How old were you when you understood what was castration ?

[attis]

I was about 6 when...

[Bidragonmaster]

Probably 8 or 9 when I had to catch piglets for dad to cut them. Spring time was holding the calves down while Dad used the burdizzo. Discovered my sadist side in highschool so castration was a natural addition over the years.

[fusion]

I was about 6 when I learnt what castration was, my family had just bought a kitten and dad wanted it desexed.

[globot06]

i understand your feelings i do enjoy another man having hold of my balls not knowing what comes next but where i live castration is virtually impossible to have done

[Friotler7]

I think I know about it since 8. But I developed a fetish for it when I by 13. I saw the terrific scene of "I spit in your grave", where she crushes Her violator's balls in a vice. After that, I started searching for the subject and fantasizing about it, but always having it in the back of my mind.

[Pup4dad]

Probably around my late teens. It isn't talked about much, so I never realised

[photoglenn]

Being that I am now nearly 78 years of age, I have no recollection (aka "memory") of when I first learned about the meaning of castration.

During the puberty years, long before there was an internet, and books in the library had very scant information about the cause and effect of puberty, or any connection to testosterone, once I learned the connection, and that the testosterone in my balls was contributing to my emotional distress of puberty, it was at that point when I wished they were gone.

I had no intent or desire to have them removed, aka "castration", but I just wished they were gone so I could be released from puberty purgatory.

This memory stayed with me for a lifetime.

My first experience with low testosterone was after my balls experience a serious bacterial infection that became inflamed and extremely painful.

There is a medical term for what it was, but it was serious enough that I felt like my balls were being squeezed all day long.

Eventually the antibiotic kicked in and the infection, and pain subsided.

It was at that time that Testosterone Gel was prescribed, as my balls were apparently so damaged by the infection that they stopped producing testosterone.

A couple of years later, they became infected again, possibly from a urinary backflow and not an STD.

They were not as painful this time, and another 2 weeks of antibiotic was performed.

After this second infection my balls got very small, very hard, and when squeezed, they experienced no pain.

I left it at that for a couple of years, infertile, no testosterone, but did experience a normal lust for sex, and ability to perform.

However, I started to get groin pain, not testicle pain, and it was becoming so much of a bother that I was taking Tylenol, day and night.

Well, after awhile, and realizing that constant use of Tyenol would lead to other negative health problems, I mentioned this to my Primary Care Physician.

He referred me to a urologist who ordered an ultrasound exam of my testicles.
A very large woman, probably in her 20s, performed the exam .
I will always remember the look on her face as the did the ultrasound scan.
She probably thought she did the scan wrong, so did it again.
She left the room for a moment, returned, and concluded the exam .

The results as determined by my urologist was that my testicles were "infarcted" , meaning no blood flowing into or out of them, so basically "dead balls".

He recommended that they be removed to avoid any future possibility of cancer developing in them.

My memory of my earlier desire to have no balls, and the possibility of cancer, made the choice obvious; take them out.
He did a scrotal incision and removed them.

He never did mention prosthetic replacements.

It was only afterwards that I learned of procedures to remove them via an incision in the lower abdomen instead of the scrotum.
I wondered why he didi a scrotal removal; after some research I learned that lower abdominal removal is more tedious and risky, and is generally used in cases when cancer is already present.

And after some research I learned that prosthetic testicles can be a potential problem during their residency in the scrotum.
Problems can lead to another surgery to do repairs, remove them completely, or replace them.
As I am adverse to surgery, and since I have no personal need for prosthetic testicles, I am glad that my urologist did not mention or offer them at the time of my surgery.

Even though the result has been the realization of an early in life desire, it has taken me several years to adapt emotionally.
I had given no thought to the term eunuch, and once I realized I was not one, it had been difficult to transition from a gay male, to a gay male eunuch.

While my sexual abilities were functioning normally after the surgery, after a year, I became impotent.
My doctor prescribed an ED medication but it had no result, which is fine as the medication can also have negative side effects.

So, as previously posted, my partner, now husband, of 54 years, and I are still in love, but no longer have any sexual encounters.
I really can't blame him as one of the main enjoyments of gay sex is enjoying it for yourself, and helping your partner to enjoy it also.

With no balls, and no erection, I probably would not be interested in engaging in a sexual encounter either.

Kind of like "What's The Point" (pun intended).

Knowledge of my castration is known only to my doctors, my husband, and one very special very trusted gay male friend of many years who only knows that the surgery was a result from medical necessity, and who I have not told, and will not tell, that it is something that has fulfilled a life long desire.

Some secrets are best left as secrets, within our own minds, and since posting here is anonymous, I have no problem with sharing it "publicly" .

[Friotler7]

Thanks for sharing your story. May I ask how old were you when you had your castration?

[gayman]

Before puberty when i was 6 - 7 yo.

[Bibiballs]

In addition to the main question :
How did you felt when you understood what was castration ?