Is my b/f trying to tell me something?

[industry7 (imported)]

I should probably start with a little background first. To begin with I'm not really interested in castration. The way that I originally found this website was that my b/f and I were having a difficult time with our sex life. Basically he never wanted to have sex, for several months straight. After trying to talk through it and trying to be patient and having to deal with increasing sexual frustration for months, I started to get desperate. I started to look on the internet for something that I could take that would lower my sex drive. That eventually lead me to chemical castration drugs and this website. So that's how I found this place. Now since then, our sex life has improved quite a bit and I think it's back to normal for the most part.

So I can finally get to what happened today. We were talking about penis pumps and then about using pumps on the scrotum. We got to talking about balls, and my b/f has mentioned before that he doesn't think balls are particularly hot. Like for me, penis size isn't a big deal, but large balls are super hot, but for him it's the other way around. Well then today, he took that a step further and said that not only did he not think that balls were hot, he said they were kind of gross, and that he didn't really like his balls, and that it wouldn't really bother him if he didn't have them anymore.

Now when I type that it screams at me WARNING! But maybe I'm just blowing things out of proportion. I've read online (here and on random gay themed websites) about guys that want to become castrated. I've never been able to really understand this, aside from the perspective of lowering sex drive. But what I'm wondering about and worried about is, is my b/f trying to tell me that he wants to be castrated?

The thing is that the subject of castration has also come up before, and looking back I wonder now if he was trying to drop hints, or maybe just gauge my reaction before he said anything. Actually there was the perfect example... my b/f is part of this live journal community where everyone just post pics of their junk. Simple. Well this one day, a eunuch posted pics of himself, and my b/f told me about and showed me the pics and afterward he was like, "well, what do you think of it?" I didn't even know what to say, what was I supposed to think of it?

Am I just blowing this out of proportion or is my b/f trying to tell me something? I'm a little worried b/c I don't know if I can be supportive of something like this (sorry guys). But I don't know what to do. Do I just wait until he brings it up again? He's somehow managed to bring it up twice in the past week, which is why the warning light suddenly popped on in my head. I need some help here.

[kristoff]

I should probably start with a little background first. To begin with I'm not really interested in castration. The way that I originally found this website was that my b/f and I were having a difficult time with our sex life. Basically he never wanted to have sex, for several months straight. After trying to talk through it and trying to be patient and having to deal with increasing sexual frustration for months, I started to get desperate. I started to look on the internet for something that I could take that would lower my sex drive. That eventually lead me to chemical castration drugs and this website. So that's how I found this place. Now since then, our sex life has improved quite a bit and I think it's back to normal for the most part.

So I can finally get to what happened today. We were talking about penis pumps and then about using pumps on the scrotum. We got to talking about balls, and my b/f has mentioned before that he doesn't think balls are particularly hot. Like for me, penis size isn't a big deal, but large balls are super hot, but for him it's the other way around. Well then today, he took that a step further and said that not only did he not think that balls were hot, he said they were kind of gross, and that he didn't really like his balls, and that it wouldn't really bother him if he didn't have them anymore.

Now when I type that it screams at me WARNING! But maybe I'm just blowing things out of proportion. I've read online (here and on random gay themed websites) about guys that want to become castrated. I've never been able to really understand this, aside from the perspective of lowering sex drive. But what I'm wondering about and worried about is, is my b/f trying to tell me that he wants to be castrated?

The thing is that the subject of castration has also come up before, and looking back I wonder now if he was trying to drop hints, or maybe just gauge my reaction before he said anything. Actually there was the perfect example... my b/f is part of this live journal community where everyone just post pics of their junk. Simple. Well this one day, a eunuch posted pics of himself, and my b/f told me about and showed me the pics and afterward he was like, "well, what do you think of it?" I didn't even know what to say, what was I supposed to think of it?

Am I just blowing this out of proportion or is my b/f trying to tell me something? I'm a little worried b/c I don't know if I can be supportive of something like this (sorry guys). But I don't know what to do. Do I just wait until he brings it up again? He's somehow managed to bring it up twice in the past week, which is why the warning light suddenly popped on in my head. I need some help here.

Why not just confront the issue directly? Ask him. If the trust and value of the relationship is there, the issue should be available for discussion, regardless of the comfort levels.

[IbPervert (imported)]

You could allow your b/f to catch you looking at the EA.

[Batman (imported)]

It could be he's just expressing an asthetic preference. Howerver I agree with the Red Nun just ask him...

Batman

[raymar2020 (imported)]

Surprisingly large numbers of men are not crazy about having balls. They get in the way, you sit on them, they stick to your thigh ,and other parts in warm weather. All in all, the placement of such a sensitive part is really rather poor design.

