Somewhat of an odd request

[Present-Square-3763]

Hello, I have a somewhat unusual request, my parents are convinced that by getting surgery I am permanently ruining my life and in their eyes, surgery = suicide. Along with some other strange belifes they have regarding all of this.

I told them that I could ask some post op people if they would like to share their experience, parents agreed.

If anyone would be willing to communicate with my parents (it could be over text chat in discord) and share their experience regarding all of this I would be very thankful.

edit: forgot to add this, but I know that some people have different reasons for getting surgery, ideally I think that it would be better if my parents spoke to someon in a similar situation as me, who got surgery due to dysphoria

edit2: here's my discord alt account: fweojuhfwehfwehfwehfwekjfsdbfksb
the name is random cuz it was meant to be used as a throwaway account
if you would like to use some other way of communicationg you could private message me your email or whatever you prefer to use

thank you very much

[WheelyFixed]

I might be willing, though I don't do Discord because IMHO it has serious privacy issues as a platform. Email, Jitsi, and possibly other platforms that are more privacy / secure might an option.

WheelyFixed

[Present-Square-3763]

could you pls private message me your email

[puck_]

There are many people who have had non-binary or gender-atypical surgeries that are sharing their stories now. One good resource is https://bottomsurgery.info/, created by the nullo borgpup (pronouns: it/its). In the thorough and candid "1-Year Post-Op Nullo Q&A," borgpup describes its feelings as such:

...I wouldn't trade this for anything. Every morning when I wake up and see my body as it should be, I feel a profound sense of rightness that makes all the difficulties worthwhile. Living authentically in the body that truly represents me brings a joy that outshines every obstacle I've faced. The freedom I feel now is indescribable—it's like finally being able to breathe after holding my breath for 37 years.

Or, as it sums up: "yeeting my nuts into the void was the best decision I've ever made."

On the same site, there's a link to a "Dickless Men Roundtable" podcast with several other nullos and a man with a pussy. None of the people on the podcast regret the actions they took to attain bodies that felt like them.

I fear, however, that you're trying to use logic and evidence to combat a belief that your parents hold for reasons other than logic or evidence. Like, it isn't news that the vast, vast, vast majority of people who seek to have gender-affirming surgery do not regret the decision, and yet your parents still seem to think that such a thing is not only common but assured. If they believe that in spite of the available evidence, presenting them with evidence to the contrary may not sway them.

[WheelyFixed]

I agree that both of those sites you mention are great resources Puck, but I'm not sure they would be a great choice for pointing Present-Square's parents at... I may be reading between the lines, but it sounds like his parents are on the conservative / conventional side of things.

OTOH, while I don't personally have any issues with it (though not my thing) Borgpup and the DMRT guys seem to fall pretty far on the extreme side of 'non-standard' practices... As such while their being happy with their surgeries is very apparent, I suspect that the parents would be very bothered by the rest of their presentation.

I think the parents would be more comfortable w/ folks that are more 'standard' in their bedroom activities, and possibly pointing at some of the known and suspected 'historical eunuchs' to show that getting fixed doesn't mean 'being ruined' other than not getting called 'Daddy'...

WheelyFixed

[Present-Square-3763]

for context, I have another post where I explain things more in detail, but I almost had surgery at MTC in march, parents found where I was and somehow got dr aguilar to cancel my surgery. I was not refunded.
dad then made me a promise that if he didn't manage to "cure" me in a year he would cover the surgery out of his pocket.
I reminded him that it's been almost a year and he want back to rambling about how this will ruin my life, I will be single forever, ...
I personally don't care what he thinks, but it would be nice if he returned me the money I spent last time on trying to get surgery, and unless I manage to convince him that surgery is not life ruining as he claims, then he likely will not return me the money.

[Godson]

for context, I have another post where I explain things more in detail, but I almost had surgery at MTC in march, parents found where I was and somehow got dr aguilar to cancel my surgery. I was not refunded.
dad then made me a promise that if he didn't manage to "cure" me in a year he would cover the surgery out of his pocket.
I reminded him that it's been almost a year and he want back to rambling about how this will ruin my life, I will be single forever, ...
I personally don't care what he thinks, but it would be nice if he returned me the money I spent last time on trying to get surgery, and unless I manage to convince him that surgery is not life ruining as he claims, then he likely will not return me the money.

I don’t know your home life but he has crossed legal hard lines in both his intervention resulting in canceled surgery as well as your out of pocket costs.

Therefore, he has opened himself up to be a fair target for legal action - such as either a court injunction, or a lien on his house (your family home).

Maybe if logic, reason, compassion, and plain old integrity towards a family member don’t motivate him to do the right thing, then maybe a caution, reminder, or phone call from a lawyer might wake him up and help get a refund, and change the conversation with him…?

[WheelyFixed]

In theory you are right, at least as I understand US and Canadian law... Unfortunately PresentSquare is in Spain, and may not have the same legal protections... Given what he is wanting done, there is also the question of convincing the legal system that Dad is actually doing something wrong in trying to 'save' his son from making a live ruining choice....

Remember the old one about the lawyer gets a call from client asking him about some legal situation - Lawyer says "Don't worry they can't arrest you for that" - Client response, "I'm calling you from jail..." Sometimes the reality is different from the legal theory...

WheelyFixed

[Godson]

Granted I don’t know where he’s from, or his age.

Re: age, I’m assuming that if he was able to go far enough through the medical system without to get to an actual surgery date without his parents finding out, then logically he is old enough to no longer require guardianship or parental consent. It would be impossible for him to get through so many of the systematic “gates” otherwise.

I’m presuming that the parent interceded with a (false?) plea based on a mental health/personal harm argument.

I’m projecting that because I’ve witnessed that happening in my own family where my over zealous/righteous father called the police on my adult sister, already living on her own (single - no kids involved), for her cannabis possession back in dark ages of “war on drugs.”

And in terms of “legality,” it’s only offered in the spirit of clarifying for the poster that his parent’s actions are indeed serious - serious enough that (depending on the laws of the nation) they would have tangible consequences, and that if someone won’t listen to reason; and is so blatantly disrespectful of individual sovereignty and boundaries; then maybe they need a “hard” reminder to motivate a change in behaviour…

[WheelyFixed]

If you go back to his earlier threads, he states that he is of age. I think the big question is how much law there is on his side in his country...

WheelyFixed