I have a brother!!!!!

[XxEunuchEmoBoyxX (imported)]

My parents told me the other day I have a brother it was first they knew of it as well, my dad donated sperm for money and the boys mum died and he is basically next of kin, he is blind and scared, he is 13, when would be a good time to tell him of my castration, he will most likely ask why my voice is like a girls. Any suggestions???

-Loki

[kennath7 (imported)]

That's a good question

I would get to know him better and if the necessity came up then tell him

Do you feel he needs to know now then tell him when you feel

Comfortable with him to tell him

[tugon (imported)]

At his age I would wait until he asks. When he is curious enough to ask he will probably be ready for the answer. For the present you might want to focus on him and help him adapt to his new home.

Oh and congratulations on having a brother!

[gandalf (imported)]

I agree with Tugon. Get acquainted forst and thne as he acclimate to his new situation, and he becomes more at home only then when he starts asking questions should you answer him. Be truthful, but don't push the subjects (the envelope as we say) and only give him what he asks for. there will probably come a time when he can accept the inforoation about you but let HIM ask the questions. No need volunteering information he probably can't absorb yet.

BTW congratulations on the brother even if it is a surprise.

[XxEunuchEmoBoyxX (imported)]

At his age I would wait until he asks. When he is curious enough to ask he will probably be ready for the answer. For the present you might want to focus on him and help him adapt to his new home.

Oh and congratulations on having a brother!

Thank Tugon, he arrives on Monday, hope he is nice and ill just leave it till he asks, my parents are kinda exited and sad about the whole that they got a son. Sad because his mum died . Ill keep you updated. Thanks.

-Loki

[Dave (imported)]

Wow, good luck with your new brother. I hope it works out for your family.

Remember, It's a huge adjustment for all involved. Don't anticipate much of anything. It's all going to be both right and wrong all at once.

[Paolo]

You're lucky in that you have a little brother.

I'd take the approach of "don't tell if he don't ask." That is going to be TOO much for him with the adaptations he's going to have to face now. He's also going to need a lot of attention in adjusting.

Just take it all slow and easy and keep an open mind - which should come easy for ya'll.

[punkypink (imported)]

Maybe, just maybe hes young enough that he wouldn't find it unusual.

I find that kids tend to be more accepting of the unusual, until the social conditioning gets to them. So if he isnt um, conditioned yet, and grows up around u guys then maybe he wouldn't be like other conventional people and find anything weird about it.

[hdlss_hrsmn (imported)]

If pressed to say something, you could just say it's a hormone problem and leave it at that for now. There may be a time when you wish to explain but it is probably not necessary right now.

[Jean Op den Kamp (imported)]

My parents told me the other day I have a brother it was first they knew of it as well, my dad donated sperm for money and the boys mum died and he is basically next of kin, he is blind and scared, he is 13, when would be a good time to tell him of my castration, he will most likely ask why my voice is like a girls. Any suggestions???

-Loki

As he is blind, it will not do to just look him in the eyes.

Did you already find out, how powerful your mind can be. Trust on yourself and unselfish love for him. Proberly, when you want to tell, it will feel like he has always know it.

Use the love in your mind and you will solve this problem.

I will keep you and your problem on my mind, so if any time you feel in need of some extra power, it will be there for you, trust me.

LoveU

J***

[jemagirl (imported)]

Loki,

Speaking as a life long passenger on the short bus, I have generally found that people who have a disability tend to be more accepting of differences in other people. Of course I am sure there are exceptions, but there is no good to come from worrying about it ahead of time.

If you are comfortable with who you are other people will tend to be as well. You shouldn't feel obliged to give an account of yourself before you have even been asked, and it is always up to you how much personal information you wish to share. If and when you decide to share this with your brother or anyone else always do in a way that honors your own spirit.

Biggest Hugggs

Jema

[NicholasUK (imported)]

Dear Loki,

What a curious combination of circumstances you find yourself in!

The first priority you and your dads will have to meet is to make your brother feel loved and wanted - and at home. Presumably the poor kid will still be grieving for his dead mother and to be suddenly inserted into a household of strangers will be bewildering to say the least. He'll feel hurt, lost and cut off from all that's familiar - no wonder he's scared!

Given time he will undoubtedly ask about your voice, and that time may be sooner than later. He may well ask one of your dads before asking you so it would be as well to agree among yourselves just what and how much you initially want to tell him.

All I would say is that when he does ask, talk about it in a matter of fact way. As others have suggested, you needn't tell him the 'how and the why' until you feel the time is right. Besides, as jemagirl said, you might find that having a disability himself he may be more accepting of your own little difference. You must talk all this through with your dads.

