Fraj required the surgery for cancer, or had the organs been lost in an accident, he would have adapted more positively to the situation. My impression is that, for most who, like Mr. Wassersug, have had orchiectomy for urgent medical reasons, the adaptation to living without gonads is usually made more or less without a lot of angst--probably because the alternative would have been fatal. A lot of the way people think about their reproductive organs, is a matter of psychology rather than of reality.

I don't actually know much about the Fraj, but, since he seems intelligent and is moving forward toward some well defined personal goals, he will probably eventually see the surgery in a different perspective, and look on it as a relatively minor part of the much larger matter of living a full and meaningful life. Intellectuals can usually find a way of dealing with things which turns apparent setbacks to advantage. I could tell you a long story about that sort of process.

[Eunuchist (imported)]

Riverwind and I both spoke with TheFraj on the phone yesterday. He's still coming to terms with his mistake, but seems to be doing better. I try to talk with him a couple of times a month. His family is very supportive and he has good friends around.

I remember you've mentioned previously the possibility of putting Fraj on HRT.

Did it work out, and what changes were observed?

[Riverwind (imported)]

Just to inject a bit of humor here, but I feel it may need to be said, theFraj did keep his balls, I have seen them, they are in a container that you can see on his picture here.

YES he did and so did I. In my collection of pictures I do have a couple that are of the fraj and me holding our sets and another with them next to each other.

Yes Jesus and I did talk to thefraj the other day, I think he is going to be just fine. He and I will be in touch.

Riverwind

[thefraj (imported)]

It's been a while everyone, and I do apolgise. Everyone here has been a wonderful support, and this is truely a wonderful community to be able to belong.

It's hard to describe the emotional impact of recieving the cut. Often the body becomes gentle and emotionally fragile. Depression can often creap in if you don't take care. (Which I didn't!). But of course there are wonderful changes in the body too; reduce sexual urges, a feeling peace and serenity when if you listen carefully to your body.

For me, the biggest issue was Identity. I wasn't male, but I'm definitely not female. Remember, if you have the cut you are no longer male - and need to be prepared for how you will deal with this when interacting with society at large. (especially a lovely lady you may have chance to meet in a bar!)

Asking these questions lead me to the Transexual forums, people there are lovely and supportive, just as the people here are. But what is amazing is just how much we share in common: we both look in the mirror and are not happy at the extra apendage(s). Both feel that testosterone is poisoning our perfect body and creating annoying urges.

After a lot of talking, finally, I know exactly what I am; what a few here may be perhaps. Neither and both at the same time. We might very well be the Third Gender; the thin line between Yin and Yang. Not easily classifiable in terms of behaviour.

You can take the COGIATI test (HERE (http://transsexual.org/cgi-bin/cgitest.exe?) ) which is industry standard for identifying (and separating) Transexuals, Transvestites and other gender dysphoric syndromes.

I suspect many (like me) will probably be diagnosed as "Androgenous" in behaviour. You will have female charateristics and male ones, in no particular preference.

[If anyone else takes this test, I would be very interested to hear the results! ]

And that's what I feel I am. A gentle male. I look and behave male with people, because it is easiest understood for someone who doesn't know me.

I've come to accept that I'm more female inside than I look outside. But that's alright. This is how I'm meant to be.

Like one transexual says on her website:

We are wonderful people! In history, we have been World Leaders, honoured citizens of asian empires, treasured possessions of the Roman Empire, holy beings able to give blessings to marriages in India, and EVEN survived the smouldering kilns of Auschwitz. We are very special.

We are still here! And it's wonderous!