I have learned over the years, that lots of men(especially gay men) would cheerfully give up having them, not because castration is such a turn on, but that the idea of not having those not so attractive appendages hanging there is the turn on.

I am friendly with a half dozen men who chose to have them removed, for aesthetic reasons, not as some grand part of the whole eunuch culture. They identify as male, not eunuch, and just chose to no longer have balls, as some men choose to be circumcised rather than keep their foreskin.

Have a frank and honest discussion with your b/f about this, and then you must decide , if he really would prefer to be without them, can you accept that? One guy I know, was castrated, and his b/f was not so pleased in the beginning. A couple years later, the same b/f decided that he too was ready , and off they came. They use HRT and have a very active sex life.

More than anything, you must come to terms with this in your relationship. If your partner really wants to lose his balls, and it will make him happy, who are you to hold him back from that? You might just find that it would make your relationship even stronger.

Keep us posted about your situation.

Raymar

[nonuts (imported)]

Surprisingly large numbers of men are not crazy about having balls. They get in the way, you sit on them, they stick to your thigh ,and other parts in warm weather. All in all, the placement of such a sensitive part is really rather poor design.

I have learned over the years, that lots of men(especially gay men) would cheerfully give up having them, not because castration is such a turn on, but that the idea of not having those not so attractive appendages hanging there is the turn on.

I am friendly with a half dozen men who chose to have them removed, for aesthetic reasons, not as some grand part of the whole eunuch culture. They identify as male, not eunuch, and just chose to no longer have balls, as some men choose to be circumcised rather than keep their foreskin.

Have a frank and honest discussion with your b/f about this, and then you must decide , if he really would prefer to be without them, can you accept that? One guy I know, was castrated, and his b/f was not so pleased in the beginning. A couple years later, the same b/f decided that he too was ready , and off they came. They use HRT and have a very active sex life.

More than anything, you must come to terms with this in your relationship. If your partner really wants to lose his balls, and it will make him happy, who are you to hold him back from that? You might just find that it would make your relationship even stronger.

Keep us posted about your situation.

Raymar

Very well said!!!

If you love your boyfriend why would you care? What if he got testicular cancer and they were removed, would you reject him for being nutless?

Remember you too were here not that long ago looking into the same thing, just for different reasons. Best wishes to you both, in your relationship individual contentment is critical.

[Batman (imported)]

Surprisingly large numbers of men are not crazy about having balls. They get in the way, you sit on them, they stick to your thigh ,and other parts in warm weather. All in all, the placement of such a sensitive part is really rather poor design.

The design is good for keeping Sperm alive. The testicles can't be at body temperature for things to go swimmingly (as it were).

You have friends who just had them removed for aesthetic reasons? Did they do it via Doctors and proper conditions? It's not supposed to be all that easy..

Batman

[nonuts (imported)]

So the design is a "fix" for a faulty design? Why wasn't sperm just made more hardy to withstand the internal temperatures of the body? I always love this "design" theory, but to me it really seems as though it was a fix for a mistake.

[curious1 (imported)]

I agree with the other posters, you really have nothing to lose by just asking.

[Batman (imported)]

So the design is a "fix" for a faulty design? Why wasn't sperm just made more hardy to withstand the internal temperatures of the body? I always love this "design" theory, but to me it really seems as though it was a fix for a mistake.

[shrug] You'd have to ask Darwin or Himself for the answer to that one. I was just being scientifical

Batman

[industry7 (imported)]

If you love your boyfriend why would you care? What if he got testicular cancer and they were removed, would you reject him for being nutless?

To me that's different. See I don't think I would be very supportive if he wanted a nose-job, or if a female friend of mine wanted breast implants. Maybe castration also has some functional benefit (eunuch lifestyle or simply not sitting on them) but I think that cosmetic surgery in general legitimizes our western obsession with an arbitrary culturally defined body image which is unrealistic, often unhealthy, and almost always unobtainable.

Does that make any sense?

[kristoff]

To me that's different. See I don't think I would be very supportive if he wanted a nose-job, or if a female friend of mine wanted breast implants. Maybe castration also has some functional benefit (eunuch lifestyle or simply not sitting on them) but I think that cosmetic surgery in general legitimizes our western obsession with an arbitrary culturally defined body image which is unrealistic, often unhealthy, and almost always unobtainable.

Does that make any sense?

It makes sense on one end of a continuum. Give the other end some credence as well. Sometimes body image is a crucial element in well-being , psychologically, and its beneficial effects upon physical health as well (never mind the sometimes ill-effects). Fully a third of the folks at the EA express a desire to be rid of some or all of their bits in direct relation to "cosmetic" or "body-image" issues (read BIID, among other things), which is no less legitimate as a concern than libido or others, notwithstanding "obsessions" derived from any of the reasons folks proffer for castration. Sometimes the best cure for a situation stares us in the face despite our best efforts at being horrified by it.