You're all facing major adjustments that will entail excitement, difficulties, stress and hopefully joy. I do wish you all well!

Regards, NicholasUK.

[IbPervert (imported)]

Loki,

It depends on your brothers frame of mind and his religious and political outlook to life.

You could play...I feel you then you feel me!

In all seriousness if your brother accepts your two fathers then he should accept your not having two extra brains between your legs. However, only tell him what he needs to know, and that means do not volunteer information (information like how you castrated yourself).

You could always have your new brother post a question(s) to the forum if he has questions, but you will have to censor the responses.

[Jean Op den Kamp (imported)]

Loki,

You could always have your new brother post a question(s) to the forum if he has questions, but you will have to censor the responses.

When the time is there and the little one has questions, I think you just offered a great idea

I'm going to have you some credit for that, little on the board, lot in my mind

[balletkyle (imported)]

Loki,

You have recieved a lot of good advice in the posts to this thread. My adivce is for you to be patient and to follow your heart. You will know when it is time to explain to your brother about your soft voice. That time may come quickly or it may never come. I would not worry about it at this time, there are more important issues at hand to settle first. Your brother has experienced some major life changes, and is now facing more changes in his life. Just listen, be attentive, offer support, and let him relax so he can ajust to the recent changes in his life. Don't forget that your life is also about to change, you have your own fears to sort out as well. That is were this forum can help you.

Good luck

Kyle

[IbPervert (imported)]

Loki,

A thought crossed my mind...yeah i know that can be dangerous...

Often times when younger people ask what seems to be a complicated question but in reality they just want a simple answer.

Example - Where do baby's come from?

Does not mean the child wants the full explanation of how it happens, but something simple like "from mothers tummy!"

Example - How does the baby get in their?

a man and women have a special moment together...not had I had sex with your mother and this is how its done.

So in your case, if your brother asks "Why is your voice so soft?"

Your best answer would be something like because it just is! or maybe even toss a question back like...."Why are you blind? because that is the way you are!"

Just do not be so quick to give out more information then your brother can handle with some level of machurity. However, at the same time you do not want him finding out at school from a classmate that his brother does not any balls either. Though I doubt you and your parents go around town broadcasting that Loki is a eunuch, but even a child of one of your parents friends could acidently spilll the beans.

Also, do not forget that an omission is not a lie, and that you are much older then your brother is and have a different perspective then him. If in doubt talk to your two fathers.

Just some thoughts

[Jean Op den Kamp (imported)]

Hi Loki,

Just to show you what I promissed you.....

problems on an other tread won't make me forget, YOU ARE GOING TO MEET HIM

I will keep you on a very special place on my mind today, hope it gives you a good feeling

Don't worry, its a save and nice place I keep for you, and He is with you, nothing on earth can disturb this

with my full love

J***

[devi (imported)]

It's weird when you find out you have another family member and never even knew it before. I know this girl in town who could very well be my half sister(actually three-quarter sister from a cousin) but I know something is up but only a great wall of silence. There are a couple of dead give-aways. But still I know nothing.

[XxEunuchEmoBoyxX (imported)]

He is here and he is great, for someone who is blind he is good at table tennis he beat me loads, he loves films we took him cinema today he has loads of dvd's, I have not told him that im a eunuch ill tell if he asks or when its a good time. Thanks everyone.

-Loki

[kennath7 (imported)]

thats great

good luck

[tugon (imported)]

Loki I am glad all is going well. Sounds like you two will be brothers and friends.

[Jean Op den Kamp (imported)]

He is here and he is great, for someone who is blind he is good at table tennis he beat me loads, he loves films we took him cinema today he has loads of dvd's, I have not told him that im a eunuch ill tell if he asks or when its a good time. Thanks everyone.

-Loki

Lucky Loki

Wasn't that a cartoon

Oh no that was Lucky Luke

Best wishes

Jean

[punkypink (imported)]

He is here and he is great, for someone who is blind he is good at table tennis he beat me loads, he loves films we took him cinema today he has loads of dvd's, I have not told him that im a eunuch ill tell if he asks or when its a good time. Thanks everyone.

-Loki

Thats great to know

[streetglide (imported)]

I have one also! We got him an 1967, he threw up in the new 67 Cutlass on the way home. He's gotten car sick ever since....you want him too? Lots of days I'd like to kill him...he might be safer with you!

[automatthew (imported)]

congrats on the brother. I have always wanted a brother. M-