[Hash (imported)]

If he's brought the subject up twice in the past week, he certainly has thoughts about castration. He might just be fantasizing about it, but it must be something he likes. As stated, ask him about it. Some men just fantasize about castration and do so for years & years. Others, like me, had to have our testicles removed. Hash

[nonuts (imported)]

[shrug] You'd have to ask Darwin or Himself for the answer to that one. I was just being scientifical

Batman

Certainly wasn't intending to insult your comment Batman. Just expressing a point of view on the whole theory of why they are hanging out there. Personally, I think it's as likely they were intended to be vulnerable. Dunno...always fun to speculate though.

[nonuts (imported)]

To me that's different. See I don't think I would be very supportive if he wanted a nose-job, or if a female friend of mine wanted breast implants. Maybe castration also has some functional benefit (eunuch lifestyle or simply not sitting on them) but I think that cosmetic surgery in general legitimizes our western obsession with an arbitrary culturally defined body image which is unrealistic, often unhealthy, and almost always unobtainable.

Does that make any sense?

It makes sense because it's how you feel and what you believe. There can be many reasons for guys to desire castration, including yes aesthetics. I think my point is more about an environment where your BF can be comfortable to be open and honest with you. I am sure if your opinions are well known to him, and he FEELS your mind is closed on the subject he's not at all likely to discuss it with you. And even if you ask him, I don't necessarily think he'll answer honestly, he fears loosing you and the relationship, he could lie to you about it forever to protect it, but will he be happy?

[mrt (imported)]

I had a long talk about Body Image when I discussed my desire for implants after my Orchiectomy. My GP said that women take a lot of heat for wanting "cosmetic" surgery to enhance their appearance but its still "valid" to want to improve your looks if its of value to your self.

Men have not been as "active" doing that but its no less valid.

The important thing is to not have anyone carving on you if its not important to you. Or with your BF if he does it for someone else? Thats probably a poor idea.

It makes sense on one end of a continuum. Give the other end some credence as well. Sometimes body image is a crucial element in well-being , psychologically, and its beneficial effects upon physical health as well (never mind the sometimes ill-effects). Fully a third of the folks at the EA express a desire to be rid of some or all of their bits in direct relation to "cosmetic" or "body-image" issues (read BIID, among other things), which is no less legitimate as a concern than libido or others, notwithstanding "obsessions" derived from any of the reasons folks proffer for castration. Sometimes the best cure for a situation stares us in the face despite our best efforts at being horrified by it.

[plix (imported)]

I have been a part of the eunuch community for several years now. Even after all this time, there are a number of reasons members have given for castration that I do not understand or approve of. However, what I do understand is that it makes sense to them. Just because it does not make sense to me does not mean it does not have validity. We are all different and see the world differently. You do not have to understand or accept your boyfriend's reasons for castration, but as long as you understand that it makes sense to him, then you can communicate a lot better about it.

[industry7 (imported)]

It makes sense because it's how you feel and what you believe.

Maybe I should have asked, "Does that make sense to everyone else?" Or maybe I didn't explain myself very well?

Anyway, I did ask him about it today. I tried to be as casual as possible and made sure he understood that I would be supportive, and asked him more than once to make sure and he said he really didn't want them gone. I asked him specifically about when he said the other day about not minded if he never had balls. He said that what he meant was that he'd rather that humans in general had been made without balls, b/c he thinks they look gross on all guys, but that since we do have them he wouldn't want to change anything about his body.

So I'm pretty sure that he wasn't lying or trying to cover anything up, and it ended up not being a big deal. I'm glad I just asked directly.

[JeffEunuch (imported)]

I find your intelligence from other gay men interesting. While the motivation for having my own balls severed was partly medical, I've also found it extremely comfortable and even aesthetically pleasing. I still also identify as a man - the reason my signature is just 'ballless.' I'm also lucky to have a partner that thoroughly accepts my balllessness. The base of y cock where the balls used to be attached has become one of my most erotic areas, quite different than before I was castrated, and I couldn't stand the area being touched.

Surprisingly large numbers of men are not crazy about having balls..... I have learned over the years, that lots of men(especially gay men) would cheerfully give up having them, not because castration is such a turn on, but that the idea of not having those not so attractive appendages hanging there is the turn on..........I am friendly with a half dozen men who chose to have them removed, for aesthetic reasons, not as some grand part of the whole eunuch culture. They identify as male, not eunuch, and just chose to no longer have balls, as some men choose to be circumcised rather than keep their foreskin.......If your partner really wants to lose his balls, and it will make him happy, who are you to hold him back from that? You might just find that it would make your relationship even stronger.